Revved (25 page)

“Take it easy,” he whispers in my ear.

I flicker a glance at him, and he gives me a calming smile.

“She’s not worth it.”

“Yeah…” I exhale. “You’re right.”

Loosening his hold but keeping his arm around me, he leans forward and says loudly, “Actually, Sienna, Andi is our best mechanic. She’s better than all of us put together. She’s the most talented mechanic I’ve ever worked with. Honestly, I don’t know what the team would do without her.”

I know he’s just saying it to be kind and to stick up for me, but irrespective of why, it works because I feel a hundred times better than I did a moment ago. And I kind of love Ben in this moment,

Grinning up into his face, I say, “Are you drunk? Because it’s not like you to give me a compliment.”

His eyes smile at me. “I give you compliments all the time. You just never listen.”

“Aw.” I grin at him, and then I lean in and whisper, “You’re a good friend, Ben.”

He shrugs, and then he says quietly, “I can’t have our best mechanic getting sacked because she knocked out Carrick’s latest squeeze.”

Laughing softly, I pat his arm, which is still around me.

Ben lifts his arm from my shoulders, and I turn to the table to get my drink, but I freeze at the sight of Carrick’s angry eyes on me. His jaw is set so tight that it looks like it might shatter.

Then, without warning, the anger in his eyes flames into something else entirely, setting my body on fire. I have to press my thighs together to contain the sudden ache, and I can feel my body quickly stirring to life as memories of our one night together flicker through my mind.

Coming back to my senses, knowing there’s a table full of people here, I break our stare. Then, I catch sight of Sienna’s eyes swinging between Carrick and me, and I know that she saw the look that just transpired between us.

Her brows pull together, like she’s working something out.

And then I see it settle on her face. She knows Carrick and I have slept together.

Fuck.

Something really uncomfortable stirs in my stomach.

She twists in her seat to face me. “So, your name is Andi?” she says, her tone biting.

“Yes…” I answer carefully.

“Andi…” she says in a bitchy singsong voice. “Andi, who has a man’s job and a man’s name. Maybe you should just go the whole hog and have a sex change, not that there’s much to change!”

She belts out a laugh like it’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard. She glances around the table, expecting the others to be laughing with her. But what she’s failing to realize is that these are my friends, not hers. And no one is laughing.

“Sienna,” Carrick snaps out her name in warning.

“What? It was just a joke! Can’t you people take a joke?” She lets out an awkward laugh.

God, I’m so fucking done here that it’s not even funny.

“Sure it was a joke.” Pushing my chair out, I get my jacket off the back and pull it on. “Just like your face. But the thing is, Sienna, yes, I could trade my vagina for a cock, but sadly for you, you can’t fix ugly.” Throwing a quick glance around the table, ignoring Carrick’s eyes and Sienna’s open mouth, I say, “I’ll catch you all tomorrow.” Then, I turn on my heel and start walking away.

I hear Carrick calling my name, but I just ignore him, moving my legs as fast as they’ll go.

“Jesus, Andressa. Just wait up, will you?” He finally catches up with me. He tugs on my arm, pulling me to a stop.

“What?” I shake my arm free of his hand. My skin is left burning where he just touched me.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

I turn away and start walking again.

“Jesus, just…wait!”

Sighing, I turn back, putting my hands on my hips. “What do you want, Carrick?”

“I just…” His eyes go to the ground. He looks unsure for a moment. Then, he lifts his eyes back to mine, his confidence back. “Where are you going?”

“To the hotel.”

Then, wouldn’t you know? Little miss pop princess comes marching up in her pretty heels. “Carrick!” she cracks his name out like a whip. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

He turns his head to her and gives her such a stare that I even shudder. Seriously, his look could take down a bear. I’m not surprised when she shrinks back because I probably would at the level of anger emanating from him.

“I’m making sure Andressa is okay.” His voice is like granite. “So, go back to the bar, sit the fuck down, and try not to offend any more of my friends before I get back.”

Friend? Oh, so now I’m his friend.

“Ugh! Whatever!” She throws up her hands, swivels on her heel, and sashays back in the direction of the bar.

The moment she’s gone, I turn and start walking.

Goal—get away from Carrick.

Plan—catch a cab and go to bed.

And possibly cry.

Carrick falls in step beside me.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I flash an angry look his way.

“Coming with you.”

“Well, I’m going back to the hotel and then straight to bed, and you’re most definitely not invited.”

He lets out a throaty chuckle, and I have to fight hard to keep the smile from my lips.

“Habits” by Tove Lo and Hippie Sabotage starts to hum from the speakers of one of the bars we pass.

I love this song. The lyrics. Just sometimes…I wish I could numb the pain.

Out of nowhere, I suddenly feel exhausted and sad. Really sad.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I say in a quiet voice, “Go back to the bar, Carrick. I’ll be fine on my own.”

“Andressa, I know you think I’m a total bastard, but there’s no way I’m letting you walk around late at night on your own. Anything could happen to you.”

“Like you’d care.” I regret it the moment I say it.

He grabs my arm. Pulling me to a stop, he stands in front of me, way too close. I can practically taste his aftershave on my tongue and feel the warmth of his breath on my face.

His hand is still on my arm, and it’s burning me from the outside in, right down to my core.

I need him to stop touching me…and never stop touching me.

I’m so confused, and it hurts like a physical pain.

“Of course I’d care,” he says low. “You’re—” He cuts off. Rubbing his forehead with the heel of his free hand, he takes a step back.

He drops his hand from my arm, and I’m more than relieved for the space.

“You’re my friend, Andressa.” He sounds resigned.

I just don’t know to what he’s resigned.

I laugh, and it’s a hollow sound. “We’re hardly friends right now.”

His face tightens, and I see his jaw start to work angrily.

Not wanting another fight, I step around him and start walking again.

A moment later, he’s back beside me, keeping pace, but he says nothing more, and silence ensues.

“How have you been?” he finally asks in a soft voice.

I keep my eyes fixed ahead. “Good. You?”

“Same.”

We lapse back into that horrible silence. It’s heartbreaking being in such an uncomfortable silence with him. From the moment I met Carrick, finding something to talk about was never an issue for us.

Just everything else it seems.

I hear a noise behind us. Glancing over my shoulder, hoping it’s not the pop princess, I see a man. It’s the same man, I now remember, who was lingering outside the bar we were in. I also remember seeing him hovering nearby when Carrick first caught up with me. I just didn’t register it in my anger.

I only noticed him before because he’s such a big guy, and now, in the darkness of the harbor, he looks even bigger and a little menacing. He’s walking way too close to us for my liking.

“Carrick…” I hiss. “I know this might sound a little crazy, but I think we’re being followed.” I jerk my head back in the direction of the huge dude.

Carrick looks back and chuckles. “Don’t worry. He’s my security. Dad assigned me a guard while I’m here. You know, it being Monte Carlo, race crazy, and with me being—”

“You.” I smile.

“Yeah.” He laughs again. “And with the press attention being a little more intense because of Sienna—” He cuts off.

The lightness that I was just feeling is obliterated.

He lets out a sigh. “I’m sorry about the way she spoke to you.”

“It’s not your fault.” I shrug.
She’s a stark raving bitch all on her own.

“Yeah, but she’s here with me. And she had no right speaking to you the way she did. It won’t happen again.”

I don’t care how she spoke to me. I just care that she’s here with you. I hate that she’s here with you.

Of course, I don’t say that. I just shrug again and say, “It doesn’t matter.”

“When it comes to you,
everything
matters.”

His words knock the air from my lungs.

I want to know what that means. And I don’t.

God, I’m so screwed up.

Dipping my chin, I stare down at my moving feet. “How long have you known her?”

“Not long.”

At least he didn’t know her before he slept with me. Still, I don’t know whether to feel better or worse at that fact.

“I met her after I got back to the UK.”

When you left Barcelona and me behind.
“Right.”

“I didn’t invite her here.”

“Mmhmm.”

“She just kind of invited herself, and Dad was there when she said something about coming. He thought the press she would bring would be positive—you know, with me actually being with just one woman for once.”

He laughs, and it’s an uncomfortable sound. I really don’t like it or any of what he’s telling me.

“And…I guess I just went along with it.”

I stare at him blankly. “Why are you telling me this?”

He blows out a breath, pushing his hands into his jean pockets. “I don’t know.” He lifts his shoulders, looking helpless.

We’ve reached the main road now, and luck is on my side because I see a cab with its light on approaching. I put my hand out to flag it down.

The cab pulls up, and I reach for the door handle, but I pause.

For the past two weeks, I’ve wanted to apologize to Carrick for what I said to him, and this might be the only chance I have.

My heart starts to beat in my chest, my fingers trembling, as I turn back to him. “Carrick…what I said in Barcelona about my job and Amy and Charlotte, I shouldn’t have said it. It was a shitty thing to say.”

“You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”

“Well, still…I am sorry.” I let out a light sigh. “The worst thing is, I don’t know why I said it because that wasn’t what was at the forefront of my mind at that moment.”
Not losing you was.

Gripping the handle, I stop myself from saying any more. No matter what, I don’t think anything I can say will get us back to where we were before that night.

“Anyway, thanks for walking me. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” I climb in the cab, closing the door behind me, leaving Carrick where he is standing on the street.

BECAUSE I’VE BEEN AVOIDING CARRICK
and his pop princess, I didn’t go out on Friday night even though Petra had begged me to. I stood fast and stayed at the hotel with room service and Jason Bourne for company. I was in the mood for a kick-arse movie.

As it turns out, it was a good job I hadn’t gone out because Carrick and the pop princess were there. Petra has taken a real dislike to Sienna purely because of the way she’d treated me. But Petra did say Sienna had been fine with her—a bit snooty, but nothing how she had been with me.

Seems like her ultimate bitch is reserved solely for me. Or maybe she heeded what Carrick had said to her.

Petra did tell me that Carrick had barely spoken to Sienna all night, preferring to drink with the boys. She also said he’d pulled her aside and asked where I was. She said he’d looked disappointed when she told him that I wasn’t coming out. She made some white lie up for me, saying I was just feeling a little unwell, so he wouldn’t think I hadn’t gone out because of him.

See? This is why I love this girl.

I didn’t see Carrick much yesterday. I kept busy with work, and I didn’t see him until it was time to come down for qualifying. I did wish him luck as I handed him his helmet. But that was the extent of our contact.