Red Hot Touch (13 page)

Don’t Get Too Caught Up in Doing It “Right”

Can’t quite get the knack of that finger wiggle technique? Don’t sweat it. Focus to a fault, and you will be distracted from your ultimate goal, which is to make sure
she’s
having fun. And we mean
all
of her, not just that small patch between her legs. To maintain intimacy levels, tear your eyes away from the prize occasionally and engage in some cuddling above the belt. Do that and chances are she won’t care if your execution of some of our maneuvers isn’t perfect. In fact, she may like your version better since it comes from her favorite person: you.

Found a Technique She Loves? Great—Now Move On

Congratulations, you’ve discovered that Bowing the Violin gets her reeling in ecstasy. Take note, then go try something else. While a woman’s anatomy is often so tricky it’s tempting to stick with what works, setting Bowing the Violin on repeat won’t exactly impress. The genitals crave variety, and given all the techniques there are to explore in this book, you might be surprised to find before the evening is done that there are many others she adores. And even if nothing lights her fire quite like Bowing, you’ll have fun trying, and you can always turn back to your old reliable any time to bring on orgasmic bliss.

Make Sure She Breathes Deeply

When arousal builds, many women react by tensing their bodies and holding their breath. This impulse actually holds women back. Not only is breathing important in helping your partner relax and really let go, but when the body is excited, nerve endings need oxygen—lots of it—to process pleasurable sensations. So make sure she’s inhaling and exhaling deep into her belly. This will shuttle more oxygen-rich blood into her pelvis, and make your every hands-on move feel even more amazing.

Don’t Call It Quits After One Climax

Women’s genitals are blessed with a short refractory period, which means that even if she’s just had an orgasm, she can turn right around and have another … and another. Since that’s the case, why stop at just one? After laying off on all stimulation for a few seconds to let her recover from Big O #1, start warming her up again. Most women may be sensitive at this point, so start off with light strokes or move to a less-trafficked erogenous zone like her labia or her nipples before you transition to more intense, tried-and-true orgasm-inducing techniques. Remind her to breathe deeply and ask her for direction on what she’d like you to do, and you may both be surprised how quickly Big O #2, #3, and more arrive on the scene.

Don’t Freak If She Doesn’t Reach Her Peak

Sometimes, no matter what you do, an orgasm just isn’t in the cards. And while determination pays off in many areas of life from landing a promotion to completing a 5K race, with orgasms the opposite is true: Sometimes, the harder you try, the more elusive they become. We’re not saying you should call it quits after five minutes, but if
you’ve been going at it for a while and have a hunch you’ve reached a sexual stalemate, ask her if there’s anything you could do to turn things around. She may have some ideas, or she may just tell you to throw in the towel. Whatever the case, don’t beat yourself up about it. Remember that orgasm or no, most women find physical intimacy rewarding in its own right.

Ease Out of Sex Slowly

Whether you’ve whipped up a triple-whammy orgasm extravaganza or things culminated on a less climactic note, what you do during the dénouement is important, too. After sex a woman’s body starts producing a chemical called oxytocin—nicknamed the “cuddle chemical” since it prompts women to do just that. Given her mental state, probably the
worst
thing you could do at this point is to abruptly withdraw, roll over, and call it a night. Instead maintain the connection by wrapping your arms around her, or holding hands, or cupping your palm over her vulva. Say something sweet like “you’re amazing” or, if that’s too over the top given the circumstances, comment on the experience itself by saying, “That was amazing,” or even a simple “Wow” will suffice. We’re not saying you need to stay entwined in each other’s arms all night if that’s not your cup of tea, but as far as we’re concerned, a little postcoital contact adds the perfect finishing touch.

MANUAL MOVES THAT WILL
ROCK HER WORLD

P
repare to knock your lady’s knickers off. In this chapter we’re going to open your eyes to all the amazing things your hands can do that may whip her into a hair-wrenching, sheet-drenching frenzy. Whether the woman you’re with has trouble reaching her peak or just wants longer, stronger, or just plain more
Oh-my-god
moments, this bag of tricks has all your bases covered. In fact, given the constellation of trigger points she’s got below the belt, there are actually
more
techniques to try on a woman’s anatomy than on a man’s (sorry, fellahs, them’s the breaks).

What’s more, it bears repeating that you can use these techniques not only during foreplay but also
during
intercourse, oral sex, and other mattress antics that you’ve come to love. Learn how to weave your handiwork into every facet of your sex life (we’ll show you how in
chapter 10
), and don’t be surprised if you see her libido skyrocket. Because the truth is, given that the layout of a woman’s nether
regions is far from straightforward, using your hands isn’t just a nice touch, it’s a
necessity.
Learn how to use them to their full potential, and you will unleash
her
full potential to adore and crave sex. Think that sounds worth the effort? Try a few of these tricks then watch what happens.

VULVA YOGA

Best without lubrication

While many think that the only way to handle a woman’s privates is to rub them, that’s not the half of it—and here’s a great way to start expanding your horizons. Using both hands, squeeze the sides of her outer labia (the fleshy areas to each side of her vagina) between thumb and forefinger and gradually stretch them toward her feet. This technique tends to frighten people at first and make them wonder
Can I really do that?
We can confidently say that on some women you can pull pretty darn hard (although you’ll want to check in with her to make sure it’s not
too
much).

Chances are she’s never had her vulva stretched before, so not only do you have the element of surprise on your side, but the sensation feels wonderful—relaxing, invigorating, and a little racy all at once (plus it boosts blood flow to the area, which will further increase sensitivity). If a downward pull gets rave reviews, try pulling the outer labia up, to the sides, or stretching one up and one down.

THE WAVE

Fine with or without lubrication

This one starts simple: Cup the entire vulva with your hand, with the heel of your palm resting on the mons (where her pubic bone is) and your fingers extending southward over the inner and outer labia. In
itself, cupping the vulva can feel very comforting, and can be a sweet way to start or end any sex session. That said, what you’re about to do next will amp things up.

Remember back in the eighties when a dance move called The Wave was all the rage? Even if that was before your time, we’re sure you can imagine what it looks like: Still cupping the vulva, start undulating your hand, pressing first on the mons with the heel of your hand, then the clitoris with the upper palm, then the labia with your fingers, and so on, over and over. While a woman might at first wonder what the heck you’re doing, she’ll soon change her tune once she feels the effects, which can fire up the entire region—mons, clitoris, labia, vagina—in one fell swoop.

LITTLE EARTHQUAKE

Fine with or without lubrication

Rest the heel of your hand an inch or so above her pubic bone so that your curled fingers rest comfortably on the crest of her mons pubis. Then start tapping or drumming your fingers lightly on the area. This will send reverberations throughout the vulva and even wake up nerve endings underneath the skin. All in all, it’s a great way to get the entire area buzzing.

SHAKEN NOT STIRRED

Fine with or without lubrication

Cup your hand over the vulva as you did with The Wave. Only this time press down firmly and jiggle your hand, as well as everything underneath it. Do this fast enough, and the effects may feel similar to that of a vibrator and trigger some pretty sexy results.

BOWING THE VIOLIN

Best with lots of lubrication

There are a variety of ways to touch a woman’s clitoris, and this one is a show stopper. Treat your index or middle finger like the bow of a violin, sliding the entire front side of the finger over the clitoris from tip to base. You can glide so lightly that you’re barely touching, or add more pressure for more of a climactic crescendo.

ROCK AROUND THE CLIT

Best with lots of lubrication

We don’t need to tell you that the clitoris is extremely sensitive, but what you might
not
know is that certain parts are more sensitive than others. To find your partner’s own personal sweet spot, envision a tiny clock face on top of the clitoris, then rub on the hour, every hour. This can be tough since the area is small, but allow yourself to enjoy the time it takes to be precise. And if you closely gauge her reaction at each stop, you may come away knowing exactly what “time” you should tend to most. Strange, but true: Two o’clock seems to be the most popular Happy Hour among women. We don’t know why, but it has proven true in almost every class we teach.

JILLING OFF

Best with lots of lubrication

While people generally think of “jacking off” solely as a man’s prerogative, the clitoris, while small, does have a shaft—and with some finesse it can be stroked in a similar way. To find the shaft, push up on the mons to expose the clitoris, then start feeling around for a firm stalk extending beneath the pink nub of the clitoral head. Once you’ve located the shaft, gently pinch it between thumb and forefinger and
massage this tiny clit boner up and down. Keep in mind, every millimeter you move hits thousands of nerve endings, so even if your actions seem almost microscopic, you’ll still trigger hair-raising results.

JILLING OFF

KNUCKLE SANDWICH

Best with lots of lubrication

If you’ve mastered Jilling Off and can easily locate the shaft of the clitoris, try this alternative: Pinch the shaft between the knuckles of your index and middle finger, then stroke up and down so that the sides of your knuckles are rubbing the shaft of the clitoris. Try experimenting with different speeds and pressures.

TUNING IN

Best with lots of lubrication

This technique also requires that you locate the clitoral shaft (for more details, see Jilling Off). Gently squeeze the shaft between thumb and forefinger as in Jilling Off, only rather than stroking up and down, rotate your fingers back and forth as if you were adjusting a dial. This will stimulate the shaft in a sideways direction versus up and down; this technique is often even easier to accomplish than Jilling Off, especially if her clitoris is small.

RINGING THE DOORBELL

Fine with or without lubrication

Using the pad of your thumb, press firmly against the head of the clitoris and hold for a count of four. Then release your thumb quickly and repeat. This technique won’t stimulate the head of the clitoris so much as it will turn on the shaft, which will be forced to contract under the pressure—you might even feel it dance under your thumb as it resists. By releasing your touch quickly, you bring blood rushing back into the area and make this little love button spring back to life, stronger and more sensitive than ever.

KNOCKING ON HEAVEN’S DOOR