Reclaim Me (The Jaded Series Book 2) (14 page)

Her eyes soften, as if she gets what I’m saying. It has nothing to do with not trusting her. It’s a protective instinct that a lot of men carry. It’s ingrained in us.

“Alright, Mac, I understand.”

She drops her hand and walks around to the other side of the car. T has already gotten into the backseat and is sitting quietly, once again, playing his game. I start the car and Mia looks to the back at T.

“Hey, Trent,” she says.

He briefly glances up from his game and mutters, “Hey.”

“What are you playing?” Mia asks, not deterred from his lack of interest in her. That’s one thing I love about Mia. When she wants something, she doesn’t let anything get in her way of getting it. Right now, she wants to talk to T whether he wants to talk or not. I think that’s what T needs. He needs to see that Mia is truly interested in him. He needs to see that she isn’t here because she has ulterior motives.

“Minecraft,” is his one word reply.

“Oh, I’ve played that one before.”

I watch in the rear view mirror as T jerks his head up. “You have?”

“Yep, sure have. Andrew and I play sometimes. Have you been to the End Portal yet?”

“No, I’ve found the portal but I don’t have enough Ender Pearls yet.” His words are gibberish to me, but I’m enjoying hearing him open up to Mia a little. She’s found common ground between the two of them, something they can relate to.

“Maybe we can play together sometime, and I can help you find more.” She looks up to me and smiles. I can tell by her smile that she’s happy that T is starting to open up a little.

“Yeah, sure, we can do that,” he says lazily, like he doesn’t really care, but I can see the spark in his eye. He’s interested but doesn’t want to make like he is.

Mia turns her head back around and sits back in her seat with a small smile in place. I take a chance, reach over, and grab her hand that she has lying beside her. She doesn’t object when I lace our fingers together, just looks down at them with concentration on her face. When she looks up at me, the look disappears and is replaced with raised brows. I give her a shrug and smile before looking back to the road. Her car is a stick shift so when I need to change gears, I take her hand and place it on my thigh until I can pick it back up. She lets me do this, and I can’t help but want to jump for joy. I’m not under the illusion that this means anything, but it still feels really nice to touch her again, even if it is something so mundane as holding hands.

None of us talk the rest of the way to Maggie’s. T plays his game and Mia stares out the window while I concentrate on driving.

A few minutes later, we step through the doors and take a seat in a booth. T on one side, Mia and me on the other. Mia tried sitting by herself, but I slid in beside her before she could protest. Nitra walks up to our table, and the surprise is evident on her face at seeing the three of us sitting together, but she doesn’t say anything. I’m sure we’ll get that a lot.

“Hey, guys, how are y’all this morning?” She says.

“We’re good, Nitra, thank you. How have you been?” I ask with a smile.

She smacks the gum in her mouth before replying, “I’m great.”

Her eyes are darting between the three of us. I can see she wants to ask what’s going on, but she holds her tongue. Mia doesn’t though.

“It’s just lunch, Nitra, nothing more. No sense starting rumors,” Mia says.

Nitra bristles as if she’s offended, but we all know that her next move will be to pick up the phone that will eventually lead to every person in a five-mile radius knowing we are having lunch together.

“What? I wouldn’t…” she starts, but Mia doesn’t let her finish.

“Ha! Yes, you would. I see the wheels turning in your head. You can’t wait to get on the phone.”

She barks out a laugh and says, “Well, it is a surprise to see the two of you sitting together. You normally bite each other’s heads off if you’re in the same room.”

Mia repeats herself, “It’s just lunch, Nitra.”

She smirks at her and turns her attention to T. “Hi, T. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you.”

Trent smiles big at Nitra and says, “Hey, Nitra.”

Trent has a crush on her. It’s funny to watch his boyish attempts to flirt with her. He has good taste. Nitra is a very pretty woman with strawberry blonde hair that she currently has pulled back into a high ponytail. She has warm brown eyes and wears minimal makeup. Even at work, she’s always wearing classy clothes. Today, she’s wearing a turquoise button up blouse paired with black skinny jeans. Even her shoes are a classy pair of black strappy sandals.

“How have you been, handsome?” She says with a wink at him.

“Really good. Will you be working tomorrow?”

“Actually, I’ll be here tomorrow evening. I’ll save you a piece of the house pie if you’re here for dinner.”

He turns his head towards me and asks enthusiastically. “Can we, Dad?”

No way can I tell him no when he’s this excited. Lately, it’s not very often that I see him truly happy. “Sure, T, we can eat here tomorrow evening.”

He beams his smile back at Nitra. “We’ll be here. Can you save me two pieces?”

She ruffles his hair and replies, “Yep, I can do that. So, what would y’all like to drink?”

She takes our drink orders and goes back behind the counter. I look across to Mia, who has a grin on her face as she watches T watch Nitra. I reach under the table and grab her hand again. The move surprises her, and she looks at me. I ignore her look and pick up the menu, even though I don’t need it. I really like this. It’s almost like we’re a family out for lunch. I know I shouldn’t think this, but I can’t help the thought from popping in my head. What I wouldn’t give for this to be reality.

A few minutes later, Nitra brings our drinks and takes our order.

“So, Mac, I meant to ask you the other day. Do you still have Marabelle?” Mia asks before taking a sip of her drink.

I look over at her and squeeze her hand. “No, she passed away a few years ago during child birth. I have her foal though. Her name is Pepper.”

Sadness enters Mia’s face. She always loved Marabelle, who was her favorite out of all the horses my family had. Marabelle was the one she learned how to ride a horse on. From that first day, Mia refused to ride any other horse. When she passed away, my thoughts went automatically to Mia, wishing she was there with me.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve missed her. I wish I knew,” she says quietly.

Would she have come if she did know? I want to say no because of her hatred of me. But another part of me says yes. She loved that horse so much that she would have put aside her feelings to be with Marabelle.

“Do you still ride?” she asks after a few minutes.

“Not as much as I’d like. I take T out sometimes. You’re more than welcome to come by and meet Pepper. She’s a beauty. I think you’d like her.”

She graces me with a smile and says, “Sure, I’d like that.”

I love that I can put a smile on her face. It’s been ten years since I’ve been able to claim that. They are coming more and more, and it gives me hope that we’ll be okay. I know that she’ll never fully trust me again, but I’ll take what I can get.

“Do you like to ride, Trent?” she asks T.

He looks up from his lap where his ever present game is. “It’s great. My favorite is Drakar.”

“Drakar? He must be new,” she says looking at me.

“He is. We don’t have as many as we used to. When mom and dad retired to Florida, we decided to sell off most of them because I didn’t have the time to spend with them like they needed. We sold all but two, and then I found Drakar. He had been badly neglected. The woman that had him had just lost her husband and couldn’t care for him anymore. I took him off her hands.”

Her blue eyes soften and she replies with, “That was very nice of you. I can’t wait to meet him.”

“Maybe you can swing by this weekend. We’ll take Pepper and Drakar out. They’re about due for a ride anyway.”

“I’ll let you know,” she’s says noncommittally, but I can tell she likes the idea.

Just then, Nitra walks up with our food. T does his attempt at flirting again, before she walks off with a chuckle. We make small talk throughout our meal. When we’re done, I pay the bill, and we all file out and pile back in the car. The trip back to Jaxon’s is short, and we ride in silence.

“Thanks for taking care of the tire for me and for breakfast,” Mia says.

“It was T that did most of the work,” I tell her glancing in T’s direction.

Mia walks over to him. He’s shifting from one foot to the other, like he’s uncomfortable with being called out on working on her car.

Mia holds out her hand and says, “Thank you, Trent.”

He looks from her hand to her face before slowly putting his hand in hers and giving it a shake.

“You’re welcome,” he mumbles.

“Let me know when you want to get together and play Minecraft,” she says and releases his hand.

He nods his head and replies, “Okay, will do.”

T gets in the truck while I walk Mia to her car. She turns to me when we reach her door.

“Thanks again.”

I reach down, grab her hand, and bring her wrist up to my lips where I place a kiss against it. She sucks in a breath at the action. It was something that I did often when we were younger.

“Mac…” she begins, but I place a finger over her lips.

“I know, Pix. I’m not going to push, okay? But I’m not going to just go away either. It may never go anywhere, and I understand that, but I’m going to at least try. I have to at least try.”

“I can’t, Mac. I can’t get the picture of you and her out of my head. I want to give us another try, but that’s just something I don’t think I’ll ever get over. I barely survived last time. I can’t go through something like that again, and I’m terrified it would go wrong somehow. I don’t blame you anymore for what happened, but regardless of the circumstances and the whys, it still happened. I still see it so clearly, even after ten years,” she says all this quietly.

The pain in her eyes nearly brings me to my knees. I put that hurt there. It was my lack of control and my actions that brought on this horrible, deeply ingrained pain that I see on her face. We were both hurt by it, but at least I have the haze of the drugs to fog my memory some. Although Mia was drinking at the time, I know she wasn’t drunk. The visions that she sees are clear as day. I don’t know how to help her. I don’t think there is anything I can do to help her get over this pain, which leaves me feeling more helpless than I’ve ever felt in my life.

“I’m not giving up, Pix. I won’t push, but I won’t back away.” I grab her hand and place it over my heart that’s thumping in my chest. “This hasn’t beat properly since that night. My heart hasn’t been whole since that night. There’s been a hole there that can’t be filled. Just give us a chance.”

I watch as her eyes glass over with moisture. They slide away from mine. I let her have her reprieve for a moment. She takes a deep breath and looks at me again.

“I’m sorry, Mac, but I just don’t think I can.” Her eyes plead with me to understand, and I do understand, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving in. I know there is still something between us, and I will do everything I can to prove it to her. For now, though, I give her what she needs to hear.

“Okay, Pix. I’ll leave it for now.”

I take a step back from her and open the door. She slides inside, starts her car, and puts down the window.

“I really did have a nice time today. Thank you,” she says sadly.

“I did, too. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” I reach up and swipe my thumb across her cheek. She closes her eyes briefly, as if she’s savoring the feeling.

“Goodbye, Mac.”

“Bye, Pix.”

And then she’s gone, leaving me standing there with even more determination to prove to her that we can be us again. I don’t know how I’ll do it, but damned if I’ll give up now.

Chapter Thirteen

Mia

Her flaws…

“How do you fit three gay guys on one bar stool?” Andrew asks and looks around to us all. Jaxon is standing behind the bar with his arms on either side of Bailey resting on the counter. Andrew and I are on the other side sitting on stools. We’re all enjoying the peace and quiet before the night time rush. Andrew’s been entertaining us with random jokes for the last half hour.

When none of us come up with an answer, Andrew puffs out a frustrated breath. “Ah, come on guys! You’ve got to know this one!” Still, none of us say anything. “You flip it over.”

Jaxon groans and shakes his head while Bailey and I laugh. “You have a very deranged mind, Andrew,” Jaxon tells him.

“What? You didn’t think it was funny? How about this one? “‘A guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey. After slamming the shot glass down, he orders another.’

‘The bartender asks, “What’s the matter?”’

‘The guy says, “I just found out my youngest son is gay.”’

‘The next day, the same guy is back ordering a shot of whiskey.’

‘“Another!” The guy yells after slamming the shot glass down.’

‘“Now what’s the matter?” The bartender asks.’

‘“I just found out my oldest son is gay.’

‘Two days later, the guy’s back again, asking for another shot of whiskey.’

‘“Shit, man, does anyone in your house like pussy?” The bartender asks.’

‘“Yes!” The guy yells. “My fucking wife!”’

When Andrew is done with his joke, we all laugh with him. I really love Andrew. He can make anyone feel better with his silly ways. He tells a few more jokes until our attention is pulled away from him when the door opens.

“Chris!” Andrew yells in his deep voice. “Come on over here, baby, and sit with us!”

Chris sends us a wave and walks over.

“Hey, guys,” she says and takes a seat next to Andrew.

Andrew reaches over, pulls her stool closer to him, and throws his arm around her shoulder. We all know what’s coming next.

“So, Chris, any word yet when your brother is coming to town?”

Ever since the day Chris showed Andrew her brother’s picture, he has been obsessed, constantly asking her when he was going to be here. It’s pretty pathetic, but it’s been funny watching him fawn over someone he’s never even met.

“Nope, not yet. He has a few things he has to do before he can break away.”

“Can you ask him to hurry it up? It feels like I’ve been waiting on him forever,” Andrew says in a serious voice. He really is unbelievable sometimes.

Chris chuckles, “It’s hasn’t been that long, Andrew. I only showed you the picture a little over a week ago.”

“Yeah, but the day you showed me that picture was already a day too long. I need to see him in person. Wait!” Andrew straightens up in his chair and faces Chris. “Does he know about me?”

Chris looks away from him guiltily. “No. I didn’t want to add any more pressure on him.”

“So, that’s why he’s not up here already. If he knew about me, he wouldn’t want to waste anytime getting to me,” Andrew says cheekily.

“God,” Bailey says. “Can anyone be more full of themselves?”

Chris gives us all a sad smile. “He’s already dealing with the repercussions of my family by himself. I want him up here as soon as he can get here, and I was worried that if I told him I was trying to set him up, he may hesitate. Jase is a very independent and determined person and doesn’t like to be coerced.”

Andrew picks up Chris’s hand and kisses the back of it. “Don’t you worry about a thing, Chris. I plan to take good care of him. No coercion will be needed once he gets a good look at me.” He sends her a wink.

And Andrew will. He’s the type of person that will give his life for those he cares about. Andrew is outrageously funny, sweet, loyal to a fault, and a badass when he needs to be. The guy that captures Andrew’s heart, and gives his in return, will be very lucky. Andrew will give his all to ensure that person is happy, I have no doubt. However, don’t let his loving nature fool you. It takes a lot to make Andrew angry, but when he is, he’s unstoppable. You don’t want to be in his path when he’s angry.

“I know you’ll take good care of him, Andrew. That’s why I wanted you to meet him. He’s a really good guy. A little rough sometimes, but he’s one of the best people I know. Not to mention, you’re hot, and I’m hoping that once he gets to know you, it’ll make him want to stay.”

“Think I’m hot, do you?” he asks with a grin.

“You know you are,” all three of us girls answer at once, which causes Andrew and Jaxon to laugh.

“I know, I know, you all want me. I’m sorry, ladies, but as pretty as you girls are, I just can’t get it hard for you. But you, Jaxon,” he gives him a sexy dimpled smile. “You can have me anytime, until Jase gets here. No dice after then. I’m a one man man.”

Chris elbows him in the ribs, and I throw a coaster at him, which he dodges. Jaxon just chuckles, bends his head, and plants a kiss on the back of Bailey’s neck.

“In all honesty, Chris. He’ll be in good hands here. We’ll find a way to get him to stay.” Andrew gives her shoulders a squeeze before letting go.

The door opens again and in walks Mac and Nick. They immediately head in our direction. Mac stops beside my stool. His leg brushes against mine when he squeezes in to take a seat. I can feel the heat from the close proximity of him, and it makes my heart rate pick up.

There’s an empty stool beside Chris that’s closest to the door, but Nick bypasses it. Instead chooses to take the one on the other side of Mac. He keeps his eyes away from Chris as he passes her. I watch as Chris’s expression falls at the obvious rejection. I look over to Jaxon and Bailey and see they noticed as well. Jaxon looks at me and shrugs. Bailey just looks sadly at her friend. There is some seriously fucked up shit going on there.

Both Mac and Nick order beers, and Jaxon fetches them.

I look across Mac and talk to Nick. “Hey, Nick, how have you been?”

“Just peachy,” he says into his beer bottle, his body tense.

I raise my eyebrows at Mac at Nick’s snide remark. I don’t let his attitude deter me.

“When did you get back?”

He looks at me out the corner of his eye and grumbles, “This morning.”

“Are you okay?” I prod some more.

“Yep,” he grunts back.

“Are you sure? You seem kind of tense.” I know I’m pushing, but I don’t care anymore. It’s time we stop pussy footing around him. He’s moped around enough. If no one else is willing to put a stop to it, I will.

“Jesus Christ woman! Yes, I’m fine, okay!” he barks.

“Hey!” I raise my voice and lean across Mac with my arm on the bar in front of him. He sits there quietly drinking his beer. Everyone else around is quiet as well. “We’re your friends and we care about you and we’re worried about you. If you don’t like it, then too damn bad.”

“Mia—”

“No, Sheriff, he needs to stop being a dick. I’m tired of his grouchy damn attitude,” I tell Mac.

“Piss off, Mia. I don’t need your fucking concern. I just want to sit and drink my damn beer in peace.”

“Nick, watch it, man,” Mac warns.

Nick closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them again. I can see him visibly trying to control his temper. He turns his head to me.

“Sorry, Mia. I’ve just had a rough week. I appreciate your concern, but I promise I’m okay.”

“I understand, Nick. Please know that we’re all here for you if you need us.”

He nods his head and says, “I know.”

I sit back in my seat and pick up the soda sitting in front of me. I look around and see everyone watching me, except Bailey, who has her eyes on Nick. She looks like she’s going to break down any moment. Jaxon turns her around and wraps his arms around her while she buries her face in his chest. The look he sends Nick’s way is a mixture of empathy and displeasure. I know that Jaxon has mixed feelings towards Nick’s behavior. He hates for anything to hurt Bailey, but he also knows the pain Nick is going through.

Andrew has his head close to Chris, who you can plainly see is hurting. He’s murmuring something to her that I can’t hear. I bring my gaze to Mac and see him watching me with a look of respect. His lips tip up at the corners, and he gives me a smile.

He bends his body towards me and says, “My parents are coming to town in two weeks. I’d really like if you could come to dinner one night while they’re here. They’d love to see you.”

Again, the guilt of the way I treated them makes my chest hurt. They weren’t the ones that betrayed me, but I still punished them for what their son did.

“I’m sure they probably hate me. I never went and saw them after what happened.”

“They don’t hate you, Pix. They know what happened and understand you choosing to close them out as well. They know the pain you went through.”

I look up in surprise. “They know what happened with Tessa? Everything?”

“Yes, everything, even the drugs. I was a wreck afterwards, and became even more so when you wouldn’t talk to me. They forced me to sit down and talk to them. I told them everything. I needed someone to talk to about it, needed advice on what to do.”

“What did they tell you?” I ask.

Taking my hand in his, he answers, “They told me to wait, and said not to push you. That you were hurt and I needed to give you time. They felt that you would eventually come around enough for me to talk to you and explain.” He looks down at our hands before looking back to me. “But then Tessa showed up, and it was too late. I knew that you would never give me another chance after I found out she was pregnant.”

I don’t know what to say to him. I don’t know if I ever would have allowed him to talk to me. But I do know that yes, once it was known that Tessa was pregnant with Mac’s baby, the dagger that was embedded into my heart was surrounded with cement. There was no getting it out. The pain I felt that day was unlike any other pain I had felt before. It crippled me. I stayed in my bed for a week afterwards, alternating between crying and raging. I know I was worrying my family, but I didn’t care. The pain was too great to care about anyone else. It wasn’t until Jaxon threatened to go find Mac and bring him back here so we could all talk that I snapped out of my pity party. No way was I letting him back into my house. Of course, he and Jaxon were friends so he did eventually come to the house. I simply made sure I was never there when he was.

Doubting they truly are okay with me shutting them out, I still tell Mac, “I’ll go, Mac. I owe them that much at least. They were always there when things got bad at my house with my dad.”

“You don’t owe them anything, Mia. They don’t blame you for not coming around. They knew it would be too hard on you. But they’d love to see you again.”

I smile at him, “I’d like that too. I’ve really missed them.

Mac brings my hand up and flips it over so he can kiss the inside of my wrist. I have to force back the tears that are threatening to fall. I’ve missed the sweet kisses Mac used to give me. Ever since the day that I grew the courage to give Mac the innocent kiss on his cheek at the lake and he kissed my wrist, he started doing it all the time. I miss so many things about Mac. I wish with all my heart that I could be brave again and give us another chance, but the pain I remember feeling, the pain I still feel sometimes, holds me back. I can’t get over him being with Tessa. I know it’s irrational, but I can’t help but still be hurt that he didn’t recognize that it wasn’t me that he was with until it was too late.

Beside me, I hear Bailey and Chris talking about this weekend. All three of us, along with Karyn, are going out to Lucki’s, a bar in the next town over. Bailey had to beg Jaxon to give both her and me the night off together. Of course, she didn’t have to beg too hard. Jaxon would give both balls over if it meant keeping his Angel happy. I was actually shocked that Bailey was willing to go. She normally doesn’t like crowds, especially crowds that can become rowdy. She’s come along way in the last two years, but she’s still very reserved, with good reason.

“So what time are we heading out?” I ask the other two.

“I’m picking Bailey up at eight. After, we’ll swing by and get you and Karyn. Jaxon said he would come get us when we’re ready to leave so we can all drink. He’ll come get my car the next day.”