ReCAP: A NORMAL Novella (15 page)

I move back over her and kiss her and kiss
her and kiss her. I don’t have the balls to say the words I’m
thinking, so I push them into my kiss as I position myself to take
her.

But I need to watch her.

I pull back so I can see her eyes, silently
asking for her certainty one last time. She gives it without a
word.

I push slowly inside her, never taking my
eyes off hers. She moans softly as I fill her, careful to go slow.
She’s so fucking tight that if I didn’t know her history, I would
suspect she was a virgin, and her body both resists and accepts my
invasion simultaneously.

She lifts her hips as if to hurry me up, but
I’m going slow for myself as much as her. I don’t want this to be
over too soon, and she’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Hot,
slick, tight – like she’s sucking me – and without a barrier, it’s
even more intense.

I can’t help my loud groan as I meet the end
of her, and I stop to let her get used to me. I fear she must be
uncomfortable – she’s so fucking tight – and I’m terrified of
hurting her. She’s only ever been hurt from this act, and I want
this to feel as good for her as it does for me, though I’m not sure
that’s possible.

I know it isn’t easy for girls to come from
penetrative sex, especially if they’re inexperienced. It’s why I
made sure to go down on her first, but I’m up for the challenge. I
want this to be good for her. I want to hear her moan again. I want
to hear that strangled, breathy version of my name in her
voice.

“You okay, baby?” I ask her, but she lifts
her hips again, as if she wants more.

“
God
, yes, Sam.
Please,
move
,” she pleads.

Well fuck if she’s going to have to ask me
twice.

I withdraw halfway and push myself back in,
fully aware that she’s too small for me, or just the right size,
depending on how you see it. We moan together. She feels like
fucking heaven.

It’s never been like this before. I’ve never
been so present. I’m not racing toward the end I know will feel
better than anything, but embracing every moment, savoring it.

I pick up speed, but continue to watch her
carefully, ready to slow at the first sign of discomfort, but it
doesn’t come. All I get is encouragement, and she moves with me so
perfectly it’s impossible to doubt our bodies were made for one
another. I push myself deep, wishing I could go even deeper, but
her body is taking everything it can, and giving me everything
back.

I kiss her with all of the lust and love in
my body and soul, and her thighs tighten around my hips.

I murmur how good she feels, how tight.

“Fucking
God
,” I
groan right against her throat.

Sex is always good. It’s been my favorite
thing to do since I lost my virginity to a junior when I was
fourteen. But
this
…
this
is something different. It isn’t just the lack
of a condom. Although feeling her wetness, her heat – It’s fucking
mind-blowing
. But it’s the way we connect,
the way we just get each other in this visceral way, that even as I
get too lost to keep a conscious watch over her reactions, my body
knows exactly what she wants, what she needs.

“
Sam
…” Rory lets
out a deep, breathy moan, and it brings my orgasm right to the
surface.

No girl I’ve ever hooked up with has called
me
Sam
. I’ve always been
Cap
, and the name is singularly Rory’s, and it makes
the experience even more special.

But I can’t come yet. Not before her. So I
try to numb my mind from all of the sensations, the sounds, the
sight, because it’s all too fucking much.

She grips my hair hard, and it feels so
fucking good. Her body is gripping me too now,
choking
me, and I know she’s close, and I feel a
blazing determination driving me toward my goal.

I pull away from her mouth, needing to see
her, but her eyes are clenched shut.

“Look at me, baby,” I whisper, and she
does.

Her eyes are glazed over with lust, and my
face is so close to her that the only air I breathe comes from her
gasping exhales.

I would do fucking anything for this girl. I
would kill for her – I know it without question. I fucking
love
her. I love her more than
anything.

Her fingers clutch at my back, as if she’s
trying to pull me closer, deeper, but I’m as close as I can
physically get, and just as deep. I move harder, faster, and she
keeps up pace.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Rory,” I tell
her, groaning with almost every thrust now. I need her to get
there. Soon. “
Fuck
, baby.”

Suddenly her hips move erratically, and I
thrust hard and deep, following her lead, knowing I’m not going to
last much longer.

“
Baby
…”

“Oh my
God,
Sam…
”

And I do feel like a God. Like I’m
all-powerful. Seeing her like this, being the one to take her
there, makes me feel as if I’m completely omnipotent, like there’s
nothing I can’t do.

She moans my name again and I kiss her. I
slide my hands under her perfect little ass, squeezing my fingers
and pulling her to me and I thrust myself as deep as I can go.

She screams some crazed version of my name,
and I feel it. Her body seizes with pleasure, her limbs tightening
around me as the tightness inside her grips me with a force like
nothing I’ve ever felt – like a fucking
vise
. She rakes her nails down my back and it’s all
too erotic. She shoves her hips into me in a random rhythm, but the
last of my restraint exploded with her release, and I come deep
inside her, filling her with my own.

It’s the most intense thing I’ve ever felt,
and it takes hold of my entire body, and goes on, wave after
shocking wave, for far longer than I’ve ever experienced
before.

I collapse on top of her, heaving for
breath. I run my nose along the line of her shoulder as her fingers
trace the lines of my back.

I slip my hands under her and carefully pull
myself from her body, then roll onto my back and take her with me.
Rory lays on me like a blanket, and she’s the softest, warmest,
most perfect blanket in existence.

She presses her face into my neck and
catches her breath, and I stroke her back lightly.

“You alright, Ror?” I ask her. She nods
against my skin.

“Mmmm,” she hums, summing it up
perfectly.

I chuckle, and kiss her hair. “Well, that
makes two of us, baby.”

Rory sighs. “You’ve never called me that
before.”

“Called you what?” I ask. I call her
Ror
all the time.

She lifts her face to meet my eyes.

“
Baby
.”

She’s right. I guess I didn’t even realize I
said it out loud, but it came so naturally. Because she is. She’s
my
baby
.

“Hmm, I guess I did call you that. I don’t
know what you’re doing to me, Ror, honestly I’ve never called a
girl by a pet name in my life.”

Of course, I’ve also never been in love.

“I liked it,” Rory replies, her voice shy
and hesitant, as if she’s nervous to even admit it, though I can’t
imagine why.

I grab her neck and pull her down for a
kiss. More and more, I believe that she gets it. That she gets
us
. Because she’s already my
baby girl
, and if I were a braver man, I’d tell her
how I feel right now and take the risk, but I’m still so worried
she’ll pull away if I push too far too fast. So I let my kiss say
what I can’t.

Rory sighs and adjusts herself so she’s half
laying on me, our legs entwined.

I lay there for long, perfect minutes,
content, not needing to say a single word.

Suddenly, Rory sniffles, and there’s a faint
dampness on my chest that incites terror in my gut.

Because all my fears are coming true –
Rory’s regretting what we just did, and I don’t know what the fuck
to do.
What did I do wrong?

“Oh, baby, no,” I whisper, brushing away the
tear she couldn’t stop from falling. “What’s wrong?” I hold my
breath.

“I’m fine,” she mutters unconvincingly.
God
, it’s the worst thing she could have
possibly said.

I roll to my side so we are facing each
other, so she can’t hide from my gaze. I slip my arm under her
neck, and brush away another tear, my dread growing with every
second that passes.

“Please tell me what I did,” I beg her.
I will do anything to fix it, baby, I swear to
fucking God.

Her eyes widen
like she’s surprised, but still, she hesitates.

“Nothin’, Sam,”
she says finally. “It’s just…”

I wait in
pergatory for her to finish her sentence.

“It’s not you, I
was just thinkin’ about Robin…”

It’s the last
thing I ever expected to hear, and it fucking guts
me.

“I mean… I was
just thinkin’ that this is what my first time should have been
like, that’s all,” she explains, and my horror
dissipates.

I finally take a
deep breath.

“Nothing he did
was the way things should have been for you, Ror. I wish you never
had to go through any of that,” I tell her. I would do anything to
go back in time. To save her from that monster. To make her fall in
love with me and be the one to take her virginity – to be the one
she
gave
it to.

She
nods.

“I wish it could
have been me,” I admit. “You have no idea how much,” I add
wistfully.

Rory blinks at me.
“
Really?
”

I nod.
“Really.”

Rory’s brows pinch
together, as if in some kind of awe. “I didn’t know guys like you
existed.”

I laugh. It hasn’t
got a thing to do with
me
. “It’s not me, Ror. I
told you, you’re the one doing this to me. Trust me, normally just
the thought of sleeping with a virgin…” I trail of with a shudder I
don’t have to exaggerate. I’ve never hooked up with a virgin, for
good reason. It’s a responsibility Randy was careful to tell me to
avoid at all costs, and I took his advice to
heart.

“I wish I could
undo what he did,” I admit. More than fucking
anything
.

“It was kind of a
first for me,” Rory says timidly. “I mean,
consensually
.
I’ve never… I…”

I kiss her. “I
know, baby,” I tell her, though I didn’t know, not for sure. I’d
wondered about that best friend of hers, and hearing this satisfies
something deep inside me, but it’s hearing her give
our
doing it
such significance that really gets to me. In a way,
it
is
almost like she just gave me her virginity, and I treasure it
more than she could ever know.

“You know, if you
want to consider this your first time, I’m okay with that,” I tell
her, leaving out the fact that it would mean the fucking world to
me if she did.

She blinks at me
in astonishment for a moment before she presses her mouth to mine,
kissing me hard, and I grab her face, holding it to mine, deepening
our kiss.

The truth is, in
some ways, I feel as if this was
my
first time. Because all
the sex I’ve had before, it’s just not the same act I just
experienced, and I can’t believe that all this time I thought I was
enjoying all there was, I was missing out on
this
.
On
her
.

I roll onto my
back again, and she snuggles up against me, resting her head on my
chest. I just lay there, listening to her breathing relax, and
feeling her heart beat against my chest.

“You sure swear a
lot during… you know,” she says, yawning.

I know I curse a
lot all the time, but I’m not sure I’ve ever been told I do it more
during sex.

“Do I?” I smirk.
“You know, you can say ‘sex’, you don’t have to be embarrassed,
baby. Especially since we’re still naked.”

She laughs,
shoving at my chest playfully.

“Well do you want
to know what
you
sound like during
sex
?” Even the
memory of it has me stirring against her thigh
already.

“God, no!” she
assures me, and we both laugh.

I sigh. “You sound
– and look – like every fucking fantasy I’ve ever had,” I
confess.

Minutes pass, and
I think she’s fallen asleep.

“Is it always like
that?” she asks softly.

“No.” I can’t
believe she would even think that.

She looks up at me
in confusion.

“It’s never like
that, Ror,” I tell her meaningfully.