Red Hot Touch (2 page)

Let’s face it: We could all stand to get a little closer to the people we love. And our hands may very well be the ticket.

GET YOUR HANDS IN SHAPE

I started out to be a sex fiend, but I couldn’t pass the physical.

—ROBERT MITCHUM

F
irst things first: Let’s get your hands ready for all the excitement. Put a little effort into honing and toning their talents before you hit the sheets and you will be like a sports star who has taken care to train before stepping into the ring. If you want to be able to keep the pleasure going long into the night, then the solution is simple: Your hands need a little exercise.

Consider this chapter a personal training program for your hands. These miniworkouts (which are used by sexological bodyworkers and massage therapists) will make your hands stronger, faster, more flexible, and even more fine-tuned to feeling subtle sensations than ever before. What’s more, they take only a few minutes to do and
don’t require a gym membership—any old place from your living room to your car is fine. For optimal fitness, each exercise should be performed at least once a day for one to two weeks to bring your musculature and sensitivity up to speed; after that, you can do them once per week to maintain your hands’ pleasure-inducing performance levels.

While having to worry about getting yet one more body part into shape may seem like a drag, think of it this way: It’s all for the pursuit of
pleasure.
What endeavor could be more worthwhile? Once you see the results, you’ll be very glad you did these drills.

FOR STRENGTH

Exercise #1: Play Ball

Get a tennis ball, racquetball, or buy one of those squishy “stress balls” you often see strategically placed near the register at drugstores (no doubt to alleviate the mounting tension that comes from waiting for a prescription refill). Close your hand around your ball of choice and squeeze as hard as you can for three seconds, then relax. Repeat at least ten times. This will strengthen the muscles in your palm and fingers, helping you to knead your partner for a sustained session without wimping out.

Exercise #2: Towel Twister

This exercise will strengthen your wrists. Holding an end of a hand towel in each hand, twist the towel as much as you can, as if you were wringing water out of it. Hold for five seconds, then reverse directions. Repeat ten times.

Exercise #3: The Upper Body Booster

This exercise will increase overall upper body strength. Keeping your legs straight, bend over and place your palms on the floor so your body forms an upside-down V (if you have ever taken a yoga class, you may recognize this pose as the Downward Dog). Lean your weight onto your palms and press them into the floor, making sure to spread your fingers as wide as possible. Hold for ten seconds; repeat five times.

FOR FLEXIBILITY

Exercise #4: The Finger Stretcher

This exercise will stretch the muscles in each finger individually, as well as the corresponding tendons running down into the wrist. Holding one hand out in front of you, palm facing forward as if to say “stop” to oncoming traffic, grab its thumb with your other hand and pull it back for a second, then release. Then pull back your index finger, then your middle finger, and so on. Then switch hands.

Exercise #5: The Rubber Wrist

Pull your thumb down toward the inside of your wrist and hold for a count of ten. Then grab your four fingers and pull them back toward the top of your wrist for the same amount of time. Respectively this will stretch the top and bottom of your wrist for more all-around flexibility. Perform each stretch twice.

Exercise #6: The Forearm Flexor

Get down on all fours; the fingertips in both hands should naturally point forward. Rotate one of your wrists inward so your fingers are
pointing back toward your feet. Then slowly lower your butt toward the floor; this will stretch the underside of the forearm you just rotated. Switch hands—and once you pull that off, try doing both hands together. Perform each stretch twice.

FOR DEXTERITY

Exercise #7:
Don’t
Follow the Leader

Except for your thumb, whose raison d’être is to do its own thing (thus the term “opposable thumb”), the rest of your fingers prefer to stick together: If one moves, they all want to move with it. This follow-the-leader tendency can be a problem when you try to do certain techniques we teach that require a high level of dexterity, and that’s where this exercise can help by forcing your fingers to break apart from the pack.

Here’s how to do it: Gently rest your hand palm down on a table-top. Lift your index finger one inch off the surface, then let it fall back to the table. Repeat ten times, then do the same thing with your middle, fourth, and fifth digits. Your ring finger, you’ll find, is the weakest of the bunch. But over time all your fingers should improve.

Exercise #8: The Coin Flip

This exercise will also increase your dexterity, but be warned: It takes practice. That said, those who master this move will have a pretty cool party trick up their sleeve to impress random strangers. Extend your hand palm up, place a quarter on your index finger and then flip it onto your middle finger, then flip it onto your fourth finger, then your fifth, then send the coin back the way it came. Once you have mastered this move, try it on the knuckle side of your fingers instead.

FOR SENSITIVITY

Exercise #9: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

For this exercise you’ll need a book, ideally one with really thin paper (a telephone book is ideal), and a long strand of hair. Open the book and place the hair on the center of any page; then carefully flip a page so it’s covering the hair.

While you probably have a decent idea of where the hair is hiding underneath that page, pretend you don’t—and force your finger to find it. Gently run your index finger across the page, feeling for the hair. Once you find it, flip a second page on top and see if you can still feel where the hair is. Continue adding pages until you can’t feel the hair anymore. Then repeat the exercise with your middle finger, fourth finger, and pinky. The next time you try this exercise, push yourself to find the hair by adding even more pages. This technique will improve your “palpation skills”—aka the ability to pick up on very subtle sensations.

Exercise #10: The Balloon Press

This exercise will improve your ability to feel subtle differences in pressure, so that you can avoid pushing muscles in your partner’s body past his or her comfort zone. Inflate a balloon, then slowly sink your fingertips into it. The surface should give pretty easily at first, less so as you press deeper. At some point you should feel the sensation shift from your
bending
the balloon’s surface to
stretching
it. This change also occurs if you press your fingers into any muscle in the body (including those in the vagina and anus). At first the area will give easily, but if you keep going there will come a point at which you feel like you’re stretching it—and since that can be painful, it’s best if
you don’t cross that line. Practice on the balloon and you’ll soon be able to pinpoint the difference.

Exercise #11: Armed and Ready

Once you have mastered the hair-in-the-phone-book and balloon workouts we think you’re ready to try out one final exercise on the human body—either yours or your partner’s. To start out, get your hand hovering a couple of inches over your (or your partner’s) forearm, close enough so that you can feel the warmth emanating from the arm. Then, moving at a snail’s pace, slowly close in so you can feel the arm hairs. Then close in further so you can feel the skin, then deeper until you feel the layer between skin and muscle, then even deeper until you can feel the muscle, then the bone. Then, just as slowly, loosen your grip and reverse your way back to your starting position, feeling for each layer as you go. Do this exercise slowly and it will hone your sensitivity in a whole new way.

SETTING THE SCENE FOR
MIND-BLOWING SEX

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure
the senses but the soul.
—OSCAR WILDE

A
s tempting as it is to reach straight for the genitals and start rubbing, let’s not forget: Sex is
a full-body
experience. Focus exclusively on someone’s privates and it’s like playing a piccolo solo when you could be orchestrating a symphony’s worth of sensations—one that permeates your sense of sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch in subtle, complex, and thrilling ways. To create an ensemble effect, a little preparation is in order.

Turning your typical bedroom into a well-equipped love den isn’t as daunting as you might think. In fact, much of what you’ll need may be in your home already, although you might not have thought to use it for
this
kind of occasion (you’ll never look at your kitchen spoons the same way again). Some accoutrements we suggest you
have on deck might seem obvious (like personal lubricant or massage oil), but the uninitiated tend to make grave mistakes picking which products to use, or where on the body to put them (and please believe us when we say you don’t want to learn where
not
to put massage oil through trial and error).

To help ensure that you put together a bacchanalian buffet of sensory pleasures, this chapter is a checklist of things you should do or get before you start steaming things up. If you need to embark on a shopping spree, we have provided a list of Web sites in the Appendix, where you can find everything you need. Take these simple measures and your rapt audience of one will be tickled pink by all the sexy special effects.

WET YOUR WHISTLE: WHY WE ALL NEED LUBE IN OUR LOVE LIVES

If your hands are heading to your partner’s privates, personal lubricant is a must. This slippery substance helps cut down on friction so your hands can glide over genitals in arousing ways—try making do without it and you may be in for a very rough ride. Using your own saliva might get you started, but unless you’re a champion drooler, there’s only so much spit to go around, plus it evaporates quickly. A woman’s nether regions may lubricate naturally, but these resources can also run dry—even if she’s turned on—due to medication she’s taking, which stage of the menstrual cycle she’s in, or even whether she drank eight glasses of water that day. Luckily, all of these problems are instantly solved with a store-bought stand-in. Just be sure not to use lube as an excuse to push past your partner’s comfort zone; always check in to make sure he or she is enjoying what you’re doing. There are three general types of lube to consider: water-based,
silicone-based, and homeopathic. Here’s a rundown of what they’re like and which would be best suited for your purposes.

Water-based Lubes

True to their name, these lubes are made out of water, which means that they’re safe to use with condoms and on women internally, unlike oils, which break down the latex in condoms and may cause vaginal infections. Water-based lubes are also inexpensive, won’t stain your sheets, and come in a wide variety of flavors, colors, and textures. The one downside is they do tend to evaporate quickly, so you may have to apply more as you go or splash water on the area, which can reconstitute the lube you’re already using. Still, overall, their popularity among sexually active sorts speaks for itself. Here are a few common brands:

K-Y Jelly:
Many women have already been introduced to this lube at the gyno’s office, where K-Y Jelly is used during pelvic exams to make them more comfortable. Since it’s designed for doctors rather than lovers, K-Y tends to get sticky fast and is not our favorite. Still, there have been sexually enhancing improvements made on the original formula, and in spite of its downsides K-Y certainly has convenience going for it, as it’s available in most drugstores.

Astroglide:
So named because its inventor discovered it while working on the cooling system of the Space Shuttle, this lube tastes sweet and has a consistency similar to what the body produces naturally. The one downside: It contains glycerin, a type of sugar that can cause yeast infections in women who are prone to them.

Liquid Silk:
It looks like moisturizer, it feels like moisturizer, and it lasts longer than any other water-based lube—a definite benefit if you feel that constantly reaching for another helping is interrupting your flow. It’s also glycerin-free.

Slippery Stuff:
In spite of its name this lube (which is also glycerin-free) is actually
less
slippery than most water-based brands. For those who prefer a thicker consistency, this one could float your boat.

Silicone-based Lubes

Long used on lubricated condoms, silicone is now sold by the bottle. Silicone lubes are more expensive than water-based varieties, but some argue that they’re worth every penny. Since silicone doesn’t evaporate, a little goes a long way—and can last for hours of fun. Eros and Venus are two popular brands, but just keep in mind that silicone lubes should not be used with silicone sex toys, since the liquid and solid forms will bind and ruin your toy.