Revenge of the Spellmans (36 page)

¹
You’ll soon learn why.

²
These aren’t instructions. Don’t, like, try this at home. That would really annoy me.

¹
A legal term, basically saying that the defendant (Rae) deprived the plaintiff (me) of the use of my property. Punishable at the very least with compensatory measures.

¹
David informed his clients of this fact, but to keep the news quiet from his family, David had the main receptionist tell callers that he was out.

¹
For years I’d encouraged Petra to lose the wig collection—I think it sends a bad message to customers. I’ve quieted on this matter since discovering I can make some use of the collection.

²
Spellmans do, of course. After my first surveillance, at age twelve, I generally assumed it was possible I was being followed.

³
Of all the activities she could pursue on a whim, this had to be among the least perilous for everyone concerned.

⁴
Sorry, I’ve actually lost my long-term count. But it’s only the second one of the day, if that clears anything up for you.

¹
Translation: randomly swapping them around.

¹
See previous document,
Curse of the Spellmans
—now available in paperback!

¹
Not something I make a habit of.

²
Remember, the political consultant who tried to bribe me?

¹
I would later learn that it was.

²
Yes, I was aware that I couldn’t make such a promise.

¹
Actually, not true.

²
Apparently a Texan delicacy and not Rae’s original recipe, as she had claimed.

³
If it’s a holiday party, use only red and green.

¹
I think you know why.

²
Also Jason Fuller!

³
Now located in Santa Monica, not Beverly Hills (sheesh, I’m going to start charging for ad space, Dan).

⁴
This usually involves a half-hour conversation in which he retells the story in his own words to prove that he’s read it. It’s quite amusing and an excellent refresher.

⁵
The mastermind behind Rae’s unfortunate recipes.

⁶
No, there’s no team. But I’m not entirely opposed to the idea.