Revenge of the Spellmans (25 page)

I
expected to find Henry home that evening, since he was supposed to be home later that night to be at the ready for our now-derailed sting operation on Rae. I figured he’d be reading a book or something. I didn’t figure that, two weeks after being dumped by Maggie, he’d be in the midst of another date.

It took me by surprise. I’m telling you this to explain my subsequent behavior.

“Isabel, what are you doing here?” Henry said when he opened the door.

“I didn’t feel like going home,” I replied. “Are you going to let me in or what?”

Sometimes I don’t read body language very well. Since there was enough space between Henry and the door frame for me to slip past, I entered his apartment. In retrospect, I entered without invitation. On Henry’s couch sat a woman who had hair and was wearing clothes. I think she must have been drinking something, but everything was a bit of a blur. Her surprise and Henry’s awkwardness upon my entrance clued me in right away that I was interrupting a date.

“Hi,” I said.

I think Henry then introduced us, but honestly, I couldn’t tell you her name.

“I’m Henry’s life coach,” I said, because it annoys Henry when I tell people that. Although I must admit, I got no joy from it this time.

The date, who I’ve reduced in my memory to a life-sized smudge, smiled uncomfortably and turned to Henry for an explanation.

“Isabel was in the neighborhood,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” I said, not sounding all that sorry. “Have I interrupted something?”

The Smudge smiled or frowned. Who can tell?

Henry said, “Yes, you have. Maybe you could come back tomorrow.”

“But I have some important business to discuss with you now,” I said.

“I’m sure it can wait,” Henry replied.

“What makes you so sure?” I asked.

“It’s getting late,” the Smudge said. “I should go.”

“Isn’t it?” I said, agreeing enthusiastically.

“It’s ten thirty,” Henry interjected.

“She’s got a watch,” I said.

The Smudge stood, confirming her previously stated plans.

“A pleasure meeting you,” she said to me, which I thought was inappropriately friendly.

“Likewise,” I said for the first time in my life.

Another blurry exchange happened in the doorway as the Smudge made her exit. My vision cleared up when Henry returned to the apartment with a high-definition scowl on his face.

“That was incredibly rude,” he said.

“Yes, she shouldn’t have left so abruptly.”

“What is the problem, Isabel?”

“Nothing,” I replied, eyeing a plate of crackers on the coffee table. I had a sudden urge to pick up the crackers and hurl them at Henry, one by one, with a g-force never before experienced by a cracker. Then I had a separate urge to toss them on the floor and crunch them into the carpet with my shoe. Then, you’ll be happy to hear, I had a sudden urge to hang on to whatever dignity I had left.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I shouldn’t have interrupted your date.”

I sat down on Henry’s couch and eyed the plate of cheese and crackers with an entirely different urge.

“Are you hungry?” Henry asked.

“Yes.”

“Help yourself.”

I did.

As I was snacking on Henry’s leftover date food, trying not to feel too sorry for myself, it occurred to me that I had for the first time in my life the perfect excuse to invite Henry on a social outing.

“I have to go to the museum sometime,” I said. (Do you see where I’m going with this?)

“Why do you have to go to the museum?” Henry asked.

“I thought I could go to the zoo instead, but apparently I have to go to the museum.”

“Still didn’t answer my question,” Henry replied.

“I know,” I said. “So, do you want to go sometime?”

“Why not?” Henry replied.

It suddenly occurred to me that I should get out of his home as soon as possible. I’m always in danger of ruining things one way or another, so before he could inquire further about the motives behind my sudden interest in culture, I decided to make my exit.

“Thanks for the snack,” I said. “I’ll call you.”

I
had assumed Milo was talking about Henry. Not sure why. Imagine my disappointment when I found Rick Harkey sitting at the bar, nursing a whiskey neat. As far as I know, Harkey has only two faces: the caricature of a good-hearted fellow (who will turn on you at a moment’s notice) and the very real cruel bastard (who will turn on you at a moment’s notice). Basically, they’re both the same person; it’s just the mask that’s different.

Connor gave me a look when I entered the bar that I couldn’t quite translate, but it seemed to indicate caution. I sat down on the stool next to Harkey and summoned a superficial but cheery demeanor.

“Rick, this is my bar. You’re going to have to find one of your own.”

“Isabel,” he said, slowly turning to face me. Harkey, wearing a loosened tie, dark gray slacks, and a well-made oxford shirt rolled up to his elbows, was wearing his second mask. I hadn’t seen it firsthand, so it was a bit unnerving. I could see the tight muscles in his arms twitch and his jaw clench as he spoke to me. He looked like a wildcat ready to pounce.

“What can I do for you?” I asked, trying to control the tension with excessive friendliness.

“You can tell me what you’re up to, for starters,” Harkey said. Even in
the forgiving light of the bar, Harkey looked worn, older. I took pleasure in that, imagining it was all my doing.

“This and that,” I replied with a toothy smile.

Connor approached as Harkey’s fist tightened. I could tell the Irishman was keeping a close watch. He didn’t like Harkey one bit. Who did?

“At urr ya drinkin, orgeous?” Connor asked.

I ordered a Guinness to keep Connor close by.

Harkey whispered, to keep the conversation private, “What do you know, Isabel?”

I whispered back, “According to my tenth-grade math teacher, less than nothing.”
1

“Do you want to be friends or do you want to be enemies?”

“I’m aiming for casual acquaintance.”

“Don’t fuck with me, sweetheart,” Harkey said.

Connor made a big show of pulling the slow pint; he even whistled a bit. He was growing on me.

“Listen, Rick,” I said at the same low volume, “I know you think you’re holding all the cards here, but you’re not.”

Harkey smiled to suggest I was bluffing, but the smile was a bluff in itself. Connor served my drink.

“You’re a guppy playing with sharks,” Harkey said, tossing some bills on the bar.

“Maybe,” I replied, finding the analogy particularly amusing. “I’m also a guppy with very sharp teeth.”

“Still a guppy.”

“A guppy who is tired of the guppy analogy, but, in keeping with it, can send one of those sharks to prison. And your kind of shark
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wouldn’t do so well in the pen.”

“You think you have something on me?” Harkey asked, looking amused.
Then he let out a big mess of a laugh. Since people like Harkey have no real sense of humor, their laughs always sound fake even if they believe them to be real. I interrupted the guffaws to get him to shut up.

“Are you not familiar with California Penal Code section 631-A? It makes the taping of a private communication illegal unless all parties consent.”

Harkey appeared confused until my comment registered and his color faded just a bit. I smiled. He kept his seemingly unmoved gaze on me, but I could see his insides twitching.

I reached for my beer, but Harkey grabbed my wrist and held it on the bar. His fingers tightened to just the point of pain.

“Sweetheart, I’d watch myself if I were you.”

Connor then dug his fingers into Harkey’s wrist.

“Sweetheart,” he said to Harkey, “if you wan ta keep yar hand, I’d get the fuck outta here and not come back.”

Connor looked downright scary. I wondered what kind of brawls he’d gotten into in his homeland. I was glad to have him on my side. Harkey loosened his grip, Connor loosened his, everyone held everyone’s gaze, like a Mexican standoff, and finally Harkey turned on his heels and left the bar.

Once I caught my breath, I turned to Connor and smiled as friendly a smile as he’d ever see again.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Sure ya know wat ur doin?” he asked.

“Nope,” I replied.

I left the bar and returned to my new neighborhood, hunting for close to twenty-five minutes for a parking space that was within a mile of David’s and my house. I jotted my car’s location down in my notebook and headed toward our place. Lately, I had taken to keeping a pair of travel binoculars in my bag. I scoped the perimeter around the residence and noticed that David was in the midst of doing something resembling garage clean
ing. Since it was Monday and David should have been at work, I decided to investigate.

The first thing I did was call his office from my cell phone.

“May I speak to David Spellman?” I asked.

“He’s not in.”

“When do you expect him?”

“I’m not sure. Can I take a message?”

“No, thanks.”

David’s vague receptionist made his extended absence (going on seven weeks now) all the more intriguing. Since I hadn’t played the I-was-in-the-neighborhood game for a while, I thought I’d fake a drop-by and see what was new in the world of David Spellman—and maybe solve this mystery once and for all. Besides, my only other option was finding some way to occupy myself for the next few hours until I could go home.
3

It’s probably not wise to startle someone in the middle of a balancing act.

“What on earth are you doing?” I asked David as he stood on a stepladder and pulled a box from the top shelf of his garage.

“Ouch,” he said, right before he toppled to the ground. Then when he made contact with the cement, he said, “Shit,” then “Isabel!” then “What are you doing here?”

I waited to see whether my brother had any permanent injuries. If he did, I’d probably have made a run for it, but he was fine. Maybe a bruise here or there, but nothing that would cause any more guilt than I already had for living in his home without his knowledge.

“I was in the neighborhood,” I said nonchalantly. I didn’t apologize for causing the crash landing, because I’ve discovered that if you ignore things, sometimes the other party will ignore them, too.

“Why didn’t you park in the driveway?” David asked.

(Normally if I’m in the neighborhood I park in his driveway, since parking in Russian Hill is brutal—I know, you know.)

“I found a space a few blocks away. Figured I should take it in case you were expecting company. Why aren’t you at work?”

“Why are you dropping by when you think I’m at work?”

“I was going to sit on your step and mooch off your wireless.”

“What’s wrong with a café?” David asked.

“Not thirsty. Your turn: Why aren’t you at work?”

“Taking the day off,” David said, and then he proceeded to pull everything out of a yellowed file box.

“Just the day or many days?” I asked.

“I’m using up my vacation time,” David answered.

“To clean your garage?”

The contents of the box were clearly relics of the past—a magic set from his tenth or eleventh birthday,
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a stack of unopened baseball cards, a deflated football, and a rock collection. I have approximately ten boxes of stuff from my youth that will remain forever (or at least until the threat of destruction) in my parents’ garage. I remember some seven or eight years ago watching David sort through his life’s accumulation and reduce his early years to one box. My mother suggested his downsizing was over the top, but he insisted on simplifying his life when an interior decorator took over his home and defined his sense of style. I had a particular vendetta against this decorator since she made David give up a coffee table I gave him for his twenty-fourth birthday.
5
All this passed through my mind as David hunted desperately through the box, ignoring my question. I moved on to a more pertinent inquiry.

“What are you looking for?”

“My rabbit’s foot,” David said as if the answer was patently obvious.

“Why?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” David said, looking concerned. “I just have to find it.”

“Is something wrong with you?” I asked, and then regretted the phrasing immediately.

“Isabel,” David said with a tone of warning. “I’m having a bad day. No, I’m having a bad year. If you plan on being in my vicinity, you have to behave like a human being. Not like yourself.”

“Ouch,” I replied pleasantly.

“Got it?” David asked sternly.

“I got it,” I said without an atom of attitude.
6

Fortunately, my phone rang, which spared David the unhelpful suggestion I was currently forming into a sentence.
7

“Hello?” I said. You’re probably thinking in this day and age I should know who’s calling on my cell phone, but some people still like to block their caller ID to keep you on your toes.

“Izzy, it’s Dad.”

Some of those people I’m related to.

“Hi, Dad,” I said.

“Do you know whose car you got into today?”

“Nope. But he didn’t kill me, which makes me think fondly of him.”

“Frank Waverly.”

“He looked more like a Jimmy to me.”

“Does that ring a bell, Isabel?”

“No. But there aren’t any bells around here.”

“You don’t keep up on current events.”

“I’d like to skip over the traditional constructive criticism part of this conversation to where you tell me who he is.”

“He’s a political consultant.”

“That’s so cool,” I said. “A political consultant offered me a bribe.”

“What?!” Dad shouted. “You didn’t mention that.”

“I just did.”

“More details.”

“Okay, he asked me to get in the car. He then handed me an envelope with five thousand dollars in it and asked me for information. Since I had no idea what he was talking about, I said no, which was a mistake, because it’s more than enough money for me.”

“Isabel, we need to talk about this. Come up with a plan.”

“Dad, there’s nothing to discuss yet, since I don’t know anything.”

“Come by the house.”

“I’m busy looking for a rabbit’s foot, okay? I’ll talk to you later.”

Dad’s news was intriguing and required some follow-up investigation. None of which I could do unless I got inside my apartment, which meant I had to get David inside his.

As you may recall, I spent days searching David’s house from top to bottom. I remembered not one but two rabbit’s feet. I remember them because they seemed so out of place. A white one in the back of the junk drawer in his kitchen and an old soggy brown one in his office—third drawer on the right of his desk—that David had acquired on a Spellman camping trip (circa 1992) that all members wished to never duplicate again.

“What does it look like?” I asked.

“You don’t know what a rabbit’s foot looks like?” David rudely replied.

“You know they’re not actually feet.”

At this point, David was pretty much done with me. Like many before him, he pretended I wasn’t there. To redeem myself, I entered his house and found the two rabbit’s feet I recalled from my massive hunt.

I returned to the garage and opened the palms of my hands, presenting the offerings. David ignored the clean, white, faux foot and picked up the aged and soggy one as if it were a precious medallion.

“Thank you,” he said, in awe. “How’d you find it?”

“How do you think?” I replied, hinting at the wild goose chase he’d prompted not too long ago.

“Finally some good comes out of your snooping. I’ll make you dinner to celebrate,” David cheerily replied.

I followed pod-David into his house and let him cook for me. His previous mood had lifted in an odd, unnatural way. I would have loved to have gone home to do some research on the new angle on the Bancroft case, but I had some research on my brother that I needed to handle first. I’d followed too many wildly opposing leads in the past few weeks to have any real objectivity when it came to David. I tried to erase all the previous sensational theories from my head and start fresh. All I knew for sure was that he had changed, and something was going on in his life to prompt that change. I stayed for dinner, ate his food, and asked whatever questions I could get away with.

David grilled fish on the porch, and I watched him while drinking a beer. I love cooking.

“How much more vacation time do you have?”

“A few weeks.”
8

“How was your weekend with Rae?” I asked, not all that interested in the Rae part.

“It wasn’t so bad,” he replied.

“What did you do?”