Remember to Forget, Revised and Expanded (12 page)

She reaches into the bag again and
hands me some Skittles. I eat all the red ones first, like I always do.

“Is red your favorite?” she asks.

I nod. I look down at my hand, which now has rainbow spots all over it.

“Me too. I guess we have more in common than we thought, huh?”

I shrug and toss another Skittle into my mouth.

I hate to admit it, but Delilah isn't so bad after all. She may have been one of
the reasons why I stopped taking the pills, but she's a reason to keep taking them
now.

When she says she has to leave, I actually want her to stay.

Chapter Fifteen

LEVI

M
y dad walks into my room around ten o'clock the next morning to check in on me.

“How are you feeling?” he asks quietly while he stands in the doorway.

I sit up in bed and shrug.

“Do you feel up to going out for some breakfast? I thought it would be nice to get
out of the house, maybe,” he says, walking into my room.

I run my hands through my hair and nod. Going out for breakfast would be nice .
. .

I hesitantly nod. My dad smiles widely.

“Great! Whenever you're ready, we can go.”

I know my dad is trying to be a real father and make up for all the time he lost.
I think he feels bad about my situation, like most people do. Maybe he thinks some
of this is his fault, and that's why he's always trying so hard. It's no one's fault
but my own. I hope he knows that.

I slowly pick myself up out of bed and get dressed. When I'm ready, I walk into the
kitchen to find my dad sitting at the table with his car keys in his hand.

“All set?” he asks.

I nod.

He walks outside to the car, and I follow behind. I have no idea where we're going
or what restaurants are around here, besides the one Delilah took me to. I wonder
if I'll ever really get to know my way around here. I doubt it. I won't be here long
enough. I'm almost certain that the longest I'll be here is two months. I probably
won't get better or my dad won't be able to handle me. Either way, I know I'll be
back in Australia soon, facing the same problems I had when I left.

My dad talks a little during the car ride, but mostly it's silent besides the humming
of the tires on the pavement and the radio softly playing music.

“We kind of need to discuss what happened yesterday some more,” my dad says abruptly.

I sigh and type into my phone, “What about it?”

“If you're ever feeling bad, I don't want you to just leave like that. You can talk
to me, or we can go to Candace if she's free. Your mum is also just a phone call
away, or in your case probably a text.”

I nod. Then I realize he's driving and has his eyes on the road, so I type some more.
“Okay. I won't do it again.”

“You can say you won't do it again, but how can I be sure?”

I form my lips into a straight line and take a deep breath. “You can trust me.” I
don't even know if I can trust me. I want to, but there's always some doubt.

“I want to trust you, I do. It's just . . .”

I know it's hard to believe me. I keep on making mistakes that make me less and less
reliable. I can't help it. Things just keep happening, and I can't stop them.

“I promise. If I run away again, you can send me to a facility here or something.”
I know I shouldn't be making this promise. I shouldn't have even said it. I regret
pressing speak the second I hear it. Now I can't run away again. I refuse to go to
another psychiatric hospital.

My dad smiles a little. “I believe you.”

Great. Now I know he's going to remember this forever.

“I wouldn't send you to a facility, don't worry,” he says. “But just the fact that
you said that makes me believe you, considering your mum told me how much you disliked
the one in Sydney.”

I feel somewhat relieved when he says that.

I look out the window at people, watching mothers push their babies in strollers
and kids walking their dogs. I notice two familiar people walking out of a store.

“Hey, there's Aiden and Delilah!” my dad says happily, noticing them at the same
time I do. “Wanna invite them for breakfast?” he asks. Before I have any chance to
respond, he pulls over and rolls down his window. “Delilah! Aiden!”

“Hi!” Aiden says. Delilah waves.

“We're going to get some breakfast, want to join us?” my dad asks.

I roll my eyes and place my head in my hands.

Delilah looks at Aiden, and they converse for a few seconds.

“Yeah, we'd love to,” Aiden says.

“We're going right there,” my dad says, pointing to a building that's a little farther
down the road.

“Okay, we'll meet you there,” Aiden says. They get into their cars, and we all head
to the restaurant.

I don't really want to have to sit through a breakfast with everyone. I'm slightly
embarrassed over what happened yesterday and don't feel like facing them both today.
They probably think I'm insane. They probably don't even want to go to breakfast
with us—they're just being nice.

We pull up to the restaurant, with Delilah and Aiden close behind us. We are seated
at a table in the corner, away from everyone else, which is good. It's a little more
private in case they bring up yesterday's events. No one will be able to overhear.
It's bad enough that three people have seen me in such a rough state; I don't need
other people hearing about it.

“This place has really good scrambled eggs if you like those,” Delilah tells me.
She's sitting across from me. I'm next to my dad, and she's next to Aiden.

I nod.

I end up ordering the scrambled eggs.

“So, are you feeling better now?” Aiden asks. There it is. The question I've been
waiting for.

I nod.

“Okay, good. We were worried!” Aiden says. Delilah smiles at me.

I shrug and smile a little. They shouldn't have been worried about me. I don't like
when others worry about me or my problems. They're
mine
, so I should be the only
person worrying.

Our food comes out shortly after we order. Delilah was right, the eggs are good.

Just yesterday, I had been running away from Delilah, and here I am now, sitting
across from her. I notice that she only takes small bites of her food and stirs her
coffee before every sip. She notices me smirking when she stirs her coffee for probably
the tenth time.

“What?” she asks, raising her eyebrows suspiciously.

I shake my head quickly and wave my hand to dismiss her.

“Okay . . .” She laughs a little, stirs her coffee some more, and takes a sip.

Aiden and Delilah aren't that bad. I first saw them as annoying, and I think I was
kind of hoping I wouldn't like them. But there really isn't any reason to dislike
them—and I've tried to find ways. They cared enough to help find me yesterday, and
now we're eating breakfast together. When my dad invited them out with us, I was
kind of mad. Now, I honestly don't mind it too much. I can't think of too many people
who would willingly spend time with someone like me.

I wonder if it will last, or if they'll just give up on me like everyone else.

Chapter Sixteen

LEVI

L
evi, stop eating the candy! We have to save it for trick-or-treaters!” my dad says,
laughing and slapping my hand out of the bowl. I toss a piece of candy into my mouth
and shrug.

Halloween never really interested me. I always just stole a bag of candy from my
mum and hid it in my room. It was easier than going through the hassle of finding
a costume that I'd only wear once.

“Do you want to give out candy or have me do it?” my dad asks.

I point to him. I don't want to be standing here all night giving out candy. I'll
probably watch some scary movies or sleep.

Caleb stands beside me, flexing in the mirror.

“What are you doing?” I ask him, trying not to laugh.

“I'm punk rock, I'm acting tough,” he yells.

I burst into laughter, and Caleb glares at me. “Putting on a fake tattoo sleeve and
wearing eyeliner doesn't make you punk rock.”

“Excuse me, it's called guyliner.”

“Who are you even dressed as?” I ask him, still laughing.

“I've told you! Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day!”

“Then you can walk a lonely road trick-or-treating down your boulevard of broken
dreams, because no one will know who you are.”

“Shut up. You're dressed as a penguin!”

“My penguin is cute,” I pout. I cross my arms over my chest as best as I can since
I'm in a full penguin suit. “And Delia is going as one too.”

“How adorable,” Caleb says sarcastically.

“You're just jealous,” I say, walking out of the room. I end up stepping on the
fabric that's covering my foot and falling down.

“Looks like wittle Levi has to learn to waddle,” Caleb says in a baby voice. He starts
cracking up and holds on to his stomach as he laughs.

“I hate you,” I mumble, my voice muffled since I'm face-first in the carpet. Even
I start to laugh at myself.

Delia walks in and sees me on the floor. “Did he fall again?” Even without seeing
her, I can tell she's smiling.

Caleb nods, still laughing.

“You'd think a sixteen-year-old would be able to walk with ease,” she says, giggling.

“I can't help it. I tripped on the fabric.”

“You're such a dork,” Delia says.

“But I'm your dork,” I say, smiling cheesily.

That was last year, when I was forced to go trick-or-treating. It ended up being
a lot of fun, even though I was mistaken for a twelve-year-old boy in my costume.

Someone knocks on the door, so I grab a handful of candy since my dad is upstairs.
It's still really early for kids to start coming, but maybe Americans start earlier.

I open the door to reveal a smiling Aiden and Delilah. I wasn't expecting them to
be here.

“Happy Halloween!” Aiden shouts, walking inside. He shoves a bag into my hands. “That's
your costume. We guessed on the size, but it should fit.”

What? They got me a costume?

I stare at the bag, not moving. I'm kind of shocked. I wasn't planning on going out
tonight. I especially wasn't planning for them to show up with a costume for me.

“C'mon! Look at it!” Aiden says.

I look into the bag and pull out the costume. It's a giant bag of Skittles. I hold
it up in the air, holding back a smile. I bite on my lip ring and hold the costume
tightly.

“Do you like it?” Delilah asks.

I nod very fast.

“We were so nervous you would hate it! Let's go get ready then!” Delilah says, a
grin growing on her face.

She runs into the bathroom, Aiden goes downstairs, and I go into my room. I put the
costume on over the clothes I already have on. It fits perfectly. Caleb would find
this hilarious. I decide to take a picture and send it to him. He responds almost
immediately, which I didn't expect. It's not Halloween in Australia—it's already
early tomorrow morning.

Caleb:
Hahahaha! Wish I was there to see it.

I smile and put my phone in my pocket, which is quite hard since I have the Skittles
costume on.

I've hung out with Delilah and Aiden a few times since we all went out for breakfast.
I'm not sure if we're friends; maybe acquaintances. They live close by, and they
always seem to be showing up at my house randomly. And they're starting to grow on
me.

I walk out of my room and Aiden is standing in the living room. He's dressed as a
giant banana.

“We're going with the food theme,” he says, referring to our costumes.

Delilah walks out dressed as a hot dog. She looks upset, and Aiden starts laughing.

“Aiden, you told me you got me an ice cream cone, not a hot dog,” Delilah pouts.

“What's the fun in ice cream? This way I can call you hot, dawg,” Aiden tells her,
laughing even more.

Delilah rolls her eyes, but I can tell she's trying not to laugh too. “You're so
weird!” She slaps his arm.

I wonder if they're dating or just friends.

My dad walks into the room and smiles. “I thought you had no plans tonight, Levi.”

“We surprised him!” Aiden says, still rubbing the spot where Delilah hit him.

“Let me go get my camera! You all look great!” My dad runs off into his room, quickly
returning with his camera. “Go stand over there, the lighting is good!” He pushes
us all to one side of the room. “Levi, smile just a little, please.”

I smile—not a teeth smile, but I smile. I notice Delilah quickly look up at me and
back at the camera before the photo is taken. She puts her arm around me and her
other arm around Aiden, since she's in the middle. I look down at her, and she beams.
I hesitantly wrap my arm around her too.

“Perfect!” my dad says, taking the picture.

“Okay, let's go then!” Aiden says, grabbing three pillowcases and giving one to each
of us.

We walk outside, the sun still slightly setting. We get some weird looks from younger
kids that we pass.

“Are you a banana?” a boy dressed as a pirate asks Aiden.

“Yes.”

“That's stupid.”

“Actually, bananas are quite delicious. They are also high in potassium and magnesium.
They'll help stop your poop too, young boy,” Aiden says in all seriousness.

“You're weird,” he says, walking away.

Delilah starts laughing and so does Aiden. I can't believe he just said that.