Rhyannon Byrd - Primal Instinct 05 (35 page)

Walking to the side of the bed, Kierland stared down
at Morgan’s pale, blood-streaked face through a burning sheen of tears, his
hands shaking, his heart lodged in his throat like a boulder. He made a raw,
fractured sound of rage as he looked over the slender length of her body,
unable to believe what he was seeing. Her jeans and sweater were completely
shredded by claw and bite marks, her delicate skin bloodied and bruised and
torn open by those sick bastards. The Death-Walkers had obviously been toying
with her, taking their turns attacking her. His hands clenched into trembling
fists as he thought about how terrified she must have been.

“She’s been unconscious since I found her,” Granger
rasped. “She’s lost a helluva lot of blood, and her self-healing abilities
aren’t powerful enough to deal with the damage. Something has to be done.”

Knowing exactly what the vamp meant by something,
Kierland lowered his head and pressed his thumb and forefinger over his
eyelids, his facial muscles pulled into a tight grimace. He wanted so badly to
be selfish and take what he wanted, but for once, he needed to make this about
Morgan. Not his wants. Not his desires. But hers.

He couldn’t ignore the memory of how devastated she’d
been when the vampire had broken things off with her all those years ago. A
pale, hollow ghost of herself. Clearly, she’d been nuts about the guy. Which
meant there really wasn’t any choice. If Kierland loved her, and God only knew
that he did, then he had to do what was right. To hell with what it did to his
own life. As Morgan had told him before, not everything was about him. What he
wanted didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she got what she wanted.

Cutting a narrow look toward Granger, he took a deep
breath, then forced out the five fractured, guttural words that would
permanently tear out a piece of his soul. “You have to bite her.”

Kierland knew a Deschanel couldn’t “make” a vampire.
You were either born one or you weren’t. But the males of the species could
pass on some of their traits when they took a mate and bonded with her. It was
done through a special serum that they carried in their genetic makeup. They
would make a bite, inject the serum into the female’s bloodstream and then
nature would do the rest.

From the foot of the bed, Granger returned his stare
with a piercing gaze, and asked, “Why me?”

“Because she loves you,” Kierland conceded, the words
vibrating with emotion as he moved his gaze back to Morgan, “and no matter how
badly I want her, I’d rather see her live a long, happy life with you than a
miserable one with me.”

A heavy, breath-filled silence, while the heat of
Granger’s shocked gaze burned against the side of his face, and then the vamp
quietly said, “You really do love her, don’t you? I had my doubts that you had
it in you, especially after today. But it couldn’t be clearer now.”

“What does it matter?” he growled, his pulse roaring
in his ears as he struggled to keep it together. Keep from falling apart. He
could fall apart later, after Morgan was no longer bleeding out in front of
him, as pale as a ghost. “All that matters is making the choice she’d make for
herself, if she could.”

“That,” Granger rasped, “is how I know you’re in love
with her.”

Forcing himself to move back a step, Kierland shoved
his fingers through his windblown hair, his breaths coming in hard, ragged
bursts as he shot a furious glare toward the vampire. “Christ, we don’t have
time for this bullshit,” he snarled. “How and what I feel are irrelevant. All
that matters is keeping her alive. So get your ass in gear and do it!”

With a rough sigh, Granger crossed his arms over his
broad chest and said, “I can’t. As badly as I’m tempted, I won’t do that to
her.”

A dark, primitive sound tore from Kierland’s throat,
and he fisted his hands at his sides. “Damn it, she loves you!”

“As a friend, you jackass.” The vampire jerked his
chin toward him. “It’s gonna have to be you.”

“No.” He shuddered, and took another heavy step away
from the bed, not trusting himself to be near her. “That’s not even possible.”

Granger stared back, unrelenting. “Why the hell not?”

Rubbing his hand over his mouth, Kierland struggled to
put his chaotic thoughts in order. “She can’t be turned to a Lycan,” he
explained in a raw voice, “because she’s already a shifter, which means that I
can’t change to ‘were’ form and pass the gene on through my bite. The only way
I can give her the healing trait is by marking her. I’d have to bite her in
human form, with the wolf’s fangs. And because of how I feel about her, that
would…bind her to me.”

“Then do it,” Granger grunted. “And before you waste
more time telling me you can’t, there’s something I might as well go ahead and
make clear right now. Morgan is the one who left me, not the other way around.
She tried to make our relationship work, but she couldn’t, because she was in
love with you. And she still is.”

Stunning bolts of shock skittered through his system,
making his head spin, and he stumbled back another step. “You’re lying,” he
said unsteadily, shaking, afraid to let himself believe. “I saw the two of you
together. She was crazy about you.”

A wry smile touched Granger’s mouth, and he lowered
his head, rubbing at the back of his neck. “She tried to be, but she couldn’t
get over you. She’s been in love with you forever, and you’ve been so wrapped
up in yourself, you’ve never been able to see it. But it’s always been there.”
He lifted his head, a hard glint in his pale eyes as he blew out a ragged
breath and went on, adding, “She loved you so much she almost died for you. And
I’m not talking about tonight.”

Kierland stared, something about the vamp’s tone
causing the tiny hairs to lift on the back of his neck.

Wearing a dark, primal expression of anger and
disgust, Granger said, “How do you think we found the rogue nest of vampires
that killed your girlfriend? While you were wallowing in guilt, drinking
yourself stoned, Morgan offered herself up as bait. The plan went wrong, and by
the time we found her, the vampires had already dragged her underground. They
had her pinned down, all of them on her at once, and she was making the most
god-awful sounds I’ve ever heard. Begging, screaming, pleading for someone to
help her.”

“That’s why she doesn’t like to be crowded by people,”
he croaked, his face misted with sweat. “Why she doesn’t like to be in close
spaces.”

Granger nodded. “It’s also part of the reason why she
looked like she did when you thought I’d left her. She blamed herself for not
being able to get over you, so that something between us could have a chance.
But she was also still dealing with the trauma from the attack.”

It was nearly impossible, but he finally managed to
ask, “Did they…rape her?”

“No, but it was close.” The vampire locked his jaw,
his profile stark as he stared down at Morgan’s blood-covered body. “They had
her stripped, their hands and mouths all over her, but I got there just before
one of them penetrated her. A second later, and it would have been too late.
The bastard was already between her legs.”

It took a moment before he could get his throat to
work, too much fury and regret and guilt raging through his system, making him
feel like hammered shit. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?” he finally managed to
rasp.

A low, bitter laugh, and Granger shook his head. “She
begged us not to, if you can believe it. Said you had enough to deal with. And
you were so out of it at the time, the others agreed.”

He found himself moving a little closer to the bed,
his eyes burning with tears that he didn’t even try to hide. “I can’t…can’t
believe she would have done something like that.”

“Not so hard to believe, considering how crazy she was
about you.” The vamp paused, then quietly asked, “Did you honestly not know how
she felt?”

His throat shook so badly, Kierland could barely get
the words out. “I didn’t dare…hope. I was just…I couldn’t…”

“You were scared.”

For once, there was no judgment in Granger’s deep
voice, and he sucked in a sharp breath, then gave a jerky nod. “Yeah. Always
have been when it comes to her.” Hoarse, fractured words, rough with emotion.
“I loved her, and it scared the hell out of me.”

Kierland could see the past so clearly now that it
hurt, like a wound that’d been carved into his heart. Could see what an idiot
he’d been with a sharp, painful clarity that made him want to throw back his
head and howl. Over the years, he’d built up an image of Morgan in his mind to
help him stay away from her. But deep down, he’d always known it was a fraud.
He hadn’t sought out the truth, choosing to believe the rumors, as well as the
lies he told himself, because it made it easier to keep his distance.

He’d been a jackass. And he didn’t deserve her. But…he
wasn’t prepared to lose her, either. Which meant he was just going to have to
spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to her. Trying to become a man
who was worthy of her love.

He was still scared as hell of something happening to
her, and always would be. But he would suck it up and deal, because he got it
now. Loving her meant surrendering to it all, even the fear, and fighting for
what he wanted. Yeah, he’d probably be overprotective and possessive, but
Morgan was strong enough to keep him in line. She was a beautiful, breathtaking
goddess, and he was going to spend the rest of his life worshipping at her
feet, thanking God for every moment that he had with her.

Moving between them, to the side of her bed, Granger
reached down and gripped her wrist, checking her pulse. Fear burned in his pale
eyes as he looked over his shoulder, locking his gaze with Kierland’s. “If you
don’t do it soon,” he said, “you’re going to lose her.”

He nodded, swallowed and started to move around the
Deschanel, but Granger turned and blocked his way. “But make sure,” the vamp
warned him in a hard voice, his gray eyes glittering with emotion. “She’d
rather go now, than be stuck with you for the rest of her life if you don’t
really want her.”

“She’s all I’ve ever wanted,” he rasped, the husky
confession scratching his throat.

“Then do this thing and make her right,” Granger
muttered, scrubbing his hands down his face. “Drives me crazy seeing her like
this.”

Feeling the strained bands of his jealousy beginning
to snap, one by one, Kierland said, “You really care about her, don’t you?”

Granger rolled his eyes and snorted. “I won’t be
trying to steal her away,” he murmured, his tone dry, “so don’t waste your time
worrying about it.”

“No…I just,” Kierland swallowed, took a deep breath,
then held out his hand and said, “thank you for being her friend. For taking
care of her all these years.”

Looking a little shell-shocked himself, the vampire
shook his hand, cast another worried glance over his shoulder at Morgan, then
pulled his hand down his face again. “Okay, then. I’m getting outta here. This
is too much for me.”

“Wait,” Kierland called out, as Granger pulled open
the door, an icy blast of wind whipping through the room. With one hand on the
door frame and the other on the handle, the vamp looked back at him, and
Kierland said, “There’s still one thing I can’t figure out. Why has she always
claimed that you were the one who broke things off?”

A low laugh slid lazily from Granger’s lips, and he
smiled. “That was Morgan’s idea. She didn’t want to ruin my reputation. Always
has been too sweet for her own good.” His head tilted a little to the side, and
his eyes narrowed as he said, “Just so you know, Watchman, I’ll be keeping an
eye on you, making sure you treat her right.”

Kierland jerked his chin to acknowledge the warning,
and then the door closed behind the vampire, leaving him and Morgan alone in
the firelit room. With his heart pounding to a powerful, thundering beat, he
walked to the bed and stared down at the woman who’d turned his entire world on
its head from the moment he’d first met her. Things had never been right since,
because he’d wasted so many years fighting the inevitable.

But not anymore.

Careful not to jar her, Kierland lowered himself onto
the bed, bracing himself on an elbow as he lay down beside her. She didn’t
move, the rise and fall of her chest so faint, it was nearly imperceptible. The
back of his throat burned, and he leaned over her, pressing his wet face to the
exquisitely soft, chilled skin at the side her throat. He could feel her
fading, drifting away from him, and his voice shook as he put his mouth to the
tender shell of her ear and whispered, “I hope that you can hear me,
sweetheart, because I love you. I should have told you today. Damn it, I should
have told you a thousand times before, and I’m sorry for each time that I
didn’t. For every second that we lost. But…but I promise you that I’ll never
let you down again. I’ll tell you every day, with words and the touch of my
body and the way that I look at you. I swear you’ll never have to second-guess
or wonder how I feel. I’ll be the most obvious bastard alive, and I don’t give
a damn how badly the others rib me about it. I don’t care about anything but
you. About spending the rest of my life with you and making you happy.”

The fire in the hearth crackled as the Lycan drew in a
deep breath and pushed her hair back from the pale, precious angles of her
face. His heart beat faster as he pressed a tender kiss to the corner of her
eye…the feminine curve of her jaw…the fragile column of her throat.