Rise Against the Faultless (3 page)

Lo and I talked about what we
would wear tonight and what it would be like to be called out in front of
everyone we knew. She planned on wearing a yellow dress with white trim at the
bottom. I would wear my light blue dress that I had only ever tried on, knowing
it would be for this very occasion.  It was the most grown up piece of attire
that I had.  It was also the shortest thing I had ever put on.  It fell to just
above my knees. Tonight would be the first time we would be allowed to wear
makeup.  I had always been curious as to what my face would look like with the
paint on it, I doubt it could do much more for Lo.  She didn’t need any more
help looking fabulous.  I doubt she had ever had a blemish on her skin at all.

After Dale and I scanned in at
home, I immediately went up to my bedroom.  I had just less than two hours before
tonight’s ceremony and I was exhausted from my restless nights.  I tried lying
on the bed to go to sleep, but sleep wouldn’t come, so I lay there on my bed,
staring up at the white ceiling.  I wonder what the red headed girl would have
been chosen for at tonight’s ceremony.  Obviously, combat had not turned out to
be her forte. What decisions had she made to wind up in her predicament? 

The more I thought of what
happened in the woods that day, the more one surprising emotion kept creeping
its way into my psyche.  Anger.  The anger overwhelmed every other sense in me,
more than fear or sadness.  I was angry at the girl for letting herself become
a victim to the wild eyed boy. I was angry at myself for straying into the
woods when I knew I wasn’t supposed to.  I was angry at the crowd for endorsing
such a treacherous act.  I was angry at Mom for not doing anything about it. 
But most of all, I was angry that life just kept on going as usual.  Why were
people still smiling and happy?  Why was anyone worried about what they were
going to wear tonight?  I tried to bury all of these feelings deep down inside
of me.  I had to start concentrating on what I needed to do and right now that
meant getting through tonight without having some sort of break down.

I can remember Ari’s fallen
face after they announced his placement into Science. All Ari had dreamt about
since he found out about the sectors was being placed in Command, although he
didn't admit it.  Ari had befriended a boy from school named Shane Brutus. Shane’s
mother was State Leader Ann Brutus. I had never laid eyes on Shane except for
at Ari’s Advancement Ceremony and even then I couldn’t see him because I was so
far back in the crowd. Shane’s parents never allowed him to come over to our
house, so Ari always went to visit at their house and he idolized Ann Brutus. 
She was everything that Ari wanted to be in his professional career. He would
go on and on about her after visiting with Shane.  When Shane was chosen for
Command, Ari backed away from their friendship.

Ari took every single advanced
course that he thought would direct him to being chosen for Command. 
Unfortunately for him, Ari was chosen for Science.  He had scored exceptionally
high in Science and couldn’t deny that he had a particularly scientific mind,
but that isn’t what ultimately led to his being placed in Science.  Ari’s
psychological evaluations revealed that he was more of a follower and could be
easily influenced.  He vehemently denied it and said that the psychological
evaluations were flawed; of course he didn’t dare utter this to anyone but us,
and only casually one night at supper.

I rolled off of my bed,
unwillingly, and pulled on my light blue dress. It fit a little more snugly
than I remember.  I brushed out my hair and slid into my only pair of white
high heeled shoes.  I heard a light knock on my door and then Mom poked her
head through. Her face still wore the worried expression, but she smiled at me.

“I thought you might like some
help with your make up.” She still hadn’t let herself into the room. I nodded
and she slowly walked in, as if she was afraid to make sudden movements that
might scare me away like a small wild animal. She came in with her small wooden
case with gold filigree decorations. It was one of the few feminine things that
my mother owned.  My father had gotten it as a gift for her shortly after Dale
was born. It must have cost him his entire year’s worth of gift allotment. They
had been married for twenty years and you could see on my father’s face how enamored
he was with her, even after all these years.  I could see how, she was still
beautiful and looked much younger than her thirty nine years. 

We had been mistaken for
sisters on more than one occasion.  She had wavy dark brown hair like me except
she wore hers in a straight, trendy shoulder length style. Her skin was tan and
virtually free of wrinkles. Ari’s friends had always teased him about liking
his mother, that didn’t go over well with Ari at all. The only thing that would
betray her age is the confidence that she exuded.  The kind of confidence that
comes only with years of experience and wise choices. However, lately, she
looked more tired.

She silently made her way in,
sat on the bed, and opened up her small case.  She patted the bed next to her
to get me to come sit down next to her.  She carefully started applying the
makeup to my eyes, cheeks and lips.  She dotted a concealer over the blemishes
on my chin. 

“I didn’t go through the
Advancement Ceremony like you will, so I’m not exactly sure what you’re going
through, honey. Sometimes in life we face scary situations and uncertain
futures. I can't promise you that there won't be horrible days or terrifying
nights but I can promise that I am always on your side. You're so smart, Rai.
Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

I thought about her words for a
good long while, and decided that she wasn’t just talking about tonight’s
ceremony. I never stopped to think about how she would feel about this; she had
to know that I would most likely be chosen for combat. “Yes, I understand.” I
heard myself say in a small voice, but I still didn’t make eye contact with
her. I still wasn’t ready to completely forgive her.

She started working on my hair
without asking me. She was quite skilled at it and knew that it wasn’t my
strong suit. She gently twisted and pulled on it until she had half of it up
into what looked like a waterfall of straight hair. I felt her pull a few
strands loose to make it look and feel a bit more natural.  She then led me to
the full length mirror hanging on the other side of my room. Even I was
surprised at my appearance in the mirror.

“You look stunning.” I had
never spent much time thinking about how I look until this moment and since Mom
didn’t often dole out compliments I indulged her. “Please keep yourself safe.
You're much stronger than you know. I couldn't be more proud of you." She
kissed my forehead and started to leave.

“Mom, wait... thank you.” It’s
all that I could muster, but I needed to tell her something. I needed to let
her know that our lines of communication were still open, but that I had to
ease back into a relationship with her; I needed time to be able to trust her.
She smiled like she understood and eased the door shut.

I gave myself a few more
minutes alone. I looked in the mirror again, wondering at my new appearance. It
seemed like I had changed, more than just what the makeup and hairstyle had
done for me. I went downstairs and found Dad and Dale having an argument about
who would win a fight between a snake and a monkey.  Dale was completely behind
the snake, but Dad made a pretty compelling case.  When he noticed me walked in
he said, “Raily! You look beautiful, sweetheart. Doesn’t she look gorgeous,
Dale?” Dad never called me by my nickname.

Dale twisted his face
playfully, “She’s ok, I guess.” I wrapped my arms around him in a big hug and
gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Gross, Rai!’ I laughed at how he tried to squirm
away from my grasp and I just held on tighter.

The assembly hall was almost
packed by the time that we arrived. The high ceilings echoed the excited
conversations of friends and family. The building is quite beautiful. It was
built over twenty years ago because nothing built nowadays would be allowed to
be so decorative or frivolous. It has large stone pillars and curved doorways
and ceilings. Every time there was a formal public event, it was held here
because it was the largest structure in our area that could hold us all.
Everyone that was participating had to sit up in the very front, so I had to
leave my family as soon as we arrived. Lo and Adrian already had a place
waiting for me. Tonight was the first time that we were allowed to have a free
seating arrangement at a school related event, as long as we chose a seat in
the front.

“Rai, you look... amazing.” I
had never seen Adrian look so flustered, or lost for words for that matter. I
could feel the red heat of embarrassment rising up my neck to my face. When I
sat down he kept his eyes trained on me and squeezed my hand once quickly.

Now Lo was the one who looked
nervous. She actually looked like she could be sweating.  Her naturally shy
demeanor did not go well with being called out in front of the entire assembly
to reveal her strengths, weaknesses, and future all in one blow. Adrian was the
complete opposite. It looked like he couldn’t wait to get up there, in fact I
almost think that if he could convince everyone to be quiet and start the
ceremony right now he would, but we all knew that it would start right on time
at 7:00 sharp.   

The school supervisor was a
short, angry looking man with little hair to speak of and if I had to guess I
would say that he wasn’t particularly fond of children, not that I had ever had
any dealings with him. I looked up on the stage where there was a group of
people of different ages, representatives from each sector, no doubt our new
Master Chiefs of the not so distant future. Groups where there would be a large
number of people, such as Combat or Service would have several different Master
Chief’s, but other groups like Science and Command might not have more than one
or two. In fact, in the last fifteen years, there had only been two students
chosen for  Command, one being Ari’s friend Shane two years  ago, the other was
a boy I had never heard much about since he left.

     Mr. Hargrove’s sour
expression did not change when he started to address the crowd.  We were all so
well trained that he did not have to ask for silence, there were no hushed
whispers.  He quickly introduced all of the representatives from the
government’s seven sectors and the crowd politely clapped after each
introduction.  He wasted no more time on pleasantries and announced that he
would begin the ceremony. A few of the students were called with no surprises,
one for Medicine, the rest for Service and Combat. Then it was Lo’s turn.  At
least she would be able to get this over with at the beginning. 

“Lolette Avery, please come to
the stage.” Lo’s face looked as if all the blood had drained from it. I hoped
that she wouldn’t be sick. Lo took slow and careful steps up to the stage as if
that was what was holding her body together. She approached her mark on the
stage where she would face the crowd as her rankings were revealed. I saw the
smile that she was trying to force on her face, but it looked more like the
face you make right before you burst into tears.  Oh please don’t cry, Lo.

A screen flashed behind Lo
revealing her scores, but Mr. Hargrove called them out anyway since half of the
crowd probably couldn’t see them. She had scored surprisingly high in
Education, I had no idea that she had such a gift for it, but her Combat score
was 8 which meant she was a dead ringer for it. “Lolette Avery, your sector
will be Combat.  You have been assigned to Master Chief Oren Hines.” I could
see relief flood Lo’s face as she was released from her public prison and was
able to go shake hands with Oren Hines and leave the stage.  I felt relief,
too. If I was going to be stuck in Combat with Dione, at least I would have Lo
there with me. We could watch each other’s backs.

Just a few more students and it
would be me on that stage.  Being in front of everyone did not frighten me like
it did Lo, especially now that I know there are so many other things in this
world that we should be frightened of like being bludgeoned to death in a
gladiator fashion in front of a heartless crowd.  There was nothing to walking
up on a stage, standing there for a few minutes and then shaking someone's
hand.  I guess Lo saw it differently, though. I wish I could explain it to her
the way that I saw it, so she could rid herself of those senseless nerves.  I
had only pretended to be nervous to explain my erratic behavior lately. That’s
probably why Lo didn’t buy my story in the first place, she knew me too well.

“Raily Stone, please come to
the stage.”  I made my way up to my mark and looked out into the crowd to see
if I could find my parent’s faces.  I found Dale first, he was crossing his
eyes at me, he probably didn’t know if I was nervous or not, but if I had been
that would have been the end of that. Then a funny thing happened, I heard the
crowd draw in a collective breath.  Mr. Hargrove started reciting my scores and
then I understood why; they had seen my scores posted behind me. “Medicine, 8
Service, 3. Technology, 6. Combat, 8. Science, 7. Education, 5. Command...” He
paused, like he wasn’t sure of what his eyes were seeing. “Command, 10. Raily
Stone, you have been chosen for Command. You have been assigned to Master Chief
Ann Brutus.”

Command?
Me
? This
couldn’t be right. Hiding the shock on my face was futile, I couldn’t have if I
had tried. For a moment, the well trained audience forgot themselves and muted
conversations were heard around the entire building.  They looked at me, their
faces mirroring my surprise. The ringing in my ears wouldn’t stop. I turned to
face my new Master Chief.  As I approached her I recognized her from her
broadcasts, though, admittedly, I had never paid much attention.

She flashed a practiced smile
at me that made me wonder if she had ever smiled genuinely before in her life. 
Up close, she looked older than she had from the audience or in her broadcasts.
She had cool gray eyes that had no kindness in them, though her demeanor was
professional. She was wearing a dark gray business suit that only made her eyes
seem more hollow. I decided right then and there that there was something about
her that I did not trust. If there had been a sector for body language and
instincts, I would have scored a 10. I returned her phony smile and headed down
the stairs to my seat. The School Supervisor had continued with the next
student, but it seemed like no one was paying attention to him anymore, all
eyes were fixed on me. No one had ever received a perfect score in Command, a
perfect score in any sector was practically unheard of.

How in the world had I been the
first person?  I had exactly two friends, who would I lead? I slid into my seat
between Adrian and Lo and she mouthed the word “How?” to me. I shrugged my
shoulders, just as bewildered and curious of that answer myself. Oh, if Ari
could see this.  Oh no, Ari! What would Ari think?  Would he shun me as he did
his friend? It was all that Ari ever wanted, and I had never given it a
moment’s thought, but now that I do think about it I’m pretty sure I don’t want
it at all. I was expecting to hear that I was selected for Combat or maybe even
Medicine, but Command? 

I zoned out for the rest of the
ceremony.  I had not prepared for this outcome at all, but I would have to get
used to it because there were no other options.  I used the time to adjust
during the ceremony but told myself that I would get it together by the time it
was over so that when I was questioned I wouldn’t seem like a complete idiot. I
was halfway listening just enough to know how much time I had left to freak
out.

I did tune in enough to know
that Adrian’s placement was indeed Technology. I gave him a smile as he came
back to our seats, beaming with pride.  He lucked up more than Glyn Steed, my
concerns had been validated; her diabetes left her to a fate of being in the
Service sector.  I saw a flash of disappointment on Glyn’s face, but she
quickly composed herself and walked with her head up while making her way back
to her seat.  It was such a waste, Glyn was brilliant. I spotted Glyn’s parents
in the audience a few rows behind where the students’ seating was, her mother
looked heartbroken for her, Glyn’s father had his arm around her mother with a
smile to try to console them both. Dione’s placement was no great shock, he was
in Combat with Lo, and he even had the same Master Chief as her.  He better
hope for his sake that he doesn’t cause her any trouble.

I forced myself to concentrate
on everything that I knew about Command so that when I was asked questions I wouldn’t
sound like I had been completely taken off guard. Command was different than
all the other sectors in a few ways. First of all, it was considered the most
prestigious of the sectors, and being chosen for it was like winning a lottery,
anyone qualified.  No one knew where they stood when it came to Command. With
other sectors, you had a good idea for how you did in them, but Command was a
wild card and also depended heavily on the psychological evaluations and
opinions of the evaluation team.  We were carefully studied from childhood by
the evaluation team for this day, to be placed in a position to best serve our
country.

With sectors like Combat or
Service, you could wind up becoming a construction worker or a chef after your
service is complete, but with Command you are almost guaranteed a spot as a
State Leader, eventually. Being chosen for Command wasn’t just a duty
assignment for the next three years, it was a career path for the rest of your
life. The first year of your service, you spend a good deal of your time
training with the other inductees. You will train by leading other inductees in
simulations chosen by your Master Chief.  Through these simulations and the
determination by your Master Chief, your Command strength will be determined, so
you could wind up being a leader in any sector.

I heard Mr. Hargrove conclude
the ceremony and congratulate all of us on our advancement. We all politely
clapped and I braced myself for the flood of inquiries. Lo’s father was the
first to reach us since he had apparently arrived in a much more timely fashion
than we had and snagged a seat closer than we had. I was grateful that I barely
registered on his radar, the one thing on his mind was that his only daughter
had been chosen for Combat. Lo’s father had to be six foot four, he towered
above the three of us. This was the second time that I had seen Lo’s father in
a state of depression.  Lo’s mother passed away three years ago in a routine
transportation accident. Lo had not been the same since that day, but still
carried herself well. Mr. Avery said nothing, he just embraced Lo for what had
to be at least a minute.

Mr. Avery had the mannerisms of
someone who had been in the military for years. He walked with his shoulders
back and his back straight. Every move he made was made with confidence.  He
had dark skin and deep set brown eyes.  He was a handsome man, but was aged by
the last few years full of worries. His voice broke, but only somewhat, when he
finally spoke, “I feel bad for everyone else in your training sessions, baby
girl.” Lo smiled up at him, a trait he very obviously passed on to her. He
regained his statuesque stance and put an arm around her as he spoke with his
clear, booming voice back in full throttle, “Well, Stone, it looks like you’ve
been holding out on us.”

He had always intimidated me a
little because of his sheer volume, but he was a kind man and very clearly
loved Lo with all of his heart, “Yes, sir. I suppose I have.”

“I could have guessed it.” I
hadn’t seen my little brother make his way up to us, but he was now playfully
nudging me with his shoulder. “Do you think you could do something about the
snack ration?” I laughed at the ridiculous thought that I could have anything
to do with a change in our diet. People joking about the food was not uncommon,
and although frowned upon, was not considered an offense, not a serious one
anyway.

Mom and Dad were just behind
Dale and were scowling at him for his jab at the government’s food
requirements. He smiled sheepishly and started asking Adrian about some sort of
new program in Technology, they both seemed enamored with it and I felt certain
that it would be in Dale’s future. When my Command announcement came, my
parents had two contrasting looks on their faces: my fathers’ of sheer horror,
as if they had sentenced me to a gruesome death, and my mother’s was nothing if
not total elation. In any case, they had both toned down their facial
expressions to mild and congratulatory. “We’re very proud of you, honey.” Dad
said in a pleasant voice, but I could hear the apprehension in his words.

A host of people came up to me
to ask me questions, people who ignored me on a day to day basis, even some of
the school monitors. Everyone wanted to know, “Did you have any idea?”, “Where
do you think you’ll wind up?”, and “What are your political views?” I started
to feel smothered by the sudden and unwanted attention and saw an out. I
excused myself to the restroom and bolted into a hallway behind the stage.  The
tall white walls had large framed pictures of past State and Union Leaders. I
pondered for a moment that one day someone would be looking at my portrait on
the wall.

I saw the restroom but kept
walking down the hall and ducked into a meeting room and closed the door shut
behind me. I closed my eyes and let out a long slow breath while I sank to the
floor. I concentrated on how cool the floor felt and it helped to calm my
anxiety. Surely these people know that I had no idea. That’s when I heard him
for the first time. “You’re going to want to work on that if you’re going to be
a State Leader one day.”

I instinctively jump to my
feet, taken back by the fact that someone else was there. How could I have not
seen him? He was seated in front of a desk in the back of the room with his
feet propped up and a smirk on his face.   He looked to be just a little older
than I was. “Work on what?” He folded his hands over his middle and cocked his
head to one side. 

“That fierce case of social
anxiety you have. I’m surprised that didn’t affect your Command score, then
again, that can be worked on or cured, if you ever let anyone know you had it,
that is.” His voice was smooth and rhythmical.  He spoke in a way that made me
feel like what he was saying wasn’t his opinion, but a fact to be believed
without question. He had short black hair that was just a little bit messy and
a clean shaved face. He might be the most attractive person I had ever seen. He
stood up and started walking slowly towards me. His movements were slow and
graceful, and I couldn’t help thinking there was something dangerous about him,
but I wasn’t afraid.

“I just needed a break. I am
fine and I need no cure for anything.” I cocked an eyebrow at him defiantly.
Who does he think he is? He’s trying to size me up in the entire thirty seconds
that we’ve known one another.

“Ah! There it is, stubbornness
and defiance. That’s what they liked. You know, willfulness can be quite
unbecoming to some. But not me.”  He was standing directly in front of me now.
I was still standing with my back against the door and he was probably only
about six inches away from me, but I was not going to budge.

“I don’t know what gave you the
idea that I care about what
you
think is becoming,” I said coolly. He
was really starting to piss me off, but I wasn’t going to give him the
satisfaction of letting him see me get mad, so I smiled up at him. I could see
now that he had bright blue eyes and pale skin. I could tell that he was
enjoying our little confrontation and I felt something inside of me, like a
little jolt of electricity.

“I’ll just add self-control to
that list. I should be getting back, but I have a feeling that you’ll start to
care about my opinion before long.” He reached his hand past my left arm and
grabbed me by the side and gently moved me over a few feet. He tipped his head
just a little with a sly smile and let himself out of the door. Casual touching
like that is generally forbidden between the sexes before you are an adult, but
I guess all bets are off now. Beyond being infuriated with him for making
assumptions about me, invading my personal space, and accusing me of having a
social anxiety disorder, I felt something else, that tingle of electricity, but
I pushed that aside.