Rekindle (21 page)

“Now, Ma. Don’t lie. I had very few girls.” Rhett tries to defend himself, squeezing my shoulder.

“Well, maybe not. But Micah had enough for the whole lot of you. I was worried sick from age fifteen until….well, I’m still worried sick.” She laughs lightly.

“Mrs. McCoy, if you’d just run away with me, you wouldn’t have to worry anymore,” Micah charms her.

“See! That right there. That’s what I had to deal with. It’s a wonder I still have any hair left on my head.”

“Even bald you’d be the most gorgeous woman I know.”

“Easy, man.” Rhett glares at Micah.

He smiles his charismatic Micah smile and winks at Catherine. She just rolls her eyes.

“See, now Catherine understands!” Meems pipes up. “Except you had to worry about two boys. I had to worry that my dear sweet husband was going to murder the whole population of teenage boys in Chicago.”

“Lies! All lies!” Cam shouts.

“Not even close!” Pops defends. “These two had boys chasing them, calling them, asking them out every time you turned around. Just good thing for us they had no desire to end up with those losers.”

“See, we were angels,” I say sweetly.

“Hardly,” Pops says.

I look at him with mock horror. “What do you mean? You always said we were your angels.”

“You were. You both still are. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t a test of my will to raise two teenage girls.” He laughs. “We won’t even discuss the mood swings you three put me through.”

“Please!” Cam cries. “Let’s not.”

I burst out laughing, knowing that her mood swings were as bad as mine. Both of us dealing with finding ourselves as teenagers and neither of us with a mother to help except for Meems. Pops got caught up in his fair share of screaming matches and sob fests. I don’t envy him. Not one little bit.

The evening begins to wind down. Luke and Tanner took off a little bit ago, walking Catherine out with them. Micah is getting ready to leave and he’s walking Shayna to her door.

“Meems, Pop—you two are the shit. Emma, Cam—it’s always a blast.” Micah nods at Rhett before he helps Shayna up. “I’m going to walk this lovely lady home and head out. Shay-belle, you ready?”

“Yeah, it was so nice to meet y’all.” Shayna smiles sweetly at Meems and gives Cam and me a hug.

“See ya later, doll,” I say, squeezing her tight.

“Thanks for coming, guys,” Cam says, walking them to the door.

Game night was awesome. Even though I’ve harbored this lingering anxiety all night, I was able to push it back enough to enjoy this time with my family and friends. It was complete chaos, but so much fun.

“Hey, I’m going to head down to the shop for a little while and work on some of the new pieces I have,” Cam says when she pops her head around the back door to where we’re all sitting on the patio.

“Groovy, baby,” I say in my best Austin Powers accent. “See you later tonight?”

“Yep. It’ll probably be later when I get back. Will you two be back for lunch tomorrow?” Cam asks Pops.

“You know it. Be safe, Cam.” Regardless of how old Cam and I are, Pops still worries about us every waking moment. But I’m so thankful that we both have that, and I know Cam is too when I see her eyes go soft.

“Always,” she says, leaning down to give Pops a kiss on the head. “See ya in the a.m.”

“I’m going to get a bottle of water. Need anything?” I ask Rhett as I follow Cam into the house.

“No, M. I’m good.” He smiles.

I head into the kitchen and snatch the bottle of water from Cam’s hand.

“Figured I would get out of the way and let the actual conversation commence.” She explains her sudden need to get to work.

“What actual conversation?”

“The one where Pops makes Rhett want to head for the hills.”

“Oh my God. He is not that bad!”

“Not to you! He loves you too much, which is exactly why he will be giving Rhett hell. I would pay to see it. Have fun,” she says, wagging her eyebrows and heading for the front door.

Before I open the door, I can see Pops leaning over, elbows braced on his knees, having a serious heart-to-heart with Rhett. The anxiety that I’ve been holding back starts creeping back into my veins. I can feel my hands start shaking as I reach for the doorknob. I’m not even sure why I’m so unnerved. I know that Meems and Pops will love Rhett. Hell, I know that I love Rhett. I take a deep breath and release it, trying to calm myself before walking back outside.

“So, then, why Emma?” Pops asks.

Rhett looks up at me and smiles as I take my seat next to him. His warm hand covers my knee when I sit, and I look at him expectantly, wanting to hear this answer almost as much as Pops.

“I don’t know, honestly. It’s not like I can put a finger on it. It’s like asking you why The Beatles are your favorite band. Or why O’Riley’s is your favorite pub. It just is. There is something about those lyrics that just resonate somewhere deep within you. There’s something about that pub that brings you comfort and feels like home. That’s how it is with Emma Grace. She’s it. She’s home.”

My mouth goes dry. I don’t know what I was expecting to come out of this mouth, but that definitely wasn’t it. Pops seems just as surprised.

“She’s it, huh? Well, okay then. Where does this leave the two of you in the future?”

“Together. I don’t know much more than that. The thing is, I’ve waited this long to have her. Not everyone is lucky enough for second chances. I was. I’m not going to waste it. I’m not going anywhere. Forever, right, M?” He smiles down at me again, eyes full of adoration that I don’t deserve in this moment.

I offer him a shaky laugh and a weak smile. I can’t give you more than that. I can feel my throat closing up and my palms sweating. I can tell by the shift in his demeanor that Rhett notices immediately. A few more words are exchanged between Pops and Rhett, but it all sounds like muffled noise to my ears.

Meems and Pops stand to leave, shaking hands and hugging Rhett. I get kisses to the cheek and promises of visits for tomorrow. My mind is spinning and my concentration is shot. I don’t even know how I respond to them, but it was obviously a normal enough response that they leave without a backwards glance.

I wish that I could be so lucky with Rhett, but there’s no pulling one over on him. He squats in front of me and reaches up to cradle my face in his hands.

“Breathe, M. In and out.” He speaks to me softly, trying to calm my frayed nerves.

I breathe in and out, matching his pace. His thumbs move gently across my cheeks and his hands remain firm on my neck, holding me steady.

“It’s alright, babe. Just let it out.”

My heart rate begins to calm and my vision comes back into focus. My eyes immediately settle on Rhett’s emerald gaze. It’s steady and unwavering, promptly causing tears to fall down my face.

“What’s going on, M? What has you so twisted?”

“You,” I choke out, not knowing what else to say.

He rears back like I’ve punched him. “What do you mean me?”

“I just can’t, Rhett. It’s just all right here. Too much.”

“Slow down, M&M. Break it down for me. What is going on, exactly?”

“It’s so real, Rhett.”

“Like I said before, M, we are real. This—you and me—it’s the real deal.”

“We were fun, Rhett. And love is easy when it’s fun. But there were no promises. No set-in-stone plans. No laid out future. And now it’s here and in front of me like this grandiose plan I can’t help but want, right there for the taking. And it’s beautiful and full of disappointment.”

“What the hell are you talking about, M? No promises? I’ve been promising you all along. This and that, promise after promise.”

“Those were whispered words in the bedroom, Rhett.”

“So my promises don’t mean shit to you unless they’re made in front of other people?” His anger is palpable, and I understand why he’s angry. I get it. Yet I can’t help the feeling of dread that has completely overtaken me.

“NO! God, no. That’s not what I meant. You’re completely misunderstanding me.” I’m trying to make it make sense to him, but explaining fear and disappointment to someone who isn’t experiencing it is a hard thing to do.

“Then explain it to me, dammit!” He’s yelling now.

“Reality set in, Rhett. Watching you explaining our future to Pops, like you could see it. Like you were living it. Beautiful promises and adoring words that everyone else is seeing. You want to know what I keep seeing? Broken promises. Shattered dreams. A whole life that’s been planned out to perfection, only to crash head first into destruction when it hits reality.”

“You think it’s not worth the risk? That we aren’t worth the risk? Because I can’t promise you tomorrow any more than the next person can. All I can promise is that I’ll love you through it.”

“I don’t know, Rhett. I don’t let myself plan. Or dream. I’ve had my heart broken one too many times. If it happens again, I might not survive it.”

“So what are you saying, M? Lay it out for me.”

“I’m saying I don’t know, Rhett.”

“About what? Our future, or us in general?”

“About anything.”

He stares at me for what feels like forever. His eyes roam my face, back and forth, trying to decide what to do.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“Yeah, Emma. Me too.” He brushes past me on his way through the house to leave. I turn and watch him go, and for the first time, I don’t know that he’ll be back.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Rhett

“I cannot fucking believe her. What does she take me for? Some asshole that just wants a quick lay? That’s not who I am, Tanner, and you fucking know it. I want a
life
with her. Does she want me to fucking stomp on her heart? Like some vicious animal? Is that what women want these days?” I pop the top on yet another beer. I’m starting to feel lightheaded but I need this. I need all of the events of today to just disappear, even if just for a little while.

“Rhett, dude, you need to slow down. This binge drinking isn’t going to help your situation one bit. Trust me, I’ve been where you are many times, and you told me the same shit. So I’m telling you, as your friend, that you need to chill. Now, I gotta say, Emma is a damn good woman and she loves you, Rhett. You’re lucky to have someone love you like that. She’s just spooked is all. Just be patient, and it will all fall into place,” Tanner says as he begins cleaning up my graveyard of beer and all I can do is put my head in my hands. Everything was going so well. I had no clue she felt this way. I just shake my head and pray Tanner is right.

“I’m assuming you’re crashing here, because there’s no way I’m letting you leave in this shape.” Tanner says, narrowing his eyes at me.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Would you like to take my truck keys too, Mom?”

“Don’t be a dick, Rhett, because right now I could easily knock you on your ass and there wouldn’t be a damn thing you could do about it.”

I smirk in his direction, knowing he’d never hit me, but I hold my hands up in mock surrender.

“I’m about to hit the hay, man. Want me in the spare?” I ask, getting up from the table.

“Yeah, and take these with you, because you’re definitely gonna need them,” he says, tossing me a bottle of water and some aspirin.

I make my way to the bed and plop down, releasing a huff and thinking about what else is gonna decide to go wrong. I pull out my phone and pull up M’s number, staring at her name for what seems liked forever before I decide to text her.

Me
: I hope you’re happy with yourself.

Almost instantly, my phone chimes.

Emma
: No, I’m not. Can we just talk?

Me
: There is nothing to discuss. You made it plain exactly what you think of me. I’m just a fucking game to you.

Emma
: I just want to explain. You can’t at least give me that?

Me
: No explanation needed, darlin’, because you spoke pretty plainly earlier. Why don’t you go and search for your next victim, Emma Grace, because I’m done with this indecisive bullshit.

Emma
: Why are you being so callus? What did I ever do to deserve being spoken to like this?

Me
: YOU FUCKING CAME BACK!!!

Emma
: That hurts.

Me
: Well, the truth hurts, doesn’t it?

Emma
: I’m done.

Me
: Surprise, surprise. I try to be everything for you. Everything you need. And you just all of a sudden don’t know if you want a life with me? And where does that leave me? It leaves me drunk off my ass, wondering where the fuck I went wrong. I used to think loving you was like breathing. Now I know the truth. Loving you is like dying, because I’m pretty sure that’s what’s happening to me. So congrats to you. You can officially be DONE.

I have no excuse for the words I’ve said to her, other than I’m drunk and hurt and I can’t stop the nasty thoughts invading my brain.

I throw my phone against the wall and hear it shatter into tiny pieces. If there was any chance of me talking shit out with her, I’m pretty sure I just fucked it up. Rubbing my hands down my face, I close my eyes and pray that sleep comes quickly.

But it doesn’t come, because the guilt of what I just typed weighs on me like a ton of bricks. I probably just single-handedly broke the only woman I’ve ever loved, and there’s not a damn thing I can do to make it better. She will never forgive me now. I close my eyes and finally succumb to the darkness.