Revved (21 page)

It’s beautiful.

I trace my finger over it. “It’s beautiful, Carrick.”
Just like you.

He lifts his head from the pillow and looks back at me, chuckling. “Never tell a man that his tattoo is beautiful, babe. Tell him it’s badass but never beautiful.”

“Sorry.” I laugh. “It’s totally badass.” I put on a gruff voice, trying to sound dude-like. “It’s the most
badass-ist
tattoo I’ve ever seen.”

“
Badass-ist
?” He raises a brow.

“It’s a word.” I grin. “Well, in my world it is anyway.”

“You’re crazy.” He laughs, making me smile. Reaching back, he wraps a hand around my wrist and tugs me forward. I fall off his body to the mattress, lying beside him. Lifting up, he pulls me to him and maneuvers me beneath his body. He frames my face in his hands. “But I really, really like Andressa Amaro’s crazy world—a lot.”

My heart and head collide, causing panic to ripple through me, but it’s all swallowed up by his kiss. And the exact moment his tongue slides against mine, everything disappears, except for him.

He kisses me for what seems like forever. Gentle and tender. And I don’t ever want him to stop.

When he finally does stop, lifting his face from mine, he gives me such a look of want that my heart actually aches.

I can’t fall for him. I can’t.

“I should get some sleep if I want to win tomorrow,” he says on a stifled yawn.

“Of course.” My voice trembles. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything.

He reaches over and turns the light off. Then, he pulls me to him. Tucking me into his side, he tangles his legs up with mine. He presses a kiss to my forehead. “Night, babe,” he murmurs, his voice already sounding sleepy.

“Night,” I whisper, my eyes still wide open.

I AWAKE WITH A START
. It’s still dark out, but the sun is starting to rise. And there’s a warm solid body wrapped around me.

Carrick.

I’m in his bed.

And we had sex.

Amazing hot sex.

Images flash through my mind of the night before, making me tingle in all the right places. But what also comes with those images and tingles, now that the champagne and sex-crazed hormones have worn off, is a mixture of regret and concern.

I slept with Carrick.

A driver.

I broke my cardinal rule.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I can’t believe I did that. Well, I can believe it…but you know what I mean.

And worst of all, I’m feeling things I shouldn’t be. Like how amazing his body feels wrapped around mine and the desire to never leave.

Wanting more. Wanting him. Again and again.

Oh God.

I can’t think this way. Not that Carrick would ever want to be with me long-term. He’s a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of guy. But this is about me, what I’m feeling for him. That’s the problem. I can’t be crushing on him.

And right now, here in his arms, I’m way too comfortable. It’s time for me to go.

Carefully, I slide my leg out from between his. Holding my breath, I wait to make sure that I haven’t woken him. When I’m sure he’s still asleep, I lift his arm and slide out of bed like I’m some kind of ninja.

Staring down at him in the dark, I resist the urge to brush back the hair falling across his forehead.

He’s beautiful.

And I really need to get the hell out of here.

I step away from the bed, and being as quiet as humanly possible, I tiptoe around, picking up my discarded clothing.

Taking them with me, I go into the living room and dress quietly and quickly.

Remembering that my clutch is still in Carrick’s jacket pocket, I retrieve it from where we left it in the entryway last night in my haste to get it off him.

Memories of last night flood my mind. Carrick kissing me in this very spot, touching me…how much I wanted him. My body starts to ache to go back to him, to curl myself around him and never let go.

It would be so easy to take this dress back off, go in there, slide back into his arms, and wait to see what would happen when he wakes up.

But I can’t.

So, I hang his jacket up on the hook. And with my heels and clutch in hand, I quietly let myself out of his suite.

I go to the elevator. The hotel is dead. I check the time on my phone—6:03 a.m.

When the elevator arrives, I get in the empty space and press the button to my floor.

Padding barefoot down the hall to my room—thankfully not seeing a soul—I slot the key card in the door, trying to be as quiet as possible, so not to wake Petra. But the sound of the lock clicking open sounds really loud in the quiet.

Closing the door softly behind me, I move through the room, placing my shoes on the floor in the entryway. I put my clutch and key card down on the dresser.

“Seeing as though you’re coming home at the crack of dawn, I’ll take it that you had a good night?”

“Jesus!” I nearly jump out of my skin at the sound of Petra’s voice. “You frightened the shit out of me!” My heart is pounding like a bitch.

Laughing, she clicks the lamp on, temporarily blinding us both, and then she rolls over in bed to face me. “So, you shagged Carrick then?” She has the smuggest grin on her face.

Sitting down on the edge of my bed, I dig my toes into the carpet, and lift my shoulders, giving nothing away.

“Uh-uh. No way, missy. Spill. I need something to brighten my morning. I had a shit time last night.”

“Why? What happened?” I lift my head, concern furrowing my brow, knowing she went out with the boys last night.

“Oh, nothing major.” She waves it off. “It was just crap without you there, and Robbie was being a twat, like usual.”

I get a little glow, on the knowledge that she thinks her night would have been better with me there. “You know Robbie fancies you, right?” I grin.

“What? Robbie? No, he doesn’t…does he?” She meets my smiling eyes.

“Of course he does. It’s totally obvious from the way he looks at you all the time, all moon-eyed.”

She gives a little humph. “So, why does he act like a twat around me then?”

“Because…he’s a man.” I give a helpless shrug. I have zero clue as to why men are the way they are.

“Speaking of men and their weird ways—nice diversion tactic with Robbie, by the way—Carrick. Spill. I want deets.”

On a sigh, I say, “Yes, I had sex with him.”

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist him! Was he awesome? I’ve heard he fucks like a porn star.”

God, he absolutely does.
But I don’t say that. I just stare down at my nicely painted fingernails.

“Oh my God. Was he bad?” She sounds aghast. Her hand is clamped over her mouth, eyes wide.

“No,” I hasten to say. “He was…great. Amazing.”
Like nothing I’ve ever known before
. “I just…I think I made a mistake by sleeping with him.”

“Why?” She gets out of bed and comes to sit by me. “Was he an arse afterward?”

“No, not at all. He was really sweet in fact, but I just…” I let out a sigh and rub my face.

“Are you worried that you’ll lose your job?”

My eyes widen with the shock of her words, worry hitting me full throttle. “Well, I wasn’t, but I am now. Do you think I’ll lose my job because I slept with him?”

“No,” she quickly says. “Amy only lost her job because it ended up in the news, and it was so close to all the Rich and Charlotte shit going down. There’s no way you’ll lose your job. John wouldn’t let it happen.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I sigh.

“So, what’s worrying you then? I mean, how did you guys leave it?”

“Um…well, we didn’t exactly leave it. Afterward, he asked me to stay, and we fell asleep. Then, I woke up, and Carrick was sleeping, so…I just kinda…left.”

“Oh my God! You snuck out!” She cackles. “Well, that makes a change. A woman sneaking out on Carrick. It’s usually him doing the running.”

I slide a glance to her. “You think he’ll be mad?”

“Nah, he’s…Carrick,” she says his name as though it’s an explanation. “But…he asked you to stay over after you guys had sex?” The tone of her voice has changed to surprise and curiosity.

“Mmhmm.” I start to chew on my thumbnail.

Petra swats at my hand, stopping me.

I give her a look, and then I let out another sigh. “I said I’d leave, so he could get some sleep, but he said he wanted me to stay, so I agreed.”

“Wow…”

“What?”

“Well, from what I’ve heard, Carrick doesn’t ask girls to sleep over. He usually pushes them out the door the second after he’s come.”

“Nice,” I mutter.

But he wasn’t that way with me. If anything, he was sweet.

“Do you think he
likes
you?”

I shoot her a look.

Do I?

Even if he did, it doesn’t change anything.

“Nah, not like that. I mean, sure he wanted to shag me, but beyond that, we’re just friends. He was probably just being nice because I work for him.”

“He wasn’t nice to Amy or Charlotte.”

“Yeah, but they didn’t work on his team. I keep his car running. Maybe he thought I might cut his brakes if he were a bastard to me.” I grin, but I don’t really feel it inside. Honestly, I don’t know what I feel. Just talking to Petra about this has me all rattled and confused.

Petra chuckles. “I doubt that’s why. I don’t know. He is different with you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He might really like you, Andi.”

“No.” I vehemently shake my head. “Carrick’s not into me in that way. He just wanted to shag me.”

She stares at me for a minute with a light in her eyes, and then it dims. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Just me and my romantic notions about taming bad boys. I’m getting carried away. I do love a good love story. But you’re right. Carrick’s not the relationship kind.”

I know it’s true. I all but forced her thoughts in that direction. So, why does hearing her say it bother me so much?

“So, you don’t think he’ll be pissed that I snuck out then?”

“Nah, he’ll be fine. Guys don’t get upset by that sort of stuff. It’s us women who freak out if we wake up and the guy isn’t there. We’re more emotional about sex than they are—well, maybe barring you.”

“Hey!” I playfully push her, making her laugh. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I just mean, you’re the one who snuck out on Carrick. All the women he’s slept with generally hang in there until the very end, clinging on to the hope that he might offer them a little more.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not like those women. I know who Carrick is and what last night was about. Anyway, I don’t get involved with drivers.” I get up from the bed, and retrieve my phone from my clutch. “I’m gonna hit the shower and then head into the track.”

“Cool. Well, I’m going back to sleep while you have a shower. Wake me up when you’re done, so I can jump in. Gotta go in and prep the food to feed the rich and obnoxious.” She gets up from my bed and climbs back in hers.

I get my necklace from my vanity bag, and take it with me into the bathroom. I shut the door and turn the light on.

I set the shower to hot. Pulling the toilet seat down, I sit on it and stare down at the necklace in my hand.

I might know what last night was, and I might have been the one who left Carrick’s room, but I’m not feeling as easy about it as I just made out to Petra.

It’s affected me. In fact, I’ve never felt so affected by anything…or by someone in my whole life.

Closing my eyes, all I can see is him. I can still smell him on my skin, still feel his touch.

I just wish…

What? What do I want?

Carrick?

I almost laugh out loud at myself.

I’ve been wishing for too many things since Carrick came into my life. That he wasn’t a driver. That I could have him.

This needs to stop.

Taking a deep breath, I steel myself and swipe the screen on my phone, bringing it to life.

Using Google, I type
William Wolfe accident
into the search engine.

Images of my father’s crash flood my screen.

I feel a pain stab so sharp through my heart that it makes me gasp. But I need to look at these pictures. I need a reminder as to why I can’t have Carrick. He lives a dangerous life, and I can’t go through losing someone I love again.