Reclaiming Lily (37 page)

“I must go.” Needing the safe haven of her hospital, Kai rose from the bench.

“Kai, wait!” Joy grabbed her arm. “I need to say something.”

“Should . . . should we leave?” Gloria asked.

“No!” Joy’s yell drew the attention of others nearby. “This is for y’all too! We’re family. Remember?”

I cannot argue with something I agreed to.
Finally Kai nodded and sat back down.

With a twirl, Joy spun away from Kai and plopped onto the lawn. Andrew and Gloria moved to stand by Joy. They smiled with such unabashed pride, Kai relaxed. Waited.

“Mommy, after you left, Dad and I had, like, a really good talk.” Joy plucked grass blades and tossed them in her lap. “When I was little, you know, it was easy for me to accept Jesus. I . . . I guess I never told y’all how He seemed like an action hero. After all . . . the orphanage stuff, I needed a hero. Then . . . the fire happened.” Huskiness added vulnerability to Joy’s voice. “I blamed y’all. I blamed God.”

“We should have been there for you,” Gloria whispered.

“You
were
there, Mother. Let me talk, okay?” Joy’s hand waving stopped. “Please, Mom,” she managed. Rudeness evaporated.

Kai tried not to notice the stares of passersby, surely entranced with a new daytime hospital drama.

Gloria nodded.

“Everything, like, blew up at school. I couldn’t handle people hating me just ’cause I was Asian or nerdy or freaky looking or, like, whatever.” The grass-plucking became frenzied. “I started hanging with the dark people, going to dark places.”

Though Kai’s gaze never wavered, she saw Joy in new angles. New hues. None of them included being a kidney donor.

“Then I, you know, got busted. Kai showed up. That tornado defied, like, the laws of nature to miss the jail.” Joy tilted back her head. The sun chose that moment to highlight that zany hair. Kai raised her chin.
If this one continues to mature, she will bring great honor to our family. She must mature.

“Not even to mention the aide position.” Joy continued her soliloquy. “This morning Mom and Dad told me the truth about your results instead of, like, trying to manipulate everything so
Joy
wouldn’t be disturbed.” Joy glanced at her parents, as if for confirmation, and took a deep breath. “That’s when I made my decision.”

Kai nodded halfheartedly, not liking this new direction.

“Like, last month, I might’ve called this fate. The stars. Karma.”

Kai squirmed on the bench.
Now it sounds like my old story.

“Not anymore. I always wanted to believe in God, even when I . . . thought I hated Him.” Joy’s palms flattened against the ground. She leaned back. “Now I do believe. It’s like my heart opened to the possibility that He would work through things . . . if I’ll get out of the way. That’s why I have to know your plan to fight PKD—our plan.” Joy zeroed in on Kai with an intensity that shuddered Kai’s soul.
This is not an easy one to dissuade once her mind is set. So I will leave while I am vulnerable to this idea of hers.

Kai made a show of checking her watch. “I must return to my patients.” She darted her eyes about, as if concerned that nearby workers might overhear. “Now is not the time or the place for such a discussion.”

“We’ve got to do it, Kai. Before we leave Boston.” Joy crossed her arms. “That’s tomorrow.”

Despite being in the open air, Kai found it difficult to breathe. Joy must not partner in this thing. Not now. Perhaps not ever. She, who had planned to sacrifice for Joy, was burdensome as a lame ox. The less Joy saw of her, the better.

“I have missed a great deal of work lately.” Kai stood and brushed off her lab coat. “This weekend, it would be best—”

Joy jumped to her feet. Blades of grass fluttered. “Best for whom?” With a
whoosh
, Joy crashed into Kai. Laid her head on Kai’s shoulder. “Please, Kai,” she sobbed. “Don’t shut me out.”

To now have Joy so near changed everything. She could no more ignore her flesh and blood than she could abandon a patient with a death rattle. She kissed Joy’s part line. “If it is permissible with your parents, I will meet you at the Common entrance at five thirty today. Remember where we started our Freedom Walk? You will have your say.”

They parted. After completing her rounds, Kai hailed a taxi and tried to pull her emotions together. The bay glittered with hope, but Kai could not shake the feeling that she had lost control—of her present and her future. She who had made a life of attaining goal after goal felt as powerless as the sailboats in the harbor, curving and fluttering at the whim of the wind.

The driver sped faster, faster, surely intent on dispensing with her and picking up a more profitable fare. Boats became white streaks, the water a blur of blue. Kai clung to the door handle, wishing
she
could dispense with this lose-lose dilemma. As a renal specialist, she had thrilled to uncover the mysteries of those amazing bean-shaped organs. She knew the ins and outs of their function. She knew the risk of infection, the odds of survival, in every documented kidney disease.

Her mind, her training, could not allow precious Fourth Daughter to undergo a transplant. Yet in her heart, her soul, she knew she couldn’t stop her sister from pursuing her passion.

Kai leaned back and let her thoughts wander. She was under the shade of a banyan, where she as a young girl had vowed to be a healer. As her memory unfolded, no one stepped forward to say “I forbid it.”

The cab screeched. Kai was jerked forward. She rubbed her eyes, as if she’d just awoken from a deep sleep.

“Can’t you hear me, ma’am? I ain’t got all day.”

Neither do I, sir. Neither do I.
With a tight smile, Kai topped off the fare with a generous tip and jumped out of the cab. Kai understood what to do to best handle her patients’ needs. But what about Joy’s needs? How should they be handled? At this moment, the answer eluded her. “God,” she prayed as she strolled past the rustling magnolias, “they say you perform miracles. I believe I have seen them.” She inhaled and begged the sweet magnolia scent to cleanse her troubled spirit. “Change Joy’s mind.” Heavy steps got her inside the atrium. “Or . . . change mine.”

26

A cab’s not the place for a meltdown,
Gloria told herself
.
The driver swerved around tour buses and screeched to a halt in front of their hotel. Andrew paid him. Gloria and Joy headed to the elevator bank. Gloria jabbed the button.
Neither is a hotel lobby. So cool it
.

“Are you gonna hold up for Dad?” It was classic Joy, an eyebrow peaked, her mouth quirked.
She gets it
.

Let him climb the stairs!
Gloria wanted to hiss . . . but didn’t. She smiled sweetly, said, “Certainly,” and prayed for guidance. This was fight number one in Parenting of Joy 102. She had to get it right.

Andrew joined them. They rode in silence to their floor. Entered their room. Gloria sat in the love seat, near her Bible and journal. A good place. Andrew fiddled with his cell and plopped into the chair by the table. Joy flopped on her bed and tossed a pillow. “Spit it out, Mom. Something’s wrong.”

She gets things Andrew’s clueless about
. Gloria glanced at her Bible.
God, help him “get it” without me “losing it.”

“I barely slept last night for worrying about Kai.”
Good. Go slow, girl
. “I so appreciate all she’s done for us . . . and for you, Joy. When you shared how God’s changing your life . . .” Unable to explain further, Gloria grabbed her journal and riffled through the pages. “This is full of prayers for you, Joy.”

Andrew had moved to sit by their daughter. Good. She’d sock it to both of them.

Joy darted glances between her parents. “So . . . it’s all good?”

The journal slapped shut. “There is one little thing.”

Andrew rubbed his chin in his philosophical pose. “What, dear?”

Gloria swallowed down her instinct to whine and imagined Kai dealing with this. “It hurt that y’all left me out of the chat about Joy’s future. Y’all had said you’d wait here for me and we’d all three talk to Kai. Later.”

Father and daughter exchanged “Who, us?” looks. In the past, Gloria would’ve burst into tears or backtracked. Not today. She dug her nails into her palms and waited.

“Like, it just came out so naturally . . .”

“Yeah, babe.” Andrew avoided her eyes. “Kinda an impulse.” Was he really getting it . . . or was he just afraid she’d erupt?

Gloria pushed aside her odd-mother-out feelings. This wasn’t about her. It was about communication, which they’d need in megadoses if Joy took the kidney donation path. “If we’re committing to this, we’ve gotta be on the same page. Like, communicate.”

Joy played catch with her pillow.
She’s nervous. Like I am.
“I’m . . . I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” Andrew put his arm around Joy. “We weren’t thinking.”

“Hey, no problem.” Gloria felt her eyes widen. She sounded like Joy!

“So you’re okay with it?”

Empowered by the lovely mix of respect and love on her daughter’s face, Gloria shrugged. “Hey, like, it’s cool. We’ll see where God takes us.”

Joy scrunched her nose. “
Moth
-er! You’re talking, like, so weird!”

It’s safe. Secure
. Kai felt in her pocket for the box she’d stowed in her locker during rounds.
A symbol of all I hope for Joy, who’s . . . right across the street!

Would she ever feel humdrum about Joy? She thrilled at the sight of her sister’s railroad cap, jeans jacket, pink shirt and tennis shoes. It was the same rush she used to feel when David entered the room. With effort, Kai pushed away thoughts of the heart doctor.

Andrew, Gloria, and Joy stood waiting by the Common’s wrought iron gates. Kai tripped across the street, and Joy rushed forward to give her a hug. “Thanks for coming!”

Kai willed away the urge to bury her face in Joy’s hair and cry in despair. Instead, she lifted her chin. “Are you ready to leave Boston?” she asked Joy’s parents.

Gloria rested her head on Andrew’s shoulder. “We love it here!”

Andrew nodded. “But it’s time to get home.” With arms draped about one another, the Powells resembled young marrieds on a weekend getaway. A pang of jealousy struck at their obvious contentment; Kai shoved it away.

“We’ve got one more thing to do.” Gloria laced her fingers with Andrew’s. “We hear you can’t come to Boston without seeing the bronze ducks. Taking your photo with them.”

“It’s a must!”
That’s what David once said, anyway.
David. Her cell phone. Kai swallowed hard. Oh, the memories. “They’re—they’re in the Public Garden, not here. Just cross St. Charles. The swan boats are there as well.”

Andrew pointed to the Common sign, several feet behind him. “How about we meet y’all back here in, say, an hour? I need photo proof of this trip for my deacons.”

They all chuckled, like family, though Kai did not understand the joke.

“If you want flowers,” Kai blurted, desperate to continue the community feeling, “there are tulips and redbuds.” A perfect backdrop for the all-American couple.

“See y’all later.” With silly waves, the Powells tripped toward St. Charles. Kai felt her tension release as she smiled at Joy’s eye rolls.

“They’re acting like teenagers,” Joy complained.

“You are fortunate that they love one another.”

Joy ducked her head. “I see that now. I see a lot of things.” On the strength of that admission, the sisters strolled into the Common. Beech and elms and maples trembled with new growth. Kai’s heart swelled to be showing off this city, her city, to Joy. Her sister. If only she could freeze this moment and suspend talk forever of the other thing. . . .

In a spontaneous way, Joy linked her arm with Kai’s and lengthened her stride until the two matched each other’s gaits. Kai closed her eyes and thought of the God whom she had heard so much about lately.
Thank you for this time with Joy. Somehow, some way, you are responsible. Thank you.

Joy broke from Kai, headed toward a bench shaded by a majestic maple tree, and sat down. Sorry that their easy, natural rhythms had been broken, Kai did the same.

Silence—and the looming presence of PKD—began to swallow nature’s beat. Kai’s chest tightened. Her hands fell into her lap. “You wanted to discuss something.”

“Uh, yeah.”
She, too, longs to reclaim our rhythm.
“I’ve read up on PKD. That file you gave my parents, stuff at the hospital.”

Kai couldn’t help but smile at the fire in Joy’s eyes.
If this one’s drive and energy is harnessed for healing, the enemy diseases will tremble with fear.

“It’s awful!” Joy shook her fists, as if PKD were walking by instead of a young mother strolling with her child. “When all they can do is dialysis or transplant . . .”

Kai nodded. “That is what we are reduced to at present. Things will change. They must.”

Joy pursed her lips in her stubborn pose. “Until that change, I’m doing the genetic matching. They have a transplant unit in Dallas.”