Redemption (33 page)

It wrapped me up like a cold blanket and I felt it well up inside of me. Once I had enough, I broke the contact, closed myself off from her. She staggered, caught by surprise. She blinked at me several times and I nodded my head toward Garnier. She understood and proceeded to throw her strange string of energy in his direction. I’d seen many essentialists in my time, but not one of them had ever handled her essence in that bizarre, fascinating way.

The monster didn’t hesitate but it was also not in any hurry. It marched toward us slowly and steadily. I felt the same calm it did. This thing wouldn’t cause us too much trouble.

I gathered the essence flowing through me; Aude’s sweet, bubbly essence given freely was intoxicating and so much more potent than it had been when she’d had to force it out.

I transformed into the monster I could be; the scaly creature that was the flesh version of my stone form.

Garnier transformed right behind me, followed by Vincent and Antoine. We were now the hunters. The creature didn’t seem to worry, though. It didn’t even falter when we pounced on it. It shook us off easily, one at a time and we landed in the snow, our screams tearing into the night.

Pain wasn’t as severe in this form. I managed to pull myself up and surrounded the creature for another round. My brothers joined me, though I noticed that Vincent was limping. I wasn’t concerned. I knew he only felt a fraction of the pain.

The men had put down their rifles. They’d figured out the idiocy of their plans. Instead, they chanted. I recognized it as a prayer to their ancestor spirits. The air around them vibrated and Kateri gasped. It wasn’t common for these men to call upon their ancestors these days. Just another ancient knowledge getting lost in modern living.

Robert barked at Kateri and Anias to begin a ceremonial dance. They blinked at him self-consciously before beginning to move in the way of their ancestors. This was a dance they would have practiced since they were little for shows and competitions, but never for such a purpose. Arms spread out; they danced in circles around the men whose words were resonating like drums in the cold air.

I turned toward Aude and saw in her eyes that she heard the drums too. My attention returned to the creature just in time to see a massive stone arm swipe at me. I crouched low on my paws and the wind tickled my scales as the giant boulder of an arm passed less than an inch over my head.

Vincent didn’t crouch in time and his body was sent flying in the air, only to hit the ground again with alarming velocity. No sound came from him and I worried momentarily, but I didn’t have time for much more thought as I had to duck the next attack.

Aude screamed and everything stopped. The monster turned toward her. It had found what it was looking for. I lunged.

“No!”

The silence was deafening and then a soft rushing sound as debris poured from the monster. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening, but the creature was dissolving into a pile of sand.

Aude stood, her feet spread out, aligned with her shoulders. There was something odd about her stance. Her eyes opened and she blinked several times before she ran toward Vincent’s still form.

53

Aude

The drums pound in time with chanting, and I can’t take my eyes off Kateri and Anias’ dance. It’s as if they’re trying to tell me something with their gestures. It hits me all at once; what I need to do. I hesitate, trying to decide how to go about it. I feel around, open my eyes to what used to be unseen. I recognize the essence pulsating through the stone thing. It’s familiar, though at the same time, grossly mutated. I test the waters, tugging at it slightly.

Vincent flies through the air and hits the ground. I reach for him with this new sense but he’s not there. There is no pulsating blue-green light within him. The meaning of this gets me instantly. My knees threaten to buckle and I scream. The creature turns toward me and I don’t even think before I act. Somewhere in the background, I know that Guillaume’s screaming for me. There’s no need for it. I’m in control now. I feel the thread of essence still tingling in my hand and I yank on it. There is no resistance. It unravels into me and I feel giddy on it. Like an awakening in all my senses. But the feeling doesn’t last long and I remember Vincent. I run past the stone monster, quickly crumbling into dust, to him, already understanding there’s nothing I can do. I’m too late.

54

Guillaume

Mesmerized by the monster crumbling away, none of us had noticed how Vincent’s form had returned to human, or how he didn’t move. No one except for Aude who was now cradling him in her arms while tears rolled down her cheeks.

Why was she crying? Surely, she was able to make it all better, to fix him like she’d fixed Garnier. I knelt beside her and took stock of Vincent’s lifeless body. He looked perfect. There was not a scratch on him. It mustn’t have been as bad as she made it out to be. My stomach was in a knot, because deep down, I knew otherwise.

“I can’t … ” she started. “I would, even if it was dangerous to me, you know I would, don’t you, Guillaume?”

I swallowed and nodded to her. What was she trying to say? Garnier and Antoine had joined us by then, I looked at their balled up fists, their knuckles white with pressure.

Garnier pounded at the ground. “No! No, no, no, no!” He breathed heavily. Antoine stood stock still just staring the young boy’s body. Their reactions made it so much more real, too real. Aude watched me, while biting her lip.

“I’m sorry … I was too late … there was nothing left … nothing left to stream essence into.”

“He’s with Marie,” I murmured.

He’d lived his lifetime with her. I could hear him tell me with a smirk that any time after that was not owed to him but only a bonus—that any time was a gift. This was the strength of Vincent’s wisdom. Even after he left us, his words cut through our doubts and insecurity and helped us deal with the inevitable. Even for us, death was inevitable. We didn’t age, but sooner or later something would happen to us. Death would claim us at last.

I rocked forward on my toes and let me knees drop down into the snow while I leaned my forehead against Vincent’s chest. I wasn’t ready to let him go. I sat like that for a long time and when I felt arms wrap around me from behind, I recognized Aude’s touch.

She rested her chin into the crook of my neck and whispered in my ear, “I’m sorry, Guil. I couldn’t do anything.”

She stepped away and spoke with Robert and the others in muted tones. I stood up, shaking the snow off my pants, and left Vincent with Antoine.

“I will take care of him,” he said to me as I backed away from the body. Of course he would. Antoine always took care of us.

55

Aude

The few days before the holiday fly by. Vincent’s funeral stuff keeps us busy. Guillaume tries not to let on, but he’s not taking it very well. Some days, they are
all
just shadows of themselves, while on other, brighter ones, it’s like nothing has changed.

Except everything has.

There is one less person at the dinner table, one less person sitting on the couch reading books or researching on the laptop, and one less person around to impart his much-needed words of advice.

I have no right to feel so torn up about it, I hardly knew him. When thoughts of losing the only other family I had, except for my mom, threaten to overwhelm me, I put them aside. Everyone’s always so eager to make tragedy about themselves. I’m tempted to do it, too. It’s so easy for me to mope and cry because I lost him before I ever got to know him, but I don’t do things because they’re easy. I remind myself that I haven’t lost anything, only a chance at gaining something I never thought I’d have in the first place.

Other things have kept us busy and save me from wallowing too much. We had many repairs to do on the interior of our apartment after the earthquake and the seven aftershocks we’ve experienced in the beginning of this week. They’ve not been too bad except for the general fear and hysteria they’ve created in the city. Things have gone crazy around the world, it seems, these events were not isolated to Montreal.

We’ve used a cardboard box and some duct tape to temporarily fix the broken window in our living room until the landlord gets to it. I’d complain that it looks so ghetto, but everyone else is doing it.

We are celebrating Christmas at the de Rouens’. Mom wasn’t on board with the idea at first, but she warmed up to them considerably when I told her that Antoine was a gay parent raising his sons all on his own. I have no clue as to Antoine’s sexual orientation; I may not even have lied, for all I know. What I do know, though, is that Mom is suddenly a lot more sympathetic to his cause. It makes her respect him. Throw in the mix that he’s just lost his youngest son and Mom outright insists we have to go. She could never miss the opportunity to try to save someone.

I take a last look at the sheets of paper I have spread around me, bind them together with a ribbon, and wrap them up. Guillaume’s present is the other thing that’d kept me busy the past week.

At the de Rouens’, it becomes immediately obvious how Antoine’s been dealing with his grief. He’s kept even busier than the rest of us. The entire apartment is decorated for Christmas. The foyer has a tree, while another one sits in the living room. Garlands hang everywhere and white twinkle-lights sparkle like stars.

Mom surprises me too. I’d been afraid of how she’d act, how awkward she would make things. But she’s saying and doing all the right things and it occurs to me that, though her own life is screwed up in so many ways, she actually knows what she’s doing when it comes to other people. She’s good at her job. I try to imagine Antoine sitting in her stuffy little office, sharing his feelings, and I could laugh, if only it wasn’t such a sad scene. She hugs them all and tells them how sorry she is about Vincent. It’s a side of her I’ve never seen before. She’s in control, not the fake, forced control she takes over men, but something genuine.

Guillaume stands beside me, his shoulders touching mine and watches her with me.

“I like her like this. She seems different,” he says.

“Antoine needs her. This is what she lives for.”

“How are you?” he asks.

It’s a bad day for him. I can tell. He misses Vincent, it only makes sense.

“I’m disappointed that you haven’t even as much as hugged me or wished me Merry Christmas as I walked in,” I answer him.

He turns to me then. “Oh, Aude, I’m so sorry. Things just haven’t been normal.”

“I know … ” I regret the guilt trip, but only until he takes me in his arms and I wrap mine around his neck, in that spot they fit so well. I can’t regret something that feels this right.

Mom looks at me, and though she doesn’t smile the way Lucy’s mom does with her and Patrick, she doesn’t frown or glower. This is a bigger improvement than I thought possible.

The doorbell rings and I follow Guillaume to the entrance. When he opens the door and I see Trick and Lucy standing there hand in hand in their best clothes, I shriek—actually shriek—and hug Lucy. We haven’t talked much since our blowout. Even though I apologized, things have remained strained between us. We made excuses, said that we were busy, that we would resume band practice in the new year, but I don’t think that either of us meant it.

“Thank you,” I whisper to Guillaume and his lips stretch into a smile, small and fake at first but his eyes sparkle as he looks at me and it turns genuine. My heart soars and I struggle not to grin like an idiot.

Lucy whispers in my ear, “You’ll have to tell me all about it later.” I don’t get upset this time. I just grin at her.

The evening is full of surprise guests and Kateri and Anias also join us along with their grandfather and grandmother. Looking around, I realize that it’s a true reunion of people that are important to me. The number of which had more than doubled since this time last year.

Unfortunately, the surprises don’t end with unexpected guests; a text message comes through to my cell.
Merry Christmas pretty thing
from Ramtin Zardooz. I turn off my phone and place it back in my pocket. I don’t want to think about him tonight.

Dinner is turkey, and tourtière, and everything you would expect from a traditional Christmas meal. Then we open gifts. The gifts exchanged range from thoughtful to extravagant. From picture frames with meaningful photos to plane tickets to France and better. There are no limits to the gifts exchanged.

Guillaume hands me mine, a large rectangular box, and I’m completely stumped. I have no idea what it could be. His shadow grin turns real again when he watches me rip open the wrapping paper.

I gasp when I see it. “But … but … how could you know? How would you even find it? The last one was sold. They were discontinued.”

“I’m the one who bought it.”

I stared at him, and he whispers, “You fascinated me, it fascinated you … ” as if it is an explanation and I guess that it is.

I pull out the Goddess, fit the strap around my neck and marvel at how well it fits me, just like Guillaume does. We’re made for each other, the Goddess and I. Maybe the same could be said about Guillaume.

It’s time for me to give him my present and I hand it to him. He unwraps it and stares long and hard at the sheets of music before looking back at me. He stands up.