Rising (29 page)

“Again?” But I know. “Kyle and Jane.”

Gem nods. The coldness lifts away, but
it was enough. Gem will fight to protect his family just as I will fight to
protect mine. I understand and respect that.

As if he’d been waiting all this time
for his cue, Gabe opens the window to our room and tells me I can return.

“Coming,” I call down, and it’s all I can
do to make this one word sound normal. My shoulders and hair are powdered with
snow, but it feels like the cold has leeched right through my clothes and skin
to wrap my bones in ice. I turn back to Gem, and he doesn’t need to see the
turmoil on my face. I’m sure my thoughts are battering him.

“It wasn’t meant to scare you,” he says.
“I just want you to be prepared.”

The words tumble out of my mouth
abruptly. “What happened to Tammy, the night Tarren got cut?”

“That’s not my secret to give,” Gem
replies.

I probe against our connection, hoping
to feel something, see a hint of the truth in his thoughts, but I catch only
more wisps of guilt.

“Do you know who Danielle is?” I ask.

“Maya,” Gabe calls again from the
window. “You lick a pole and get stuck?”

“Go,” Gem says. I take one more moment
to memorize him, this entirely new, entirely different half-brother of mine standing
before me in his ill-fitted clothing. I commit his messy golden hair to memory,
and those eyes which are the same and so different from our father’s.

“Thank you,” I say to Gem, “for
everything.” I wish I could at least smile for him, but his words still rattle
inside of me, shaking everything up.

Our paths will cross again.
His words follow me as I swing through
the open window the motel room. I have no doubt of their truth, but will we be
friends or enemies when that day comes?

***

I kick the snow off my boots on the
window and slide it closed. Tarren sleeps soundly on the bed, and a clean new
sheet covers his shoulders. His aura lies flat and gray around him. Not a
single tendril of red. The medical kit is on the floor, disgorged of vials,
syringes, and bandages that I will need to clean up later.

Gabe sits at the table, staring at his laptop.
Sir Hopsalot lounges on his lap.

“Can you watch Tarren?” he says without
looking up. “I gave him some different stuff, and I wasn’t sure about the
dosage. He was just…in a lot of pain. Fuck. Just make sure he doesn’t flat line
or anything.”

Gabe claws his fingers through his
bristled hair. The glow of the computer screen washes out the last bit of color
in his face. His aura is so vaporous, it surprises me that he’s still
conscious.

You did this to him,
I think.
And now he knows it.

“He’s not in any pain,” I say to Gabe

“You can tell?” Gabe finally shifts his
gaze to me.

“I can tell.”

“Okay.”

“You need to rest.” I desperately want
to ask when he’s eaten last, but I stop myself.

Gabe chuckles dryly. “I know, I will.”
He looks up at me then back down to his computer.

“We’re good,” he says, “by the way.”

I stop in the midst of brushing snow off
my arms and stare at him. I think maybe my brain is all filled up with shocks
for the day, so this last one just bounces off my forehead and falls onto the
ratty carpet.

When I don’t say anything, Gabe looks
over at me. “I kinda expected a little more reaction.”

“I don’t…don’t understand.”

“Tarren and I talked it over. I get why
you did it.”

“Tarren? He was hardly coherent.”

“Exactly. He can be quite the conversationalist
when he’s riding the high flying express.” Gabe cracks a shaky grin.

I’m suddenly wary. “What did he tell
you?”

The grin goes away. “Enough.” Gabe
shrugs. “We’re good.”

“Okay,” I say numbly. I’m sinking down,
or maybe the carpet is rising up.

“Hey, what’s this? What’s happening?” I
hear Gabe’s voice above me.

“I just need…to… think, I think,” I say
from the floor. I mean for this to be a silent introspection, but my mouth
opens and words just rush out on their own accord. “I thought you would hate me
forever. I thought you’d be scared of me. I thought….I thought I’d lose you all
over again.” The tears come.

Finally come.

They stream down my cheeks, hot. Soon, snot
bubbles follow along with choking sobs that compress my sternum. I feel the
touch of carpet against my cheek, smell the memories of the last hundred shoes
that have tread these fibers.

Then Gabe is next to me, sitting
cross-legged with Sir Hopsalot in his arms. He lets me go on for a while. And
that’s what I do. Go on. And on. Douse the carpet with tears.

 “You saved Tarren,” he says.

“And…and almost killed you,” I hiccup
back.

“But you didn’t. So we’re good.”

“It can’t be that easy,” I say suddenly,
desperately.

“Well, sorry to disappoint. It is. Now
close your eyes and hold still. We’re going to have a moment.”

“Uh?”

“You ready?” Warmth and playfulness have
returned from their banishment. Can it really be that simple? Is this actually
happening?

I close my eyes and clench my muscles.
“Ready,” I say.

Gabe leans over. I feel his aura coming
close and hold myself rigid with control. His lips brush my forehead, chapped
and dry, and I try more than anything not to remember how sweet his aura
tasted, how it filled me with power.

“We’re good, Maya” Gabe says, pulling
back. “We’ll always be good.”

I open my eyes, and I see a hint of
sapphire blue in his aura.
Blue as Blue, True as True.
It’s only there
for a moment before the mottled browns and wasted grays sweep it away. But I
see it. I see Gabe coming back.

“I’ma sleep now,” Gabe mumbles. “Wake me
up sometime next year.” He lets Sir Hopsalot off his lap and makes a
half-hearted effort to stand. “Okay, that’s not happening,” he says to himself
and crawls to the cot. He pulls himself onto it with some effort.

“Gabe,” I whisper from the floor.

“It you tell me to drink a protein
shake, I’m going to…God, I can’t even think of a decent threat. I’ll sell you
to the Gabettes.”

“Just…don’t ever stop being you.”

Gabe is quiet for a while. I think he
may have fallen asleep. Then he raises his head from the pillow and gives me a
wicked grin. “
If you spell
Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
”
Then he lays his head down, closes his
eyes, and loses consciousness faster than I would have imagined possible.

Three days later Tarren insists that we
go home. Actually, he insists we go to Lo’s lab in Las Vegas where he mumbles
about important ‘things’ he’s working on. Even hopped up on enough morphine to
make an elephant dance ballet, Tarren still won’t tell us what these ‘things’
are.

It’s only this last day that we’ve
brought him back to consciousness, though tempered with heavy chemicals to help
with the pain.

It surprises me that Gabe suggests meeting
with The Totem before we go. Apparently they’re still in town or willing to
come back. During our long down time, Gabe and I talked over the situation and both
agreed that we need to help guide them where we can. I know what Tarren would
say – that they’re sloppy and a danger to themselves and anyone around them. Of
course, he said the same things about me when I first joined Team Fox, so I’m
more than a little sympathetic. And Rain. He’s as vulnerable as a newborn fawn
still trying to find its legs. I can’t let him wander in the wilderness alone.

It takes a while to pack everyone in the
car. Nurse Maya is on duty, making sure Tarren is propped up in the backseat
with two pillows against his lower back so his shoulder won’t touch. Gabe goes
into the front seat with Sir Hopsalot, and I round on him until he drinks two
protein shakes in front of me and takes all his vitamins. He’s more good natured
about my nagging now, but despite his words, I’m not sure things are entirely
settled. I feel a new distance between us, and the memories from that night in
the warehouse still echo in my mind each time I cast my eyes on his wasted
frame.

Fate shows her cruel sense of humor on
this day. Raven’s family is also packing up to leave. I pass her mother and
father in the parking lot a few times, and bob my head in an awkward acknowledgement.
Abe sits on the stairs, bouncing Batman and Wolverine action figures together.
I walk around him and set out to do a full clean of the motel room.

I’ve watched my brothers do this routine
dozens of times, but now it’s my turn to bleach every surface in the bathroom
and the trashcan where we threw so many pus-soaked towels and bandages. I wipe
down every surface and pack up the trash and the sheets so we can dispose of
them later. The cleaning frenzy concludes with a quickly penned note to the
creepy guy in management to charge us for the sheets and towels. I stand in the
doorway of the room. Despite the rattling heater, the dingy stripped wallpaper,
and even the lingering fumes of old cigarettes, this feels like a special
place.

When I leave the room with my bucket of
cleaning supplies and trash bags full of bloody sheets and bandages, Gabe is
sitting on the bottom step with Abe. As has become custom over the last few
days, each holds an action figure. Today, however, no great battles wage for
the fate of humanity. Tears trickle down Abe’s cheeks.

“It’s not because she didn’t love you,”
Gabe says, his fingers tight around the Wolverine action figure.

“Then why did she…she…she run away?” Abe
sniffles. His dark eyes and full lips are almost identical to Raven’s.

“Know what I think?” Gabe plants his
elbows on his knees and leans forward. “I think she became a superhero.”

“Not-uh!”

Gabe raises both hands in submission.
“Happens all the time to unsuspecting normal people. Look at Spiderman – just your
average dweeb minding his own business, and then a radioactive spider thinks
his hand looks tasty. Bam! One spider bite and he’s swinging from buildings and
finally has a chance with Mary Jane. Yeah,” he nods, “I’m pretty sure that’s
what we’re dealing with here.”

Abe stares at Gabe, his eyes wide with
wonderment.

“Makes a lot of sense, actually” Gabe
continues. “She probably got super powers somehow and had to run away in order
to protect you and her parents. I bet she wanted to say goodbye, but it was too
dangerous. You know, in case bad guys were watching.”

Abe’s mouth hangs open, and he’s
gripping Batman so hard that the poor guy probably has some bruised ribs.

Gabe continues, “Fact is, she’d probably
give anything to hit rewind and go back to her normal life, but she can’t.
She’s got responsibilities now, a world to save.”

Gabe looks over his shoulder. Our eyes
meet. My lip is trembling, and I bite down on it.

“S’cuse me,” I manage and slip by them.
“We’ve got to go soon,” I say to Gabe.

“NO!” Abe hollers. He grabs Gabe’s coat
with both hands. “NO!”

“It’ll be a minute,” Gabe says.

I walk to the jeep. The day is cold but
sunny. The crisp white blanket of snow is now pitted, misshapen, and tinted
with shades of brown and black from car exhaust. Raven’s parents rearrange
boxes in a moving trailer hooked to an SUV.

Where are you Raven?
I look across the parking lot as if she
will magically be standing at the edge. We haven’t found a trace of her in
Peoria. No police sightings, no bodies, no nothing. The lack of a trail
suggests that she might have joined back up with War and Heather. As terrible
as their company is, at least then she wouldn’t be alone.

***

We meet The Totem in the far end of a
parking lot at a community college. On a Saturday, only a few cars sit in the
spaces. Two students walk languidly toward the campus with backpacks slung over
their shoulders.

Rain and Milo lean against Bear’s truck,
their heads bowed together in conversation. My eyes take in Rain’s aura,
immediately searching through those shifting colors for…for…I don’t really
know. When I pull into a spot and turn off the engine, Bear Mask gets out from
the driver’s seat of the truck. The small girl with the brown moon face slides
from the back of the truck. Her aura is a stiff, dark cloud around her body. No
Hello Kitty sweatshirt this time.

Gabe hops out of the passenger seat and exchanges
handshakes and fist bumps with the other guys. He surprises the girl by pulling
her into his arms and whispering something into her ear. I watch her dark head
nod and tears populate the corners of her eyes.

I’m pretty sure Gabe popped one of Tarren’s
Vicodin after his chat with Abe. His mellow aura seeps woozy greens, but I
can’t fault him since he’s the one who managed to procure an impressive supply
of painkillers after hitting the streets again yesterday.

I get out of the jeep and give Rain a
little wave. This is really dumb, because we’re only standing fifteen feet from
each other. His aura blooms with color, and I quickly look away, just in case.
I don’t want to see…don’t think I could handle any deep purple hues.

Milo plunges his hands deep into his
pockets, and a dark cloud hovers over his face. He won’t look at me, and I
guess he’s pissed with how we left things. The chain hangs heavy around his
hips. I’m tempted to suggest he avoid jumping into any deep lakes with that
thing on.

Bear Mask clears his throat. Gabe has
informed me that his real name is Doug. “We thought it would be instructive to
meet and to offer our thanks for your assistance,” Doug says.

 “You helped save my life,” I say. “I
should be thanking you.”

Doug nods. “I know we didn’t start off
on the best footing, but the truth is we’re fighting the same war. Our goals
are the same, and we think it makes sense to keep the lines of communication
open, to share information when possible.”

“We have to be careful,” Tarren says behind
me. He was instructed to stay in the car, but here he stands, or sways, if I’m
being accurate. “We know you mean well, but we put ourselves at risk even
agreeing to come here. The more connection we have, the more it can be
exploited if any of us falls into enemy hands.”

Tarren is being nice. What he means is
that he thinks The Totem are a complete liability.

Doug nods, and I wonder if he gets the
underlying insult. “We understand your concern, but we think that we can both
learn from each other. The value of our shared knowledge will compensate for
the risk.”

Geez, I feel like I just stumbled into a
board meeting. Doug can certainly go toe-to-toe with Tarren on the robot speak.

“Yeah man,” Gabe says, “I’m with Yogi on
this one. You guys need some serious Vigilante 101 if you’re going to be out
there fighting.”

Milo scowls at this. “Some of us have
training.”

“No, I need training,” Rain says and
even raises his hand a little. “Lots of training.” Milo shoots him a glare.

“We play it safe,” I cut in, looking at
Tarren. “Communicate via clean cells, meet in neutral locations, develop a
basic system of code words and stay away from specifics, names, dates, places,
that sort of thing.”

“It’s still dangerous,” Tarren says. I
can see his mind trying to work, struggling to push through the heavy blanket
of drugs. If he were clear headed, he could list a thousand and one reasons why
we should stay away and let The Totem implode. But he looks at Milo, and his
attention shifts.

“Oh, it’s you,” Tarren says.

“Settled then,” Gabe says. “I’ve got two
clean burners in the car.

Beneath Tarren’s inspection, Milo’s gaze
firmly plants on his shoes, and his aura blushes deep violets. And honestly, I
can understand the attraction. Tarren cuts the perfect tragic hero. That scar
across his jaw is practically a billboard for danger and sacrifice.

“And you,” Tarren says, his eyes
alighting on Rain. “You were the two we took out of the house, in…in…”

“Poughkeepsie,” I offer him.

“So, this is what you’ve chosen.” I can almost
hear a lifetime of tribulation in those words.

Milo just keeps looking at his shoes,
his aura twisting with lust and angry yellows. Tarren doesn’t seem to realize
or care about his dashing looks or the alpha male vibe he puts out like
cologne, but the rest of the world definitely notices. I think about
Francesca’s furtive glances beneath her lashes, Lo’s shamelessly flirty stepmother,
the blush that so often creeps up in the cheeks of young waitresses when Tarren
orders. Milo has good company in the Tarren fan club.

“You don’t have the patent on
vengeance,” Doug says, stepping up next to Milo and Rain. His round face is
pink with cold, and he’s wearing a particularly hideous hand-knitted checkered
scarf. It’s quite a feat that despite the scarf and the solid roundness of his
frame, Doug still manages to emote a leadership-like quality. It’s his eyes,
all that fierce intelligence and conviction in his gaze. I remember our brief
conversation before I sent him on a mandatory trip to Happy Happy Fun Time
Land. He lost someone too. Someone who made his world shine.

“No, I don’t,” Tarren says, “I just…” He
struggles with his next words, like maybe he has an inkling that he would never
usually say them out loud. “I want better for the ones we save.”

And then he turns and walks away. I’m
not sure exactly where he’s headed, but I let him go anyway.

“Is he always like that?” Rain asks me.

“Not usually that upbeat,” I answer. He
smiles, and the butterflies take off in my stomach.

“Here we go.” Gabe slides out of the
jeep, throws an arm around Doug’s shoulders, and starts reviewing the
communication plan that he and I devised the night before.

The girl stays close to Doug as he and
Gabe plot, but her eyes are unfocused, and I doubt she’s hearing a word of the
conversation. Milo leans against the truck, sulking and no doubt scratching the
paint with his chain belt. His eyes follow Tarren’s slowly retreating figure.

Rain makes a motion with his head, and
together we peel away from the group and walk a little ways to the sidewalk. I
study him under my lashes. The red knit cap hides his hair, and today he’s
wearing gloves. I like his height. If we embraced, I bet my head would tuck
perfectly below his chin.

We’ve stopped. When did we stop?

“Alright, I’m about to do something
royally stupid, ready?” he asks.

He’s going to kiss me,
I think stupidly.
Do I want him to
kiss me?
I do, of course I do, but I don’t, he can’t. What if I…

“Here.” He’s holding out a slip of
paper. His aura jumps. I’m distracted for a moment, watching it, before I take
the paper from his hands.

“What’s this?” I ask even though I know
exactly what it is.

“My number. You don’t have to do
anything with it. I just thought that if you ever wanted...”

“But Gabe just gave you two clean cells.”

“If you ever wanted to talk to
me
,”
he finishes and shrugs. “Like I said, you don’t have to.” Brown stubble covers
his jaw. It’s a good look for him. Oh yes, a very good look.

“Things between us….” I stop, not sure
what to say next. Does my voice always sound this high – like maybe I was a
chipmunk in another life? “I’m just…really bad at this…and…” I hold up my
gloved hands. “We can’t be…I mean, not that that’s what you are even…is it?”

“Uh….” Rain smiles a nervous smile.

I think he’s beautiful.

He’s going to get killed. Soon.
But I’m looking at his lips, and I want
to kiss them. I want his energy too.