Regius (3 page)

"You
want
to be a soldier." Dandelion
said, the smile in her voice clear.

"I do. I want this life
because I feel wanted and useful. I've never felt this good about
myself as I do now after the trigger. It's like I understand my
body, which I didn't before. Datura was guiding me to this point
since day one, continuously showing me that it is okay to want
things for myself even if Solenum doesn't want the same thing, or
isn't here to want things with me."

"So Datura represents more
than just a love interest." She stated rather than
questioned.

"He is as much my puzzle
piece that completes me as I am to him."

I felt Dandelion pat my
shoulder sympathetically. "Then I completely understand why you
were terrified to let him in."

* * * *

I gratefully took the cup
of coffee Ilex handed to me. He'd managed to convince me to at
least go on a run with him for an hour in the meadows, and I could
honestly say that it had been quite satisfying to work up a sweat
and get rid of the excess energy. Now that things made more sense
to me and I was willing to let him and the other Altors teach me
all they knew, he'd taken advantage and explained a few
things.

The extra strength didn't
come free. If I didn't train, it could take its toll and return me
to the aggressive state I'd been in during the trigger. As though
the power that made you an Altor soldier needed to be properly
nurtured or else it could fester and explode when left
untouched.

This same rule applied to
the Regius. The difference was they had more power and when they
used too much of it, it tapped directly into their behavior and
altered it. Ilex had compared it to the Seers. Vervaine was forced
to stay away from human contact because it would lead to visions,
and the visions were only possible if they were allowed to feed on
the body that harbored it. If she were to give in, her powers would
control and consume her.

Although using their
strength didn't lead to their death like it would a Seer, the
Regius' personality was affected. The more they used it, the
crueler they became. But it wasn't just that. It was also a state
of mind. If a Blue Blood was taught to believe that it was okay to
use their strength to harm those weaker since they were children,
then who would have the power to change their minds?

"I know what you're
thinking." Ilex murmured while sipping his own coffee.

I smiled uncertainly. "You
do?" I liked it when he guarded me. He shared the same views on
personal space I did. Some topics were okay to discuss, whereas
others weren't his or my business. He was also a very calming
presence.

"Why not get a few Blue
Blood children and raise them with a different view on the world."
He wasn't far off. I had been getting to that. If it was a matter
of upbringing, then it could be a way to try and change the
conflict feeding the war.

"I'm assuming those highest
up in the Regius hierarchy are as aware of this matter as we are
and making sure nobody can change their-"

"Religion." Ilex supplied.
"Much like the Palliums have a way of viewing and treating the
earth we live on, so do the Regius. The only way we could change
the Blue Blood's core, is if a royal were to order them to do so.
Force them to tame their strength and use it differently from how
they believe it is right to use now and through this lifestyle,
possibly tame the cruelty." I blinked in surprise at his words;
staring at him sitting crossed legged on the grass as the
realization hit me.

"Is that what Flux is
trying to achieve?" I murmured. "He took the heir so he could raise
and mold him into a Regius without cruelty?"

"A Regius
King
without cruelty."
Ilex corrected. "The Altors didn't stop Flux from trying because it
is essentially an appealing maneuver to try and reduce the conflict
between the races. If the heir is strong enough to hold on to
Flux's upbringing, then I would be more than willing to serve
him."

"But you fear that streak
of cruelty in their blood will one day get the better of him." He
didn't have to say it; I heard it in his tone. He spoke as though
it was a solution that could only come true in a dream.

"The Regius have done so
much damage over the centuries; it would take a miracle for the
Altors to trust a Blue Blood to be King to all the races." Ilex
paused, about to take another sip from his coffee, but then shook
his head, grimaced and put it down on the grass. "How can you be a
strong King with a mind of your own, when what you look like, who
you are and your entire upbringing creates a type of uncertainty
for each race when looking at you?"

"You don't trust him?" I
asked.

Ilex shrugged, clearly
conflicted. "The Palliums feel the need to keep him in one place,
as though he is a wild animal that needs to be locked in a cage
just in case he does someday lash out. Whenever Altors set eyes
upon him, we cannot help but remember all the wrongs the Regius
have done to us and because he wears the royal mark, it's like we
are obliged not to trust him. That mark is the representation of
the entire war." He absently reached into the bag he had brought
when he'd relieved Dandelion from her guarding duties, pulling out
a sandwich and giving it to me. "Even the Rangers treat those with
the royal mark carefully."

I eyed the food, not that
hungry all of a sudden. The way Ilex described this person who was
unfortunate enough to be born with a mark on their body that made
them the heir whether they wanted the crown or not-

"That's terrible." I
whispered.

"What?" Ilex
asked.

"He never asked for any of
this, and however his blood may rule his system, it is terrible
that there is nobody in Zinc that doesn't fear him in one way or
another." When I looked at Ilex, I saw him raise his eyebrows in
surprise.

"You feel for
him?"

I shrugged. "He's human,
isn't he?"

"But he's the
Regius Heir.
"

I shrugged again. "And I
may or may not carry the curse of foresight and have Sage, adviser
to the current Regius leader, for a mother with the power to
manipulate my mind and tip the war into their favor. Yet here you
are talking to me with ease because I look like you." When Ilex
wanted to protest, I shook my head. "It's okay. Maybe I'm just
particularly sympathetic to those different because I always felt
different while growing up. Maybe I should be cautious about this
guy. Yet the fact remains that Vervaine is Sage's daughter and I
may be her son as well. Even if Vervaine's father is an Altor Elder
and she was brought up by him in the Altor way, you fear her more
than me because she carries apparent physical traits of a Regius.
But from what I understand, my father was an unstable Altor soldier
whose history is so uncertain, nobody is quite sure who my mother
is." I smiled tightly. "If you map it out such as I did now,
Vervaine should be the one to have your trust. But because I look
like an Altor, you favor me."

Ilex stared at me, the
silence hanging awkwardly between us.

"Sorry, I'm not accusing
you." I muttered when he just continued to stare mutely.

He shook himself out of
it. "No, no. You're accusing all of us." I opened my mouth to
apologize again, but he gave me a stern glance. "Never,
ever,
apologize for
speaking your mind and having an opinion, Cali. You're a smart
kid." Nodding, he stole the sandwich I clearly wasn't going to eat
and took a bite out of it.

"When I was delirious," I
started, swallowing nervously and looking down at the ground. "I
remember you saying to Datura that you knew my father."

The Altor simply nodded.
"Kalmia Esquivel. Some moments in his life are indeed unknown to
us."

"Why is that?" I asked, the
curiosity overpowering the nervousness and making me feel brave. I
needed to know more.

"He went rogue first and
then fell off the grid."

I offered a dull stare.
"Neither of those terms are part of my vocabulary yet."

Ilex grinned, letting
himself lay back on the grass, his hands beneath his head. "He's
not as bad as most Altors make him out to be." He said softly, his
tone implying he'd known my father better than he'd let on. "He was
rash and definitely not always the wisest, but he was a good man,
very kind and he could make you feel wanted and
important."

My heart skipped a beat.
"You and him had a relationship?!" I didn't know whether to gag or
just continue to remain dumbfounded for the rest of my
life.

"Cali." Ilex clipped out,
sending me a glare. "Just because I describe a man in a warm
manner, doesn't mean I-" He wrinkled his nose, "
You know.
" I waved it off quickly,
the idea still making me slightly nauseated.

"He was completely and
utterly straight. And kind of a player while we're at it." I tried
to picture his face, but I just couldn't, the wall still blocking
my memories. "He was of the same generation as Iso and Ivy's
parents. Lupinus and Acacia were a few years younger than him." I
saw Ilex smile. "If I remember him fondly it's because he was the
one that told me it was okay to be gay."

"So, if he had still been
alive right now and-"

Ilex cut me off. "He'd have
approved of Datura, yes." The blush that broke out over my cheeks
couldn't be helped. Ilex had never truly spoken to me about mine
and Datura's relationship. To hear him speak about it so simply
made me both shy and relieved. Not that his opinion would have
changed my mind, but it was comforting to know he understood what I
saw in Datura.

"Why did he go rogue?" I
wanted to talk about my relationship with Datura
to
Datura, not Ilex, so
I made sure he didn't go off track. He held some answers about my
father that only he could give.

"Iso's father fell in love
with a woman that appeared to be a regular Civilian, but at some
point we found out she was an undercover Regius."

I frowned. "A Regius with
dominant Civilian traits?"

Ilex shook his head. "No, a
Civilian descending from a family who sided with the Regius when
the war first broke out. There aren't many, but the very few that
are here are used as undercover spies since we have no way to
identify them."

"What does that have to do
with my father?"

"He and Acal, Iso and Isa's
father, were the best of friends. When Acal decided to relinquish
his soldier title, lay down his sword and betray the Altors by
siding with the Regius so he could stay with his wife, Kalmia
followed him." Breathing out, I lay back in the grass as well. Now
it made more sense as to how my father had come in contact with
Sage. If he'd bowed down to the Regius King, he'd effectively been
in close proximity to that woman.

"So he went rogue because
he relinquished his soldier duties and then he became a traitor as
he offered his skills to be used by the Regius." I
deduced.

"And then he fell off grid
by leaving the Regius and remaining hidden from all races." Ilex
added. "We know he left the Blue Bloods because he handed you over
to me a year after you were born." I sat up in surprise, feeling
shocked at that revelation.

Ilex smiled. "Sage was
relentlessly tracking Kalmia. So much so, he felt the need to give
you up for your own safety. He said he trusted me to do that." He
sighed, sitting up as well and giving me a pained look. "I'd just
finished my training and Kalmia had turned into a far off memory,
someone from my past I didn't expect to ever see again. I was about
to pick a territory and was crossing my fingers that me and Caltha
could end up in the same district so we wouldn't be forced to end
our relationship because of the distance."

I sighed. "You weren't
ready for that much responsibility, yet he forced you to take it on
anyway."

Ilex shook his head. "It
wasn't quite like that. I don't think he expected me to raise you,
but he did expect me to find people who could."

"Pressure much?" I chuckled
weakly.

"That's what I said." Ilex
ran a hand through his hair, tugging on it. "He warned me that you
were part Seer, and the Elders knew he'd had a dalliance with Sage.
To protect you, Pieris, an Elder, took charge of you and made sure
the least amount of people knew so that it was harder to find
you."

I nodded in understanding.
"The less people know, the less chance they could find
me."

"When Lupinus called me and
told me to come get you out of Lithium Village...hearing your name
was a shock. I never thought I'd see you again." We fell silent,
comfortably allowing time to think things over.

"Do I look like him?" I
asked after a moment.

Ilex smiled broadly.
"Almost a duplicate."

* * * *

When I woke that following
morning, there was still no change in the passage that led to the
Valley and when I looked to the other side, I saw that Ilex had
been replaced by Vervaine. She acknowledged me with a nod before
returning her attention to the small block of wood she was carving.
I felt a connection to Vervaine that I couldn't logically explain.
It was like a feeling of warmth that settled over me when I was
near her. I'd felt this way around one other person in my life;
Solenum. There was an instant trust established even though neither
had done anything in particular to obtain it.