Regrets of The Fallen (Victis Honor Book 1) (23 page)

“Eh,” Haruka shrugged, “As long as they’re equally hot it’s worth it.”

“Oh, I see.” Isabella rested her chin on her hand as she smiled at her across the table. “So as long as I don’t lose my looks, I’m good?”

“That’s the deal,” Haruka said as she sipped her water.

“What if they change?”

“Well from what I’ve seen you look good with blue, blonde
and
red hair, so I’m pretty sure you can pull anything off.”

Isabella bit her lip. “Sometimes it’s
so
hard to resist turning the things you say into innuendo.”

Haruka grinned. “How many things can I possibly say that could be made dirty?”

“Everything.
Everything
can be made dirty, or at least responded to in such a manner.”

“You must have a dirty mind, then.”

Bella sighed. “You have
no
idea.”

Haruka raised an eyebrow. “I
want
to.”

Isabella smiled. “We’ll see. You’re doing pretty
good so far.”

After the extravagant dinner they found themselves south of the city, walking along the beach there hand-in-hand. The date was so very normal that it was extremely abnormal to the two of them. “I wonder if they appreciate it this much,” Isabella was saying as they walked, continuing, as she sometimes did, a line of thought into spoken word.

“Who appreciates what now?”

Bella smiled, looking at her. “I wonder if normal people appreciate the normal things they do.”

“Ah.” Haruka looked back at the town, as if judging for herself. “I think people can get used to anything, and eventually it’s no longer special.”

Isabella stopped, catching Haruka’s gaze as she, too, stopped. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this,” the knight said softly. “This has been…” Bella sighed, looking at Haruka as if she was a puzzle to her. “I don’t know how you keep making me feel so lucky. I keep wondering if things are real or if I’ve finally snapped completely and imagined someone perfect to save me.”

Haruka smiled, her arms encircling her waist. “It’s real. That’s why we keep getting interrupted by danger and violence.”

Bella rested her hands on the monk’s shoulders, tilting her head. “Maybe. But I don’t feel interrupted right now.”

“Shh,” Haruka said with a chuckle. “You’re tempting fate again.”

Isabella smiled. “I’ll risk it. It was worth it last time.” She tilted her head up and kissed her, leaning in closer. Haruka returned it, her arms tightening to keep her there. And that was fine with Isabella; she wasn’t planning on going anywhere.

“There’s more to life than being used.”

“Not mine.”

When Isabella returned to the
Black Wake
, she was very different than the last time she’d returned. Freya had to chuckle at the dreamy expression on the knight’s face as she listened to Haruka talk about something, hand in hers, as they walked down the pier. The pirate didn’t bother trying to listen in; she didn’t even know what had bothered the blue-haired woman in the first place. She was just glad it wasn’t bothering her anymore – although she
was
a bit saddened that it didn’t require a fight to fix.

As they stepped onto the deck, Isabella smiled at Haruka. “I’ll be down in a minute, okay?” Haruka nodded, releasing her and heading down after giving a thankful look to Freya.

The pirate gave a nod in response, then watched as Isabella came over to lean on the railing beside her, looking over the edge of the ship. “You’re in a better mood, lass.”

Isabella smiled at her, casting a glance over her shoulder. “It’s hard not to be. She puts a lot of effort into this. Us.”

“Looks like it worked, though.”

“Mhmm. I’ve no idea how she knows so well what to do. I’m totally lost.”
             

Freya chuckled. “Guesses. She was nervous that it wouldn’t work, or that you wouldn’t go with it. She figured doing somethin’ traditional would be special, though. Good logic, given ‘ow weird we all are.”

Isabella laughed, looking over at her. “I guess we are, aren’t we? It’s okay with me, though. Tonight was like… a promise.”

The pirate turned around, leaning her elbows back on the rail as she raised an eyebrow. “This metaphorical?”

“Yes… and no.” Bella folded her arms on the railing. “It’s like, she promised that for the rest of my life, she won’t care about my past and she’ll try to make me happy. I promised to try to ignore my past and be happy for however long I have, and, of course, to fight for her.”

Freya tilted her head. “I knew somethin’ was wrong. How long y’ got?”

Isabella blinked, and then gave her a soft smile. “You’re very perceptive. Honestly, I don’t know; months to a few years. Probably a year, I think.”

The pirate was silent for a moment, leaning her head back and looking at the sky. “Kinda lame. Ya seem prepared for it, though.”

“More or less. I mean, I’ve known it’s coming.” She looked down, interlocking her fingers. “I thought it was my fault, but I’m trying to get away from that. Either way it’s the same situation.” She looked at Freya. “I’m more worried about Haruka than anything.”

“That’s good. It’ll be hard on ‘er, for sure. But we’ve all lost someone, right?”

Bella nodded. “I am curious, though… Why’d you help Haruka with tonight?”

Freya shrugged. “New relationships need time alone, y’know? Hard t’ get that on a crowded ship. Plus y’ seemed down earlier. ‘Sides, it’s not like I was altruistic. We made a trade.”

“Right. Still… Thank you.”

“Eh, don’t worry ‘bout it.”

“It was sweet.”

“Then I need t’ balance it out.” Freya grinned at her. “So… Should I tell my men t’ stay away from yer room?  Is it gonna be loud?”

Isabella blushed, pushing off the railing and folding her arms. “No, thank you. We’re not quite there yet.” She turned away but looked over her shoulder as she walked off. “Besides, if we
did
on your ship, it would capsize.”

Freya laughed, grinning in appreciation at the line as Isabella disappeared below the deck.

IXH

Haruka’s Dream

One Hundred Years Ago

“Steady!”

“Keep that line solid!”

The shift was jarring; one moment Haruka was in bed watching Bella fall asleep, the next she was on a battlefield where two armies lined up against each other. The side she was standing on seemed more professional, though the other side was still an army and not a militia. Behind the opposing side she could see a city, meaning she was likely on the invaders’ side and the others were defending it. The other side had a good amount of cavalry and archers, with fewer foot soldiers. Noticing the lack of any firearms, Haruka thought this might be Areya.

A man with long white hair and an arrogant expression moved to the front of the army Haruka stood with, not too far from her. He rode a white horse, and was clothed in black noble’s clothing judging by how expensive it looked. Haruka moved towards him as a mage stepped up beside him, casting a spell that amplified his voice for the enemy army to hear. “You have one final chance,” he said calmly. “Stand down or you will be put down.” In response, the opposing army let forth a raucous cheer, getting themselves ready. The man sighed, looking over his shoulder. “Isabella!”

His voice was still amplified, and the enemy army actually quieted enough for Haruka to hear the armored footsteps. She reminded herself that this was something from the past, but it was still so strange when Isabella stepped out; her golden armor didn’t look as old as she knew it to, but it was still bloodstained. Her appearance was… similar, but her expression was very different, cold and detached. She really didn’t seem like she cared at all about what was going on. She moved to the front of the army, glancing at the white-haired man; he nodded and she kept walking, and Haruka went with her.

As Isabella walked the opposing army grew more nervous, but she kept the same calm pace. Haruka watched her lift her sword, grasping the hilt. “I wonder which it will be today,” she said in a voice that was… dead, for lack of a better word. There was no emotion, no investment; everything about her seemed to say that she was just going through the motions. She finally stopped in the middle of the battlefield and drew her blade. The scream was the same Haruka had heard every time she transformed, but it still made her flinch from the
obvious pain in Isabella's voice. A burst of red energy shot upwards, swirling like a tornado around her as she transformed into the demonic state, gaining the crimson eyes and blood-red hair Haruka had seen before.

Then the enemy archers let loose, obviously scared. Hundreds of arrows sailed into the air, but Isabella just rested her now two-handed sword on her shoulder and continued walking. The arrows landed around her or were deflected away simply by the energy still pouring from her. Haruka instinctively dodged arrows, even though it probably wouldn’t affect her. No one seemed to see her so she had no effect on how things played out. Suddenly Isabella sped up, starting to jog. Haruka followed her example, easily keeping up even when Bella transitioned to sprinting.

The enemy cavalry surged forward, heading for Isabella. Haruka noticed just the slightest glimmer of enjoyment in Isabella’s eyes as the knight leapt into the air, twisting and coming down to slam her blade into the earth. A massive shockwave shot out and scattered the horses, knocking most over and scaring those that weren’t. Having broken the charge, she sprinted forward again, turning into a blur, but Haruka still kept up. Isabella slid to a stop in the middle of the archer ranks. Eyes around her widened, a cry went up, and the blade moved, sending blood and viscera in all directions. Isabella moved from place to place in a macabre dance, tearing through the ranks. Haruka noticed their army charge now that Isabella had broken the cavalry and archers.

Haruka had never been in a large-scale battle, so the following bloodshed was alien to her. The slaughter was extremely one-sided and thousands lay dead in minutes. The detail that Haruka was most focused on, however, was that Isabella wasn’t laughing like some of the soldiers, or mocking the enemy. She was completely silent, her face still devoid of emotion. She appeared almost bored as she dispatched everyone that came near. Eventually she sheathed her sword and went back to her natural state, apparently having decided her part was over. She calmly walked away as the fight still raged around her, stepping over bodies or around skirmishes as if they were only minor annoyances. Nothing affected her.

Haruka decided to follow, and the next thing she knew they were in some city in the keep, as if time had jumped forward. Many soldiers sat around huge tables drinking and singing in celebration after their victory. The white-haired man was visible in a throne at one end of the huge room, sipping from a glass and smiling every time they cheered him. Isabella stood beside his chair looking as if she wasn’t even there; her mind was somewhere else entirely. Eventually she moved away and into a hallway, but stayed in sight. She leaned against the stone wall and folded her arms, crossing one leg over the other as she stared at the floor. Haruka searched for a hint of guilt, or maybe pride, or any sort of emotion, but still nothing was there, so she simply stood beside her and watched.

A young man – probably new to the army – came over at one point, grinning and offering a mug to her. “Knight-Commander Enyo, you were incredible out there!” Isabella showed no sign of even noticing his existence, so he tried again, stepping closer. “Uh, Knight-Commander?”

“Leave me alone.”

He blinked at her, stepping back. Her tone held no anger but felt dangerous nonetheless, so he left without another word. Haruka sighed, leaning her head back against the wall. She wondered if it had been this way the whole time; if Isabella had just been dead to the world for years. That was what it looked like. “Dead to life,” she said to herself.

Isabella glanced over at her. “Can I help you?”

Haruka jerked her head down, blinking in surprise. “You can see me?”

Isabella gave her an odd look. “…Yes. Why, are you trying out an invisibility spell? If so, it’s not working.”

Haruka shook off her shock. Apparently this strange dream (is that what it was?) decided she should be part of this, even though she was pretty sure it was Isabella’s memory. Magic did
some strange things sometimes, and her guess was that she was seeing this for a reason. “No.” She might as well take advantage, though. “Why aren’t you celebrating?”

“What’s there to celebrate?”

“Your victory?”

Isabella shrugged. “I’ve had a lot of victories.”

“They don’t mean anything anymore?”

“Nothing means anything.” The knight glanced at the room of people. “They can yell and shout if they want. It’s only because they’re on this side. He’s the only person who actually gains from this victory,” she said as she gestured towards the white-haired man.