Rise Against the Faultless (6 page)

The next day when I woke up my
eye was completely swollen shut. I looked terrible. Luckily, Cyril showed up
with concealer before I had to leave to help me look a little better. It didn’t
matter though, because by mid-morning I had sweated all the makeup off my face.
Cyril was proving to be quite helpful, actually. She didn’t hover behind me
like a shadow, but was attentive and caring. She brought me ice packs in
between sparring and made sure I was well hydrated. She didn’t make a big deal
of it, though, so I didn’t catch any flack for it. It felt so weird having
someone look after me like this, but I couldn’t deny that it was nice. Besides,
today I needed all the help I could get. My late night visit from Oren and only
topped off the soreness from the previous day.

During a round with a
particularly fit man-boy, I employed some of the defense techniques that I had
learned from the Training Manual. I could see Shane smirking out of the corner
of my eye. I wouldn’t admit that he had been the one to help me, though. Shane
also didn’t hover. He would give me quick tips between fights, “Look for his
weak spot” or, “Keep those hands up.” Sometimes he would disappear, but not for
long. Every now and then he would be the one to bring me my water. He would
sometimes chat Cyril up, which I’m sure she loved. It seemed as if he didn’t
treat her with the same misogynistic attitude he did with me.

When we were dismissed for
lunch, I got my first close look at Oren. I started to avert my eyes, but I
noticed something on his face. His right eye looked worse than mine. He also
had a gash below it. Had he been sparring as well? Thankfully he didn’t notice
me gawking at his wound and I escaped without incident.  Lunch was a welcome
reprieve. Every body part that I didn’t know I had was aching and all I really
wanted to do was go back to my dorm and fall asleep. Adrian was very sweet and
lightly massaged my shoulders after he ate. Lo rolled her eyes at us, but then
gave us a big smile. Jubal was still following her around like a puppy. “Lo, I
would be happy to give you a massage if you would like.” He gave her an
innocent grin.

“Thanks, but I’m okay for now,
Jubal. Rai is having a worse time of it.” She grabbed my hand sympathetically.

“Rain check then. No problem.
I’m here when you need me.” He winked at her and grabbed her hand as she had
mine. Lo shook her head and announced that it was time to get back to training.

When I got back, I was welcomed
with a not-so-pleasant surprise. I was paired up with Dione for our next fight.
Wonderful. It was the first I had seen of him since arriving at the Compound. I
knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid him, but he was the last person I wanted to be
sparring right now. When he spotted me his look was one of sheer pleasure.
“Well, well, well, Raily Stone. I was hoping we would run into one another. You
still look pretty, even with that shiner.” I didn’t even acknowledge him. He
couldn’t bother me. I was better than he was, I could beat him. Although, I had
to admit that he looked as if he had fared much better than I so far. He didn’t
have a sadistic Master Chief out to get him either. He would have a bit of an
edge because of it, but I still think I could take him.

We squared up and I immediately
took the offensive. I grazed his chin with my right fist, which he shook off. I
was hyper aware of my left side since I couldn’t see out of that eye. I overcompensated
by turning my body. Shane had reminded me of this all morning.  Dione threw a
couple of punches that I dodged. I started getting more confidence. I turned to
kick him in his thigh with my left foot and before I knew it, he maneuvered to
my left and had me in a choke hold with his right arm around my neck. He
whispered in my ear, just barely loud enough for me to hear, “This is the part
where your little brother would start tearing up. He’s such a little girl.
You’re much more fun to throw around, though.” He rubbed his left hand across
my stomach.

I grabbed his arm with both
hands and pushed up to duck out of his hold. After I did, I threw my left elbow
into his chin. It didn’t hurt him too bad, but it did phase him enough to let
me get out. “Little Brother wouldn’t have gotten out of that one so fast. He
would have already wet his pants by now.” I stopped thinking and ran at him.
Mistake. My wild, erratic movements were quickly countered by Dione throwing me
to the ground in an unnecessarily rough fashion. It knocked the wind out of me
and involuntary tears sprang into my eyes. No, no, no. He can’t think that I
would cry over him. I rolled over quickly and wiped the wetness away, but I
couldn’t immediately get up, which is when I felt the sharp pain of Dione
kicking my side. That’s when Shane stepped in. He pushed Dione away from me and
told him to partner up with someone else.

Shane helped me to my feet,
with Cyril on my other side.  She looked genuinely worried for me. She must
have heard what Dione said. Shane lifted up my shirt. “Wait, no!” I protested.

“I’m just checking where he
kicked you. It’s okay.” The tone of his voice was smooth and calming. It made
me think for a second that he might be trustworthy. I let him look at my ribs.
He ran his hand over the place where Dione’s foot had landed not a minute ago
and gently pushed.

“Ah.” I drew in a deep breath
and tried to stifle the audible reaction, but couldn’t.

“Well, it’s not going to look
very nice, but I don’t think any of your ribs are broken.” He ran his hand over
it again, and then grinned up at me.

“Ok, doc. That’s enough.” He
and Cyril insisted that I sit down for a few minutes before my next round, and
I didn’t fight them on it long. Cyril brought me my water and sat down on the
ground next to me. Shane went off for one of his daily hiatuses.

“What a jackass.” She said
after Shane was out of earshot.

“Shane?” I looked at her, “He’s
probably just messing with me.”

“No, not Shane. Shane’s
amazing. That guy you were fighting.  If he had said something like that about
my sister, I probably would have been seeing red, too.”

I wasn’t surprised to learn
that Cyril thought Shane was amazing. She liked the way Shane looked. “Yeah, he
was always giving me and my brother trouble at my school. So, you have a
sister?”

Cyril looked away. She wiped
her face, “I
had
a sister. She passed a few years ago.”

“Cyril, I’m so sorry, I had no
idea.” I stopped talking because I had learned after Lo’s mother died that
sometimes there’s just not much that you can say.

“It’s ok. I mean, I just miss
her, you know. I didn’t get to say goodbye. We didn’t even get to bury her
body.” Cyril stopped talking, too. It was obviously too painful for her to talk
about, and I wasn’t about to pry. Shane returned right then anyway, with the
skinniest girl that I had ever seen. I assumed it was my sparring partner for
the rest of the day. I quickly learned that skinny didn’t equal weak, but
anyone was better than Dione at this point. I was still really shaken up by my
encounter with him and couldn’t get over my anger at Dione.

After the training day was
over, I headed to the Command training room to meet with Shane. Unfortunately,
he wasn’t the only Brutus waiting on me. He and Ann were both in the room. I
sat down and waited for her to speak. She, as always, took her time. “I heard
that you had a bit of skirmish today after lunch. Angry reactions are not what
a leader is made of, Raily. You should learn to keep your composure.” I looked
at Shane briefly. I guess he ratted me out to his mom. He simply returned my
blank stare. She went on to lecture me about how keeping my composure in front
of others is of the utmost importance. I spaced out a couple of times and
thought about just nodding off. Maybe then she would kick me out of Command and
this would all be over. I could just work alongside the Grime. No, I won’t let
her win.

She finally dismissed me for
the day. I went straight to my dorm and took my shower. I temporarily forgot
about my bruised side as I was toweling off and got a painful reminder. I could
feel the heat radiating off of it, and it had turned a plum purple color. For
some reason, I briefly thought of Shane’s hand running across that bruise, and
then I quickly shook the thought out of my head. He’s a traitor. I can’t
believe he ran off and told his mother how I had reacted to Dione. Maybe he
didn’t hear what Dione said, or maybe he did and he just didn’t care. Who cares
what he thinks anyway?

I quickly threw on some clothes
to go meet up with Lo and Adrian in the dining hall. When Adrian suggested that
we all go to the lounge after dinner, I wasn’t so sure that I was in the mood
for socializing.

“Come on, Rai. You barely
touched your mystery meat. You could eat some more of that delicious bread.” Lo
made a gagging face at my plate, which was mostly still intact.

“Yeah, and an adult beverage
may be just the thing to take the edge off of today.” I guess Jubal might have
heard about my run-in with Dione. He did have a good point, though.

“Sure. Why not? Let’s go.”
Besides, what was I going to do in my dorm alone besides sit and stew about the
day’s events? Lo wanted to go change clothes and freshen up before we left for
the lounge, so I went back with her to get ready. She very carefully applied
makeup to my face. Surprisingly, I could open my eye more now than I could this
morning, and my reflection wasn’t quite as scary after she got done. She was very
handy with the makeup, which made me think that maybe she had practiced with it
before.  

The alcohol did not taste good,
but after a few sips I felt my face start to warm up and I had a funny feeling
in my legs. I wasn’t sure that it was all that it was cracked up to be, but I
decided to finish my drink along with two pieces of bread. The lights were dim
in the lounge, and they were playing loud music. It was a nice distraction from
the day and I started to loosen up a little bit towards the end of my drink.
Jubal was making jokes and very directly hitting on Lo, which was always
entertaining. I was just starting to enjoy myself when I saw Shane walk in the
side door. I did not want to see him or talk to him right now. We locked eyes
for a split second before I realized he started to make his way over to our
group. 

I quickly jumped up and gave
Adrian a kiss on the lips. I smiled at him and told him that I was tired and
was going back to my dorm. Lo looked at me wide-eyed as I walked out of the
door. I rode the shuttle back to my dorm and threw myself on the bed. I
considered opening up my Training Manual again, but after a few minutes I had
nodded off to sleep. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when I heard a
knock on my door. I guess Adrian didn’t feel like staying at the lounge anymore
either, I smiled at the thought of our kiss.

I opened the door and couldn’t
get it shut back fast enough before Shane threw his arm in to block it. “Sorry,
we’re closed!” I said in a plainly annoyed voice. He pushed his way in, anyway.
“Don’t you ever wait to be invited in? Didn’t your mother teach you any
manners?”

“I get it, you’re mad.” He came
in and plopped down on my bed, so I took the chair by my desk.

“Yes, please, sit down. Would
you like any refreshments?” I gave him a sarcastic smile. “To be mad, I would
have had to be shocked by your behavior, and I wasn’t.”

“Well, now you’re lying,
because I can definitely hear some annoyance in your voice. “

“Maybe that’s because you
barged into my room without asking and woke me up.” Why am I even entertaining
this?

He stretched out on the bed and
patted the spot beside him. “You’re welcome to come back to bed.” I rolled my
eyes at him.

“What do you want, it’s...” I
checked my PID for the time, “it’s midnight and we both have to be up in a few
hours.”

“I don’t need much sleep. It’s
a rare thing, but some people are just built like this. I didn’t tell my mother
about your fight with Dione.”

“Well, Oren was nowhere to be
seen, so I’m not sure who else would have spilled.” I crossed my arms and stood
up now, hoping that he would take the hint and leave.

“It could have been any number
of people, Raily. Look, if you and I are going to work together we need to
trust each other. If I had told her, I would admit it.” He did look like he was
telling the truth, but I wasn’t exactly ready to cave in to him. He was just so
smug. “I heard what Dione said, I can’t blame you for how you reacted.”

I finally nodded at him to
acknowledge that what he was saying was, in fact, true. I walked over to the
door. “Ok, well, good night.” He stood up and walked beside the door and shut
it back.

“That’s not all that I came
for.” He moved a little too close to me with a slight smile. I looked at him
quizzically. “We need to work on that temper. You are pretty good about keeping
your cool, but when Dione made it personal, you lost it. He won’t be the last
bully you run into, you know. In your position people are going to come after
you. They’ll use anything they can to get to you.  You quickly let Dione know
your weakness today. You have to hide it better than that.” Ok, so now he’s
lecturing me on my temper. “There are better ways to get back at someone. Come
on, we’re going to do some exercises.”

“Right now? Isn’t it a little late?”

“Come on, Raily. This isn’t
stuff they’re going to go over in Combat training, and
you
need it now.
Don’t worry, I will definitely avoid that face.” He reached up and touched my
cheek, I backed away, but conceded. 

“Alright, come at me.” I looked
at him as if he were joking. “I mean it. Come at me. Give me all you got.”
Fine, if he wants to fight in the dorm room, that’s what we’ll do. He stood
with both hands hanging by his side. I put my hands up and got a little closer
to him. I tried to jab at his chest, which he gracefully dodged. The second
jab, he quickly grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back and held me there
for a second. “Again.” I rubbed my arm and went after him again. He pushed me
out of the way on the side that wasn’t sorely bruised.  “Come on, hothead, I’m
not even trying. Again.” I was starting to get aggravated now. He was exerting
so little effort, and I was really trying. This time, he let me hit him, but it
barely affected him at all. He grabbed me in a bear hug so tight that I
couldn’t move. We were face to face now. “You starting to get mad yet?”

“Yes!” I snarled at him with
what breath I could muster. I could feel the pain in my side very acutely now
and could barely draw in any breath because of the death grip he had on me.

“Good. Again.” He released me,
but this time I wasted no time and plowed into him with my right shoulder,
pushing him up against the door. He was only off balance for a second, though.
He grabbed both of my wrists and quickly reversed our positions and threw me
back up against the door. He stood there for a second, pinning me against the
door. I felt helpless and angry and sad and lost. I could feel the tears
threatening their way up to my eyes. How had I gotten into this position? Why
had I made so many people mad? He was just a few inches from my face. We were
both out of breath now and breathing heavily. He slowly loosened his grip on my
wrists and moved his hands down my arms. The electricity that I had felt the
first night that we met returned. I had so many emotions running through my
mind, I wasn’t sure which to glom onto now. He leaned in closer to me and
before I knew it he had brought his lips down to mine.  There was no thinking
involved, I only wanted to follow that feeling of electricity. There was
something that drew me to him that I couldn’t explain and didn’t care to at the
moment.

Then it hit me: Adrian. What
was I doing? I pulled away from Shane and turned from him. “I’m sorry, I
can’t,” was all I could muster.

“I didn’t mean for that to
happen.” He started for the door. “But I’m not sorry. Goodnight, Raily.” Right.
As if I could sleep now. I tossed and turned until it was time to get up again.
I tried to think of how I would handle this. What I would say to Adrian. What
could I say? No, I can’t say anything. He wouldn’t forgive me for this.
Besides, it wasn’t planned anyway, and with Shane, of all people. What is wrong
with me? It looks like Shane had a point, I definitely need a few lessons in
self-control.

“Good morning, Raily,” he greeted
me with a cocky grin and a countenance too chipper for this early. “I slept
wonderfully, how about you?” I wondered if he would wipe that grin off of his
face all day. Cyril looked at us both with suspicion.

“What’s going on with you two?”
She asked us. She was becoming more comfortable with both of us.

“Nothing, he’s obviously losing
his mind.” I told her while giving Shane a scolding look. I never thought I’d
be so relieved to see Ann walk in. Throughout the day I made a point to only
engage in professional conversation with Shane, and otherwise avoid him
altogether. I didn’t have Cyril fooled, though, and I knew she would ask as
soon as she got an opening. After our first round that morning, Shane had
disappeared for a while and Cyril took her chance.

“So, what’s the real deal with
you too? Did he make his move?”

“I don’t know what you’re
talking about.” I tried to change the topic of conversation, “Have you seen
that cute guy that works in the lounge?”

“Of course I’ve seen that cute
guy, I only flirt with him every chance I get and I think you know very well
what I’m talking about. It’s obvious how he feels about you, Rai. Now spill.”

“Look, I didn’t mean for
anything to happen, but last night, he kissed me. I stopped it, though, and you
can’t tell anyone. It’s
not
going to happen again.”

“I knew it!  Oh, here he
comes.”

“So anyway, as I was saying,
just us girls can hang out tonight. Meet me at the lounge after dinner?” I
looked at her hoping she would follow.

“Oh yeah, right. Girl’s night.
I’m there.” She stood up and helped me to my feet. She mumbled under her
breath, “You better get ready because we really will be having one.” She smiled
coyly and I knew she wouldn’t tell. I trusted her.

Seeing Adrian at lunch made me
feel wrong and guilty, but I couldn’t breathe a word. I decided it would be
best not to anyway. It would only hurt his feelings for something that didn’t
matter. I could forget the electricity, and whatever made me feel however I
felt with Shane. I did plan to go without any boys tonight, though. Cyril, Lo,
and I hung out alone at the lounge, eating our fill of the bread and dips.
Cyril did more than just flirt with the cute boy from the lounge, she left with
him. I was starting to notice that some were becoming much more in tune with
the fact that there were no physical boundaries between the sexes any more than
others.  No one showed up at my door that night and it came as a huge relief,
and if I were to admit it, a bit of a disappointment.  I had another night full
of terrible dreams, I was back in the woods at home. I heard the screams of the
girl in the woods, but this time I couldn’t see her face. There was a
disconnect there that I couldn’t figure out.