Reckless (16 page)
Her eyes opened, glistening in the candlelight. “Really? You wrote this song for me?”
He shook his head, feeling a little apprehensive about exposing the truth. He didn’t want her to think he had been harboring some sick obsession. “Most of the songs were written shortly after that night we spent together. I was going through a tough time.” He fixated on the flicker of candlelight instead of trying to read the expression in her eyes. “Writing music has always helped me work through things.”
“Wow,” she whispered. “I’m going to listen to these songs in a whole new way now. I had no idea.”
He braved a glance and instead of seeing fear or disgust in her eyes, he was rewarded with a look of awe. “You really like it?”
“I love it.” She reached out to take his hand. “Thank you.”
He smiled, grateful that he’d had the courage to tell her the truth. “It’s going to be the first single on my new album. We’re going into the studio to record it next week. Luc wants to release it ASAP.”
She eased down on her knees on the floor, leaning over the bed so they were face to face. She stroked his cheek. “I’m so happy for you. You deserve this. You know that, don’t you?”
He wanted to believe he did, but he knew there were hundreds, if not thousands of musicians in Nashville who were equally as talented. He knew that luck had also played a role in his good fortune.
He took her hand and kissed her palm. “Thanks for saying that, sweetheart.”
She climbed on the bed and straddled his waist as she reached over to grab the small bottle she’d left on the nightstand. “Okay, now I want you to close your eyes and relax.”
He chuckled. “Honey, when you’re sitting on top of me, naked, I’m not really thinkin’ about winding down.”
She laughed as she slapped his back. “Be quiet. I want to hear this song. Close your eyes and just enjoy the music.”
He frowned. “Baby, listening to the sound of my own voice doesn’t really do it for me.”
She rubbed up against him, proving to him how aroused she was. “But it does do it for me, in a big way.”
He got hard instantly. “Okay, whatever you want, you got it.” He heard her rubbing her hands together.
She began to massage his shoulders. Her hands were slick and they slid over his skin easily as she rubbed and stroked his tense muscles.
He sighed, enjoying her masterful touch. “God, you’re good at that.”
“I took a few night courses for fun while I was in college.”
“I don’t even want to know why you have that shit in your bedroom,” he said, trying to block out the image of her doing to another lover what she was doing to him.
She laughed. “I give all my men the royal treatment, Ty.”
He flipped over quickly, catching her by surprise as he seized her waist. “Don’t do that, Avery. Don’t mess with me like that.”
She frowned, looking confused. “I’m sorry. I was just teasing.”
He closed his eyes, feeling like an idiot for overreacting. “I’m sorry. I just can’t stand to think of you being with anyone else like this.”
She smiled. “I’m not with anyone else right now. I’m here, with you, so why don’t we just enjoy it, okay?”
He shook his head, knowing he wouldn’t be satisfied unless he and everyone else knew that this woman was his. That meant putting a ring on her finger and there was only one way he could do that. He had to divorce Abby. “I love you. I want to be with you, only you. I need to know how you feel about me.”
She closed her eyes. “Please, don’t do this.”
He felt the fear but knew he had to confront it or continue battling this uncertainty about his future, their future. “I need to know how you feel about me.”
She opened her eyes to look at him. “We haven’t known each other very long.”
“That’s a cop out and you know it. I feel it. I need to know if I’m alone in this. If I am, just say the word.”
“You’re not,” she whispered.
He was shocked at the depth of his feelings for this woman, overwhelmed by the fact that he hadn’t even realized how much he needed to hear her say those words to him. “I want to be with you, only you.”
“I want that too, but...”
He shook his head, pressing his fingertips against her lips. “No buts. If we both want this, I’m gonna find a way to make it happen.”
“What does that mean?” she asked, looking apprehensive.
“I’m gonna find a way to divorce Abby so we can be together, officially, forever.”
Tears trembled on her eyelids. “Ty, I can’t ask you to do that to your family.”
The thought of doing anything to hurt his family ate him up inside, but he couldn’t live with himself if he lost her again. “I’ll find a way to make it work,” he whispered, brushing his thumb over her lower lip. “I need to be with you. I need everyone to know that we’re together, that you’re mine...”
She smiled as a tear slipped down her cheek. “Does that work both ways, cowboy?”
He grinned. “Baby, I haven’t looked at another woman the same way since I met you.”
“Have there been a lot of women? Since you met me, I mean.”
“Hell yeah.”
She slapped his chest. “You could’ve lied.”
He laughed before turning serious. “I was trying to convince myself that what I’d found with you that night was just my imagination. I thought if I could find that with someone else, I’d be able to forget about you.”
Biting her lip, she looked away. “And did you?”
His hands slid up her ribcage. “What do you think?”
Her voice was low, barely audible, when she said, “Ty, you’re going to be out on the road soon. You’ll have women throwing themselves at you all the time. How do you know you won’t meet someone else?”
He cursed himself for not realizing it sooner. It was so obvious to him now. Her reluctance to be with him stemmed from her insecurity about his career. He pulled her down on top of him, holding her close as he whispered in her ear, “It’s you I want to be with, Avery. That’s not gonna change.”
She rolled off of him, turning her back. “You don’t know that for sure. No one knows what the future might bring.”
He knew there was no way he could reassure her with words. He had to find a way to show her, beyond the shadow of a doubt, how much she meant to him. He kissed her shoulder. “Let me love you.”
He closed his eyes as he listened to the words of his song besiege them. It was a song about a man who was tormented by the woman who’d left him. He saw her face in every crowd, longed to hear her voice every time the phone rang. Those were his words, his story. He couldn’t go through that again. He had to find a way to convince her to believe in him, in them, as much as he did.
She rolled over to face him. “I do want to be with you. I’m just scared.”
He brushed her hair off her face. She was so beautiful, so perfect, and so achingly vulnerable. “I would never do anything to hurt you. I need you to believe that.”
“I want to,” she whispered, refusing to look him in the eye.
He tipped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Let me prove it to you.” He reached for his jeans on the floor and found a condom, setting it on the nightstand.
Her eyes drifted closed as he kissed her neck. She put her arms around his neck, drawing him closer.
“I love you, baby,” he whispered. He moved his mouth over hers and kissed her deeply, slowly, thoroughly.
She whimpered, raking her hands through his hair. “Show me.”
He reached over to retrieve the condom. Without taking his eyes off her, he slid it on, positioning himself on top of her. He slid in slowly, giving her time to adjust to him as the music surrounded them.
“Yes,” she whispered, her eyes drifting closed. “That feels so good.”
He took a moment, remaining still, as he admired her. Her cheeks were flushed, her hair was tousled, and her eyes, when open, were dark with arousal. She was every fantasy he’d ever had, and she was his.
He braced her wrists above her head as he found a smooth and steady rhythm that he knew would create just enough friction to optimize her pleasure.
“Oh God,” she moaned. “Yes, just like that.” She gasped. “Oh God, Ty, oh, that feels so amazing.”
“That’s it, baby. Just let go.”
She strained against his hands. “Yes, oh, I’m gonna...”
Gently, he rocked back and forth, allowing her tremors to subside before he claimed her mouth again. “You are so damn beautiful,” he said, when they finally broke apart.
She smiled against his lips, squeezing him with her inner muscles.
He threw his head back, stunned by the sudden intensity. “Jesus, that...”
She did it again, tensing and relaxing around him. “Yeah? You like that?”
He closed his eyes, releasing her. He braced his hands on the headboard above her as he struggled to find control. “You have no idea.”
“Let go, Ty,” she whispered.
He threw his head back and gave himself over to the powerful sensation rocking his body. “Ahhh, damn it...”
She touched his cheek. “I love you, Ty.”
He opened his eyes to look at her, shocked by her words. “What did you just say?”
“I said I love you.”
He grinned. “Say it again.”
Ty had barely taken the time to sleep in the weeks following his afternoon tryst with Avery in her apartment. Between interviews, special events, and studio time, his quality time with Avery was limited to an hour in front of the TV before bed every night. He’d taken to staying at her place instead of trekking back into the city every morning. Every moment he spent with her served to solidify his confidence in their future.
She was starting to open up to him, sharing some of her childhood memories, both the happy and the heartbreaking. He was beginning to understand why she was so reserved, why she guarded her heart and chose emotionally unavailable men instead of putting herself out there and risking rejection. She believed her own parents, who were supposed to love her unconditionally, had rejected her, so how could she be expected to believe a man when he said he would be there to love her forever? But Ty was determined to convince her, no matter how long it took, that she could count on him.
He flipped the dial on the radio as he turned onto the dirt road leading to his family’s ranch. More than anything, he wanted to be cuddling on the couch with Avery, telling her about his day. But this conversation with his parents was long overdue, and if he wanted to move forward with the woman he loved, he had to put the past behind him.
He pulled his truck up behind his father’s old work truck and sighed as he cut the engine. His parents had worked so hard all their lives, to maintain the family homestead, to provide for their boys. One of the main reasons he wanted to make it in this business was so he could make their lives easier. He only hoped they weren’t too proud to accept his help.
He pulled the screen door open and was overcome with the sounds and smells of home. His mother had the radio in the kitchen tuned to a classic country music station and the fire was burning in the hearth, warming the main living areas.
He hung his coat on the rack and called out, “Something sure does smell good, Mama.”
She came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her flowered apron. Her creased face broke into a wide smile, her blue eyes shining with delight as she held her arms out to him. “Come here, you. We haven’t seen you around here in ages. Where the heck have you been, boy?”
He bent to hug her, taking in the scent of cinnamon and nutmeg. “You been bakin’?”
She smiled and swatted him with her tea towel. “You haven’t changed a bit since you were a boy. You always could smell my apple pie from a mile away.”
He grinned. “Apple pie, huh? Looks like I’m just in time.” He poked his head in the living room. “Where’s Dad?”
“He just went out to see your brother about something. He’ll be in soon enough.” She grabbed his hand and led him into the kitchen. “What’s been happening with you, honey?” She patted his hand. “Tell me everything. I don’t want you to leave a thing out.”
He pulled out one of the big oak chairs surrounding the dining table in the middle of the kitchen and settled into it with a weary sigh.
His mother’s gray brows drew together in a frown. “What’s wrong, sugar? Haven’t you been sleeping?”
She set two coffee mugs down on the table before going back to the counter for the creamer and sugar. “Listen here, I know you’ve been waiting a long time for this, but you can’t be running yourself ragged. You’ll get sick if you don’t take care of yourself.”
Ty didn’t know how to tell his mother that when he fell into bed at night, no matter how tired he was, sleep was the last thing on his mind. He settled his hand over hers. “I’m happy, Mama. Things are good, real good.”
She smiled as she searched his eyes. “Why do I get the feeling this is about more than just your music? You’ve been spending an awful lot of nights in town lately, Ty. Is there someone special you wanna tell me about, honey?”