Rebecca's Rashness (8 page)

Georgia's right?
Those were words almost as rare in our experience as
Rebecca's right
or
Petal's right.

"I am?" Georgia asked, as surprised as anyone.

"Yes, of course," Annie said. "We have enough problems in our lives without having reporters or neighbors or strangers seeing this." She indicated with her hand the Petal-carrying Rebecca as Rebecca raced through the wading pool again and serpentined once more around the cement blocks. "Whatever...
this
is," Annie added.

"Yes," Georgia said with some degree of pride, "that was right of me to come up with that." Then she frowned. "Although I'm not sure that's what I meant."

We might have questioned Georgia as to just what she had meant, but Rebecca stopped her racing then, dropping Petal at our feet.

Mrs. Pete immediately went to Petal. It was handy to have her around for things like that because it meant Durinda and Jackie were free to circle Rebecca with the rest of us as we tried to figure out just what had been going on.

"So that's it then," Rebecca said, slightly out of breath. "I do wish I had Jackie's speed—you know, to make the racing part easier on my legs and lungs—but with my strength it's mostly just a breeze." She turned to Annie. "I'll need about fifteen hundred dollars from the checkbook. No, better make that two thousand dollars, just to be on the safe side."

"Two thousand dollars?" Annie looked aghast. "Whatever for?"

Rebecca looked aghast at Annie's aghastment. "Why, for the Finnish Wife-Carrying Championship, of course."

"The Finn—" Annie started to say, but Marcia cut her off.

"Oh, I know all about that!" Marcia said excitedly. "I read about it somewhere once." Then her expression grew puzzled. "But why didn't I recognize that from what Rebecca was doing with Petal?" And then her expression eased. "Maybe it's because of the way Rebecca was doing it—you know, the reduced size of the water obstacle and all that."

"Okay," Annie said, "I can understand why Marcia might know about this ... Finnish Wife-Carrying thing. Marcia just seems to know lots of bizarre little facts. But how do
you
know about it, Rebecca?"

"Because I read about it on Mommy's computer, didn't I?" Rebecca said boldly.

We reeled back from her. Mommy's computer was in Mommy's private study. We almost never went in there; we rarely used her computer the few times we did go in there; and none of us ever went in there alone.

"So what?" Rebecca dared us. "That night I was doing chin-ups on the chandelier and all those other exercises, I got bored and needed a break. So I went in Mommy's private study and began looking through those files we'd looked at that one time. And when I got bored with that, I began surfing the Internet. That's when I learned about the Finnish Wife-Carrying Championship. And that is why I now need two thousand dollars. So Petal and I can go to Finland and compete. I'm sure we can win this year."

Even though Petal was already lying on the ground, she still managed to faint at this.

Mrs. Pete immediately began fanning Petal, and soon Petal was revived. We weren't sure if Petal was happy about this.

"But Petal's not your
wife!
" Georgia objected.

"So?" There was Rebecca's shrug again. "Not everyone carries his own wife in a Finnish Wife-Carrying Championship. If your wife's too heavy, you're allowed to borrow your neighbor's wife, or even search for a wife farther afield if need be. I'm confident that over time Petal and I can beat the record set by Margo Uosong of Estonia."

"Who is Margo Uosong?" Jackie wondered.

"Only the person who holds the record of having won five Wife-Carrying Championships," Rebecca said, "that's who."

My, it sounded like Rebecca had done her research for once.

"Give us enough years competing," Rebecca went on, "I'm sure we can top that."

"I don't think so," Marcia said thoughtfully.

"How can you say that?" Rebecca said. "Did you not see the ease with which we negotiated the two dry obstacles and the one water obstacle? I'm sure we'd have the fastest time."

"Maybe so," Marcia agreed, "but you still can't compete."

"You mean outside of the fact that I would never give Rebecca two thousand dollars to do this crazy thing?" Annie said.

"Yes," Marcia said, "even outside of that. You see," she said, turning to Rebecca, "you'd be immediately disqualified."

"I'd be
what?
" Rebecca was outraged. And given her newfound strength, that was a scary thing to see.

"Petal certainly would," Marcia said calmly. "I'm familiar with the rules set forth by the International Wife-Carrying Competition Rules Committee, and in addition to the rules about length of the obstacle course and the rules about which wives are available and all that other stuff, it gives a minimum age for the wife. It doesn't say anything about the age of the wife-carrier, but the wife has to be over seventeen years of age."

Apparently, Rebecca hadn't done her research quite thoroughly enough.

"But that's insane!" Rebecca objected. "You mean I have to wait more than nine years to compete? But I'm ready now!"

"That may be the case," Marcia said. "But there's another rule that disqualifies you."

"And that is?" Rebecca demanded, scowling furiously.

"The rules clearly state," Marcia said, "and I quote, 'All participants must have fun.'" Marcia paused, cast a meaningful look at the supine Petal. "Look at Petal. Does Petal look like she's having fun?"

We looked. We had to admit, she did not.

"So you see—" Marcia started, but Rebecca cut her off.

"Fine," Rebecca said with a huff. Then she reached down, scooped Petal off the ground, and threw her over her shoulder in what we now recognized as the fireman's carry.

"Excuse me? Rebecca?" Petal poked Rebecca in the shoulder. "What are you doing?"

"Why, we need to practice some more, of course," Rebecca said.

"Practice?" Petal echoed. "But I thought Marcia just disqualified me."

"We still have to practice," Rebecca said, "so we'll be ready in a little over nine years' time to compete. I'll bet we could really be ready after nine years of practice."

"I don't think—" Petal said.

"And who knows?" Rebecca said. "After nine years of practice, you'll come to think of this as fun, meeting that requirement too."

"I don't think—" Petal said.

"Oh, and in nine years' time," Rebecca said, turning to Annie, "if you're still not willing to give me two thousand dollars to take Petal to Finland with me, I'll start a lemonade stand and raise the money myself."

And then she was off again, racing poor Petal around the yard. A moment later Rambunctious burst through the cat door—which was like our door, only for cats—with Precious slung over her shoulder in the fireman's carry, and she began racing around the lawn too.

"Does anyone mind if I go for a swim in the old wading pool?" Zinnia asked.

We ignored her.

"Well, that was fun," Durinda said, brushing her hands together in a so-much-for-that motion.

"Yes," Georgia agreed, "just another nutty day in our nutty family."

"I hope Petal will be okay," Jackie said as Rebecca whizzed by with Petal again. "She's been hanging upside down for so long, all the blood's rushed to her head."

"She does look like a terrified tomato attached to a body," Marcia observed.

"I can't believe Rebecca thought I'd just give her two thousand dollars so she could take Petal to Finland," Annie said. "The gall of that girl!"

"Where'd I leave my toolbox, Jill?" Pete asked Mrs. Pete.

"Where you always do, dear," Mrs. Pete said. "Why?"

"I need to take down that fence," Pete said.

"But why?" Jackie said. "I thought you put it up there to protect us from reporters and the like."

"I did," Pete agreed. "But Rebecca's incident with the Hummer was three days ago. Reporters have short attention spans, so they should be on to something else and we should be safe from them now. Besides..." He paused, looking uncertain as to whether or not it was wise to finish his thought.

"Besides what?" Jackie prompted.

"With the fence up," Pete said, "people may not be able to see us, and that is a good thing. But with it up, we also can't see out. And I think we need to—you know, if something evil this way comes."

"You're getting rid of the fence?" Petal shrieked as Rebecca raced by with her once more. "I certainly hope you don't cancel the no-fly zone!"

NINE

"Jackie," Rebecca instructed, "get out the bouncy boots and put them in the front yard."

"Aye, aye," Jackie said, saluting smartly.

"Zinnia," Rebecca instructed, "get out the wall-walkers and put them in the front yard."

"Aye, aye," Zinnia said, trying to salute in the manner Jackie had but succeeding only in poking herself in the eye.

"Annie," Rebecca started to instruct.

"Don't instruct me," Annie said. "You're not the boss of me."

"You're not the boss of me either," Durinda said, heading off to the kitchen.

"I think I'll help Durinda since Jackie's busy with the bouncy boots," Georgia said. Then, as she was nearly out the door, she mumbled, "No one's the boss of me."

We knew why she only mumbled it. Georgia was scared Rebecca would replace Petal with her for the Finnish Wife-Carrying.

"I'm curious," Marcia said to Rebecca, "why are you having the others bring the bouncy boots and the wall-walkers into the front yard?"

"Well," Rebecca said, "we can't very well have a party without some sort of entertainment for our guests, can we?"

Yes, it was finally July 14—Bastille Day!—and we were getting ready for our big party. We'd sent out invitations and, surprisingly, all the invitees had RSVPed yes. Most of us were scared of some of those invitees who had said yes, but we were grateful that at least they had the good manners to RSVP. It was our experience that some people could be rather lax in that department.

Just that morning we'd gone to the really big supermarket, the one whose name we'd name if only it weren't so long, in order to get enough food and party goods. Durinda had been pleased to see they were having a big sale on red-white-and-blue party goods—"Eighty percent off," she'd said, "we're practically stealing these!"—since what hadn't sold on the Fourth of July could easily be used for a Bastille Day celebration. The party was set to start at 1:00 p.m., and now here was Rebecca telling us we needed some sort of entertainment for our guests.

Okay, maybe she was ordering us around.

"Could I go get the little pink car?" Petal piped up. "I think some of our guests would find it very entertainment-y to ride around the front lawn in the little pink car."

The little pink car was one of Mommy's inventions, as were the bouncy boots and the wall-walkers. Mommy was such a great scientist-inventor. We sighed. We did miss Mommy, and Daddy too.

"You're probably the only one who'd want to do that," Rebecca said to Petal. "But go ahead. I suppose we need to find some way to keep you happily entertained since I'll be too busy being the center of attention to do any wife-carrying of you today."

***

Mandy Stenko was the first to arrive...

...at 12:45 p.m.

"Have I missed anything?" she asked excitedly as soon as her mother had dropped her off and she'd waved goodbye.

"I don't think that's possible," Rebecca said, "since the party isn't supposed to start for another fifteen minutes."

"Actually," Marcia said, consulting her watch, "make that fourteen minutes. A whole minute has passed since Mrs. Stenko dropped Mandy off."

We ignored Marcia. Funny how that was getting easier to do.

"Haven't you ever heard of being fashionably late?" Georgia asked Mandy.

"Oh dear." Mandy covered her mouth with her hand. "Have I made another social faux pas?"

"Just because it's Bastille Day," Rebecca said, "there's no reason to start speaking French. No one will understand you."

"I think," Mandy said, "since there are fourteen minutes left until the party starts—"

"Actually, that's twelve minutes now," Marcia interrupted after another consult with her watch.

"I'll just go see if anyone needs help in the kitchen until that time, whenever it is," Mandy said, and she scampered off.

"Wow," Annie said to Rebecca, "the party hasn't even started yet and already you're making our guests feel welcome."

***

Eleven minutes later, at exactly 1:00 p.m., Will Simms was dropped off by his mother. We liked a person who knew to arrive exactly on time for a party.

Okay, maybe we just really liked Will Simms.

"What time shall I come back for Will?" Mrs. Simms yelled out the window to us.

"When the party's over!" Rebecca yelled back.

"Sounds perfect," Mrs. Simms said with a happy wave, and she drove off.

We really liked Mrs. Simms too.

Mandy and the others working in the kitchen must have heard the yelling because a moment later everyone was out on the lawn, all gathered around Will.

"It's so good to see you, Will," Mandy said, batting her eyelashes at him.

"Do you have something in your eye, Mandy?" Jackie asked, concerned.

"I've got a pointy stick I could use to get it out," Georgia offered.

"It's good to see everyone too," Will said as Mandy drew back sharply from Georgia. "I've been dying to hear what you all have been up to this summer."

"I went to Antarctica," Mandy said, "and mastered tensies at jacks."

"Wow," Will said, "that's, um, impressive. But what about you, Eights?"

So naturally we told him all about Uncle George and Aunt Martha's wedding, going to France, Petal spending most of the month of June under various beds, the new details about our family that we'd learned in France, and the saving of Rebecca at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

"In French that's called La Tour Eiffel," Mandy said.

We ignored her.

"I was so scared the whole month," Petal said, looking ashamed of herself for once. "That's why I spent all that time under the bed."