Remember the Night: a Heroes of the Night military romance novel (6 page)

The warmth from Cody's hand both comforted and frightened Evelyn. He had an uncanny way of slipping through the hairline fractures in her façade and forcing her to look in a mirror to see her real self. She both liked and hated that about him. The moon, not quite full but enough to provide picturesque ambience, lent a romantic air to her attempt at a relaxing walk.

Cody in such close proximity proved anything but relaxing.

Drawing in a deep breath, she exhaled the air slowly and focused on the lapping waves over her bare feet.
Better.
"Sorry about tonight."

He lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of hers. "No, you're not. Hell, I'd be sorely disappointed if you really were sorry."

She smiled but didn't look at him. "You're right. I'm not."

He chuckled, and they continued to walk. "I'm sorry I manipulated you into playing."

This time she laughed. "No, you're not."

"You're right. I'm not."

After several more minutes of walking, she stopped and turned to him. "What is it you want from me, Cody?"

His brows furrowed, and he blinked rapidly. "Tonight?"

"Tonight, tomorrow, next month?" She sat at the water's edge and extended her legs. The rhythmic in and out of the waves helped calm her thoughts. "My life is complicated right now. I don't have time for anything new or to add another layer of complexity. I can't do that to the boys." She looked at him. "I can't do that to myself."

Her breath caught as he sat next to her, close enough that their thighs touched. Hard to concentrate or remember why she'd said the things she did when he was this close.
That's why.

"Tonight, I'd like to enjoy a nice walk on the beach with you. Tomorrow, I'd love to do a fun activity, swimming, Jet Skiing, boogie boarding…anything, really, with you and the boys. Next month… I don't know."

"That's the problem. You don't know where you're headed or what you're going to do with your life." She turned and looked at him. "Are you even out of the army? If I understand what Daniel has said about tours and such, how long he's known you, and other details, don't you have a few months left yet?"

Cody's gaze held hers for an eternity before the spell broke. The material of his T-shirt obscured his face from her, revealing dark, beautiful skin as he removed the garment. The moon slipping behind a cloud dimmed the light, reducing her visibility even further. He grabbed her hand and lifted it to his chest, a couple inches from his heart.

The marred flesh pierced her emotional control, and tears sprang to her eyes. "You were shot again?"

"Yeah. Uncle Sam decided I should finish my service stateside. I'll be working at the local recruiter's office in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I have about forty-five days to serve when I get back from leave."

Forcing her stare away from the injured flesh, she lifted her gaze to those dark, troubled eyes. Anger and pain warred for dominance in the fathomless depths. Was there more to this story? The temptation to lean over and kiss the wounded area stirred deep within her soul. The raw power and heat radiating off him drew her deeper and deeper into the moment. She knew what his body felt like, both over and under her. Desire wrapped around each nerve ending, setting her body on fire. A wave crashing onto shore broke the spell. She couldn't do this. Not here. Not now. Not again.

Instead of giving in to temptation, she traced her fingertips along the affected area, trying not to acknowledge the rippling muscles along with the rise and fall of his broad chest. She needed to get the conversation back on track. Needed to remember why this was a bad idea. "I'm so sorry you were hurt. Maybe it's for the best that you won't be where people can shoot you."

He jerked away from her touch. "Doesn't mean I still can't be hurt."

Frustration rippled through her, shredding any remaining strands of desire and tossing them into the tide. She stood abruptly and looked at her nemesis. "Dammit, Cody. I'm trying to not hurt you again. Don't you get that? Last time I let my feelings get the best of me. Feelings and those damn hormones. That night I spent with you in India was me being selfish. I wanted to feel loved, needed, and desirable again.
You
made me feel all those things. Do you understand?" She forced the air from her lungs, trying to remain calm and in control. "I want to feel those things again, but I can't. My life is even more complicated than before."
More like damaged goods.
"You need a woman who can give you the love and happiness you deserve and not hurt you."

The moon came out from its hiding place in the clouds and illuminated his bronzed body, sculpted chest, abs, and the bullet wounds. The fathomless darkness of his eyes held her gaze on him for longer than she'd planned, but she was tired of being so strong.

"Wounds heal, and the memory of the pain fades." His words were spoken so softly she could barely hear them over the crashing of the waves.

She shook her head slowly. "The wounds on the inside hurt far worse than those we can see." This she knew from experience. "You deserve better." She wiped a single tear from the corner of her eye. "Far better than the mess of a woman I've become."

She allowed herself one final look at the picture of marred perfection before turning to walk away. With each step, more moisture gathered in her eyes. She hated being weak. Hated being needy. Hated the course of her life at the moment. Her feet picked up their pace. From a walk, to a jog, to an all-out run. Images of Nathan with the woman who'd taken him away from her, the disapproving glare of her mother, the disappointment on her sons' faces, and the tattered remnants of her cloak of perfection. Each one a painful reminder of her screwed-up life.

Her lungs burned with the need for oxygen. Great, out of shape too. Her pace faltered, and she stumbled to the ground. Instead of the sand greeting her, a soft body…well, not too soft, cushioned her fall. The sweat-slicked skin smelled earthy, and she knew without even opening her eyes who had caught her.

"I've got you, Ev. I've got you."

Months of anger, frustration, sadness, and countless other emotions erupted from the tight hold she'd kept on them. She turned in to his embrace, allowing the tears to flow and bathe his chest with the evidence of her pain. The strength of his arms surrounded her as he whispered comforting, nonsensical words that reached into her swirling emotions and stilled them with nothing more than his voice.

One minute or twenty could have gone by. She wasn't sure. She drew a ragged breath, feeling better than she'd felt since finding Monique and Nathan in bed together. Though, truth be told, her marriage had been over long before that. Wiping her eyes, she pulled away from his body. "Sorry. I'm not in the habit of having a breakdown in front of others."
Or ever…

His hands, slightly calloused, wiped the remaining evidence of the break in her composure away from her face. "I'm not just anyone. You're safe with me."

She closed her eyes, not wanting to see the pain in his eyes. Leaning forward, she kissed him on the forehead. "Thank you for being here for me tonight." She stood, followed quickly by his rise to stand next to her. "But this doesn't change anything."
Just one kiss.

Her lips brushed his, and she sought to memorize every millisecond of the moment.

A girl could get lost in the dangerous combination of Cody's strength and softness. "Take care of yourself, soldier. I'll figure out how to take care of me."

She'd done it again. Pulled him in and then, with a quick jerk of his heart, shut him out. This lesson was taking him too damn long to learn. For a brief moment, he'd considered chasing after her. He had his pride. Didn't he? His pursuit of her defied logic. Life had been so chaotic over the past few years, and he was a few months away from returning to the comfort of life after the army. He should be running away as fast as possible from the turmoil of her life. Instead of chaos, her presence centered him unlike anything—anyone—else had ever done.

"What are you doing out here? Are you hurt?" Sam's voice pried into his self-reflection.

Am I hurt?
"Just taking a walk." No point in involving anyone else in this mess.

"Alone?"

The tone of the other man's voice led Cody to believe he already knew the answer to the question. He was tired of playing games. "None of your damn business. What are you doing out here?"

"Going for a run."

"Don't you ever get tired of running and ending up back at the same place?"

Sam plopped onto the sand, and Cody joined him. Why not? He already had sand in places there shouldn't be, and a cold shower moved to the top of his to-do list when he got back to the villa.

He looked over at his comrade and friend. "Seriously, Sam. You run countless miles every day, every week, and basically go nowhere."

The waves crashed onto shore at least three times before Sam answered. "Each time I run, I learn something new—about myself, about others, or about the world around me. I may physically end up in the same place I started, but I'm not the same person. Does that make sense?"

Cody chuckled. "Surprisingly, it does. You're pretty smart when you want to be. Maybe I should take up running."

"You should. Helps clear the head."

Spending the night in Evelyn's arms would help clear his head. "I'll think about it."

Three more waves crashed in. "You've got it bad for her, don't you?"

Cody closed his eyes, wishing for the thousandth time… What did he wish? Not that he'd never met her, that wasn't true. The night they spent together topped the charts for one of the best times in his life. He couldn't wish that way. No, he simply wished she'd realize he could be a part of her life if she'd just let him. He stood and then pulled Sam up. They started walking back to the villa.

After several feet, Cody explained. "Bad doesn't even begin to describe it."

Once they'd made it back to the villa, he showered and changed into a fresh pair of shorts. The quiet house indicated the spirited game of volleyball must've worn everyone out. He grabbed his sketchpad and a beer from the fridge before making himself comfortable on a lounge chair on the patio.

He drew long sips of the beer before setting it aside. His stomach knotted. Waiting for the call from the review board tested what little patience he had left. His JAG lawyer assured him the decision would be favorable, but shit happened all the time to mess up assurances. A misstep here could land him in the brig, extending the remaining six weeks of duty to a much longer time in service. The muscles in his jaw ached from grinding his teeth. Rolling his neck a couple of times to alleviate the cords of tension, he decided to try another avenue of relaxation. Even with the moonlight, it was too dark to draw anything in his line of sight, so he opted to turn inward and sketch from memory.

Starting with her eyes, he narrowed them in concentration. The lines of her face were drawn tight with determination. The blonde hair pulled tight above her head matched the severe demeanor she carried with her a majority of the time. Occupational hazard maybe? He moved lower to the long line of her neck. Sweet Jesus, how he loved losing himself in that curve.
And other curves.
The woman had a lot of great curves.

Speaking of those curves, his fingers trembled slightly as he transferred her likeness in the bikini to the page. His eyes closed, focusing on each small detail. Taking a detour into the past, he remembered her body over his…those beautiful breasts filling his hands, his mouth and sweeping him away to forbidden pleasure. Damn, another cold shower needed to occur before bed.

Since the cold water treatment would be visited upon him soon, he indulged in another guilty pleasure. With great care, he retrieved the drawing he'd sketched of Evelyn that night they were together in India. The edges were worn and the lines slightly smudged, but it still captured perfectly how he remembered her. Though the curves of the image called to him, it was her face—unguarded in sleep—that captured his attention the most.

He finished off his beer, and with one final caress of the sketch, he returned it to the envelope attached to the inside of the sketchpad and headed to bed. Tomorrow was a new day. A day which he didn't doubt for a second would have him running the same path, chasing after Evelyn. The question was—would he learn from it or keep repeating the same mistake over and over again?

"Hey, sleepyhead, glad you could make it. Better grab a cup of joe and a quick bite. Van is leaving in a few." Daniel's cheery voice indicated either he'd slept better than Evelyn or he simply didn't require rest.

Cody shot Daniel a look but said nothing. Evelyn buried her face in a steaming mug of hot coffee, unsure of how the episode last night would affect their interaction today. She didn't break down in front of others for a reason—she didn't want their pity.

Turning to her sister, she kept the conversation focused on the day's activities. "What's on the agenda for today, besides a van ride?"

Mel's smile brightened her eyes at least a couple notches.

She's so happy.

"The van will drop us off at the dock where the catamaran is located. We'll cruise on the water for a couple of hours. The booking agent promised great music, dancing, whatever you want to do, and then we'll dock at an island for some beach time and a meal prepared by the captain of the boat and his crew. There are activities to do and," her eyes lightened to the brightest green, "there are some architectural ruins located on the island as well."

Evelyn smiled at her sister's enthusiasm while trying to contain the sigh wanting to escape. While the kids would enjoy all the activity, she really wanted some peaceful, quiet downtime to relax and figure out the next steps in her personal life.
Not in the cards today.
"Why don't I keep an eye on Annie for you so you and Daniel can explore?"

Her sister leaned over and pulled her into a big hug. "You're the best, Ev. Thank you."

Evelyn turned to Michael and Jason. "Finish your breakfast, and let's get our bag packed. We'll need lots of sunscreen."

Sam lifted the coffeepot and poured the steaming liquid into Cody's cup. "Lydia and Bruce are heading into town if you'd rather stay here today. Maybe go for a run on the beach or jog in town?"

Evelyn's gaze shot to Cody. Why would he not want to go? He loved being on the water. Sam must've seen him on the beach last night, and he'd told him what happened.

Great, now they'll both hate me.

Cody smiled up at Sam and shook his head before his gaze came to rest fully on her. "Nah, no new running paths for me. I'll stick with what I know."

Sam shrugged and returned the pot to its rightful place. "Suit yourself."

She had no idea what the exchange between the two men meant, nothing to do with exercise though. What bothered her even more was she had no idea why his decision to come and spend the day with them, with her, flooded her body with a sense of relief rather than disappointment. There would be plenty of time for reflection later. For now, motherhood duties called.

An hour later, the wind whipped through her hair while the sunshine brightened both the sky and her mood. The speed, the wind, and the carefree feeling of surging over the water added to her sense of contentment and joy. The euphoria from the ride fueled her curiosity, and she decided to take the advantage her dark sunglasses gave her. She could do a cursory glance at everyone without being overt. Jason and Annie were sitting on the deck area playing with some sand toys they'd brought along for later. Mel and Daniel were sprawled out on the netting portion of the boat, soaking up some serious vitamin D. Natalia and Michael were sitting on the edge, watching the water go by and pointing at different boats or sea creatures they swore were lurking in the water. Since Bruce and Lydia had opted for a quiet day shopping, that left only Sam and Cody.

She swallowed hard at the perfect specimen of man Cody made. His shirt had been tossed into a bag almost the moment they set sail. The first application of tanning oil made the muscles on his chest and arms gleam in the sun's rays. By the time this day was over, he'd be nothing short of a bronzed god.

Get a grip.

Her light skin would most likely be lobster red, even with multiple applications of SPF50.

Though his muscles looked like cords of steel, she knew from firsthand experience how comforting and supportive they felt around her.

Enough already!
"Jason, come here, and let me put a little more sunscreen on your face. You don't want to get burned."

"Aww, Mom." Though he complained, he still moved over to her and wrinkled his nose as she applied a generous layer.

"Annie, come over here, and let me get some on you, too. You're a fair princess, and we want to protect that pretty little nose of yours."

The young girl skipped over to her and smiled. "Just like you, Auntie Ev."

Evelyn blinked rapidly, not wanting any moisture to escape at the young girl's sweet words. "Oh, sweetie, it's been a long time since anyone has thought of me as a fair princess." And her life stopped being a fairy tale many years ago.

"All done. You both can go back and play now. We should be there shortly."

"Good, cause I'm starving!" Jason put his hand over his tummy for added effect.

She tousled his brown mop of hair. "You're always hungry. I think you eat more than your brother."

Michael cut her a look at the statement but, for once, didn't argue with her. He shrugged at Natalia, smiled, and went back to doting on her while trying to appear nonchalant. Ah, to be young again.

The boat docked, and the kids were off first. She caught up to Daniel and Melodie. "You two have fun exploring. I've got the kids."

Melodie enveloped her in a big bear hug. "Thanks, Ev. We'll watch the kids one night for you if you want to go out."

Evelyn accepted Annie's beach bag and watched Daniel share the good news with Annie.

"Yay! I get to play with my brave knight instead of looking at boring stuff."

Her outburst sent a ripple of laughter through the adults. Annie didn't seem to care as she grabbed Jason's hand and scoured the beach until she led him to a nice-looking area of sand. Evelyn located a beach chair nearby and arranged everything in a logical order. She'd just settled in when Cody came and sat next to her. Any relaxing thoughts she'd started to entertain dissipated the moment his coconut-oiled thigh touched hers.

Thankfully, she didn't drool. When she looked up, Michael and Natalia were standing right by him.

Cody grinned and lowered his lashes. He looked about twelve. "So, Mom. I…" he looked up at the two youngsters, "we were wondering if I could take the kids Jet Skiing."

Her heart thudded, and her mouth went dry for not one but two reasons. Jet Skis were dangerous, and the thought of her "baby" riding on one set every single one of the one hundred billion neurons—a detail provided to her by Melodie after she did a research paper in college on the subject—on edge.

The image of Cody straddling one of those powerful machines off the coast of Marina Beach sent at least ninety percent of those neurons streaming to key areas under her bathing suit, making it hard to concentrate from the residual tingling. Somewhere in the general buzzing of her body, the "mom" gene found a voice. "I don't know. Those machines are dangerous."

"Told you…" Michael muttered under his breath.

Cody glanced at him. "Give me a few minutes with your mom."

The younger man nodded and with a huff, shuffled off to play in the waves.

"I don't want to be the bad guy here," she started.

"Hear me out."

She sighed. Saying no to him proved difficult, if not impossible. So close, so sexy, and so… "I'm listening."

"The kids are too young to ride by themselves, so we'll rent one Jet Ski, and they'll take turns riding with me. I promise not to do anything reckless." He cocked his head to the side and offered a small smile. "Uncle Sam trusted me to protect our nation, maybe you can extend a little trust for an hour or so?"

Irresistible. That was the other word. Close, sexy, and irresistible. Pretty much summed it up. She'd always had a hard time telling him no.
Except last night.
Today would prove another mark in the win column for him. "You give me your word you'll be careful."

The small smile expanded to a wide grin. "Yes, ma'am."

She fought the bubble of laughter at his use of the damned word again. Instead, she grabbed a handful of sand and tossed it at his chest. Maybe if she messed up the perfectly applied oil, he'd be easier for her to resist the next time.
Doubtful.
"Michael!"

Her son turned in her direction. The look on his face indicated he fully expected her to say no.

"You and Natalia come here, please."

With an exaggerated sigh, he traipsed the short distance to her chair. "What?"

How she loved teenage attitude. "As long as you both follow all the instructions Cody gives, you may ride on the Jet Ski with him."

The annoyed face morphed into surprise and then happiness. He leaned over and gave her a big hug.

She couldn't remember the last time he'd done that.

"Thanks, Mom." He looked at Cody. "Thank you, too. I promise we'll listen. Right, Nat?"

Nat? Where had that come from?

The young girl smiled. "Right. Thank you, Ms. Alexander."

Evelyn grinned and shook her head. "Thank me by coming back in one piece."

Cody smiled at her and nodded. "I promise, one piece." He set his bag down beside her. "Okay if I leave this here? Nothing super valuable in there besides my cell and my sk…my wallet."

She scrunched her face up. He was going to say something besides wallet, but either way, it didn't matter. Her curiosity paled in comparison to her sister's, and whatever was in Cody's bag—none of her business. "Sure, no problem. I'll guard it from any wily creatures that may be skittering about."

The three adventurers laughed and headed off in the direction of the rental slip. For a moment, she considered tallying up how many contests between her and Cody she'd managed to win but then thought better of it. She didn't need a detailed list to know she'd come out on the low end of that comparison.

Her eyes closed as she pictured the sun gleaming off Cody's golden body. Sometimes, losing wasn't so bad.