Authors: Airicka Phoenix
Kia
The school was in an uproar when I walked through the front doors. Something had happened from one day to the next, something that had everyone in a buzz, reminding me of a nest of disturbed hornets.
I pushed my way through the
crowd in the direction of my locker. I had no idea why everyone was standing around laughing and pointing until I realized what they were pointing at.
It was Nessie standing at her locker, trying very hard not to
notice that she was in a circle of onlookers. Her chin was held high as she stuffed books into her bag. Someone threw a wad of crumpled paper and it hit the back of her head, but she made no show of noticing.
“Whore!” someone shouted from the group. The rest chimed in like vicious wolves on meat, chanting and throwing balls of paper until they piled around Nessie’s ankles.
I caught several cell phones recording the event, memorializing Nessie’s humiliation. What was worst was the fact that there wasn’t a teacher in sight. I couldn’t believe it, an entire school and not a single presence of authority. I considered running to get one, but I didn’t want to leave either. Instead, I shoved my way to my friend’s side and hit the guy reaching for the back of her skirt with a fist straight to the jaw. The pain sung up my arm, but he went stumbling back into the people behind him and crashed to the ground. I didn’t know who he was, but it was enough to have the others instantly shutting up. I stood facing them, my breathing labored as I glared with all the hatred boiling inside me.
“
Anyone else?” I shouted, dropping my backpack to the floor.
No one spoke. I could hear the crash of my he
art beating wildly in my chest as I stared them down. It surprised me most that I had the guts to do it, to stand before all those people when I had never in my life liked crowds or attention. It was a wonder I hadn’t thrown up on my own shoes. But being nervous and scared was so far from my mind that I wasn’t even capable of feeling them. I was just angry. It was the only thing pounding in my temples. I wanted to hurt someone.
A snicker had me glancing to the right and my gaze locked with the unfathomable brown eyes of Claudia
DeLorenzo.
“Did you do this?” I demanded. “Did you start those horrible lies? Are you the one attacking her?”
Claudia continued to smirk as she curled a strip of silky hair around her finger. Her equally ridiculous friends stood behind her, snickering.
Her silence fueled my rage. I charged for her, weeks of fury finally spilling over. I was ready to break her pretty face into the locker.
My arm was caught and I was pulled to a stop.
Nessie met my
furious gaze. “She’s not worth it.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I muttered. “A beating could improve that ugly mask she’s wearing.”
Some of the smugness faded from Claudia’s smirk. “You touch me and my daddy will sue you!”
I shook Nessie off me and went to Claudia, pleased when she stiffened and flicked a panicked glance at the crowd. No one moved to help her. The cameras were rolling. I could feel their cold lenses trained on me.
I didn’t care. I grabbed Claudia by the front of her expensive sweater and shoved her into the lockers.
“Get off me!” she squeaked, flailing
and trying to swat at me. I would have laughed if I could muster it. “Someone get her off me! Leanna … Gena … someone get a teacher!”
I pulled her forward and slammed her into the lockers again. Not hard, but just enough to shut her up.
I leaned in close so no one but she could hear me.
“If I find out that you’
re behind this,” I whispered, keeping my voice a razorblade of ice. “I promise I will ruin you in ways you never even thought possible. I will destroy you. Do you understand me?”
“Get off—”
I tightened my grip on her collar. “Do you understand me?” I growled.
Her brown eyes were enormous against her pale face. She nodded.
“Good.” I leaned in even closer. My nose bumped hers. Her eyes went even bigger. “One more threat, one more picture, one more weird glance from
anyone
and it’s hunting season on your ass, got it?” I pushed on when she nodded again. “You will make sure your friends stay away from her, right?”
“What’s going on here?” A teacher’s voice had everyone scrambling like a raid on a crack house.
But I stayed and I kept Claudia pinned. “Right?”
“Yes!” she choked.
I relinquished my hold on her and stepped back just as the teacher reached us.
“You crazy bitch!” she hissed, smoothing down her top and hair. “You’ll be sorry for this.”
I shook my head. “Not nearly as sorry as you’ll be if you don’t listen to me. This fight is over. I want you out of my life and stay away from Adam. He’s off limits to you.”
“Ms.
DeLorenzo? Ms. Valentines? Shouldn’t you be getting to class?” I didn’t know his name, but I recognized him as one of the science teachers.
Perfect timing!
I wanted to sneer at him. Where the hell was he ten minutes ago?
I nodded to him, but kept my eyes locked on Claudia. “Yeah, we’re done.”
Without glancing at Nessie, I snatched up my bag and stomped down the hall towards class.
Adam
The single door that led into my parent’s office was closed, a familiar sign that they were busy and wished not to be disturbed. Vanessa and I were very accustomed to this message and we usually complied, but not this time. I needed to talk to them. I needed to stand up for what I wanted.
I raised a hand and
was about to knock, when the raised voices on the other side halted my curled fingers inches from the wood surface.
“You’re being irrational, Debra,” my father was saying. “
If you start slipping now, they’ll walk all over you.”
“Jesus, Donald! These are our children you’re talking about,” Mom exclaimed. The sound of her heels cracking hardwood echoed through the door. I could tell by their rapid succession that she was pacing.
“When did it become them and us? We used to be a team.”
“That was before they became teenagers,” Dad replied simply. “That was before your daughter—”
“My daughter?” The pacing halted abruptly. “When did she become
my
daughter? She’s your daughter, too.”
“Right about the time when you started letting her have everything she wanted. This never would have happened if you didn’t repeatedly indulge her every whim.” Something scuffled inside. Glass scraped on wood. “
She’s one step shy of becoming a stripper, or worse.”
“Or maybe it’s your lack of affection, Donald. Maybe
our
daughter is acting out because you push too much.”
There was a bang that made me jump.
“I push because I love them!” Dad roared. “Do you think I like being the bad guy? I’m doing my best to protect them and help ease them into the world. If I’m not there, constantly guiding them, look what they do.”
“They’re children! They’re supposed to make mistakes.”
“Not like this, Debra! This label will be with Vanessa for the rest of her life. She will never overcome it. People will always know her as the girl that gets around. Is that what I’m supposed to accept?”
“No, of course not, but we should at least try and support her—”
“Support what? What exactly are we supposed to support? Do you want me to get her a box of condoms? Is that what I’m supposed to do? I’m not exactly sure how one supports their daughter being a slut.”
“She’s not a slut!” Something crashed, something delicate and
glass. It shattered as it made contact with a wall. “Jesus Christ, Donald! She’s your daughter. If you think that way, what’s stopping everyone else from doing the same?”
“That’s just it, they’re already thinking it. It doesn’t matter what I think anymore.”
“You’re wrong,” Mom hissed. “It does matter. It matters to Vanessa. It matters to me. I think we’ve tried things your way long enough, Donald. The more I listen to you, the further away my children get from me. Not anymore. I’m taking Vanessa to see someone. She needs someone to talk to and it clearly can’t be us.”
“Why can’t it be us? Why do we need to keep throwing money at these children?”
“Because she doesn’t trust us!” Mom snapped. “Because she has no reason to trust us. Because you heard her, she hates us. I am not letting her keep hurting like this. I can see it, every time I look at her, I can almost feel her pain.”
“That’s not pain, that’s plain and simple jealousy, which she needs to get over. Yes Adam gets better treatment, but she
would too if she would just start listening.”
“
Well, it’s not working,” Mom interrupted. “It’s only pushing her further away.”
“Then maybe—”
“No!” There was a deafening bang of fists beating on wood. “No more, Donald. No more. I’m not listening anymore. I’m getting Vanessa help and you’re going to start supporting her the way a father is supposed to. I’m done with this. We’re doing things my way.”
I knocked. Silence descended on the room on the other side. I waited, holding my breath.
“Come in,” I heard Dad beckon from the other side.
I opened the door and stepped
cautiously inside. Both my parents were standing in the middle of the room. A broken glass lay in pieces across the far wall and both were red-faced and breathing hard. Dad turned away, running a hand over his face. Mom straightened and smoothed a hand down the front of her blouse.
“Adam, this really isn’t a good time—”
“I’m quitting basketball,” I blurted, halting my mom mid-dismissal. “And football, and hockey.” I took a deep breath and added, “And I don’t want to intern for the clinic anymore.”
My parents stared at me as though I just told them I wanted to drop out of school and become a hula dancer.
“I’m sorry?” Mom said slowly. “What are you trying to say?”
I barely restrained myself from rolling my eyes and replying,
exactly what I just said.
No. This situation called for tact and firm determination.
“I’m saying that I don’t want to pla
y anymore. I like swimming so I’d like to stay on the team, but I don’t want to do the others. I’m tired of being tired. I can’t focus on my school work. I need some downtime.”
“But we just had two weeks of downtime,” Mom said, looking genuinely confused. “What is it, Adam? Tell us what’s really bothering you.”
I inhaled deeply. “I just told you, Mom. I don’t want to play anymore.”
“Do you know what you’re saying?” Dad demanded, slamming down his pen. “Do you know what this says about you? That you’re a quitter. No one will ever take you seriously again.
You made a commitment—”
I shook my head. “No, Dad, I didn’t. You did when you signed me up for all of this. I never wanted any of it. I’m grateful, but—”
“You’re not grateful.” He slammed a fist on his table and turned away. “You and your sister … spoiled and irresponsible to the core. I don’t know where we went wrong.”
“
Donald, please.” Mom also got to her feet. “This is no time for that. Adam.” She turned her eyes on me. “This is a huge step you’re taking. You can’t come back from it.”
I nodded. “I know. I’ve thought long and hard on it. I’m sure.”
“You can’t seriously let him quit, Debra. We must be firm on this.”
“
My way, Donald,” Mom said. “We’re handling this my way.”
“
I didn’t realize that meant we would start giving into their every demand!” Dad said.
Mom
ignored him. Her gaze went to me. “You can quit two of your teams, but you keep the other two, at least until the end of the season. Your pick.”
“Hockey and swimming,” I said at once.
Mom nodded. “Fine, but
you
will call your couches and explain your reasons for quitting, understand? Good,” she said when I nodded. “Also you will continue to intern at the clinic. At least until graduation. I won’t negotiate that.”
I wanted to protest, but I had already won a small victory and
knew better than to push my luck. I nodded. “Thank you.”
Mom just nodded.
I left, restraining myself from hooting in glee as I tumbled my way downstairs. The front door opened and Vanessa stumbled in just as I hit the bottom landing with both feet the way I used to Christmas mornings. But my good mood deflated when I took one look into my sister’s tear-stained face.
“What happened?” I was in front of her in two long strides.
She swiped stubbornly at her cheeks. “Nothing.”
“Van!” I
took her stooped shoulders in my hands. “Will you talk to me? Please?”
She started to shake her head.
“Fine!” I threw up my hands. “Don’t talk to me. Keep treating me like I’m the antichrist. I’m done trying. I’m done watching you become this …
thing
.”
Turning on my heels I
stormed upstairs and slammed my fist into the office door. I didn’t wait to be allowed entry. I barged in.
“There’s something wrong
with Vanessa,” I blurted before either of my parents could think to reprimand me. “She needs help.”
They both just stared at me for a long moment. It was my mom that came out of it quicker.
“What are you talking about, Adam?”
I dragged her downstairs just as Van was climbing up. I grabbed her arm, restraining her from passing us.
“Oh, no you don’t,” I hissed. “You’re going to sit your ass down and you’re going to tell us what the hell’s the matter with you or so help me, I will…” I had no idea what I would do, but I was desperate enough to do just about anything short of waterboarding her into answering.
“Adam!” I ignored Mom’s exclamation as I hauled Van to the sitting area and shoved her onto the sofa.
I expected a lot of things to happen. I expected a lot of cursing, a few kicks and punches. But I didn’t expected Van’s eyes to well up. It was me who cursed as I bent down and pulled her into my arms.
“Vanessa?” Mom touched her back.
“Tell me what happened,” I said.
“
You guys were right,” she said at last. “I’m an idiot.”
“That is not true!” Mom said. “Who said you were an idiot?”
“I deserve every bad thing that happens to me. I deserve to be hated and alone.”
I forced her to look up at me. “What are you talking about?”
She wiped at her face with the back of her hands. “I’ve been so angry, blaming everyone for the stupid things I’ve done that I never stopped to think that maybe I was the problem. That maybe I brought this shit on myself because I was just a horrible, miserable person who doesn’t deserve to be happy.”
“That isn’t true
,” Mom argued. “Where is this coming from?”
“It is,” she protested. “
I knew I couldn’t trust Taylor, but I told her about Zach because I knew she liked him and I wanted to rub it in her face that I had him. Then when she told everyone, I blamed Adam because it was easier than blaming myself. I fully convinced myself that had you not screwed with my friends, she would never have told. But she would have, because Taylor is as miserable as I am and misery loves company. I know this because, like how Taylor wanted me miserable, I did the same thing to Kia. I wanted her miserable. I wanted her to be alone like me. I didn’t want to be alone by myself. I hated that she had you. I hated seeing the way you guys would look at each other. I wanted that! But every time I come close, I get used and discarded like garbage.”
Mom looked at me, brows furrowed. “You’re seeing Kia?”
I ignored her. “Why are you saying this?” I demanded.
“Because it’s true!”
Van shouted. “Did you know Kia punched someone because of me today?”
I stiffened all over
“What? Is she okay?”
She
raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you hear me?
She
punched
him.
”
I didn’t care.
I
would bury him alive if he hurt her.
“She’s fine, Rambo. Calm down.”
“Vanessa, you need to tell us what happened!” Mom retorted loudly.
She sniffed, looking down. She toyed absently with a piece o
f loose thread from her sleeve. “It was nothing I hadn’t been expecting. It was the same bunch of assholes thinking they were proving something by being total douchebags. I was fine just ignoring them, but it wasn’t working. Usually, they would say stuff and leave, but not this time.”
“What did they do? Did they hurt you?”
Mom demanded.
Van shook her head.
“They treated me exactly how I deserve to be treated—like shit. I deserve it for being such a mean, horrible … pathetic person.”
“Vanessa!” Mom grabbed her arm and gave her a shake. “Talk to me!”
“She left. Wouldn’t even look at me, like I wasn’t even there. I felt like the biggest shit on the planet. After everything I said to her, after everything I did, she stood up for me. She’s the only one who’s
ever
stood up for me. She could have walked away. I wouldn’t have blamed her. I mean, I called her a lousy friend and told her I never wanted to see her again, because
that’s
the kind of friend
I
am.” Her bottom lip trembled. “There’s something wrong with me! I keep pushing everyone away and I don’t know why.”
Mom wrapped her arms around Van, pulling her into a tight hug as Van cried. “It’s okay, sweetie. We’re going to fix this. I promise.”