Return to You (18 page)

They stood locked together like that for long moments. Finally, he pulled back and reached for the TV remote and clicked on the large flat-screen that was mounted on the wall. “There's a Jimmy Stewart marathon on this morning. I'm going to whip us up some breakfast; why don't you climb back in bed and get comfortable.”

“James,” she began, but when he turned to look at her, she didn't know what to say.

“We don't have to be at the reunion to oversee anything until four, right?” he asked, and she nodded. “Okay then. Give me twenty minutes, and I'll have breakfast ready.” With that, he turned and left the room and a stunned Selena behind him.

James had to give himself credit; his voice sounded calm, and he was sure that to Selena he actually was calm. Inside, however, was a completely different story. For far too long, he had held on to his anger and his sense of betrayal, but in the end, she had suffered far more than he had. There was no way in the world he could make it up to her—the pain, the disappointment, none of it. All he could do was to give her all that he had now.

Off in the distance, he heard the volume on the television go up. Making quick work of getting out the ingredients to whip up a batch of pancakes, he reached for his cell phone. With one ear, he listened while the phone rang on the other end, and with the other he listened to make sure that Selena stayed upstairs.

“Hello?”

“Ryder? It's James.” Taking a deep breath, he mixed up the pancake batter and said a silent prayer that he was doing the right thing. “Listen, I need a favor—”

“Wait a minute…who is this?” Ryder said in a teasing tone.

“Now isn't the time for that,” James said with a low growl.

“Twice in one week? You'll have to forgive me if I seem a little dazzled.”

Mentally counting to ten to calm himself, James waited for his brother to be done with his sarcasm before speaking. “If you're done…”

“I believe I am. What's up?”

“How good of a relationship do you have with Casey's OB-GYN?”

Silence.

“Uh…Ryder? You there?”

On the other end, Ryder cleared his throat. “Yeah, yeah…I'm here. That question was just completely out of the blue. Why do you want to know?”

James gave a brief synopsis of Selena's situation. “I need you to talk to Casey's doctor for me and find out all of the costs and risks to have something like this reversed or fixed or whatever it is you want to call it.”

“Is that what Selena wants?” Ryder asked hesitantly.

Good question. “I think it's something she's afraid to want because whoever her doctor was back then scared her.”

“Maybe with good reason.”

“Look,” James said with irritation, “can you please just look into this for me? I don't know any OB-GYNs or I'd do it myself. I know you, and I know you'd make sure that Casey has one at the top of their game. Can you help me?”

Ryder didn't need to think twice. “I'll make the call on Monday.”

James hung up and let out the breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding. Looking at the mess of breakfast preparations around him, he felt ready to take on the day.

Her shoes pinched. Her toes throbbed. And don't even get her started on her hair. The reunion was in full swing, and the music was playing so loudly that Selena just wanted to find a closet where she could kick off her shoes and curl into the fetal position.

“If it's any consolation, your dress is fabulous,” Jen said as she came to stand beside her.

“Excuse me?”

“I'm guessing by the look on your face that you are totally not into being here, but your dress is amazing and you look beautiful in it.”

Selena couldn't help but smile. “Thanks.” She scanned the crowd and was relieved that everyone seemed to be having a good time. “My shoes are killing me after last night's bowling debacle.”

“We all tried to warn you…”

“I know, I know.” She sighed and then cursed her own stubbornness. “Everything turned out great. The room looks amazing, and the food has been delicious. Whoever footed the bill for this deserves a million thank-yous because he has excellent taste.”

Jen was about to give a saucy comeback but decided to bite her lip instead. “All we did was book the venue; everything else was all you. You did a great job and I'm very proud of you.”

Selena chuckled. “Thanks.” James walked over with two glasses of champagne in his hands, and Mike was right beside him. Taking in the picture that the four of them made, Selena felt a twinge of sadness. In a few days, she would be leaving all of this. They would have made a great foursome hanging out together, but it wasn't meant to be right now.

When James had come back up to the bedroom earlier with a tray loaded with pancakes and syrup and orange juice, they had put all thoughts of their previous discussion on the back burner while they watched
Rear
Window.
Once breakfast was finished, James had taken care of the cleanup while Selena had started sorting through her luggage to gather what she needed to get ready for the reunion.

She was placing her things in the master en suite when James had quietly come up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. That was all it took. Neither said a word; he led her back into the bedroom, laid her down on the bed, and made sweet love to her. Over the last week, the sex had been explosive, as if they were trying to make up for the long years apart, but this morning had been so tender, so sweet, that she'd cried.

James had soothed her, comforted her. Loved her. Just thinking about it now was enough to make her breath catch. Sensing the emotion that was about to overwhelm her, James handed their drinks to Mike and Jen and asked Selena to dance.

Taking her in his arms, he gracefully spun her around until they were ensconced on the dance floor, swaying to the ballad that was playing. They moved together as if they had been lifelong partners, and he wracked his brain to try to remember if they had ever, in fact, danced together.

“I don't think we ever formally did this,” Selena said, as if reading his mind. “We've danced in the moonlight on the beach, and we've played around, but we never actually made it out onto a dance floor.” They had skipped her senior prom because James, being older, had felt awkward about taking her, and of course, he had been concerned about the cost back then. He had been working toward his dream profession, and something like a prom had not been a necessity for him. At the time, Selena hadn't minded, but every once in a while, she felt a twinge of regret that she had missed out on something that was a milestone for so many of her classmates.

“Well then, for two people who have never done this before, I'd say we're doing pretty damn good,” he murmured close to her ear, relishing the feel of her against him.

“I will have to agree.” They continued to sway to the music, and both sighed when the next tune was also a ballad. “Jen and I went dancing when I first got into town, and we had a blast. I didn't think I'd enjoyed anything more, but I think this just edged that out.”

One large hand moved up her spine. Under that hand, she felt so small and delicate to James. He smiled at the image of her and Jen out dancing and having a good time, and he figured that before the night was through, he'd have firsthand knowledge of how she looked when having fun with her friends.

The song ended, and they made their way off the dance floor and over to the table they had secured earlier with a small group of friends. James smiled when his cousin Kent approached. They shook hands before Kent leaned over and kissed Selena on the cheek. “Wow! I can't believe what I'm seeing!”

James put an arm possessively around Selena's waist and grinned. “You can believe it,” he said. Within minutes, Kent and his wife were seated at the table with them as dinner was being served, and Selena's head was spinning as she tried to keep track of all the conversation going on around her.

“We've been married for three years…”

“I've been on the force for about eight years now…”

“James and I work together…”

“Teaching third graders can be completely draining…”

“You did a wonderful job getting this all together…”

Always more of a people watcher, Selena was content to sit back and take in all of the discussions while not really actively participating. It was wonderful to be able to hear about all of the exciting things that had been going on in her friends' lives. It made her a little sad that she had removed herself from so many things, and looking back now, she could say with great certainty that it was the wrong thing to do. These people meant the world to her for such a major portion of her life, and how had she shown them that? By walking away and not doing much about keeping in touch. That had to change. Starting now.

“Selena can do this type of job in her sleep,” Jen was saying. “I knew that when it was time to get a committee together, she was the one to head it up.” Everyone nodded in agreement. “And to celebrate that, I'd like to propose a toast.” She stood and held her glass. “To the chairwoman who made this all possible, thank you. You are my best friend. Actually, you're more than that. You're like a sister to me. I love you and I'm glad you were able to come home and be a part of this. It wouldn't have been the same without you.” Everyone raised their glasses and toasted her.

Selena blushed at all of the attention and did her best to get other conversations started again around her and move the attention on to something else. She was enjoying her filet mignon and sipping champagne when Kent directed a question at her. “So does this mean you're going to move back here now?”

Eyes wide, she very nearly choked on her drink. James rubbed her back and asked if she was okay. It took her a moment to catch her breath and gather her thoughts. “Um, I hadn't planned on it,” she finally said. “I have a business back in North Carolina, and it's really starting to take off. I've got at least six months' worth of events already booked.”

“You can be an event planner up here, can't you?” he asked. “I mean, look at how you pulled this together! The weekend's been great! You should really consider it. You'd make more money up here than you probably could down south. New Yorkers do like to throw a party, and from the looks of this event, you're really good at what you do. Word would travel fast that you're the one to go to.” Normally she would bask in the praise, but at the moment, it felt like all eyes were on her.

Except for James's.

Luckily, Jen sensed her discomfort at being put on the spot and interrupted. “Hey! You know I was part of the committee too!” she said a little too loudly with a laugh. “I was ready to have my third graders work on decorations but was told it was too much like running a sweatshop!” Everyone joined in the laughter, and soon the conversations went back to focus on everyone else.

Selena and James finished their meals in silence.

Once dinner was done, it was time for Selena to get up on stage and do a presentation on her classmates' biggest accomplishments and follow-ups to the “Most likely to…” from their graduation year. Getting up and speaking in front of a large crowd wasn't a big deal to her; public speaking was something she excelled in. The problem was the fact that her date had suddenly gone mute.

And there wasn't time for her to make sure everything was okay.

Dammit.

The ceremony lasted longer than it should have due to the fact that there were so many hecklers in the audience who had their own two cents to add to just about everything. She did her best to stay on track, and finally awards were handed out, jokes were made, and by the time she was able to step down from the stage, Selena was ready to call it a night. A quick glance at her watch showed it was barely ten o'clock, and she cringed at the thought of another two hours of small talk. Not that it wasn't great to see so many familiar faces, but at this point, she really just wanted to be alone with James and make sure he was all right.

Scanning the room, she spotted James over by the bar, talking to Kent. Weaving through the crowd, she stopped and talked to people along the way, but her focus was on the men at the bar. Neither of them noticed her approach, and she could only partially hear what they were saying.

“So what are your plans?” Kent asked as he reached for his bottle of beer.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if Selena goes back to North Carolina, you know your family would love it if you joined her. You know they've been wanting you to go back and join the company for years.”

James shook his head. “Not going to happen. I told them that years ago. It was why I left home.”

“Look, man, I understood when you were younger and you wanted to have the chance to do what you wanted to do. But you lived in virtual poverty, and for what? I can't understand why you would choose to struggle when you could be on easy street.”

“Easy street comes with too many strings attached,” James said and then straightened. He turned around and saw Selena standing there. How much had she heard?

“Can I get you a drink?” Kent asked Selena, sensing the tension rolling off his cousin.

“That would be wonderful,” Selena said. “It was so hot up there on the stage, under all those lights. I think I'd just like a Coke for now.” Kent nodded and turned to place her order. Selena smiled at James. “How did I do up there?”

Okay, maybe she didn't hear anything,
he thought to himself as relief washed over him. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “You were a natural. I was very impressed.” With an arm wrapped around her waist, he pulled her close. “I know that I couldn't take my eyes off you,” he whispered warmly into her ear so only she could hear.

“All those years on the student council prepared me well.” She smiled as Kent handed her the drink. “Thanks, Kent. Where did your beautiful wife get to?”

He pointed across the room to a group of women that also included Jen. “They're talking about the reunion softball game tomorrow and coordinating food and drinks and all that. Totally not my thing,” he said with a laugh. “I just plan on being there and hitting the ball and playing whatever position I'm needed in. It's all about having fun, right?”

“That was the plan,” Selena said with a smile.

“What about you, James?” Kent asked. “Are you planning on playing tomorrow?”

“Well, if you gentlemen will excuse me, I think I'll head over and put my two cents in with the ladies.” She waved and sauntered away, secretly hoping that James watched the sway of her hips as she walked across the room. When she made it to the cluster of chatting women, she easily slipped into the conversation, and in no time, decisions were made on who was bringing what for the big softball game. “I won't be playing, but I don't mind sitting on the sidelines and cheering!” Selena said.

“And eating,” Jen said as she raised her hand.

“And drinking!” a couple other women chimed in. They all laughed and commented on ways to have their own little party going on while the men played. The music was blaring so loudly that further conversation was becoming impossible. “Oh, I love this song!” someone yelled, and soon they were all heading out onto the dance floor to join the others in celebrating the night. The proverbial “Woo” girls were in action.

She danced too long, drank too much, and sang too loud along to some of her favorite songs, and it was midnight when Selena caught up with James again. “One more dance,” she said as he turned her in his arms. “They're going to play one more slow dance, the DJ promised. Dance with me.” There was no way she could do another fast dance with the girls, but the thought of a slow one with James made her smile.

Maybe he had imagined things earlier; maybe his own guilty conscience was making him a bit paranoid over her behavior. It was possible that, with all of the music, conversation, and noise, Selena hadn't heard his conversation with Kent, and if she had, wouldn't she have said something? Or maybe that's why she'd been out on the dance floor for the last hour or so when he knew that her feet were killing her. Maybe she was ignoring him.

“James?” she said, leaning in to him, a relaxed smile on her face.

Or maybe not.

“Let's dance,” he said and began to sway with her to the music. Their time together was quickly coming to an end, and he knew that before she left, he was going to have to come clean about where he came from and why he had kept it a secret for so long. She would understand, wouldn't she? He frowned. If the tables had been turned, would he be willing to understand?

“Mmm…” she sighed as she moved closer to him, distracting him from his thoughts. “This is much better than all that jumping around I've been doing with the girls all night. I'm so glad that's over.”

“Me too,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “Do you need to stay until the bitter end, or are we free to go home?”
Home
. Once again the sound of that conjured up images of it being their home, a permanent home together and not just a weekend arrangement. Visions of the two of them living there—along with the children they would have—were so clear in James's mind, it was almost as if he could reach out and touch them. Without conscious thought, he pulled her closer, willing her to want it just as badly as he did.