ReclaimedSurrender (2 page)

Admittedly at first glance the idea of the relationship
contract their therapist had presented to them and the exercise examples it
encompassed seemed silly and pointless. Flowers and dinner? A romantic movie
night or a greeting card for her
just because
might do it for a
traditional couple. Since their tendencies ran more toward Marquis De Sade than
the Cleavers he’d almost blown off doing it like she had, until he saw how the
contract could be tweaked with the right creative spin to accommodate his and
his wife’s particular tastes.

When that had come to him, he’d figured he should have been
grateful to the therapist because she’d inadvertently given him a legitimate
opportunity to have total control over the situation and there wasn’t a damn
thing Alexis could do about it. His wife had her turn and now it was his.

Five minutes later he entered their room. “Alex?”

She slammed one of the double closet doors and spun around.
“Where are my clothes?”

“In the guest room.”

Her expression said it all as she stormed over to her side
of the dresser and pulled out each of the five drawers, finding them empty.
“This isn’t funny, Rene.”

“No it’s not.”

She glared at him and without looking back, she kicked the
bottom drawer shut. “Why do this now? Because I stood you up? Look…” She
hesitated and he gathered it had something to do with his glacier stare because
she wisely changed her approach and adopted a much softer tone prior to
continuing. “I’m sorry it was our anniversary dinner that I missed, but it was
important business. A deal—”

“A deal that’s more important than your marriage?”

“Oh, that’s rich. Now that it’s
my
deal. My meetings.
My work schedule interfering it’s
not
okay?”

“When are you going to stop punishing me, Alex? When does it
end?”

She didn’t answer him and quite frankly, he didn’t care. A
year ago this might have bothered him, but after the last six months, not
anymore. He was immune to her silence. In fact he’d use it to his advantage
now. “I have gone against my natural instincts. I’ve done everything you have
asked me to do. Including going to counseling. And finally, just when I think
we’ve been given an exercise that makes all kinds of sense and may,
may
even move us forward with figuring out some kind of balance with all this shit,
you leave?”

She squared her shoulders and looked as if she were prepared
to dig her heels in. She couldn’t be that foolish.

“I had to go. Michael couldn’t do it on his own.”

Foolish didn’t even scratch the surface. “
Michael
can’t
do it on his own? It? You mean that important deal?” His voice was cracking he
was so furious. She was smart to step back as he approached. Her bottom hit the
dresser when he came to a stop, towering over her. “What about me? What about
what you left me to do here on my own? The week, remember? Seven days of
rediscovery. How was this supposed to happen when you ignore me for the first
half and leave for the second? How?”

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have made the effort.
We’ll start the week over tomorrow. On Monday. Then you can have your turn.”

Just like that. Problem solved. Not a fucking chance. “No.”
He moved to give her some space but not much. “You had your week and now it’s
my turn.”

“I see.” Yet he feared she didn’t because there was a smarmy
edge to her voice that didn’t bode well for either of them. Thank Christ he
loved the hell out of her because right now that was all that was standing
between him and the desire he had to wring her gorgeous neck or heat her
beautiful ass. “You want to start your turn with us rediscovering ourselves by
moving me into the guest room?”

“Absolutely. At least I’m being honest about how I feel. I’m
not going to hide behind a busy work schedule or rudely ditch you at dinner
because I don’t want to be around you. The truth is you don’t deserve to be in
my bed and if you ever want to get back into it you’re going to have to earn
the privilege.”

She raised her brows at him, which really ticked him off.
“It
is
a privilege, Alexis, and one that you’ve somehow misconstrued
into being a God-given right. I may have said vows, but so did you. This is our
marriage.
Ours
being the operative word.”

She pushed away from the dresser and went to duck around
him, belligerently brushing him off like she’d been doing for the past six
months. It was too much. He grabbed her arm. “I’m not finished.”

She didn’t look at him. “I think I’ve heard enough.”

He pulled her toward him with a jerk. “And I say you
haven’t. Look at me.”

When she did he let go of her. “For the past year I’ve
listened to you whine and complain about how unhappy you are. I have put up
with your tantrums and dramatics. I’ve had accusations lumped upon me. I sold
two of my companies to free up my time for you. Hell, I’ve basically
emasculated myself going to couple’s counseling with a therapist who doesn’t
know who we really are. Parroting the same advice every time, that
I
should be more sensitive to
your
needs. Your needs? What about my needs?
What about my happiness? Don’t these things matter to you anymore? Me?” He
ended softly.

Finally she looked at him. Really looked at him as if maybe
his words had gotten through to her. “Of course they do. You do.”

“I’m not happy, Alex. I haven’t been for quite a while. A
good, long while and I know why. I think it’s about time we get back to
worrying about my needs so we can both be happy.”

Her look was dubious just before she turned away. “Really?”

He could practically smell the wood burning. She’d
automatically equated the word
needs
with sex. How utterly predictable.
Since that had been her best weapon in this battle they waged against one
another. “This isn’t about sex.”

“No?” She seemed surprised. Maybe she should be…or would be.

“It’s about kindness and decency and mutual respect.”

“Respect? What about privacy? Is that on your list of needs?
How dare you read all my journals? I only gave you permission to read a select
few. Some of those are filled with my most private thoughts.”

“You used to read all your private thoughts to me.”

“I used to do a lot of things, but then I grew up. Did you
find anything interesting in my notes?”

“Yes.”

Her look was smug. “Really? And what pray tell was that?”

“You’re a spoiled, self-indulgent brat who’s gotten too big
for her britches.”

“How dare you!”

“I haven’t finished. Those britches I mentioned? They need
to be stripped from you so I can spank your ass until you can’t sit down. How
dare I? How dare you?”

When Rene got mad, really mad like he was now, his eye color
went from sherry-brown to dark chocolate and gleamed like high-polished glass.
His glare shimmered in the lamp light, but she ignored it. “I’ll do whatever
the hell I want to do. Maybe I should rummage through your things and invade
your privacy.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

Those words took her breath away and the domineering tone
that accompanied them got her heart racing. For a moment she’d almost dropped
to her knees and asked for forgiveness. Here again she found herself fighting
those inner demons. She wanted so much to have things the way they were before,
when he called all the shots. Where he made all the demands and ruled her with
an ease that was humbling, but there was no going back and it was entirely his
fault. She needed to concentrate on that. To gain strength from that anger and
use it now to hold her own against him. After all, there was a time when she
wasn’t always eager to surrender herself. She needed to remember that.

“My week with you starts tomorrow.”

“And exactly what do you have planned for our week together?
I’d like to know because you’ve started things off swimmingly.” She stormed over
to the window seat and scooped up her purse. “Kicking me out of our bedroom is
sure to win you points with me.”

She was halfway to the door when he stepped in front of her,
effectively blocking her from making what was to be her melodramatic exit. She would
have complained or at least pushed at his chest because he was crowding her,
but decided against it. He was huge. Dark. And the look on his face chilled her
to the bone. But his words? His words iced her to the marrow.

“I plan to make you beg, Alex.”

Was he trying to intimidate her? Screw that, there was no
trying about it. She was nervous as hell, but she didn’t want to show any
weakness and she knew if she looked away he’d take that as a win. “Don’t be
ridiculous. That’s not what Dr. Anderson had in mind when she gave us the
exercise.”

“Yeah, well, interpretation’s a bitch.”

He was serious. He— If he thought she was going to— “I’m not
going to beg you.”

“You will, but first let’s start with an apology, shall we?”
He crossed his arms over his chest and patiently waited.

Given the situation and how she was losing her edge in it,
she could have done or said any number of things, but his barely restrained
fury convinced her she should meet him halfway on this. After all, he did
deserve an apology for at least the one thing. “I-I apologize. Truly, I’m sorry
that I missed our anniversary dinner. I never would have gone if…” She caught
herself because there was no good end to that sentence.

“If you remembered?” he finished for her. Those eyes of his
were glistening to a sharp and hellish sparkle now. “Yeah, you said the words,
but did you mean them?”

“Mean them?” Of course she meant them. Even as mad as she
was she still felt awful about that part of it.

“In case you haven’t noticed, your
I’m sorry
carries
about as much weight as a lame packhorse in the Rockies.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s overused to the point of being useless.”

Her face flushed. She hated his brutal honesty. The kind of
honesty that usually cut deep and this was no exception. “That’s not true. I do
feel bad that I missed Thursday’s dinner. I swear.”

“Good.” He undid three buttons of his shirt, pausing in the
action of releasing the last one, and drawled, “Then I guess you won’t have any
problem proving it.”

Momentarily confused by his slow and easy tone, it wasn’t
until she spied the blazing fire lighting up his eyes that it occurred to her.
“I knew it. You want me to apologize by having sex with you.”

Damn, if she’d thought his tone was slow and easy, his
movements were more so. She held her breath as he popped the last button out of
its hole and grimly smiled. “You think I want you to apologize
just
for
standing me up Thursday night?”

“Of course, what else are we talking about? I left you a
note a-and I texted you twice.”

“Twice? Wow, how very considerate of you.”

“I thought so.”

“Don’t.” With his shirt untucked and hanging open, he
reached for her, hauling her up so her breasts crushed against his chest. He
curled over her, bending her back until they were nearly nose to nose. His breath
blew hot against her skin. “Don’t hide behind that damn sarcasm with me, baby.
Save it for your unruly clients or Michael.”

She shivered. There was something in his voice. In the way
he held her. A level of distant contempt, despite their close proximity, that
touched her deep and forced her to ask what she’d been too afraid to ask
before. “You want to separate, don’t you?”

He didn’t speak. He just searched her face. His jaw clenched
and unclenched as if he were chewing back the answer he wasn’t prepared to give
her. Until finally, when his eyes met hers, she saw the disappointment and the
pure, unadulterated sadness etching furrowed lines across his forehead. When
she spied them, a shiver of fear clawed upward, climbing from her belly to her
throat and threatening to choke the life out of her. Thank the good Lord he
still held her. If not, she knew she would have crumbled.

“No, Alex, that’s not what I want.”

Now she worried she’d wilt with relief. “What do you want?
More apologies?” That was greeted by silence so she added, “You said yourself
they’re useless.”

“Apologies? No. It’s too late for them. For one week you’re
mine, got it?” He gave her a little shake. “There are no excuses. No denials.
No breaking plans. No late nights working. You’re going to give me your total
submission in all things. All, Alex, with no exception. I want you to be honest
with your emotions without your intellect getting in the way. I expect this
from you until I have your trust. You owe me that much.”

He abruptly let her go and she stumbled back. Suddenly it
was clear to her. She’d punished him and now he wanted to punish her. Worse,
she’d even given him the means to do it to her.

“This isn’t fair. When I signed that relationship contract I
had no idea you wanted to take it to this kind of an extreme. I thought we
agreed. Never again.”

“That was your idea, not mine.”

“I didn’t think—”

“Maybe you should have. Maybe you should have asked. Maybe
you should have considered what you wanted from your week, the way I have been
imagining and planning what I want from you during mine.”

Someone needed to be the voice of reason here. “I don’t
think this is a good idea.”

He shrugged out of his shirt and tossed it on the bed. “I
don’t recall asking you for your opinion on the subject.”

She wanted to believe it was his tone that took her breath
away. But it could have been the sight of his torso. All hard and cut with
superbly defined muscles. Damn, one glance and she was lightheaded. “If-if I
say no?”

His look flayed her. “Then we may as well kiss our marriage
goodbye.”

That horrible sentence landed like a lightning bolt between
them. This was the first time Rene had ever brought up the possibility of the
two of them calling it quits. That made those words powerful. Lethal. Her pulse
sped and a familiar buzzing sounded in her ears. She recognized it for what it
was. Panic. This was it. Do or die. In or out. There was no question he meant
what he was saying, she knew him well enough to know that and knowing him as
well as she did, the only question that remained was, did she dare give him
that kind of control over her again?
Don’t be foolish. Don’t make the same
mistake. Don’t…