Riley Bloom 1 - Radiance (4 page)

Me, a few years later, pedaling furiously on my new purple bike with the training wheels attached, doing my best to keep up with Ever, whose bike was lime green and a heck of a lot faster than mine.

Me, a few years later still, sneaking Ever’s clothes and wearing them to school without her knowing, even though they didn’t exactly fit and I had to roll up the hems and the sleeves.

Me, just last year, not long before the accident, spying on her and her old boyfriend Brandon with a mixture of fascination and revulsion as they kissed on the couch in our den when our parents were having one of their “date nights” and she was supposed to be babysitting me.

And honestly, I have no idea what the Council might’ve been thinking, but as for me, I was mortified. Unable to tear my eyes away from the screen of horrors that unfolded before me, and cringing with embarrassment as I watched an unmistakable pattern of behavior I’d never realized before.

A pattern of behavior I actually swore, time and again, didn’t actually exist.

Having successfully convinced myself it was Ever who wouldn’t stop bugging me, who practically lived just to torment me, and wouldn’t leave me alone no matter how much I complained.

But at that moment, watching the no-holds-barred, well-documented truth play out before me—well, there was no denying the fact that I’d spent the majority of my ridiculously short life stalking her, spying on her, copying her, and pretty much bugging her to the point of harassment.

Over a decade spent in one, long, pitiful attempt to be just like her.

My insides churned as fresh new images filled up the screen, each one that streamed past as equally humiliating as the one just before it. Causing me to wrap my arms around my waist, wanting to make myself smaller, to disappear, to be anywhere but there in that room, on that stage. Feeling all nauseous and clammy, like that time I got seasick at the lake.

My whole life had been a lie.

Not at all what I’d thought.

And there was just no hiding from that fact anymore.

Sure there were other moments mixed in, ones where Ever was off somewhere with her friends while I hung out with mine. But, for the most part, well, it was completely unbalanced, and there was just no getting around it.

As far as little sisters went, I was your everyday, garden-variety, textbook, pain in the bum.

“Are these like—edited—or maybe even, um, you know, Photoshopped, or something?” I asked, my voice going all high and screechy, in what my mom used to call my liar’s voice. The one I used when the last cookie was gone and I was under suspicion, or the house was a mess and I’d been the only one home. And don’t think the members of the Council didn’t notice.

I hung my head low and turned away from the screen, knowing there was nothing more to do. Nothing more to say. It was all over now, and all I could do was sit back and wait to learn just what would become of me.

It wasn’t over.

It seemed like it should’ve been.

I wanted it to be.

But noooo. Not even close.

Just as I was awaiting the verdict to come down, this scratchy, staticky kind of sound came at me from all four walls, and I couldn’t help it, no matter how much I didn’t want to see it, I looked. Peering over my shoulder, and seeing the way the images suddenly changed, going all hazy and misty as the light dimmed to a yellowy glow I immediately recognized. My insides curling in on itself like a fist, instinctively knowing that no matter how bad it had seemed just a few moments before, things had just taken a major turn for the worse.

They’d caught me in Summerland too.

That mystical dimension between the earth plane and this one where I lingered for—well, let’s just say I stayed there for much longer than I was supposed to.

And so I watched.

Watched what they watched.

Me, newly dead, but still up to my old tricks as though my early departure hadn’t made the slightest bit of difference. Hadn’t hampered me in any way.

Hadn’t changed a single thing.

If anything, being dead had just made me even worse. Granting me the kind of access I could’ve only dreamed of before.

It was like having a backstage pass to not only my sister’s life, but everyone else’s as well. Spying on old neighbors and friends, former classmates, favorite and not-so-favorite teachers, even a few well-known celebrities—just maximizing my invisibility for all it was worth. And just like before, back when I was alive, I’d spent the bulk of my time spying on my sister, completely unaware that I was being spied on as well.

My entire existence, my birth, my death, and beyond, had been documented and studied, and now I was expected to find a way to explain (if not justify), what clearly amounted to a heckuva lot of wasted time.

But the truth is, I had no idea what to say for myself.

I was the most surprised person in that whole entire room.

And, when we got to the part where I sneaked into the Viewing Room on my way to school—well, I just sank right down there onto the cold, hard stage, not even bothering to manifest a comfortable chair for myself first. Anxiously waiting for this horrible show to finally end, so that they could determine my place.

The whole room went silent as the screen went blank, and I knew it was up to me to make the first move.

“Well, I think the footage speaks for itself, no?” I tried to smile, but it felt all sloppy and wrong. So then I tried to give them my big-eyed, sad look, the one that always worked on my dad—but still, nothing. They just sat there, so silent and still it was clear I’d have to do much better than that.

I wouldn’t be let off so easily.

So I cleared my throat and focused hard on my shoes, saying, “Okay, so maybe I was a bit of a brat.” I shrugged, trying to keep it casual and relaxed. “But the thing is, last time I checked that wasn’t exactly listed as one of the sins, right?” I looked up, desperate for a little confirmation, understanding, something, and I found it in Aurora—the one person I could count on, the one I chose to focus on. “I mean, maybe if you guys had allowed me just a few more years, I could’ve turned it around. Maybe I would’ve even done something great, something truly tremendous and world changing, you know? But now—well, now, we’ll never know just what I was capable of, since, you know, you called me out so early in the game.” I sighed, partly for dramatic effect, and partly because, well, the whole thing was a little exhausting. And when that was also met with more stares and silence I said, “Okay, fine. You want to know the truth? Well, here it is. I feel like I was robbed! Seriously. Dead at twelve? That is so not fair! And why am I the one who’s expected to explain my actions anyway? I was just a kid—I was supposed to be immature! But you guys—well, maybe one of you should explain a few things to me. Maybe I’m the one who deserves some answers Here? Huh? Did anyone ever stop and think of that?” I stopped, panting and agitated, and it’s not like I needed a mirror to know that my face was beet red.

I concentrated on my shoes again, shaking my head as I pledged a strict vow of silence from that point on. Pledging that no matter what happened next, I wouldn’t say another word—wouldn’t try to defend a single thing that I’d done. My life as I knew it was over, and there was no taking it back. No do-overs allowed. Which meant there was really no point to any of this. It was tortuous, and mean, and completely unfair, and no way was I giving them any more ammo to use against me than they already had.

I continued to sit there, firmly committed to maintaining my silence and waiting it out for as long as it took, when Aurora finally looked at me and said, “I know you may not understand it just yet, but in time you will. It’ll all make perfect sense, I promise you that. But for now, just know that everything works out in the way it’s supposed to. There is no punishment, no harsh judgment, and no accidents of any kind. All is as it should be. We’re just trying to understand things from your point of view, to study your life with compassion, not discrimination. All of us realize just how hard it is to find one’s way in the earth plane—there are so many distractions, so many directions in which to turn. We don’t condemn a single one of your acts, Riley, so there’s no reason to be fearful or angry. We’re merely attempting to understand you better, that’s all.”

My gaze met hers, and yes she was kind, and nice, and oh so glowy and angelic, but I needed something more. I refused to be brushed off so easily.

“And so, it’s my destiny to be dead?” I said, immediately breaking my vow of silence and wondering if my tendency toward mouthiness, as my mom calls it, would get me in as much trouble Here as it did there.

But Aurora just smiled as the rest of the group took a moment to chuckle among themselves, which, truth be told, did not make me feel even the slightest bit better since it’s not like I was trying to be funny.

“It’ll all make sense in due time,” Claude with the long, scraggly beard piped in, propping his bare feet on the seat just before him as he added, “but for now, do you have anything to say on your behalf? Any comments about what you just saw up on the screen?”

My shoulders drooped. All of me drooped. I was done with words and out of excuses. I just wanted it to end. To learn my place, and move on.

They gazed at each other, communicating in a way that was completely blocked from me, finally coming to some sort of mutual agreement when they nodded toward Celia, who turned to me and said, “Based on your accumulated history and your strong attachment to the earth plane, you will train as a Catcher. Any questions?”

Train as a—what? A question that was soon followed by a gazillion others just like it.

“A Soul Catcher,” Samson said, pushing his long silver hair off his face and settling his violet eyes right on mine. Adding, “A catcher of souls.” As if that made any more sense.

And I was just about to ask the obvious, when Aurora cut in with her soft, soothing voice that made every word sound like the most perfectly chosen lyric to a beautiful song, and said, “Riley, your situation is not as unique as you think. There are plenty of souls who resist the call to come Here. Many of whom are still wandering the earth plane, unwilling to cross the bridge and move on. Some resist for centuries, ignoring any and all attempts to lure them Here, while some only linger for a short time. And while each individual soul is granted free will, every now and then we find they require a little extra . . . push, if you will. A little reminder that they have choices, better choices, than those that they’ve chosen. And that’s where you come in.”

My eyes darted between them, and even though I was brimming with questions, lots and lots of questions, it’s like I had so many I had no idea where to begin. All I knew for sure is that I was going back.

Back to the earth plane.

The glorious earth plane!

And as far as I was concerned, I couldn’t leave soon enough.

“We’ve no doubt that carefully guided and given the proper training, you’ll be a very successful Soul Catcher for us,” Royce said, granting me a smile that was made for spotlights, movie screens, and magazine covers as the others nodded their agreement.

“So, when do I leave?” I jumped to my feet, suddenly brimming with an abundance of energy that was lacking just a few moments earlier. “When do I get my old life back?” I asked, picturing myself moving right back into the old neighborhood and enrolling in my old school, not quite sure how all the logistics would work. You know, how they would go about fixing the fact of my being dead one day, and, well, pretty much undead the next. Then dismissing it just as quickly, figuring that to be their problem, not mine.

Me, I was fulfilling a mission.

A very exciting mission.

But my excitement barely had a chance to take hold when Aurora looked at me, her brown/red/black/silver/blond hair swirling around her in a whirl of waves and rivulets as she said, “You will return in spirit form only. Invisible to all but your fellow spirits, and the gifted few who are able to sense us.”

My eyelids grew heavy, my shoulders sank, and I sighed. Deflated, disappointed, disillusioned—not one of those words even begins to describe how I felt. And yet, I was still going back. There was no changing that. If the Council saw fit to send me packing, well, who was I to fight it, no matter what form I’d be in?

And from what I’d seen so far of this school, with the assembly and the singing and the glowing, and all the other accumulated weirdness, well, I figured I wouldn’t really miss it.

“When do I leave?” I asked, instantly ashamed when I realized I hadn’t given a second thought to what I would tell my parents and grandparents until the words were already out.

“No reason to delay,” Celia said, checking with the others who nodded their agreement.

“The sooner the better,” Samson chimed in.

“Now would be good,” agreed Royce.

And even though I was excited, I still had to ask, “But, what about my family? What’ll I tell them?”

Turning as Claude motioned toward the screen that was now split down the middle—one side showing my dad enjoying some kind of jam session with a bunch of other musicians, while the other side showed my mom painting in some brightly lit studio, her smock splattered with virtually every color in the rainbow as a smile lit up her face. And even though I had no idea what it meant, my insides started to do that weird clenching/curling thing again.

I pressed my lips together, trying to make sense of what I was seeing. Wondering why they weren’t where they said they would be, why they’d choose to lie and play hooky from what they’d told me. But then, before I could blink, the screen split again, and I saw each set of grandparents engaged in some pretty surprising activities of their own, especially once their age was factored in. Enjoying stuff like: surfing, and hiking, and ranching, and symphony composing, as well as overseeing a nursery full of brand-spanking newborns.

“They’ve already been placed,” Aurora said. “They’re enjoying their soul work now. There’s no need to worry about them.”

Soul work? I blinked. Things were getting weirder by the second. I mean, initially, I was worried about them worrying about me. But from what I could see, I’d be surprised if they even noticed I was gone.