Reclaimed Love: Banished Saga, Book Two (40 page)

“No, Miss Sullivan. Anyone can cook and clean and do all those domestic things. Well, almost everyone because you can’t. But you are the only one who makes his heart sing with joy at the mere mention of your name. Don’t discount that. Don’t try to change yourself into something you think he wants when all he wants is the woman you already are.”

I blinked rapidly to prevent tears from pouring down my cheeks. “Thank you, Mr. O’Bara.”

“I don’t believe you could be as horrible a cook as you describe.”

“Just to test that theory, would you like to come to dinner with all of us tomorrow? It would give you a chance to get out of this room and see something different.”

“How would I get there?”

“I imagine Colin and Gabriel could manage,” I said. “Will you come? I’d love to have you to our place, and I know it would do you a world of good to leave these rooms, if only for a little while.”

“Yes, Miss Sullivan. I accept. I look forward to eating your first edible meal.”

CHAPTER 43

July 8, 1901

My dearest Clarissa,

I received your letter today informing me of your journey to Montana. I have been terribly worried about you, and I am delighted that you are finally reunited with Gabriel. Has this turned out as you had wished, Clarissa?

I should warn you that Jonas has had word from Cameron, and it appears that he is headed to Missoula. Somehow he traveled to San Francisco, but he is headed back toward you again. Take care, dearest.

Jonas is irate, stating that your behavior reflects poorly on us and demanding I have no further contact with you. I, on the other hand, could not be more thrilled that you have eluded one such as Cameron. Be happy, dearest cousin.

I feel well, although many of my clothes are becoming too tight to wear. I am very excited about this pregnancy. I know Jonas says he would like a boy, but I am secretly hoping for a girl.

I miss you, dear cousin. Write me when you have the opportunity, though it would be best to mail your letters to my parents. Give Colin a big hug for me. I hope he has enjoyed his adventure and is finding that the trip to Montana was as much for him as for you.

Your Loving Cousin,

Savannah

At a knock on the door, I shook myself free of thoughts of Boston. “Gabriel,” I said with a quick smile as I moved backward to allow him to enter.

“I thought I would see how you were today as you didn’t come by the workshop.”

“Oh, I stopped to see Amelia and Ronan after work,” I said, turning toward the living room.

“Why are you upset?” He stopped my movement away from him with a gentle hand to my arm.

I stilled, thankful I did not flinch.

He lowered his hand with a questioning look.

“I received a letter from Savannah. She is well.”

“What did she write that you found unsettling?”

“Cameron is traveling to Missoula. He was in San Francisco, but now he’s coming back here,” I whispered unable to hide the panic from my gaze.

“Why is he so intent on you, Clarissa?”

I shook my head.

“What aren’t you telling me? Why does the thought of Cameron coming here terrify you?”

“Gabriel, I told you about the locket…” I said.

“Yes. There’s more though, isn’t there?”

A long silence.

“Why won’t you trust me?” he asked in an anguished whisper, moving toward me. I flinched, causing him to curse. “Dammit, I thought we were past that.”

“You would never…” I said, my face contorting with pent-up tears as I tried to turn away.

“You’re right. I’ll never understand until you tell me,” Gabriel said with a fierce tenderness, grasping my face between his palms. “Make me understand.”

I had lost all strength and crumpled to the floor, a shivering, sobbing mess. Gabriel sat beside me, eventually pulling me onto his lap, enveloping me in his warm, soothing embrace. “Tell me, darling. I can’t help you until you tell me.”

“I don’t want you to hate me,” I whispered.

“I could never hate you. I love you,” he said, kissing my cheeks and brushing away my tears. He nuzzled the side of my face, waiting. As I remained silent, he murmured. “Do you want to know what I think happened?”

I shrugged, words beyond my ability at the moment.

“I think Cameron did more than rip a necklace off your neck. I think he tried to break your spirit. Attempted to make you think that no man would ever want you but him. And he … he…” At this Gabriel stopped, not wanting to say the words. “And he forced you. He did the unthinkable.”

“Yes,” I breathed out, burrowing into Gabriel’s embrace.

“How did it happen?”

“At my house. Mrs. Smythe had invited him for tea and then had left us alone in the parlor. When he realized I had no intention of accepting him, of marrying him, he said he would make me realize I was his only option. Oh, Gabriel, it’s all my fault! If I had paid closer attention. If I’d fought harder…” I wailed, tears continuing to fall. “I couldn’t stop him. He was so strong, and he wouldn’t listen to my pleas to stop. Why did he do that, Gabriel?” I sobbed into his neck.

Gabriel’s grip tightened but never to the point of pain. He was silent for a long moment, and I worried he was disgusted by me. Then he took a deep, steadying breath. “Clarissa, you are not to blame,” he said in a low voice.

“How can you not blame me when I blame myself?” I asked, turning devastated eyes to him.

“Because you should never have been in that position,” Gabriel said with tear-brightened eyes. “Your stepmother knew what she was doing. And there was no way you could fight off a grown man, darling.” He caressed my cheek. “If I hadn’t left. If I’d stayed…” Gabriel closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and looking at me with unutterable torment. “Will you ever be able to forgive me, Clarissa?”

“I was so afraid of losing you. Of telling you the truth. And yet I had to come. I had to escape.”

“Thank God you did,” he murmured into my hair, stroking my back in a soothing pattern.

“It’s why I had to leave my da’s house. I couldn’t stay there, be anywhere near that room.”

“Darling,” Gabriel groaned as he kissed my head and rocked me.

“Can you be patient with me?”

“I can wait forever, now that we are together again,” he said, leaning back to meet my eyes. “I need you to do something for me.” At my nod, he continued. “I need you to tell me when I have upset you or reminded you of something that bothers you.”

“I will try, Gabriel,” I murmured as I collapsed against his chest. “I’m sorry. I’m so tired.”

“Then sleep for a few moments. Let me hold you,” he said, kissing my head as he leaned against the wall with me on his lap.

I don’t know how long I slept, but I awoke to hear Gabriel speaking with Colin. “Quiet, Col.”

I jerked in Gabriel’s arms, but then relaxed as Gabriel continued to stroke my back.

I heard Colin sigh and then collapse onto one of the chairs. “So she’s told you?”

“Yes. Though I have a question for you.” Gabriel’s voice rumbled, amplified in my ear by my check against his chest. “Why is that bastard still alive?”

“Because Clarissa needed my help to escape. First Da’s house and then to Montana. She didn’t need me in jail for murder.”

“If I ever see him again…”

“You’ll get in line,” Colin growled.

“And now he’s headed to Missoula,” Gabriel said with a gentle kiss to my head.

“Jedediah didn’t head him off then?” Colin asked.

I gave up pretending to be asleep and joined the conversation. “Savannah sent word that Jonas said he’s on his way here. And Mr. Maloney must have done something as Cameron ended up in San Francisco.” I heard Colin snicker and Gabriel snort.

“Good ol’ Jed,” Gabriel said. “I didn’t know him well, but a kinder man you couldn’t find.” I tried to rise from Gabriel’s protective hold, but he murmured, “Let me hold you a little longer, love.”

I relaxed into his embrace and kissed his cheek as I settled.

“What are we going to do about Cameron?” Colin asked.

“You can’t shoot him,” I mumbled, a complete enervation having overcome me in Gabriel’s arms.

“Now, Rissa,” Colin said.

“I won’t have either of you going to jail,” I said in as strong a voice as I could muster.

“Then you’ll have to do something else to foil him,” Colin said.

“Colin…” Gabriel warned.

I snuggled closer as he spoke.

“What are we eating for dinner?” Colin asked.

“Why don’t you cook?” I asked, finally turning to look at him.

“I wouldn’t muck it up any worse than you, Rissa. I just wish you’d learn someday,” he said.

“As it so happens, I’m going to learn to cook from Amelia,” I said with a small smile.

“Are you?” Gabriel asked with a grin, watching me with frank amusement. “Whose idea was it?”

“Mine. I realized she might know quite a bit about cooking, and she could teach me. When I visited her today, I knew I needed to find some way to help her that didn’t seem too much like charity.”

“And how will you manage that?” Gabriel asked.

“She’ll teach me to cook, then she and the children will have dinner with us,” I said, smiling as I thought through my plan.

“Well done, darling,” Gabriel said with an approving nod.

“It’s too bad we couldn’t get your friend Ronan up here,” Colin murmured. “I imagine he’d like a good home-cooked meal.”

“The stairs would be too much for him,” Gabriel said.

“But surely, between the two of us, we could carry him the short distance from his place and up the stairs,” Colin said with an arched eyebrow.

“I’m glad you agree, as I’ve already invited him.”

Gabriel chuckled and gave me an affectionate squeeze. “That would be grand. To have us all together for dinner. And we’ll invite Uncle Aidan too.”

“A family dinner like we used to have in Boston, Col,” I said.

“Yes, but this one with our Western family,” he said.

I sighed with contentment as I snuggled into Gabriel’s embrace.

CHAPTER 44

I CLAMBERED UP THE STAIRS to the Book Depository, making more noise than usual, looking forward to focusing on the arduous task of arranging books rather than on tonight’s dinner and Cameron.

“Mr. A.J.!” I called out. I pulled off my hat and light coat, setting them aside with my gloves. “Good morning!”

“Hello, missy,” he said in his wheezy voice, slowly making his way to his chair. He plopped onto it, taking a deep, rattling breath. He watched me for a few moments, seeming curious about my frenetic movements around the room. “You sounded like a herd o’ buffalo comin’ up those stairs. What’s got you so riled?”

“Nothing. I’m fine,” I said, slamming down a stack of books with a loud thud.

“It’s plain for anyone to see, missy,” he said, concern in his gaze. “You haven’t fought with your young man, have you?”

“No, we didn’t fight, no,” I said. I collapsed onto the miniature wooden stool I had found for myself, ready for a small chat.

“If you’re confused by somethin’ he did or didn’t do, missy, I’ve always found it best to go straight to the horse’s mouth. But he ain’t here. Tell me what happened.”

I looked behind me to ensure we were alone and no other patrons had entered. I was confident I could hear the heavy footsteps of Mrs. Vaughan or Mrs. Bouchard if they decided to pay us a visit. “I am to make dinner tonight, and I’m nervous he’ll realize how unsuitable I am to all things domestic.”

“Haven’t you cooked since your arrival?”

“Nothing edible,” I muttered.

“Don’t they teach young ladies nothin’ of use out in that big fancy city?” He wriggled his eyebrows at me.

I laughed. “No, nothing of use. And I didn’t learn well the lessons they attempted to instill, so I have very little of practical use to offer.”

“Now I doubt that, missy,” Mr. Pickens protested. “You were a teacher. That’s valuable.”

“Maybe valuable, but not practical,” I countered. “Doesn’t help me at night when I can’t cook chicken or bake bread. I nearly had to call the firefighters to put out the roast I cooked the other night!”

At Mr. Pickens’s guffaw, I giggled. “How in blazes are you cookin’ tonight?”

“I found someone to teach me,” I said.

“Who?”

“Amelia Egan.”

“You’re tellin’ me that you got the woman—who everyone says he jilted so as to return to you—to teach you?” he asked.

“Yes, that about sums it up,” I said with a broad smile.

“Well, I’ll be,” he said as he tried to whistle. He moved to the back room while I began to work.

By midafternoon, I was tired of my own thoughts and wanted some company. “Mr. A.J.,” I said as I moved onto another stack of books. I had successfully sorted about one-fourth of the stacks, but much hard work still lay ahead. I glanced longingly at the bare walls, wishing I were arranging the books on shelves. My gaze veered over to the doorway, watching Mr. Pickens make his way out of the back room. I waited for him to settle on his chair before I continued.

“You wanted me, missy?” he asked. “You done broodin’?”

“Yes, Mr. A.J.,” I said. “What would you think about asking Gabriel to build bookshelves for that wall?” I waved toward the long, barren brick wall.

“Gabriel?” he asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

“My, um, friend,” I said, blushing a rosy red.

“You mean that strapping man who wants to court you?”

“Yes, him.”

“Hmm … well, I don’t know, missy,” he said. I started my argument, but he waved away my words, his movement almost causing him to tip out of his chair. He caught himself by balancing on his cane. “I wouldn’t get any delusions of ganderer, if you know what I mean.”

“Delusions of…” My mind raced. “
Grandeur
?”

“I hear tell, when Mrs. Vaughan or Mrs. Bouchard come by, that Mr. Carnegie himself might give us money for a new library. So there’d be no need for the likes of bookshelves here, missy. ’Cause we wouldn’t be here.”