Relentless Rhythm (Tempest #4) (31 page)

His breathing was irregular and labored. Soon he began to have long pauses between groups of shallow breaths. Finally, he exhaled softly, and then went still. My mom made a choking sound and threw her arms around him. We all knew. You could feel his absence without even looking at his stiff jaw or his vacant sunken gaze.

The man who’d been our pillar was gone.

Michael wept openly. John was still trying to be stoic. I gathered them both to me, each of us processing the loss differently, but we were together as a family, though a family reduced by one now.

We’d been prepared for this eventuality for the past two years, but the reality was still hard to bear, especially watching my mother grieve. She seemed to age ten years right before my eyes.

The nurse returned. There was paperwork to fill out. They covered his body. Soon someone came and rolled him away and that made my mom sob harder. I met with the representative from the funeral home. But eventually there was no more to be done.

We headed to the parking garage, I carried Michael, as much for my comfort as his. That’s where we ran into James. I took a step back, gaze sliding to the floor as guilt nearly greater than my grief slammed into me.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Brandee,” he told my mom. I sensed the sincerity in his condolence. I guess no one could look at my mom right now and not feel her pain. “Here let me, April.” He took the keys from my hand. “I’ll drive you all home.”

The boys drifted off to their rooms as soon as we got to mom’s house. I dropped my cell on the coffee table and went to the kitchen, making sandwiches for everyone and began calling the list of relatives and friends that needed to be notified. By the time I was through it was late, past the hour when I was supposed to have met Dizzy at the Mine.

I was pretty sure he’d figured out by then that I wasn’t coming. That James was back. That the brief time we’d had together was over. If my heart hadn’t already been broken, if my nerves hadn’t already been deadened by grief, the pain of that revelation would’ve been almost too excruciating to bear.

I tried to talk my mom into letting me stay the night with her, but after she and James exchanged a look I couldn’t interpret, she insisted that my place was with him.

James handed me my cell phone as we walked out the door, but didn’t speak to me on the way back. He kept his hands on the steering wheel, and I stared out at the lights wondering how I could possibly walk back into my apartment and resume living the lie with James after everything that had happened.

After we arrived, I took off my jacket and hung it on the hook in the entryway. I slid my cell out of my pocket, still hoping though I had no right, or reason, that Dizzy would’ve called or sent me a message through someone. At this point I would’ve been grateful for any crumb. Some small token or gesture to tell me that he cared and that though we were over, what we had shared had been just as real and meaningful to him as it had been to me.

Suddenly James stepped in front of me and knocked the cell out of my hand. I watched it skid across the floor, and then I was flying. I tried to grab the entry way table to break my fall, but my hands skimmed over it and the back of my head hit the wall. Hard. I blacked out for a minute, pain bursting behind my eyelids that was even worse when I came to.

Befuddled, I blinked up at James.

“I had an interesting conversation with your best friend today,” he told me his voice strangely soft, his eyes brimming with the threat of more violence.

Mel told him about Dizzy and me?
In that moment, as that truth sank in, I didn’t really care what he did to me. My best friend had betrayed me. I probably deserved it, but the pain of that realization would leave a permanent scar somewhere deep where James and his brutality had never penetrated.

He leaned down over me then, his eyes sharp as razors. “How many times you let him fuck your cunt?” he demanded.

I shook my head tears burning my eyes.

“It’s a simple question, April.” He kicked me when I didn’t answer. I felt something crack, and then I felt like I couldn’t breathe. “You’re such a stupid bitch. I bet you didn’t even realize that prick was using you. He has a thing for sticking his dick where it doesn’t belong. Don’t know why, but he seems to like my seconds for some reason. It’s creepy. First Rebecca and then you. He tell you that?”

Dizzy and Rebecca, James’ mistress?

Something split wide open inside me that hurt worse than my broken ribs as I blinked at him and saw the truth in his eyes.

“He’s one selfish motherfucker that’s for sure.” My head spun as he continued to spew his poison. I tried to hold onto the good feelings, the dream I’d had with Dizzy. But it hadn’t been real. None of it. And now it faded away as if it had never existed, leaving me with nothing.

Hot tears scorched my face.

I’d lost my father, my lover, and my best friend all in one day.

Reality, I discovered, was one mean son of a bitch, and its’ name was James.

“Aw, shit, Lace. Why the hell did you do that?”

“You stink.” She wrinkled her nose. “And I’m sick of this.” She gestured at my boxers that I might have been wearing the past several days without washing. Or had it been a week AA? The days were all starting to run together.

I’d begun to arrange events in my mind as BA and AA. Before April and After April.

“I told you once already,” my sister continued, much too loudly given my massive hangover headache. Get your shit together and your ass downstairs to help me put up the streamers for Bridget and Justin’s engagement party in the pool room.” She narrowed her eyes, amber like mine only hers weren’t bloodshot to hell. “Why do you think I kicked you? Got a guilty conscience?”

Not so much guilty as regretful. How the hell was I supposed to get over the only woman whose touch I’d welcomed? Who made me believe in things I’d once discounted. But then she ripped them away. Without warning. She’d promised, but it had been a lie.

It was Mel who had delivered the news, scooting into the barstool beside me at the Mine that night, a pitying expression on her face as she showed me the text April had sent. That it was over between us. That we were a mistake she never should have made. Basically, a repeat of what she told me herself before I’d chased after Mel earlier.

Afterward, my recall became a little hazy. I’d gotten completely shitfaced, but eventually the alcohol had worn off and it was time to swallow the bitter truth. I’d never had her, not in a way that counted, not the way I really wanted, and she wasn’t coming back.

“Get a shower, big brother.” Lace’s expression softened a bit. “And sober up and shave. You look as scary as you smell and that’s not good.”

She carefully made her way to the door, navigating around the empty cheese whiz containers and Jose Cuervo bottles. I had a very refined diet when I was on a bender. She paused to pick up the yellow pad I’d scribbled some lyrics on. I tried to get up off the couch to stop her from looking at them, but I wasn’t coordinated enough.

“This is good, Diz.” She gave me a funny look. “You’ve never written anything like this before.”

Yeah, apparently pain like a buzz saw through your sternum brought out the inner poet. Go figure. “Leave me alone,” I mumbled. “Stop busting my balls.”

“Alright,” she returned with a worried look over her shoulder. “But only when you rejoin the land of the living.”

I did my duty as de facto leader of the group. I got dressed and went downstairs pasting on a smile that was only skin deep, congratulating Justin and Bridget on their engagement only for all of us to be blindsided when more bad shit hit the fan. None of us could believe what we were seeing on the television. That War’s mother had been killed in a botched convenience store robbery.

That poor bastard
. His life was as big a train wreck as mine.

After making plans to head to Seattle with the crew later, I decided I was going to do it.

I was going to go to George’s funeral.

After all, I didn’t need to be hit on the head with a hammer at that point to realized that life was too precious and precarious not to give her…and us…one last try.

Every nerve ending I’d tried to numb flared to life as soon as I saw her. She was draped in black. So much different than the last time. Then, she’d been naked. My mouth was on her tit, and I knew she was mine. My dick stirred to life at the memory of her body.

The first hit is the most potent,
I told myself.
Surely, it’ll get easier after this
.

April hadn’t been back to work at the Mine since George had passed. I’d texted and left a message offering my condolences, but she never responded. Not that I’d really expected her to. There’d been only silence since that fateful text.

All the subtle details I’d missed before finally seeped in through the layers of denial. I’d been all in, but clearly she hadn’t been. I’d thought about going over to her apartment or out to her mom’s plenty, but Mel seemed to be always hovering around and talking me out of it. She gave me updates I didn’t want to hear, mostly about how April and James were patching things up.

I pulled my lip ring between my teeth tugging a little harder than necessary making my eyes water. I should’ve paid better attention when I’d had her. April had warned me from the beginning that when the husband came back, it would be over between us. She’d certainly been telling the truth about that.

I watched her chin lower as she accepted comfort from someone I didn’t recognize before moving toward the coffin that was raised up and ready to be lowered into the ground. I noticed how frail she seemed barely able to carry the weight of her grief. She was thinner, too. Maybe it was just the dress. But what surprised me the most was the lack of tears. Her expression was completely blank until she placed a white rose on the casket, grimacing with the movement as if her pain was more than just emotional.

The bastard. He’d probably hurt her again. Working things out my ass. The thought that James might be hurting her again made me feel ill. But what could I do about it? You couldn’t help someone who wouldn’t let you. But on the other hand who else even knew what she was suffering? Who else knew? I was here. I had to try to talk to her. I couldn’t just stand back and do nothing.

“Don’t man.” Sager pulled me back as soon as I moved forward. He and I had come to understand each other even better since April had left me and Mel had kicked him to the curb. Misery loved a full playpen for sure, and after that chilling news about War’s mom at the engagement party I doubted we were the only ones in the group reexamining our priorities.

“Let me go,” I growled, trying to shake him off. I wanted a confrontation. As if I needed another reason to want to wreak havoc on James.

“Be smart,” Sager cautioned. “It’s her father’s funeral. There’s still a ton of people left for the graveside service. How’s she gonna react if you bust in all angry and throwing punches?”

That was just it. I didn’t know. I had no idea whether she would be happy, sad, or indifferent to my appearance. All the evidence pointed toward the latter, but at least I’d have my closure. Maybe then I could move on.

Sager stayed with me until nearly everyone had left. He wished me luck and told me he’d see me later. As I crossed the street, a car nearly plowed into me. Asshole driving laid on his horn. Yeah, life was bloody fragile.
Thanks, Universe. I already got that memo.
By the time I jogged over to her she was stepping into a minivan in the parking lot.

“April,” I called.

Her head whipped around, her beautiful eyes flipping through an array of emotions in such rapid succession that I only caught the last one, the fear as her husband came around the vehicle and put his hand possessively on her shoulder.

The bastard still had her cowering, and that was enough of a reason for me to hurt him. I went straight at him, shoving him backward into the hood pleased to knock the smug look off his face.

“Whoa, cool it,” her mother demanded climbing out of the minivan just as James came up swinging. “This is my husband’s funeral. Show some respect.”