Authors: K.A. Holt
Mrs. Little isn't even a teacher
so why can she send me to Hartwick?
Life's mysteries
abound.
Suspended.
A word that can describe medicine.
The little bits of healthy mold
suspended
in pink goo
so that the kids like the bits enough
to swallow them.
Suspended.
A word that can describe stopping
like someone hit a pause button and you are
suspended
in time and space
your finger frozen inches from your
nose.
Suspended.
A word that can describe
me.
You should have seen Mom's face
when she came to pick me up.
Not red.
Not purple.
No forehead veins,
like Hartwick's.
She just smiled really big.
I'll deal with him
, she said
and then she laughed
but I know she wasn't really laughing.
Unless something
was funny
on her phone.
I dreamed about that smile last night
and woke up
shivering.
Mom hasn't talked to me
in 24 hours.
Dad is on call so he'll be back tomorrow.
Today is the first day
of three days
of not being allowed at school.
Is this what it means to be
dealt with
?
Isn't this sort of every kid's dream?
Missing parents.
No school.
Long weekend.
Is suspension really that big of a deal?
Paul says yes. It is a big deal.
But Paul never gets in trouble,
so how does he know?
The band is here tonight,
Petey and his friends
who all look the same.
They make sounds kind of like
the tornado did
but noisier
and less memorable.
Noisier Tornado.
That could be their band name.
I guess when you're suspended you're supposed to
think
about what you've done.
I am supposed to
think
shoving Robin under the sinks was
not cool.
I am supposed to
think
I'll never do anything like that
again.
You know what I really
think?
Petey shoves me under the sink
in the bathroom at home
All.
The.
Time.
No.
Big.
Deal.
No.
One.
Cares.
Get this.
As part of my punishment
Mom and Dad say Petey can't drive me
to school
anymore.
If I had known these were the
severe consequences
I'd face
I would have gotten suspended
a lot
sooner.
Intervention.
That's what Paul called it.
He's taking a nighttime college class.
It's for nerds who want to be psychiatrists.
It teaches them words like “intervention.”
When he said it, I thought he meant for me
but he meant for Petey.
He took Petey aside
while Petey rolled his eyes.
Paul told him to be a better big brother,
a better person.
Paul is the only one who sees Petey
as he is,
a King Kong jerk.
You'd think
Philip would see the King Kong jerk part, tooâ
but Philip is too busy
with football and girls
to notice anything
other than cheerleaders or boobs.
Paul told Petey to
watch it
.
Petey said
Watch THIS
.
And then punched a wall.
Paul rumpled my hair.
I think my getting suspended bothered Paul
more than anyone else.
More than
me.
Well.
My notebook is not lost.
Guess who found it?
Shrimpy Robin.
His face is like a dog
with a juicy bone.
Whatever.
No one can hear your heart beat fast
when you are jagged stone.
Mrs. Little put 50 pounds of books
in my arms.
Shelve them
, she said.
Her mouth was tight,
puckered
like a cat
('s
butt).
This is part of the punishment.
Not just suspension.
Becoming Mrs. Little's slave
for two weeks
after school.
So boring
I might
die.
I did not die.
But now I might.
Robin made copies of some pages from my
notebook.
COPIES.
Gave them to everyone.
EVERYONE.
Guess who's going to get to watch his nose
EXPLODE OFF HIS FACE?
At least Robin didn't copy my secret
about messing up the books.
And at least he didn't copy Petey's crying secret.
Even with Petey in high school
he would still find out
from someone's big mouth.
I'm sure of it.
So now I'm worried
because Robin knows my secrets.
And I know he knows.
And he knows I know he knows.
And the way his smile curls like the Grinch
is no good.
That I know for sure.
Deep breaths.
Jagged stone turns to smooth rock.
Cold rock.
Rocks don't die.
Rocks have no feelings.
Rocks don't care.