Red Hats (16 page)

“No!” she yelled up to him.

Jesse nodded yes. “It’s your fault, Momma,” he said, before repeating the death wish.

This happened three times, and then suddenly, a little boy holding a shiny horn appeared next to Alma.

“What’s he doing?” he asked her innocently.

“He’s gambling, baby,” she replied, looking down. Then Alma heard the gun go off.
Pow!
She looked to see Jesse fall to the ground at her feet. The little boy disappeared as Alma went to Jesse’s aid. She held her son as the life force left his body. She ordered her brain to let her wake up. In her mind, she was aware that it was only a dream, but as she woke from what felt like a drug-induced coma, there were tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Are you all right, Alma?” Dee asked.

Alma saw that all of the women in the van were staring at her. She wiped the tears from her face. “I’m fine. Had a bad dream, that’s all.”

The rest of the ride was the longest and most uncomfortable trip of Alma’s life. Boy, she couldn’t wait to get home.

God, make this bad feeling go away,
Alma said in a silent prayer.

As they pulled up to the brownstone, Alma saw James sitting on his stoop, holding a small bouquet of flowers.

Thank you, Jesus,
Alma thought as she returned James’s wave.

He waited patiently as the Red Hats said their good-byes. When the last of them had pulled away in the taxi, James made his way over to Alma and Dee.

“Hello, my sweet,” James said after planting a quick, soft kiss on Alma’s lips. “These are for you.”

“Thank you,” she said, sniffing the small bouquet of delicate pink and purple carnations, asters, and Monte Cassinos.

Dee watched them get lost in each other’s gaze for a moment. “If you can pull yourselves away from the forces of nature for just one moment and help me get into the building, I would certainly appreciate it.”

“I’m sorry, Sister Dee,” James said as he grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and pushed her up the building’s
ramp without taking his eyes off Alma’s. They held hands behind Dee as they rode up the tiny elevator. As the door opened, Alma’s heart dropped. Jesse was standing there, sweating like the crack fiend he’d become.

“Momma? I need help, Momma. Please help me. I just need a few dollars. I know you said to stay away from you, but I’m really doin’ bad right now. Please!” Jesse begged.

“Boy, if you don’t get your behind out of here this instant, I will hurt you. Do you hear me?”

“I’m doing bad, Momma. They threw me out of my place because they said I stole some stuff from my neighbor. I didn’t take it, Momma. I didn’t even know he had a flat-screen. They’re lying on me.”

“You are embarrassing me. Go on, Get out of here! Now, Jesse!” Alma yelled.

“Where am I supposed to go, huh? You think it’s just that easy? You’re my mother. You’re supposed to take care of me.”

Jesse slid down the wall and began to cry. Alma did the same, except she stood over him.

“Do you mind if I talk to him?” James asked.

“Just tell him to go. I don’t want to see him like that.”

James nodded. Dee took out her house keys and opened the apartment door. Alma followed her inside.

James slid down the wall next to Jesse.

“She hates me!” Jesse cried.

“No mother hates her child, son.”

“Why does she treat me like this?”

“Maybe she’s disappointed by some of the choices you’ve made.”

“Who are you? Her boyfriend or something?”

“I’m her man friend. Maybe I can be your friend, too.”

“Can you loan me some money, friend?”

“No, but I have a few things you can do around my house to earn a few bucks.”

“Like what?”

“Let’s take a walk and talk about it.” James helped Jesse to his feet. “James,” he said, extending his hand. “What’s your name, young man?”

“Jesse.”

Alma watched through the peephole as James escorted Jesse into the elevator. She turned to see Dee crying quietly behind her.

“Pathetic, isn’t it?” Alma said.

“He needs help, Alma.”

“He needs God’s help.”

“That, too. But he really needs drug counseling. I know someone good. She’s a Red Hat. Very discreet.”

“Dee, please don’t get in my business. I’ll ask for help when I need it,” Alma said as she walked into her bedroom and closed the door.

James and Alma
sat holding hands in silence, staring at the dirty brown river that rippled in front of them. She’d
agreed to take a cab ride with him to what he had named their spot by the water. The place they kissed for the first time. As Alma leaned against his shoulder, she wished that he would kiss her to take the burning thoughts of failure out of her mind.

“What did he say to you?” she asked.

“I can’t tell you what he said.”

“Why not? He’s my son.”

“If I did, he would never trust me again, and then the dysfunction could only continue. What I can offer you both is a different perspective.”

Alma lifted her head from his shoulder and squinted her eyes at him.

“Why are you looking at me like that? I’m just trying to be a friend to both of you.”

She softened her glare as she saw the truth of his intentions in his eyes. “I don’t know what to do. He needs to get his life together.”

James was silent. Alma watched his mind drift to a sad place. “Did you check out on me?” she asked.

“I’m sorry. I was thinking about my oldest brother who passed away years ago. He was a heroin addict and the shame of my parents. Used to come by the neighborhood and get harassed by the kids who threw rocks and bottles at him while he nodded out on the corners. They didn’t know that he was my hero. They didn’t care that he was an amazing mathematician. He could break down quantum physics so that a second-grader could understand it. He
was a brilliant man in so many ways, but he had a broken heart that he tried to fix with drugs. I always thought it was just a phase he was going through and that his intelligence would overrule his addiction. I believed in my soul of souls that he would wake up one day and say, ‘OK, let me get it together.’ So I didn’t do anything to help him. That’s my greatest regret in life. I didn’t do anything. I left it to him to fix him. What I learned is that people can’t do it alone. We need the love and support of those who say they love and support us.”

“You don’t understand.”

“I don’t want to understand. That takes too long. I want to help, because I like seeing you happy. That makes me happy, so I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. Life’s problems are simple to fix. We complicate them with our own insecurities and fears. If you let me, I will help you through this.”

“I’ll think about it.”

James kissed her forehead, then wrapped his arms around her as she melted into his chest.

Several weeks later, Alma found
herself in a foul mood. The thought of Jesse showing up at Dee’s house was so devastatingly embarrassing, especially with James at her side. Alma used her negative energy to clean up the house. Thus far, the floors were washed and polished with liquid wax, the chandelier in the entryway was dusted, the bathroom was so clean you could perform surgery in it, and all of the antiques were sparkling after being dipped in Tarn-X. She wished the place were bigger, wanting to do more cleaning. She thought about emptying the closets and rearranging the contents but dismissed that, thinking Dee would probably feel she was snooping. That’s what she would have concluded, so she let them be.

“Who does he think he is?” Alma said out loud to no one.

Dee had been picked up by Kelly and her grandchild to go have a play date at the amusement center by the piers. Alma declined to tag along, saying that it was better for them to have some quality time as family. Alma also knew that Kelly was definitely not a fan of hers, being as this was the second time Alma had threatened her life to get this play date on the books.

The hard knock at the front door startled Alma. She immediately thought Jesse had returned. She grabbed a frying pan to give him something to remember her by.

“I told you to stay away from me, didn’t I?” Alma said, lifting the pot over her head.

She was shocked to see Joy on the other side of the door. Joy screamed for mercy.

“I’m sorry, Alma!” Joy said, weakly lifting her arm to protect her skull. “I need help. Is Sister Dee here?”

Alma lowered the pan to her side, noticing the infirm look in Joy’s eyes. “I thought you were someone else. What’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t know,” Joy said, falling into Alma’s arms. “I feel very sick.”

Alma helped Joy into the living room, setting her gently on the couch.

“My God, you are burning up. How long have you been like this?”

“Two days. I don’t know what is wrong with me.”

“Well, we are going to find out,” Alma said, picking up the phone.

“You don’t have to do this,” Joy said weakly.

“Oh, hush up. Just because I don’t like you don’t mean I don’t have to take care of you. Now, lay back and let me call this hospital before you change my mind.”

“You are something else,” Joy said just before she passed out on the couch.

The ambulance came quickly. Alma was grateful that Dee lived in such a nice neighborhood.

James was watching from his window as the medics hoisted Joy into the back of the emergency vehicle. Alma signaled to him not to come down with a slight shake of her head. She liked how they communicated in silence. She was instantly upset with herself for being so distant from him the past few days. Now, she missed him and wished that the Joy factor wasn’t present so he could ride along with them to the hospital.

Alma called Dee, who promised to rally the troops and meet them at the hospital. By the time the paperwork was filled out, seven Red Hats were there with flowers, balloons, and loving support. Alma was impressed most by Stacy’s presence.

“Hello, honey. You sure are pretty,” Stacy said to Alma, giving her a wink and a smile at their inside joke.

“What are you doing here?” Alma asked Stacy.

“I’m a lot like you, Alma. My bark is worse than my bite. I always try to do the right thing. At my age, I’ll never
know when it may be me lying up in that hospital room. I don’t want to be alone. Besides, the good Lord says that when you return kindness for evil, it’s like heaping fiery coals upon that person’s head. Plus the fact that Dee told me that you were bringing Joy to the hospital, and I thought to myself it sure would be nice to see you again.”

Alma gave her a hug. “Aww, that’s so sweet.”

Five hours later,
a doctor approached the noisy and crowded waiting room. It felt like a wedding reception with all of the Red Hats seated and standing around chatting. Several women showed up with food and fresh coffee, understanding that the dispenser in the hospital was sure to make even the strongest of stomachs sick.

“Which one of you ladies is Alma?” the short bespectacled doctor asked.

“I am.”

“May I speak with you in private, please?”

“We’re sisters. We have no secrets,” Magdalena snapped.

“Sorry, I’m just following the request of the patient, Miss. No offense,” the doctor politely replied.

He escorted Alma down the hallway and into an empty room.

“What’s wrong with her, Doctor?”

“Mrs. Pryor has contracted hepatitis C and a mild case of gonococcus.”

“What’s gonococcus?”

“It’s commonly known as gonorrhea. Which can be treated with cephalosporin or quinalone. However, the hepatitis’s severity is determined by her lifestyle. The disease attacks the liver, so modifying her diet and avoiding foods that tax the liver excessively are critical. She has to exercise regularly, abstain from alcohol, and avoid anal sex and multiple partners.”

“Hold on, Doctor. This is way too much information for me to handle. I barely know this woman,” Alma said.

“That’s strange . . . she said you were the only woman she trusted,” the doctor replied. “However, if you would like, I can give you a list of things that she must practice and avoid in order to have a productive life. This is a very serious disease if taken lightly. Have a nice day.” He walked away as if he were a mechanic talking about an old car engine.

Alma felt sorry for Joy as she sat in the room with her. The tubes of liquids snaking their way into her veins made her look like a science project.

“Alma?”

“Yes, Joy, I’m here.”

“Please don’t tell the girls about my condition,” Joy begged.

“Your business is your business as far as I’m concerned. If you don’t tell them, they won’t hear it from me.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“I feel so bad,” Joy said as tears rolled down her face onto the pillow propping up her head.

“They gave you antibiotics. You should be feeling better in a few days.”

“No, I feel bad about how I’ve treated you. I guess I’m just jealous. I felt it the day we found you laying there in that gorgeous red dress with all those pretty flowers surrounding you. I swear you looked like something out of a fairy tale. So beautiful, and even though there was a cut on your head, you looked confident, like royalty. It was obvious that it was your choice to leave this world. Everybody wishes they were more like you. We talk about it all the time.”

“Why would anyone want to be like me?” Alma asked.

“Because we know you don’t need us. You don’t need anyone. You’re not afraid like the rest of us.”

“That’s not true,” Alma confessed after a brief moment of reflection. “I’m just as afraid and insecure as the next woman. Maybe I don’t let it show as much, but trust me, God, I’m scared to death every day I wake up. But I ask myself, ‘Alma, is today the day you throw in the towel, or are you ready to fight to enjoy this day?’ That’s what you need to do, Joy. You have a hard fight ahead of you.”

“I know.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.”

Knowing the security that came with that commitment, Joy smiled, then reached out, and Alma slowly took her hand. “Thank you,” Joy said.

*   *   *

Alma sat at
the kitchen table, thinking about poor Joy and the recompense of her actions. Her life changed in a night of lust. Had it been true love, it still wouldn’t be worth the consequences. Depression, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, insomnia, itching, rashes, stomach upsets, headaches, fevers, and body ache were all symptoms of the disease. Joy was experiencing them all. Alma wished she didn’t have to keep this secret, especially since Joy needed so much care while she recovered. Her life would never be the same, although the doctor promised the infection would subside after seven days of the ten-day antibiotic cycle.