Reluctant Demon (3 page)

The stars, on the other hand, were a good idea. We could see that right away. If nothing else, it gave Him a place to put the useless planets. Earth was the only one you would take out of the closet to show company.

I remember the awe in all of us the first time we really looked at Earth. It was beautiful. The blue and green oceans were teeming with life we had never imagined.

The seas alone could have been a universe unto themselves. There in the depths of the waters were caverns so massive that they could have swallowed up any canyon on the surface of Earth. The mountain ranges deep beneath the surface dwarfed the magnificent ranges that spiraled above the land itself.

And let me tell you about the fish. Keep in mind that none of us had seen one before. To be sure, Adonai made many other life forms far more complex and interesting to look at. None of us truly appreciated the complicated engineering required to make a working model from fins, scales, and gills. He made it look simple, so naturally, we thought it was.

As far as I was concerned, this displayed an aspect of Adonai's character that defied understanding. He made thousands of them. Big, little, beautiful, funny looking, ferocious looking—every kind of fish you might imagine was there in the pristine waters of Earth. But that wasn't what fascinated me as much as the tiny ones that lived near the ocean's floor.

I couldn't believe the detail that went into making these little bitty creatures. No bigger than two or three inches at most, they lived in the coldest depths of the water, where humans would never go. Miniature works of art, painted with iridescent colors of chartreuse, aqua, green, blue, and yellow, and many of them with funny little headdresses that looked like hats made of fine feathers. Now here's why I marveled at these particular fish: W h o was going to see them? W h o would know they were there?

Nothing that lived above the waters could have descended to those depths. Not for eons could that happen, and then only in specialized craft much like what would eventually penetrate outer space. What was the point of putting so much creativity and beauty into something that no one would ever see?

Then I figured it out. He created them for Himself.

He delighted in them whether any other living thing knew about the fish or not. He made them for His own pleasure.

Adonai liked the idea of fish so much that He did something I have rarely seen either He or His Father do. For the sake of the fish, He would defy one of the natural laws He had set in place to govern this new world. As nearly as I could tell, He did it solely to protect His fish.

Simply stated, here is how this law works: objects denser than water will sink in water. Ice is denser than water and should sink, but it does not. It floats.

Why? He must have been thinking about the parts of Earth where the waters would be so cold they turned to ice. Instead of sinking to the bottom, as, say, a rock would have, the ice stays on the top of the water. He wanted to protect His fish. The ice floats on top, and the fish continue to swim about in the waters below completely unaware of the amazing thing that has happened on their behalf.

Everyone in heaven came to the show when the comets were about. They looked like balls of fire shooting through the blackness of space at enormous speeds, dragging a tail of ice behind. It was breathtaking to watch. To be candid, the first time I saw a comet, I thought Adonai must have created it as a toy. I tell you there was no limit to His flair. For example, who would have thought of making a blue sky to match the seas? Skies were black, at least the ones we had seen before.

Then one day, He got an idea for something entirely different—and totally disruptive, I might add. How can I describe it? A rift? An interruption? Out of eternity where everything had been "now," He separated "now" into "past" and "present" and "future" and named it "time." Time had a beginning and passages and an end.

Then He stepped out on the edge of time with His Father, and They observed what He had made. They liked the concept so much, They made everything else They created obedient to time. Even the universes and the stars and planets became governed by time. But the Godhead—the three of Them—were neither in time nor subject to time. And neither were we.

Time was to move forward, never backward, and at a steady pace with no sudden surges. It was then when He decided to put life on Earth. It was not going to be like anything They had done before. I don't know that we ever saw the three of Them as excited about any project as They were about this one.

We angels were not that interested in a new life form—especially if it were on one of the planets, even if it was the pretty one. That is until we found out the new life form would definitely be inferior to us and that He intended to set us as guardians over it.

Considering how things turned out, if He could do it over again, I'm pretty sure He would have made a different decision. It's His own fault that He couldn't have a do-over. If He hadn't made that law about the passing of time and that everything in time must pass with it, He could have reversed things and no one would have known the difference. But I digress.

Up until that day, we in the angelic realm never considered the notion that we could rule over anything.

But once we did think about it, it made perfect sense.

After all, we had beauty, strength, gifting, personality, intelligence, and free will. W h y shouldn't we rule something—in the proper order, of course? The three made the decisions about the affairs of Earth, and we would carry them out. At first, we never thought to do it any other way

And why would we? Our place in the universe was exalted, inferior to no other created thing, and our purpose was to do His bidding. In all of creation we were created the closest to the hearts of Yahweh and Adonai. The third member of their being, Ruah Ha Kadosh, did not actually interact with us. In fact, most times we were not really sure when He was around. He was not visible in the same ways the Father and the Son were visible. I suppose that sounds strange, but I don't mind telling you He
was
strange—mysterious even. At least it appeared so to us. It was easier to see the evidence that He had indeed been
somewhere
than to identify precisely where that
somewhere
might be. In other words, we could better point out where He
was
than explain where He
is.
But when anything important happened, He was always there.

Knowing humanity as I do, I'm certain that it's impossible for you to imagine what life was like for us before that tragic day. One of the design errors in human makeup is that history is completely wasted on you. You humans amaze us with your unquestioned belief that nothing grander than yourselves ever existed or that anything important ever happened before you came along. You really have no idea how it was.

It was much more majestic than you have imagined eternity and paradise to be. In fact, humans have such an impoverished view of what heaven is like that it amazes me that so many of you hope to go there when you die.

If paradise were no more than you seem to think it is—cloud sitting, strumming harps, and singing hymns—I can't imagine why anyone would hope to spend eternity there. W h y does that idea hold so much appeal for you, then, when nothing of the sort appeals to you now? It must be that you desire paradise only as an alternative to hell, but you are not really eager for it. Oh, but if you knew what it was really like, well, you would long for it as I most painfully do now. Neither your language nor mine is sufficient to describe heaven, so I shall not try. It is unspeakable. It is marvelous. I desperately long for the way it was when I was there with Them. But it is quite lost to me.

I wish I could explain what transpired in our hearts that dreadful day. I don't know how or why we began to change, but I do know when. From the first day we were set as celestial guardians over Earth, we were never the same. Lucifer pointed out to us that we had never before been allowed to realize our full potential, but now we were finally finding our true place. We liked being in
charge
of something. Not me, of course. No, thank you.

I didn't want the responsibility of ruling over anything, but for some of the others, it was a different thrill altogether. I won't name names, of course, but let me tell you, some of them were absolutely giddy with the taste of power. It was embarrassing. That's when they began to believe a terrible thing. I will admit that hearing them talk about the possibilities did give one a bit of a tingle—even me. Lucifer helped us imagine ourselves in lofty ways completely contrary to our nature.

"Perhaps we were made to rule," he proposed.

"Lucifer's right," someone quipped. "Why should there be only one ruler?"

"Why shouldn't we rule ourselves? W h a t in creation is more magnificent than us?"

The more they talked, the more they began to desire more than heaven. I began to wonder if we had somehow missed out on something. It wasn't long until we developed such pride in our own extraordinary selves that we started to consider how we could leave our sphere and its confinement. Lucifer was right.

"Why should there be limits for us? And who should decide what they are?" he asked.

Angels cannot handle ambition. Until Lucifer introduced us to the concept, our entire purpose for being was to carry out the plans of God; we never thought about doing anything else. Of all God had made, we were the most like Him. The heart of God was love, and He lavishly loved us. Perhaps that's why we were so foolish as to think our actions had no consequences. We had never disobeyed before. It had never been in anyone's imagination to do such a thing.

And that's how things would have remained if it hadn't been for Lucifer. It was entirely his fault. As one of the highest-ranking archangels, he had access to the throne room—something that none of the rest of us had. That's why we attached so much weight to what he said. Lucifer caused us to think about how exciting things might be if he were in charge. I don't know why, but I have to tell you there was a strange exhilaration about the idea. I found myself being swept along with the others in the excitement. Did we never once think there might be consequences for disobedience? Oh, yes, we did. But not really.

We were convinced that God's love for us was so great that it would not allow Him to bring punishment against us. Nonetheless, I was nervous.

"What if God isn't amused by Lucifer's political ideas?

What if He thinks self-rule for us is rebellion?" I asked.

"Will He just overlook it like nothing happened?"

"He can do nothing else. He is all about love, and He cannot deny His own nature," Lucifer assured us.

"Then are we safe to insist on our own way?" asked another. Lucifer nodded confidently, so we agreed that it must be true.

It was our knowledge of the depth of God's love for us that makes our betrayal all the more despicable. Oh, I know you think that you know about Lucifer. There was a time when we thought we did too. Believe me, you know nothing. You do not know his cunning or his hatred for all that lives on Earth. You do not know the extent of his willingness to corrupt, destroy, and steal.

Perhaps that is the true reason I have decided to tell you what I saw happen. Lucifer is the source of my misery. If I seem bitter at times as I recount the events that forever changed heaven and Earth, well, it is because I most certainly am. It began with the rebellion of Lucifer.

Yahweh Himself would say Lucifer was the seal of perfection. He was wise, perfect, and beautiful. He glit-tered like a star when he moved about. He was clearly God's favorite. This is why none of us could have imagined what was about to happen. Even when the summons came, we were not alarmed. We were called to assembly in the high court of heaven, but that had happened before. God often called us to assembly when He had something new to share. He wasn't looking for our input, of course. I think He liked the looks on our faces when He amazed us with His inexhaustible creativity.

"What's the meeting about?" someone asked, but no one seemed to know.

We mused out loud as to what might be in store until the Ancient of Days took His place on the judgment seat of heaven. The atmosphere changed instantly. The angel next to me whispered, "Something is wrong."

"Wrong?" I whispered back. "How can anything be wrong in heaven?"

No one dared say anything more. Without being told to do so, we fell to our knees and folded our wings at the weight of His presence.

But something really was wrong. We had not seen Him like this before. The only word I can use to describe Him is
somber.
But how could that be? He was never somber. What was there to be somber about in heaven?

We looked to Adonai for a clue, but His eyes betrayed nothing of what His Father was about to say.

Following God's gaze, I realized that Lucifer was standing alone among the kneeling angels. I nudged the angel next to me. "Tell him to bow down."

"He doesn't have to," he answered back.

"Do you see God's eyes?" I asked as quietly as possible.

The angel raised his head and saw the eyes of God sweeping across the legions bowed down before Him.

Ducking back down, he quickly tapped the wing of the angel next to him, starting a moving line of nudges and whispers for Lucifer to bow down, but he would not.

"He isn't going to do it," the angel answered.

"Make him," I blurted out.

"Make him?" he asked incredulously, as if I had suggested some ridiculous thing, which, I suppose I had. Certainly none of us could make an archangel do anything.

"Then tell him to go stand by himself." I eked out the words and lowered my head as the cherubim who went before God ceased moving and lay flat on their faces as Omnipotence rose from His seat. Peering directly into Lucifer's eyes, as if no one else were in the room, God the Father opened His mouth to speak. The tone in His voice was heavy beyond bearing as He said to the archangel, "From the day of your creation, you were sheer perfection. Now look at what you have become. Evil has been found in you."