Red Dirt Heart 3 (30 page)

I ignored how everyone laughed. “I’m covered in cow shit and afterbirth,” I said. “Same as you.”

As much as he wanted to stay and talk with everyone, Travis was just about dead on his feet. “I hope y’all don’t think I’m rude, but I need a hot shower and a few hours’ sleep. I haven’t slept in—” He looked at his watch. “—well, shit. What day is it?”

“Mmm, shower,” I said, not really meaning to say it out loud, but Travis mentioned it and my mind went straight to very-naked very-wet Travis. He still had his arm around me, so I pushed us toward the house.

“Charlie,” Ma hissed. She shot me a glare that said “we have guests, Charlie, where are your manners?”

I replied with a shameless but-I-haven’t-seen-him-in-so-long look. She trumped me with her don’t-make-me-come-over-there eyebrow.

Travis laughed and took his arm from around me. “I’ll go first, then, shall I?”

He went and showered—without me—and I brought his bag inside. All the staff went back about their jobs, but me, Ma, Sam, Ainsley and Laura went into the lounge room.

“Well, you look a lot happier,” Laura said with a smile.

“Oh, man, I had no idea,” I said, shaking my head. I hadn’t stopped smiling yet.

Ma made an odd meep sound. “George told me this morning,” she said. “I wanted to tell you so bad, but George made me promise.”

“You knew?”

“Well, Travis called from Darwin this morning, said his flight was getting in to Alice…” Her words ran out of steam. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, Charlie. You knew about Trudy and Bacon having a baby and didn’t say anything.”

“But that was different.”

“Not really.”

“Yes, really.”

“What are you two fighting about now?” Travis said, walking out all clean smelling with still wet hair. He collected Nugget from the bed box he’d made and gave the little guy a hug. “Boy, you’ve gotten heavier.” He looked even more tired now.

“You need some sleep,” I told him.

He nodded and apologised again for seeming rude, but he could barely keep his eyes open.

“Charlie, can I show you something first?” he said.

“Boys,” Ma admonished us again.

“In the office,” Travis said with a smile. “Not the bedroom.”

The others laughed, and I followed him into my office, wondering what it was he wanted to show me.

“I didn’t want to go to sleep yet,” he’d said. “Not until you’d seen this.” He asked for my laptop and said he hoped I’d understand.

I sat in the desk seat, and he knelt beside me. Holding Nugget under one arm, he logged out of my email, logged in to his own and turned the screen to me. All I could see was emails from me and some airplane flight confirmations. I shook my head. “I don’t know what I’m looking for.”

“Look at the draft folder,” he said. “Open it.”

There was one email in the draft folder. It was an unsent email to me.

Charlie,

Sorry I’ve been so absent. There’s been a lot of family here for the funeral and the house has been so busy. Please know that I’ve read every email and each one has been the highlight of my day.

I miss you like crazy.

We’re heading out to the lake tomorrow. My mom wants the whole family to go because it’ll be the last time we’re all in the one place for a while. There’s no internet. I’ll be gone a whole week, but when I get back, I’m coming straight home.

I need you to promise me, Charlie, that you believe I’m coming home. I know you, and I know you’ll be thinking the worst, but I promise you, I’m coming home.

You’re my home, Charlie. Not here, not Texas, not even Sutton Station. You.

Just one more week, and I’ll be with you.

I love you. I even miss Nugget, can you believe that?

See you soon,

T

I read it. Then I read it again.

“Look at the date,” he whispered. It was the day after he sent me that one-line, two-sentence email. “I thought I hit Send. I could have sworn I did. But when I got back, I read your emails, and the last one… the ‘if this is your goodbye’ email… then I realised this was still in the draft folder. You hadn’t read it. You didn’t know I was away and had no internet, and you must have thought I was ignoring you.” He shook his head. “Jesus, Charlie. Your email broke my heart.”

“I thought you went home and realised that’s where you were supposed to be.”

He held my face and searched my eyes. “You have to stop thinking I’m gonna leave you. You’re it for me, Charlie. Forever.”

“I just thought—”

“I know what you thought,” he said softly. He spun my office chair so he was kneeling in front of me and took my hands. “Charlie, I won’t lie to you. My mom wanted me to stay. She thought that maybe since I was back, she could convince me to stay. I told her where my heart was, and… She didn’t mean anything by it, Charlie. She just wanted her son home, ya know?

“But then when we got back from the lake house and I found your email…” He shook his head. “It wrecked me, Charlie. You have no idea. She started packing my things, and she drove me to the airport herself. I could have waited half a day to get a more direct flight, but she said I couldn’t wait. I had to get back to you. So I’ve been on a plane for thirty-something hours, Charlie.” He squeezed my hands and looked up at me with tears in his tired, tired eyes. “Please tell me you don’t think I was leaving you.”

I shook my head. “I believe you.”

“Do you? Do you finally believe me? Are you gonna stop wondering when I’m gonna get sick of you and walk away? Because I’m telling you, Charlie, it ain’t ever gonna happen.”

I leaned forward and kissed him. “I believe you.”

He sighed like a weight was finally,
finally
lifted. “You said you realised you could survive without me,” he said with a teary frown. “Well, guess what I realised? I’m not as strong as that, because I can’t live without you.”

I pulled him up to his feet then and pulled him hard against me, kinda squishing Nugget between us. “I said I
could
do this without you. I didn’t say I did it well,” I told him, and he chuckled into my neck. “I don’t want to do this without you.”

I held him just like that until he swayed in my arms, so I took Nugget from him and led him to bed. I pulled back the covers and tucked him in. He was already half-asleep when I kissed him softly.

“Just need to sleep a minute,” he mumbled.

“I won’t be far away,” I told him, but I think he was already asleep.

I checked on him a few times over the afternoon, and he’d barely even moved. He’d wrapped himself around my pillow, which was kinda sweet until I realised he was also drooling on my pillow, and then I decided to make that one
his
pillow.

Laura, Sam and Ainsley had decided not to go home until the morning. They wanted to stay a little while longer, and the truth was, I wanted them to meet Travis properly. I wanted them to know him, and I wanted Travis to get to know Sam. I wanted Travis to see that Laura wasn’t such a bad person.

They spent the afternoon riding the dirt bikes, Ainsley learned how to ride the quad runner, and George took them each up for a scenic chopper tour. They helped feed the poddy calves, and we had a BBQ dinner.

And Travis never stirred.

“If he’d been awake for almost thirty hours,” Laura said, “then he probably won’t wake ’til the morning.”

I might have pouted.

They all might have tried not to smile.

I left it as late as what was polite—at least the sun had gone down—and I told them goodnight. “I, um, I’m really tired,” I said. Travis was right: I really sucked at lying. “I, ah… yeah, it’s late.”

Bacon looked at his watch. “It’s seven thirty.”

I cleared my throat and shot him a shut-the-hell-up look. “Nugget’s been fed,” I told anyone who cared and took the back stairs two at a time.

“Don’t you wake him,” Ma called out, but I was already inside.

I heard Trudy’s voice next. “He’s so gonna wake him.” Then everyone laughed.

But I didn’t have to wake him. I simply stripped off and slid into bed next to him. Like a magnet, he snuggled in to me, then draped himself over me, then mumbled my name and kinda woke himself up. “Tell me I’m not dreaming,” he murmured.

“You’re not dreaming,” I whispered.

And that was all it took.

Almost four weeks of no touching, no kissing, no anything was just too damn long. I got him out of his slept-in clothes, and he got me on my back. His hands were all over me, urgent and wanton, his mouth, his tongue. He kissed me like he’d never kissed me, rough and pleading. He slid his arms underneath me and held me so
so
tight, and he rolled his hips into mine, our hard cocks rubbing together, and he bucked once, twice, and groaned low and convulsed as he came.

I followed just moments after him, and he never moved despite the mess between us.

He simply leaned his forehead against mine with his eyes closed for a breath-catchin’ minute. His eyes were still closed, and he whispered, “Promise me forever, Charlie. Tell me we’re in this forever.”

My heart near burst out of my chest. “Forever.”

Then he did my most favourite thing in the world. He nudged his nose to mine. “Make love to me, Charlie,” he murmured. “Show me how much you love me.” He kissed me then and trailed his lips down my jaw so he could whisper warm and husky in my ear. “I need you inside me.”

I rolled us over and pinned his hands above his head. I gave him everything he wanted, needed, begged for. I spent every lovemakin’ minute of the next few hours goin’ over every inch of his skin. By the time we were done, he was so spent and pliable, well-loved and certain—he’d never been more certain—of just how much I loved him.

* * * *

When I woke up, Travis was gone. I wondered for just a second if I’d dreamed him coming home, but the ache in my muscles told me otherwise.

His clothes and shit all over the floor told me otherwise too. It was early. The sun hadn’t even thought about gettin’ up, but there was enough light for me to see his half-unpacked bag strewn across the room.

It made me smile.

I never once, not ever, thought I’d be happy to see his mess on the floor.

I pulled on some pants and went looking for him. I only got to the hall when I heard him talking. He and Laura were deep in conversation, and I briefly considered turning around when I heard my name.

“Charlie’s happy you’re here,” Travis said quietly. “And Sam.”

“He’s been really good about everything,” Laura said. “He could have said no to us and no one would have blamed him. He could have told me to turn around and leave that first day, but he didn’t. I’m so grateful.”

“I was probably a bit rude,” Trav said. “Sorry about that.”

Laura laughed quietly. “Oh, please don’t apologise. You’re protective of him, and I’m glad he has someone on his side.”

“He has a lot of people on his side. The folks here a wild and crazy bunch of people, but they’re his family.”

“And you. He has you.”

“He certainly does.”

“I don’t think he coped too well without you gone,” Laura said. “Ma said he’s been miserable.”

Trav snorted. “Well, I don’t think he’ll have to worry about me leaving him again anytime soon.”

I smiled at that.

“Not going home again?” Laura asked.

Travis’s answer was so immediate and definitive, it caught my breath. “I am home.”

I moved then, walking out through the foyer and into the lounge room. Laura was on the recliner next to fire feeding a too-damned-spoiled wombat, and Trav was at one end of the three-seater. I threw myself beside him, leaned my back against his side, and pulled his arm around me. “Wondered where you went,” I said.

Trav pulled the blanket on the back of the lounge over the both of us. “I’m all slept out.”

“Morning, Laura,” I said with a smile.

“Morning, Charlie,” she replied.

By this time, Nugget had well and truly heard my voice and had obviously fussed until Laura put him down on the floor. “Righteo, righteo” she said. “There you go.”

The little guy ran over to us and grunted and squeaked until I picked him up and put him on the sofa with us. Laura got up and handed Rumble Bear to me with a smile. “I’ll go put the kettle back on.”

Trav sighed and tightened his arm around me, and the three of us lay on the sofa looking out the window as a new day started over the desert. He kissed the side of my head and whispered something about perfect and forever.

Sounded about right to me.

Life over the last five months had pretty much gone back to normal. Well, as normal as they were ever gonna get with Travis. Busy. That’s what my life was. Busy as hell. And I’d never been happier.

Days off were rare, and days spent alone with Travis in the desert were rarer still, so we took the chopper and a picnic lunch to the lagoon, and we took our sweet time.

Summer had returned in all its blistering glory, and Trav and I spent the day alternatin’ between swimming, makin’ out, and snoozin’ in the shade.

It was pretty damn close to perfect.

But we couldn’t put off headin’ home forever, and as the afternoon crept on, we packed up our things and walked back to the chopper.

I was used to him being here now. So used to him just fitting in, being a part of Sutton Station, and very used to him being with me. He’d been here a year today. Just one year. It felt like both a lifetime, and a blink of the eye. It was one year ago this very day that I first saw him in my kitchen.

As we walked back to the chopper, I guessed it was time. Instead of walking around to my side—the pilot’s side—I walked right next to him to the passenger side. Before he could ask me what I was doing, I pushed him against the chopper and kissed him. His surprise gave way to kissing me back and he pulled me against him.

When I slowed the kiss, he rested his forehead on mine and nudged my nose with his, his eyes half-closed. “What was that for?” he asked.

“Happy anniversary,” I said, pecking his lips again.

He smiled widely. “You’re such a sap.”