Authors: Xanthe Walter
you said a few weeks ago, about how much you
love spanking your subs. You made it sound like
it's the most beautiful thing in the world to you, and
that's how I can understand that you'd miss it so
much."
"So, you're volunteering to let me spank you?"
Rick asked incredulously. Matt nodded, slowly.
"You mean, like a pity spank?" Rick growled.
"No! Nothing like that!"
"Sounds exactly like that! You guys all got
together and thought, 'Rick is being a pain in the
ass, so we'll send Matt over there to take pity on
him.' Damn it, with friends like you…"
"No!" Matt said quickly. He knelt down, put
his hands on Rick's knees, and gazed at him
earnestly. "Honestly - it wasn't like that. Everyone
really cares about you, and this was just a
suggestion. We all went along with it."
"But you're the one they sent over."
"Well, we had to draw straws - matches
really - to see who got to come over here and
offer, and it was me. Um - yay?"
Rick stared at him, trying to process this, and
then, eventually, he sighed. "Well, thank you, Matt
but it's a dumb idea."
"Is it though?" Matt asked gently. "I mean, if it
helps you, then why is it a dumb idea? I'm not
talking about sex… um… I think you know that.
Just a spank buddy. Plenty of people have those."
Rick really wished Matt wasn't kneeling in
front of him right now. He'd always had a
weakness for kneeling subs. "A spank buddy," he
said slowly, turning the idea around in his head.
"Just a daily spanking - no strings attached.
I'll come to your trailer every morning until things
get better for you, and we can, um, do it."
"No," Rick said, pushing Matt's hands off his
knees.
Matt sat back, looking upset. "Why?" he
asked. "Is it me? You don't like the idea of
spanking me? I'm not the right kind of sub, am I? I
don't do it for you."
"No!" Rick got up abruptly. "No, that's not it,"
he said more quietly, shaking his head. "You're
fine - I mean, look at you! You're beautiful - any
dom would love having you over their knees!"
Matt's eyes brightened. "Then why -"
"Matt - it's this," Rick interrupted him
forcefully. "In all the time I've known you, I've
never heard you talk about spanking - you never
even joke about. It doesn't seem to be something
you do with your doms. I have no idea if it's
something you enjoy or not - and the thing is,
there's no fun in it for me if the sub doesn't love it
too."
Matt sat back on his heels, looking up at Rick
with a surprised expression. "Oh," he said.
"Yeah. Oh." Rick rolled his eyes. "Maybe
that's something you guys should have thought of
before you came up with this crazy plan."
Matt gazed at the floor, looking utterly
miserable.
"Matt?" Rick crouched down in front of him.
"What's going on?"
Matt shook his head and stayed looking at the
floor as if he didn't trust himself to speak.
"Matt?" Rick reached out and put a gentle
hand on Matt's messy hair. "C'mon, buddy, this is
me! You've always been able to talk to me."
Matt peeped up at him. "You're right," he
said. "I never want to give my doms any reason to
spank me, so I always try very hard to be a good
sub. A couple of my doms have given me a few
swats with a switch or a strap or whatever… but it
wasn't fun. I never liked it. It was just punishment.
It wasn't sexy like it is in the movies or stories."
He made face. "It just seemed to be part of the
fucked up relationships I end up in."
"So maybe spanking isn't your thing," Rick
said quietly, still stroking Matt's hair. "That's okay.
Everyone likes different stuff. Estelle never stops
going on about her love of bondage; that sub has
been tied up every which way - and told us about
most of them." He gave a bark of laughter, and
Matt relaxed a little more under his hand.
"No, but you see, the thing is…" Matt pulled
himself up straight and looked Rick in the eye.
"The thing is… I'd like to try it. Doing it for fun
and pleasure rather than punishment, I mean. It's
something I've fantasized about for years - only I
haven't done it for real because I'm scared."
Rick frowned. "Scared of what?"
"I'm not sure. Maybe that I won't be able to let
go and get into it, so I'll ruin it for myself? Or…
or… that I'll get lost in it… that it'll pull me into
some place I don't want to go because it's too
deep, too intense, and too scary?"
"Like sub-space?" Rick asked.
Matt flushed. "Yes."
"But I thought you wanted to find your sub-
space?"
"I do! But I'm also scared of it too because it
sounds like such a terrifying place to be. No order,
no control, being helpless, and in someone else's
hands…" Matt shivered. "It's kind of my worst
nightmare and my deepest fantasy at the same
time."
"Maybe it'll take you to a place where you
don't have to count anymore."
Matt made a face. "I can't imagine that kind of
place. I want to believe it exists, but I'm me, so…"
He shrugged.
"Your problem is you overthink things,
Matty."
"Well… yeah." Matt spread his hands
helplessly. "Like I said, I'm me!"
"So, let me get this straight," Rick said,
feeling confused. "You submit yourself to these
soulless, sterile relationships where you let some
cold-hearted dom take a strap to your ass, which
you get no pleasure from whatsoever, and you can
handle that, but you're too scared to try out the fun
kind of spanking - one that's done for the sheer joy
of it, by someone who likes doing it, knows how to
do it properly, and wants it to be good for you?"
Rick asked, rocking back on his heels. "You're
weird, Matty."
That at least made Matt break into a grin.
"And you're, you know, you," he riposted.
"That's lame, Lake. I'm used to being called
an idiotic lunk and other choice insults by you, so
by comparison that one really sucked." Rick
grinned at him and then poked him in the ribs. Matt
knocked his hand away with a little laugh, and they
both relaxed.
Rick sat down beside Matt, with his back
against the couch, and put his arm around Matt's
shoulders. Matt rested his head on Rick's shoulder,
and it felt nice there, so they sat that way for a long
time, in silence.
"So," Rick said finally, turning his face to
look at Matt. "Would you like to try it?"
Matt felt his heart thud loudly inside his chest,
and he turned to look at Rick in surprise.
"Not because of some stupid pact you made
with the other guys in Karl's trailer," Rick said
firmly. "Not because of me or how dumb I've been
acting lately. Not for any other reason than that you
want to try it, to see if you'd like it."
This whole thing had gone so insanely badly
that Matt had thought he was off the hook, and he'd
been both relieved and disappointed at the
prospect of Rick turning down his offer. Now, it
seemed it was back on the table - only for an
entirely different reason.
"No strings, no obligations," Rick said. "You
don't have to please me, or pretend with me, Matty.
You can say if you want it to stop - at any point -
and I'll stop. It's not a punishment, and it's not sex.
It's just spanking." Matt sat there, paralyzed. Rick
moved his hand and smoothed a stray wisp of hair
away from his eyes. "I know you're scared," he
said. "But it's me - how scary can it be?" He
grinned, and Matt found himself grinning back
weakly.
"Yes," he heard himself say, in a small,
pathetic voice, and it sounded like someone else
was talking from a long way away.
Rick smiled at him. "Okay then," he said,
getting up and holding out his hand.
Matt stared at it, panic-stricken. "What -
now?"
"Why not now? I know you, Matty - if you
have any time to think about this you'll drive
yourself nuts and end up counting every crack in
the sidewalk between here and your house. So yes,
we do it now, or we don't do it at all. Your call."
"Right. Now. Okay." Matt gave several
anxious nods and then finally reached out, took
Rick's hand, and hauled himself to his feet. "Um.
What shall I do? Where do you want me?" he said,
in a grimly determined tone. "Shall I lean over the
couch, or brace against the wall? Or I could…"
"I'll decide. I'm in charge now," Rick told him
firmly, and Matt was about to offer a retort when
he realized Rick's whole demeanor had changed.
He had transformed from the lovable idiot into
someone much more masterful.
"Right. Yes, Rick." Matt hopped from one
foot to the other nervously.
Rick sat down on the couch. "Come here." He
beckoned, and Matt shuffled slowly towards him.
Rick reached out and placed his hands on Matt's
belt buckle.
"Uh… what are you doing?" Matt squeaked.
"I'm undoing your pants, Matty. I don't spank
subs on anything but their bare asses. Otherwise
it's not the real deal. I need to be able to see what
I'm doing; to feel the skin warming up under my
hands; to touch, and look, and stroke. Otherwise I
won't do it properly, and if I don't do it properly
then it's not worth doing."
"You're going to spank me with your hand?
On my bare ass?" Matt wasn't sure why that
shocked him, but somehow he wasn't prepared for
the intimacy of it. When a dom had spanked him in
the past, they'd had him bend over or lie flat on the
bed, and they'd always used an implement. Mind
you, they hadn't been the kinds of doms who'd been
into spanking except as a means to enforce the
power dynamic between themselves and him. They
were the doms, and he was the sub, and none of
them had ever said anything about him enjoying it
before. It was simply an exercise in dominance,
and not one he'd ever really understood, or one that
had helped him get into the right mindset to enjoy
his own submission, either. Then again, he did
always pick really bad doms.
Rick's hands were steady on his belt buckle.
"Yes, Matt, I'm going to spank you on your bare
ass, and I bet it's very cute too." Rick grinned at
him. Matt stood there, uncertainly. "Do you trust
me, Matty?" Rick asked quietly.
"Yes - that's not the problem, Rick. The
problem is -"
"Ssh - I know the problem. I also know the
solution. Now trust me and go with it."
Matt nodded and allowed Rick to undo his
belt and then unbutton and unzip his fly. Rick
pulled his jeans down to his ankles, and then,
without warning, took hold of Matty's wrist, and,
with a practiced flick, pulled him down across his
knees.
Matt blinked. One minute he'd been standing
in front of Rick and now he was lying over his
knees, and Rick had done it so easily, without any
awkwardness about getting into position. He could
tell this was something Rick had done many times
before.
"Comfortable?" Rick asked.
Technically
speaking,
Matt
thought
it
shouldn't be comfortable at all, and yet it was.
Rick's thighs were broad and acted like a cushion
for his own slender frame. He was able to rest his
arms on the couch and place his head on them.
"Yes," he murmured.
"Good."
There was a sudden movement and then Matt
felt his boxer shorts being lowered and a cool rush
of air caressing his ass. He blushed and buried his
face in his hands.
"Hey… shush." A warm hand came to rest,
gently, on his newly exposed ass, and stroked it
calmingly. "You have a cute ass, Matty. Very
pretty."
Much as he liked the compliment, Matt felt
too embarrassed to reply. Up close, he could see
the threads making up the pattern on the couch, and
found himself counting the brown ones standing out