Redeem Me (18 page)

“Red sky at night, sailors’ delight,” I say.

“It’s a great sunset.”

“It’ll be dark by the time we get to the dance,” I say, suggesting something, but I’m not sure what I’m willing to give. I do know I’m thankful for the gearshift between us. I let go of his hand and take my phone out of my mother’s purse. He watches me, dejected. I want to get a picture of the sunset, but it’s always behind us.

“Noble, will you do me a favor?”

“Anything,” he answers with anticipation.

“Can you pull over?” He raises his eyebrows the tiniest bit. “I want to take a picture of the sunset.”

They always slip away; even the memory of the amazing ones fade, disappear without my consent. I want a picture of this sunset. It’s magnificent. Noble pulls the car over without regard for traffic since there are no other cars on the road.

“Thanks. Hurry up, it’s almost down.” Impossibly the sky is blazing deeper crimson than before. Noble stays seated and I grab his hand. “Come on, I want you in it.”
You’re magnificent, too.

He jumps out of the car and I meet him behind it and position him with his back to the most incredible sunset I’ve ever seen. I take a few full-length shots, which he tires of quickly. I take a few close-ups of his face, angled to include the maximum amount of red. As I snap the last one, the colors fade and the sun dips low. Two cars go by following each other. They beep and yell something out the window.

“Sam,” he says, waving to his closest friend. “We should get going.” He takes my hand and, for the second time tonight, he helps me into the car. When I sit back in the seat, he pulls the seat belt out and wraps it around me, his lips practically touching my breast as he leans over to find the buckle.

My nipple hardens at his closeness. My God, without even touching me he’s driving me wild. My breath quickens. We’re not going to make it through tonight. Noble pauses at the sight of my nipple, still leaning over me slightly.

“We’d better go,” I utter while having some difficulty breathing. As Noble walks around the car, I watch the sun disappear behind us. When he puts the car in gear, I take his hand and hold it tight in my lap, not willing to lose him, too.

O
n a normal night you wouldn’t know this tree-lined lane leads to the Reed farm. Tonight, though, each tree is decorated with hundreds of white lights. There’s a glow coming from the other side of the hill, and when we get to the top, the house and tent come into view, lit up like a stadium. This is no ordinary farm; it’s an estate by any measure. The main house is a massive two-story brick colonial with pillars lining the front porch. There are thirty-seven windows on the front of the house, each with a candle adorning the sill. A group of teenagers is dressed in valet uniforms, and Noble hands them the keys to the Volvo as one opens my door to help me out of the car. I take his hand and before my feet hit the ground, Noble is holding my elbow and dismissing the valet.

“I’ll take it from here,” he says, not very politely.

We follow the other guests through the house and onto the back patio, which opens onto the largest tent I’ve ever seen. It’s decorated with tree branches and glass-globe candleholders hanging from the ceiling over the tables. A rod is extended the length of the dance floor with iron lanterns suspended from it every few feet and candles gently lighting the area. The tables have glass mason jars with a few daisies popping out next to miniature iron lanterns with candles. The gentleness and innocence of the flowers next to the cold lanterns reminds me of Noble and myself. I admire the sight as I slip my arm through Noble’s and he grabs my hand, holding it firmly in place.

There are already at least two hundred people here, talking over the music, clinking glasses, and laughing at anecdotes. I’m a little overwhelmed. Noble squeezes my arm in his, sensing my apprehension. “I’m going to be right here the entire night.” The warmth from his hand gives me a little shiver. “Are you cold?”

“No, just the opposite,” I say with a suggestive smile.

“Holy hell, Charlotte. I love the dress, but I’m completely obsessed with the shoes. Where did you get them?” Nadine interrupts us and gives me a big hug.

“Nordstrom,” Jocelyn says, and I see Noble register something, but he lets it go.

“Sinclair.” Clint shakes Noble’s hand as they move to the side, discussing something quietly.

“You two look gorgeous!” I exclaim. They really do. Nadine has an electric blue dress that’s both short and tight, but she can totally pull it off, and Jocelyn is wearing floor-length black with no back. It just skims the top of her backside. She turns around, showing me the back, and shakes her bottom at me.

We stand shoulder to shoulder and drink in the sights of the tent. “Didn’t I say you’d see a little bit of everything?” Nadine reiterates.

She’s right. There are ball gowns, prom gowns, cocktail dresses, some women in black work pants, a few velvet blazers, and even one or two in jeans—not even dark denim. If only the Rutgers girls could see this. Everyone is intermingled, making the dress choices seem like a patterned quilt ready to be auctioned off at a fund-raiser.

Nadine’s boyfriend, Derrick, and a few of his friends come over and we exchange hellos without any kisses. Kissing hello is definitely a North Jersey thing. My old swimming buddy, Chris Black, is with them and pulls me into a bear hug.

“Ooh, hottie!” he says a little too loudly. As he spins me around, I see Noble on his way over. I wiggle free and maintain a smile so it’s not awkward. Noble is by my side as Chris tells me about the open-water swimming he’s competing in now. He offers to train with me if I want to enter a race. Noble’s face is unmistakably dismissing the entire idea.

Dr. and Mrs. Garrisch stop by to greet us and I give them each a hug. He has known me my entire life. Dr. Garrisch makes small talk with Noble, and I admire Mrs. Garrisch’s pearl necklace. It is a strand of large pearls, but the outstanding part is halfway up one side: a daisy made out of large yellow and white diamonds. She tells me it was a gift from Dr. Garrisch for their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.

Wow.
Twenty-five years. Jason and I couldn’t make it three.

“It’s nice to see you again, Charlotte. You kids have fun tonight,” Dr. Garrisch says as he escorts Mrs. Garrisch away.

I can’t believe I know this many people. I get phone numbers for Amy Johnson and Dina Lowry and promise to call so we can do Happy Hour. I catch up on swim team news with my ex-teammates and I even get a big hug from Coach Edwards. The way he looks at me makes it clear he’s all too familiar with my recent breakup. Was it recent? I count on my fingers: September, October, November, December, January, February, March…seven months. How is that possible? I see Noble talking with some farmers across the dance floor and I realize
he
is how it’s possible. If it weren’t for him, I would still be walking around like the undead. As if he can feel me thinking about him, he looks up and gazes at me. His face turns to concern as Darla and Darlene walk over to give me fake hugs.

“I love your dress, Charlotte,” Darla says, and smiles, but it doesn’t touch her eyes. It barely touches her lips.

“Thanks, you guys look great, too,” I say, having no idea why they’re even talking to me. We weren’t close in high school, and I’m pretty sure Darlene was chasing Jason when we unexpectedly got together. She’s been icy ever since.

“I was surprised to see you here, especially with Nick.”

“Why’s that?” I ask, not understanding what she’s getting at. I see Noble hurrying across the dance floor.

“Well, we figured you’d be avoiding large, public events,” Darlene says, exaggerating “large” and “public.”

“We just thought you’d be afraid Jason would be here.”

Oh, that’s how this is going to go.

“With Stephanie…and Jason Junior.”

I close my eyes for a second and swallow hard.

Noble’s at my side, supporting my arm as I say, “It’s a shame they couldn’t make it,” and smile like a crazy person.

“Sorry, ladies, I need to steal my beautiful date,” Noble says, guiding me away to the dance floor. His arms around me are a life jacket, and I leave it to him to sway us back and forth in some version of dancing as I restore myself. Even though I’ve stopped wishing horrible things on the baby, I’m still not ready to think of “him” as a person. Hearing his rather obvious name off the sour lips of Darla wounds me more than I should let it.

“What did they say to you?” Noble demands.

I lay my head on his shoulder and inhale deeply. His scent takes me back to him placing the daisy on my wrist and I am soothed.

I will not ruin tonight, so help me God. Noble will not see me cry over a baby in Oklahoma again.

“Charlotte, please say something before I go over there and choke Darla.”

I almost achieve a smile. “It was nothing really. They were just filling me in on some county gossip.”

“Do you ever get tired of taking the high road with people?”

“I deserve what I get.”

He holds me away from him, ready to admonish me.

But I continue with a genuine smile. “This dress, Noble Sinclair as my date—I should have known every girl here was going to hate me.”

Noble pulls me close to him and we legitimately dance to the music.

“Darla did invite me to the dance first.”

“What?” I gasp, and pull back to see Noble’s face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I’d already told her no. I wasn’t coming here without you. I would have spent the entire night thinking about you and she’d be twice as mad as she is right now.”

I look over at Darla’s sneer as Darlene spews something in her ear.

I don’t think Darla could be twice as mad as she is right now.

The band starts playing the next song as the singer entices more people onto the dance floor. The song is hauntingly familiar: My mother used to play it on Sunday afternoons. “What song is this?” I ask.

Noble nods. “I don’t know, but you’re beautiful.”

He slowly twirls me around and returns me to him. I’m safe in his arms. Just like that, easy and uncomplicated. I pull back to see him. He has that same look I’ve seen for months and it finally dawns on me what it is. I wish my father could be here to see Noble look at me this way.

In my life I’ve been desired, and wanted, and needed, and loved, but when Noble Sinclair looks at me, I’m cherished.

My father deserved to know his daughter was with someone like Noble and that Noble loves me as much as he did. I’m safe, even if he’s not here to make sure of it. We continue to move to the music as I pull his face down to kiss him gently on the lips. I return my head to his shoulder, completely at peace.

Brian Matlin is dancing with Lauren Melson. I wonder if they’re a couple now. Brian’s as classically handsome as he was five years ago: tall with dark brown hair and kind hazel eyes. He kind of reminds me of BJ. I’ll have to remember
not
to tell him. When we broke up, girls told me I was crazy. Lauren’s a sweet girl, much more his style. If there was anything sweet about me, it’s long been obliterated. Maybe Noble should be with a sweet girl.

As I consider it, he moves one hand down to my lower back. It’s still for a few seconds before moving slowly back and forth, up and down, searching for something. He pulls me to him and I feel his hard-on jabbing into my hip.

“Charlotte,” he begins in an authoritative way, “has your complete disregard for proper attire allowed you to come to the Harvest Dance sans underpants?” His voice is low and his breath hot on my neck.

I want him right now.

I stand on my toes and challenge in his ear, “Prove it,” and raise my eyebrows as I rock back a little. He watches me, considering his options, and I bite my lower lip and lick it. The pulsing between my legs starts and I know it’s just a matter of time. He grabs my hand, walking briskly out the door. Hopefully everyone will think we’re having a fight.

“Where are you guys going?” Sam asks as we rush by.

“We’ll be right back. I want to show Charlotte the ring around the moon.”

“There isn’t going to be a ring around the moon,” I explain as Noble grabs our keys from the wall of hooks and we traverse the adjacent field searching for the Volvo. “Red sky at night, sailors’ delight. No rain tomorrow.”

“Charlotte.” His voice is strained. “I’m having trouble thinking because I have a giant throbbing rod in my pants.” He labors over each word.

We find the car and he opens the back door and throws me in just before diving in on top of me. He’s grabbing, and pulling, and touching me everywhere at once.

“Slow down,” I beg.

He stops, his breathing loud and heavy. I sit him up and straddle him. I ease off his jacket and bring his face close as I kiss him gently, trying to provide some control. I’m so wet and my breasts are pawing their way out of my dress.

“Unzip my dress,” I demand as I lean over for him to reach it. My lips find his neck and kiss it gently. He follows my instructions, dependent. I pull both arms from the dress and sit up, letting it fall to my waist. Noble reaches out and plays with my nipple as I watch. He pauses and looks at me voraciously. I take his face in my hands and kiss him. Noble’s tongue communicates his need as it blocks my thoughts and steals my breath. My face is hot like the rest of my body and I need him in me now. I reach for his pants’ zipper and he stops my hand, laying it flat on his pants. I feel him, huge and throbbing through the material. I try to move my hand up it, but he holds it still as my heart pounds in my chest.

“Be careful, it can only take so much of you,” he says, and looks at me, pleasure personified.

“Take off your pants,” I demand, and as soon as I see his giant hard-on fall back against his dress shirt, I pull up my skirt and pounce on him. I’m straddling him as we kiss frantically, and he lifts me up, plunging himself into me on the way down.

“Oh, Noble…” I try to breathe as he lifts me up, and again he fills me.

I can’t think straight—or crooked, or frontward, or backward. I arch my back just enough for an intense wave of pleasure to gush from every descent. I ride him with my face pointed toward the stars and my hands resting on his beautiful shoulders. Seconds, minutes, hours—time itself is one of the many concepts I can no longer grasp. Noble grabs my head with both hands and moves my face within an inch of his own.

“Oh, Charlotte, what you do to me,” he whispers, and kisses me with the full suppressed desire of the past three months.

I return to my frenzied rhythm, unable to stop. I throw my head back and completely disintegrate around him. It goes on and on, and as I rest my head on his shoulder, I still shudder some. I again just try to breathe.

“Did you come?” I ask, embarrassed I don’t know but not wanting to neglect him. His head is turned away from me and his heart beats against my cheek.

“Noble?”

“What? Sorry…” He turns toward me. “I can’t understand the question. I think you literally fucked my brains out.”

I study him triumphantly and kiss his neck.

He grabs my hand. “I never thought I’d say this, but please stop. My body can’t take any more.”

But it could. And it did.

I’m lying on top of Noble in the backseat of the car when we hear voices of guests leaving the dance. I feel invisible as I rest on his chest.
Boom, boom, boom.

“Yo, Sinclair, you two had better be at the Barnyard in thirty minutes or I’m bringing everyone I know to your house and we’ll drink all your beer.” It’s Sam.

“Would you stop? How do you even know they’re in there?” I hear his girlfriend, Kim, ask.

“Oh, they’re in there. Sinclair told me he almost attacked her when he picked her up and he’s been ogling at her, lovesick, all night.” Sam is drunk. “And don’t think you can hide at O’Brien’s. I’ll find you there, too.”

“Sam, would you shut up? Come on, you’re being an idiot.” When the voices quiet, I see them pulling away with Sam driving.

I look closely at Noble’s handsome face. “You do look a little lovesick.”

“Believe me, I’m not well.” He kisses the top of my head. “Let’s go change before we go to the Barnyard, or else I’m going to imagine that dress pulled up around your waist all night.”