Returning Injury (10 page)

Rebecca turned the TV back on to drown out the wind. After checking the TV guide, she decided to check her TiVo; she chose “Ghost Hunters”.

It took her back to thinking about her grandparents, the farm and all the fun she used to have horseback riding, baling hay with her grandpa and eating her grandma’s home cooking. That farm was a constant in her life. It had been in her family her entire life, so when the farm was put on the market, Rebecca went back to stay for a few days to say goodbye. She wanted to feel close to her grandparents one more time.

Rebecca thought about her mom, dad and grandparents when her parents were still together. She often felt that her grandparents were her father’s parents not her mother’s. Her father’s parents died
young so Rebecca never knew them. Rebecca’s mother’s parents were very close to Rebecca’s dad, and she was thankful. She also appreciated her mother for encouraging the close relationship between her own parents and her ex-husband and children.

The farmhouse had been sitting empty for about two years when Rebecca went to stay, and because of “Ghost Hunters,” she secretly hoped she would feel her grandparents’ presence at the farm. She talked to them.

Her grandparents didn’t appear while she was at the farm, but one thing did happen that left the possibility open that there had been some communication or guidance from her grandma. One night Rebecca was cold and started looking for a blanket. She opened a drawer in the living-room credenza and was surprised to see one of her grandma’s sweaters. Rebecca lifted the sweater to her face to smell it. The sweater didn’t smell like her grandma. It smelled old and dusty. She checked the pockets and found a tissue in one of them. Her grandma always had a tissue in her pocket.

Before putting it back, she felt pulled to lift the drawer liner. She peeked under it and saw some money. The rumors were true: Rebecca had always heard that her grandmother hid money, and she wondered why. She only knew of women stashing money if they wanted to leave a bad relationship. She counted the thirty-five dollars and placed it on top of the credenza. She lifted the liner further to see if there was any more money hidden. Rebecca grabbed the envelope she saw and put the sweater back into the drawer. At first, she thought she shouldn’t open it; it wasn’t her business, but
then thought that maybe her grandma was guiding her and there was a reason she found it.

The letter was from her dad’s parents to her mom’s parents and dated several years before Rebecca was born. Rebecca became very interested. Her eyes wide in disbelief, Rebecca read this three-page typed letter from somebody criticizing Ruth. The letter criticized her grandparents for raising such a strong-willed woman and criticized Ruth for being so stubborn. They feared the marriage wouldn’t last and that their son was being pulled away from them. There was a hint of bribery or blackmail in the letter. Rebecca wondered why her grandma would keep something that was meant to hurt her and her family.

Folding the letter back up, she thought about what it meant. She wondered if the letter had missing pages or if there was another letter. Rebecca searched the rest of the main floor of the house but found nothing, no money, no letters.

Rebecca called Jack and read the letter to him to get his advice. Should she put the letter back? Should her sister know about it? Should she give it to her mother, her dad or should she burn it? After hearing the contents of the letter, Jack agreed it was hurtful and they decided that it wouldn’t be good for anybody to know about it. They decided that she should dispose of the letter. After getting off the phone with Jack and re-reading the letter, Rebecca spoke out loud, “I hope this is what you wanted, Grandma. Let me know if there is anything else.”

The letter was true. Her dad had a great relationship with her mother’s parents, and she didn’t think he had a good relationship with his own. The marriage didn’t last, and Ruth was strong willed. But the one thing she was pretty sure about was that her dad was happy, her mom was happy, and her grandparents were happy. Maybe it was different, but it worked for them. She felt sad for her dad’s parents. She wondered what happened on that side of her family. Maybe she would ask her dad some day.

Rebecca thought about her own family drama. Rebecca’s sister Lisa seemed to be drinking more and Rebecca was afraid she was an alcoholic. Rebecca wanted to blame Lisa’s latest husband. He drank a lot and encouraged Lisa to drink with him. Rebecca didn’t know how to deal with Lisa and her two teenage kids who were becoming more troubled as well. She wanted to make them realize how amazing, strong and wonderful they were, but she knew they would have to find their own way just as she had to find hers. They were growing apart and Rebecca felt bad about it. She wanted to be in their lives, but she couldn’t take the drama, so she stayed away.

Rebecca had spent her share of time with people consumed with how bad their lives were and what they needed from her. She found it refreshing to talk to her mom, dad, relatives and friends who didn’t live in chaos.

While watching her TiVo’d “Ghost Hunters”, Rebecca cuddled Lily and drifted back to sleep and the dream about Roy continued on.

She was outside at her grandparents’ house walking around the farm. Roy wanted to show Rebecca her fate. He led her to where a
woman he killed had been buried by the barn. The dirt seemed fresh and one of the dead woman’s high-heeled shoes was left behind in the shallow, empty grave. Somebody had moved her, but Rebecca saw exactly where the woman had been lying, her form outlined in the dirt. Roy shoved Rebecca into the empty grave and started laughing evilly.

Rebecca jerked awake. Again Lily was frantically barking, huffing and puffing and running from window to window in the bedroom and bathroom. She jumped up on the chair that was in front of the bedroom door and started growling.

“Lily, come here.”

Rebecca could see light coming from outside. She hadn’t closed the blinds of the windows surrounding their large jetted tub. She knew it had to be from the moon lighting the sky, but it had been cloudy and gray all day. Lily continued growling softly. Suddenly, Rebecca saw something block the light from the windows by the tub. Somebody was in her bedroom. Heat, then icy-cold shot through her body. Her throat felt full and breathing was difficult. It looked like a dark figure or a shadow walked in front of the windows. She quickly sat up, turned on the light and got out of bed.

“Hello. Is somebody there?”

Rebecca walked into the master bathroom to see if somebody was around the corner by the double sinks. Then she walked into their closet and moved the hanging clothes to see if somebody was hiding behind them. Nobody was there. She walked back by the tub and looked out the windows. The wind was blowing again and she realized that a large tree just outside the bathroom had probably caused the shadow.

She took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’ve watched way too many episodes of those ghost hunting shows,” she said as she walked back into the bedroom. Lily was still sitting on the chair in front of the door, but instead of growling, she was wagging her tail, causing her entire body to wiggle.

“What’s the problem, little stinker?”

The closer Rebecca got to Lily, the more her tail wagged. Rebecca glanced at the clock and saw it was only four-thirty. “Oh, honey, it’s too early to get up now; let’s try to go back to sleep.”

She lifted Lily, turned off the light and got back into bed. If she didn’t fall asleep within fifteen minutes, she would get up. This time she left the TV off and was sleeping soundly within minutes.

The phone rang, and it was Jack calling to say good morning. “I’m so glad you woke me,” Rebecca said to Jack. “I have so much to do today and I didn’t want to sleep this late.”

“Glad I could help. How’d you sleep?”

“Horrible. It was really windy, lots of strange noises. I couldn’t stop thinking about my grandparents, Lisa… Lily barked a lot. And when I was sleeping, I was having bizarre dreams.”

“That’s awful. You may need a nap today. How’s the baby?”

“She’s great, snuggling with me right now.”

“Lucky dog.”

Rebecca smiled. “How did you sleep?”

“Pretty good, the room was freezing. I couldn’t get the heat to turn on. Luckily, I found an extra blanket to cover up with.”

“Lucky blanket.”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you, too. Do you have a busy day today?”

“Meetings all day.”

“Well, call me if you need a break. I’ll be home.”

“Not so fast. I’ve been thinking… I know you are very busy right now with work. We both are. So, I’d like to make an appointment with you.”

“An appointment for what?”

“To make love.”

Rebecca smiled. “Sounds nice.”

“It’s been almost two weeks. So, check your calendar and pencil me in.”

“Okay, I will.”

“Okay. Well, I better get going. My first meeting’s in an hour. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Have a good day. Bye.”

Rebecca hung up the phone and went downstairs to make coffee. She took Lily outside, then fed her. Rebecca cleaned up last night’s wine glass and bottle that had only a little wine left in it, and she poured a cup of coffee. All the while, she kept thinking about her dreams, wondering what they meant.

Before getting comfortable on the chaise, she reached for the remote and opened all the blinds in the living room. Then she picked up Angie’s pages on addiction.

Rebecca had spent last night drinking alone, and she believed she was celebrating a few days to herself. She usually did drink the first night of Jack’s business trips. But after reading Angie’s information on addictions, she started questioning her own motives for having a few glasses of wine. Was she trying to numb feelings that bothered her? She read that drinking and other addictions were often used to medicate or distract oneself so one didn’t have to deal with pain or
feelings. She thought about her sister and wondered if she were in pain.

In her early twenties, Rebecca drank every weekend. She loved it and always had fun with her friends. In her late twenties, she began to tire of it– the same people, same bars, same stories, same hangovers. She wanted more out of life than partying. Rebecca started to enjoy work more and looked forward to maybe finding someone special to settle down with.

Rebecca was intrigued by the statistics about drinking and addictions and how it was possible to inherit those traits from parents. She hadn’t realized the extent to which those behaviors could be passed down to children. Her father didn’t drink at all, but her mother did and so did Jack’s parents. Rebecca never thought of her mother or her in-laws as having a problem with drinking. They enjoyed a glass of wine with dinner and an occasional nightcap. Rebecca didn’t remember ever seeing her mother or Jack’s parents drunk.

When Rebecca walked into the kitchen for another cup of coffee, she saw a black SUV coming up the driveway. She thought about pretending she wasn’t home. A few minutes later when the doorbell rang, she shut off the alarm, grabbed the telephone and hollered, “I’ll get it, Jack.” She dialed 9-1-1 but didn’t press talk so it wouldn’t connect. She answered the door and saw a neighbor who lived down the road.

“I heard somebody broke into your place,” he said.

“What? No not here!”

“Oh, it must be our neighbor up on the hill.”

“Somebody’s place got broken into?”

“Yes, that’s what my daughter said. She must have been confused about which neighbor. Or I didn’t hear her right. Sorry to bother you, but I was concerned and wanted to get more information.”

“How much do you know?”

“I only know that their house was burglarized and the crooks cut down one of their trees. When I get more details, I’ll give you a call.”

“Cut down one of their trees?”

“Yes, that’s what I heard. Like I said, I’ll get more information and pass it along.” He walked back to his car, then turned back to Rebecca. “You know, I always hoped it would be safer out here in the country.”

“Yes, I know what you mean.” Rebecca noticed his wife was sitting in the car. They waved to each other.

“I guess we have these big houses… in the country… Cops can’t get to us very fast. Maybe we’re easy targets?”

“I guess. Do you know if it happened at night or during the day?”

“No, I’m not sure.” He turned again. “I’ll see what I can find out and let you know. We’re going to make sure we keep our security system on; maybe you should do the same.”

“Okay, thanks. We will.”

“I know we live a distance apart, but we should keep our eyes open.”

“I agree. I plan to. Thanks again for stopping by.” Rebecca watched them pull away and went straight to the alarm system to reset it.

With her cup of coffee, Rebecca headed to her office. She went to work to meet her goal of going paperless. She used to fantasize
about taking a big black garbage bag and throwing away everything in her office except her computer; she couldn’t bring herself to do it. But it was a sign that she needed to clean out her files and in doing so, she found she needed only about twenty percent of the paper files she had.