Reshaping It All (2 page)

• I mop my floors often because our dogs like to swim in the pool then come in the house wet with mud on their feet—and let's not forget the feathers!

• I'm a stain-removal fanatic, and I'm good at it!

• And like everyone else—I hang out at Starbucks!

Yes, in many ways my life is ordinary, but it's also EXTRAordinary because of my relationship with the Most High God.

I pray this book will be more than a weight-loss book and far more than my testimony. I pray that by it faith will be your compass in this journey through weight loss to freedom, as it has also been mine. Not only is God wanting to walk this journey with you; He is ready to equip you to handle the job.
Why?
Because He is "able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us" (Eph. 3:20 NKJV). And besides that, He cares so deeply for you that even the hairs on your head are numbered.

I've known God since the age of twelve, but even though I called myself a "Christian" and said the "sinner's prayer," I wasn't living like one. It's different now. Today, rather than just walking alone under the umbrella of grace, I desire to walk there in fellowship with Him—a fellowship that has led me on a journey to freedom in Christ.

I've made many decisions about work because of my Christian walk. I've turned down several TV series to stay at home and raise my children. I've also turned down other roles because of content issues I feel strongly about.

I never thought I'd be someone who'd have the opportunity to speak at churches and share
my
testimony with thousands of people, but I can see now how God is using the success of
Full House
to reach millions of people for Him. How cool is that?

It's not every day that an opportunity like
Full House
comes along, but it did, and I'm glad that I was there to be a part of it all. I loved every day that I spent growing up in front of the camera and working on the set with the others. Acting always has and always will be a passion of mine. However, once family came along, I felt a desire to adjust my priorities.

Marrying an NHL hockey star and having three kids will change anyone's life, and it changed mine immensely. Suddenly I went from being a television star living in Hollywood to starring in my own role as a wife and mother at home with my kids. Because I love my career, the decision to be a stay-at-home mom was a tough one. We were living in Calgary, my oldest child Natasha was born, and I had started meeting with agents in LA again. After being in LA for a week and a half, I realized I was miserable. I hadn't seen my husband Val in ten days, and by the time I'd get home each night, Natasha was already asleep. Anyone who's a mom knows how tough that can be!

Shortly after returning home, Val and I sat down for a talk, and I poured out my thoughts.

Val's response was more than sympathetic, supportive, and encouraging, which was exactly what I needed to hear. While he had been fully supportive of my dreams, part of him quietly hoped I'd come to this conclusion. This reassurance that we were on the same page was great. We both looked forward to the opportunity it offered me to attend his games and keep cheering him on.

Both Val and I have never had a single regret in making our decision. I love working, but I also love the fact that God nudges us along through the seasons of our lives into unexpected places.

That season of my life was wonderful in so many ways; I was a young woman ready to open a new chapter in my life as a wife and a mom. The smile on my face went a long way, but at times it was covering a lot of insecurities and unknowns in my life. It was a season of blessings and a season of struggle, and during that time I took my first steps into the cycle of bulimia.

It started in Montreal. I was nineteen, engaged, and living with Val—as a good Christian girl ought not to do. Perhaps if I had been living and walking in faith, I wouldn't have started the cycle of binging and purging. But I did. One would expect that my situation had everything to do with the pin-thin expectations of Hollywood—the desire that so many starlets have to be thin. After all, I did fit the role of DJ Tanner, the sister with the Charlie Brown cheeks, who once went on a crash diet herself. But no, that wasn't me.

It had nothing to do with body image or trying to lose weight but had everything to do with adjustment and fear. As I prepared for marriage, had stopped working (as I had been since I was five), and was living in a foreign city, I felt that I had nothing left of my old life to turn to for balance. I was thrown (albeit, happily) into a world I knew nothing about—a housewife, a hockey wife, and soon after, a mom.

Loneliness set in during those years when Val was on the road, as it does for most hockey wives. We enjoyed wonderful summers together, but his time with the NHL essentially felt like a six-month road trip, at which time I was alone. Had it not been for our telephone calls two to three times a day, I don't know what I would have done.

What I did do is binge. There's something oddly comforting about food or, better said,
the thought of food
that tricks our minds into believing that it can and will fill our void. And so I listened to the lie hoping that it too would fill mine. In the beginning I only did it when Val was on the road—when I was by myself: me, the TV, and my food. One bite, one mouthful, one spoonful, then two . . . until I was disgusted with the amount I'd consumed. Hoping to undo my discomfort and guilt, I would purge.

With all things bad, the more you do it, the more you get wrapped up in it. Thus it started happening when I wasn't alone—until I finally got caught.

There it was, out in the open. I stood face-to-face with my dad, watching him tear up as he discovered my shame. I knew he was afraid and worried for me. And since I love him so much, it broke my heart. I never wanted my actions to hurt the people I love.

English writer, Monica Baldwin writes, "What makes humility so desirable is the marvelous thing it does to us; it creates in us a capacity for the closest possible intimacy with God."

Humiliation depicts mankind as broken and weak before God, yet it holds power and freedom to those it affects. Getting caught, embarrassed, and ashamed was finally the turning point for me. The shame of admitting the lie in my heart was the truth that set me free.

What I didn't realize at the time is that my heart was longing for the things of this world. I ran to comfort food instead of running to God. I discovered my sin, but I hadn't discovered that my heart was in the wrong place. I sought moral reformation instead of a spiritual transformation. I had known who He was, but I still hadn't grasped who I was in His sight.

After reading a book my brother Kirk gave to me,
The Way of the Master
by Ray Comfort, my life and walk with God changed forever! It spoke of the Ten Commandments and revealed my sin in its true light. That day in church—way back when I was twelve—I had prayed the "sinner's prayer," asking God to forgive my sins, but I didn't even understand what my sin was. After holding my life up against the standard of the Ten Commandments, the law revealed my sin, and I went through every commandment, realizing that I had broken them all.

I also realized that God was going to judge me by
this
standard—not by the world's. If we break even the least of His commandments, we have broken His law (James 2:10). It would have been easy had I been able to go on measuring myself against the lives of other Hollywood child stars, but if I had, I wouldn't be walking in the peace and freedom that I am today. Seeing who I am in sin and who I have become through Him has caused me to drop to my knees and ask for forgiveness. I have come to the realization of how amazing God is by sending His Son, Jesus, to pay for
my
sin. That's why I choose to live a life pleasing to God and bask in the grace He gives to each and every one of us.

God has changed me in ways that words cannot describe. He has transformed the way I think and live my life. Things that were once important to me no longer are. I can't help but share that good news with you, how it has set me free, and how it can also free you!

My desire stays strong each and every day because of the gratitude I have in my heart for His selfless work on the cross. I'm so thankful for His sacrifice that I ask Him every day, "How can I be used? What can I do for You, Lord?" Perhaps writing this book and sharing my journey with you is one small way I can serve.

Leaving the past behind, I began a new walk with Christ, and I pray you will as well—no matter what stage you are in your journey. Whether you suffer with a constant pull to the fridge, have discouragement over failed weight-loss attempts, sense an empty space that you are filling with food, or you are hoping to glean motivation, this book is for you. I often receive letters from women who tell me they have lost twenty, thirty, forty, and even ninety pounds. Weight they could never lose before is finally coming off.
What's their secret to success?
It's the same as mine. We've finally moved faith to the forefront, which includes putting God first in our plan to lose weight.

As I take you with me on the journey through weight loss, I'd like us to step out of the box and step into a better understanding of our complexity. God's Word teaches that we consist of a physical body and a spirit. And yet it also speaks of our "flesh." Now our flesh in this sense doesn't refer to our actual physical flesh or skin. It refers to the innate desires or gut instincts that may be immediately satisfying but are ultimately destructive. Our physical body and spirit both play an important role in forming who we are but must be kept in line from our "flesh." If either our physical body or our spirit is out of alignment, we'll feel a spiritual imbalance.

Oftentimes we also feel a physical imbalance, which results in annoying symptoms such as a tightening waistband, lack of energy, or a disagreeable scale.

In order to recognize these separate components of your being and empower you to train them effectively, we'll discuss these three elements and how they work together throughout the pages of this book.

Starting a diet or buying a new shade of lipstick won't put you on a path to freedom. It might make you feel good on the outside, which is a natural part of your womanhood, but the change must begin with the transformation by the Spirit—the renewing of our minds.

In the next eighteen chapters, I'm going to teach you how to fill that empty space that calls out for food. I'll encourage you along the journey like a personal trainer that's cheering you on. I'll share ideas that will help you put down the food when it's time and later wisely pick it up again, and I'll offer practical tips on eating well and getting fit.

At the end of the following chapters, you'll find a section called "The Pantry: Chocked-full of Food for Thought." The pantry is organized for readers on the go, who want to flip open the book and grab something to chew on. There you'll find "A Slice of Advice," which is my response to personal fan mail. You'll also find "A Pinch of Practicality" offering practical application ideas and a quote in "The Candy Dish." And if you are looking for a recap of Scripture used in each chapter, check out "Food for Thought."

In a recent interview with
US Weekly
magazine, I was asked, "You're not starving yourself, right?"

The truth is that I love to eat, and I don't mind putting out the energy to stay fit. I enjoy wine with dinner, and I love my dessert, but the difference is that I've become accustomed to making better choices in the
way
I eat. Do I count calories? Not a chance. Do I make good choices with faith-focused determination? Absolutely!

Finally getting it right, I'm twenty-five pounds lighter than I was on
Full House,
I have a full house of my own, and I feel better than I ever did!

TWO

The Inside Scoop

While many of you were enjoying the summer heat by the pool, I was enjoying an early Christmas in Chester, Vermont, filming the Hallmark movie
Moonlight & Mistletoe,
where I starred alongside the adorable Tom Arnold.

Once the movie was wrapped, I answered the usual questions like:

• What is Tom Arnold like?

• What is an average day like when you're working on set?

• Can you tell us about your wardrobe?

• How did they keep the snow from melting?

• Did you pick up any makeup tips that you can use at home?

• Do you have any upcoming projects in the works?

I can tell you that most days started around 7:00 a.m. and we shot twelve to fourteen hour days. Some days were really hot, which was difficult when you have on five layers of T-shirts, sweaters, coats, gloves, and scarves! I was pretty much in every scene so there wasn't a day I didn't work. And after my long day was done, I'd have another hour of work back in my hotel room learning the next day's lines. That was an average day.

I can also tell you that Tom Arnold was wonderful to work with; I loved watching him work. His creativity in delivering everyday lines is inspiring! He was generous on the set, buying the crew ice cream and pizzas on long days, and he respected my faith.

In this chapter I'm going to give you the inside scoop, but it won't be about television, movies, or magazines. This one will be about you. When we fully understand what is really going on inside us, we can then understand why we're inclined to make the choices we do. We'll also understand why the transforming of our bodies must begin by the renewing of our minds. Our bodies aren't making these detrimental choices for us; they are simply animated by a mind that needs a mental makeover. Let's get started, shall we?

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Changing our thought pattern sounds like a step we can easily take, but the problem we often find ourselves facing is that our minds are in one place while our heart is in another. Since we're so in love with food, the thought of breaking up with it is devastating. Just remember, it's only food; it's not like you're going to prom together. And I don't know about you, but I'd rather go alone than with an extra twenty pounds around my waist. Been there, done that! Yeah, I know we're not supposed to feel self-conscious about such things, but it's hard not to feel a little "Ugly Betty," when you're under the microscope on national television. Wearing an off-the-shoulder, puffy-sleeved green velvet dress, while my half-sized television rival had on a slinky little black one, I watched my date kissing his ex. While DJ made her entrance on stage that night, I wanted nothing more than to make a quick exit, put on a baggy sweatshirt, and call it a night. Who did I turn to for comfort? Most likely food, since we were in a steady relationship at the time.