Authors: K.A. Holt
Instead of dying and being wrapped up,
it wraps itself up to live.
To become something new,
something with freedom.
Something pretty.
Unless it's a moth.
A moth still has freedom,
but it's
Ugly
Gross
Brown
Dusty.
It's just a dirty moth.
In that case, metamorphosis is kind of sad.
Little caterpillar wraps itself up
like a kid in elementary school
going to sleep
and waking up a pizza-faced middle school weirdo.
Robin is changing, growing wings
every day
in a chrysalis made of my notebook.
A revenge chrysalis.
(Which would be a good name for a band.)
If I squint, I can see his
Ugly
Gross
Dusty
Dirty
moth wings.
His pizza face.
His pale eyes
glowing with greed
at the laughs he gets
at my expense
that Mrs. Smithson ignores.
Just like fake moth eyes on ugly wings
Robin's eyes
better be hiding
his true selfâ
that he is still scared of me.
Because he should be.
Dad asked what was going on.
But he meant it like,
Hey, bro! What's going on?
Like a dude punching another dude's shoulder
at the beach.
So I said:
Nothing
Because that's what he wanted me to say.
If I am made of stone at home
no one can bother me.
If I am made of stone at school
no one can bother me.
Paul says even stones have to crack
to let out steam.
But what he doesn't understand is that
there is always someone
who wants to stick their head in a crack
and sniff around.
Hahaha.
But seriously.
Paul is so annoying.
Hartwick was looking at me
from his office across the hall.
I wanted to say
You can't look at me like that
.
I wanted to say
Hide those beady eyes back under your greasy lids
.
I wanted to say
Go away
.
But I didn't say anything
because the nurse was putting antiseptic on my lip
where it busted open
after I fell on it
in the hallway
when Robin tripped me
and said
Poetry boy can't write sentences
or walk, either
.
And Giant John laughed.
It's a shame, really,
how Mrs. Smithson ignores Robin
as he seeks revenge.
She is depriving him
of the ceiling stain
of Hartwick's tie-nightmare-of-the-day
of the SHOUTING ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY.
The moth-faced boy flies free.
Again.
My heartbeat in my lip.
Mom pinched her face up tight.
She made sure I didn't need stitches.
Philip high-fived me
when I said
You should've seen the other guy
.
Petey just rolled his eyes
and Paul sighed real big.
But there was no other guy.
Unless you count Robin
looking innocent
as Mrs. Smithson and Harry
bobbled by.
Robin says it's time for another Poetry Bandit
thing.
I told him to go rip out a page from the library.
He said no, that I should do it.
Blackmail stinks.
(Another good band name.)
I put it up before I gave it to Robin.
I think he grew three inches just from being mad.
He wanted to get “caught” putting it up,
by me.
I told him to go sign his name if he wants all the credit.
But someone had already thrown it away.
The teachers, they learn fast.
Mrs. Little looks at me sideways.
I know she wants to say something
but I don't want to listen
so I pretend I don't see
her eyes
in the corner of her face
like a hieroglyph.
It's not like I never had a fat lip.
That's what I want to say
to her hieroglyph eye.
Every time I look up and see her
she is staring.
And she doesn't look away.
It's like she wants me to see.
She's looking, searching, telling me something
that I can't hear.
Just like my lip keeps a beat
to a song I can't hear.
I'm glad for the books today,
heavy in my hands.
They go on the shelves,
one after the other.
I don't have to think.
I don't want to think.
Building a fortress
of books
all around me.