Rising Tide: Dark Innocence (The Maura DeLuca Trilogy Book 1) (21 page)

“Maybe later in the week?”
 She mistook my silence…and the slight drop of my jaw from the shock.

“No! No, that would be…ok,” at
least I was being genuine too.

Susie gave my arm one more squeeze.
 “I have to run to Biology.  I’m sorry!  But we’ll talk
tomorrow, ok?”  I nodded.  “Oh, and I’m really sorry about Ron’s
mom.  I hope she gets better.”

I watched her walk away, making
myself late to geometry and facing more embarrassment when the teacher
commented on my tardiness…but I had a new hope in my heart, a small bit of
happiness to take up residence with all the turmoil. 

The rest of September melted away,
the days conglomerating into a slow-running stream of stress, loneliness…and
the occasional happiness.

Ron wasn’t around much.  We
had maybe three ‘dates’ the rest of the month.  I was mournfully stung
that he never mentioned the card and guitar songbook I’d sent him for his
birthday.  But he had good reason for being distracted.  His mother’s
condition had deteriorated the night of her collapse, so she was in the
hospital indefinitely.  Months of chemotherapy, and the ensuing nausea,
had left her unable to keep down much of anything.  She needed several
weeks of IV-fed nutrition to get her strength back up.

As if being her sole support system
wasn’t enough stress on poor Ron, he had a ton of assignments to do.  His
mother had insisted he keep up with his coursework.  He’d told me he was
able to complete them, sitting in her hospital room, while she slept. 
Added to all this was the sad situation that gigs had now become a
necessity.  When his father had passed away, the victim of a car accident,
his mother had wisely paid off the house and banked the remainder of the life
insurance benefit.  During her illness, they’d lived on that money, but
now it was almost gone.  I’d begged Ron to let me ask Caelyn for help, but
he’d stubbornly refused.  In fact, he forbade me from saying a word to
her, explaining that the frat had passed the word around about the band. 
Death Moon had bookings every Friday and Saturday night to the end of
October.  They’d be playing at, not only other fraternity house parties,
but even some of the bars in town—one of the bar owners, an alumni, had shown
up at the last gig.  Even though there was no house payment, Ron still had
to cover the electric bill, groceries and gas.  Luckily, playing in the
band was taking care of that for him.   

A hospital bound—possibly even
dying—mother, a full-time college schedule, weekend-filling gigs and weeknight
rehearsals in preparation for those gigs.  He didn’t have time for me, and
I knew it.  The few times we did talk, I never complained, never looked
sad, never mentioned that other mystery girl—who was killing me inside—never
mentioned any concerns I had over my own health.  I tried to support him
as much as possible, radiating joy through every pore, while in front of the
computer screen.  The dark shadows under his eyes and tired pallor of his
face broadcast clearly, Ron
couldn’t
handle even one more infinitesimal
crisis.  I texted him happy thoughts and encouragement, even when I knew
he wouldn’t be able to answer. 

I filled in my time as best I
could.  There was the housework, less engaging in the one-level
apartment.  My homework was always, dutifully done.  I even had a few
outings with some of my newfound friends.

Susie had introduced me to the rest
of her small group, and they were all very nice, but from the start she and I
seemed to have a special bond.  Besides, I didn’t want everyone else to
know what was going on in my mess of a personal life, so when we went out
socially, it was alone, so we could talk.  It was an enormous relief to
have someone of my own age to confide in—who occupied the same room. 

Susie had come into my life just at
the right time.  Caelyn became progressively more busy at work.  She
had dinner meetings several times a week, sometimes even on weekends.  I
was proud of her success and the happiness it brought her, so I never whispered
a word about Ron or let on that our calls had diminished.  Whenever she
asked about his mother, I always said she was, “doing much better now.” 

Caelyn
had loosened up a bit, but when I went out, I still had to be in by 8:30—11:30
on weekends—and I always had to call my mother at least once, no matter where I
was.  She was obviously worried about my health, too.  She’d taken to
monitoring my temperature at least three times a week and was still watching my
diet very carefully.  Still, when I badgered her about not having a dental
appointment yet, or complained that the health cards were never going to show
up, my mother kept telling me to be patient. 

I was incessant, asking every day,
when finally, at the beginning of October, she slapped an appointment card down
on the counter. 

“There, Maura!” she exclaimed, “you
officially have an appointment with the dentist.  Happy now?”  Caelyn
didn’t look very happy.

I looked at the card and frowned.
 “November!  This isn’t for a month!  I have to wait another
month?  Mom!”

“Oh my god, Maura!”  She
rolled her eyes at me.  “It was the best I could do!  Everyone is
booked up with school starting back, if they’re even taking new patients at
all.  It’s for the first of November.  It’s not really that long to
wait.”

“Mom…” I started to protest anyway.

“Maura Maxine!” Her emerald eyes
blazed, and I took a step back.  “Are you in any pain?!”

“Well…no…”

“Does it hurt to eat?  Do you
bleed when you brush?”

“I’m worried about them falling
out…”  I absent-mindedly put a finger under one of my canines and wiggled.

Caelyn
smiled at that.  Her tone was full of amusement.  “Have you been
eating too much junk before bed?  Stop placing stock in bad dreams, Maura,
your teeth are not going to fall out.”  She reached up to playfully wiggle
the tooth I was playing with.

“
Ow
!” 
She drew her hand back in a flash and I had a strong sense of deja vu .  I
saw a ruby bead on the tip of her finger.  The strong desire to snatch her
finger back, so I could take the blood away with my tongue filled my whole
body…I swallowed hard and restrained myself.

“Well, they’re certainly sharp
enough!”  She raced for the bathroom, and I thought I heard her mutter
under her breath, “I’ve got to stop doing that!”

I followed, running the tip of my
own finger back and forth under first one canine and then the other. 
Nothing, not even a scratch.

“Mom?”  I stood in the
doorway, watching her run cold water over the wound.  My voice was shaky.

She smiled back at me, unshaken,
entirely.  “It’s nothing, Maura.  I just reopened a nasty paper cut I
got at work this morning.”  She quickly wrapped a band aid around her
fingertip.  “Hey what’s for dinner tonight?”

If absence makes the heart grow
fonder, it also wounds, in the process.  I had gotten too used to Skype,
allowing me to let me see Ron’s face.  Now that he had only a few precious
moments to give me, I was like a drug addict going through withdrawal. 
I’d observed the process on TV and in movies and this felt just as hard. 
He texted at least once a day, most days, but it just wasn’t the same. 

I was having a particularly morose
day, late in October.  Susie was in full cheer-up mode.  She even
resorted to flicking a French fry across the table at Amanda, a very quiet
brunette.  Our friend squealed as it bounced off her cheek and fell into
her top.  Most of the lunch room turned around to look, and Amanda flushed
a red that was dangerously close to purple.

“Susie!!” she hissed, careful not
to let the volume of her voice draw further attention.  She fished for the
fry, digging deep into the v-neckline of her purple sweater.

The two guys in our group, Kevin
and Daniel, both howled with laughter, and I had to giggle a little. 
Susie had gone to such effort, after all, even if I did feel contrite over
Amanda’s embarrassment.

“You can’t be mad.”  Susie
batted her light-colored lashes at her friend, “Look, you got a giggle out of
Maura.”

“
Ewww
,”
was all Amanda said in response.  She dabbed at her chest with a napkin
and shot Susie a venomous look.  Kevin and Daniel laughed harder.

Megan, the last member of our
group, put her hand on my shoulder.  “You haven’t been smiling enough
lately, Maura.  It is nice to see, even if Susie did have to resort to
such lengths.”  She shook her finger at Susie, like a scolding mother.
Megan was a walking school-teacher stereotype.  She wore either red or
black, thick-rimmed glasses, depending on the color of her clothes, with her
straight, shiny, dark hair twisted into a knot on the back of her head. 
She was perpetually studious and unobtrusive, with an occasional sarcastic
flare.

“Thanks.”  I smiled at all of
them, trying to show how grateful I was to have friends who cared about me.

“Hey, do you guys wanna meet down
at the skate park after school?” Daniel asked, “I think I’ve finally taught
Kevin how to stay on his board.”  Kevin immediately flicked Daniel, hard,
on the ear.

Susie waited until the ensuing,
short scuffle was over before she answered.  “Maybe for a little while,
but I’m going to take Maura out for dinner, so we won’t be staying long.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but
the bell rang, and Susie ran off to class with a smug smile and wave goodbye,
before I could say a word.

“Ok, Maura, Mexican or Chinese?”

“Huh?”  I’d been deep in
thought as Susie and I were walking down Sixth Street.  She’d hooked her
arm through mine, and I’d happily been lead along so I could better concentrate
on the image of Ron’s face in my head. 

“Do you want to go to Hon’s or Taco
Del Mar?”  She turned so she could rap on my skull with her free
hand.  “Hello? Anyone awake in there?”

“Sorry,” I smiled
repentantly.  “Are tacos ok?  And I can buy my own dinner!”

“I was hoping you’d say that! 
About the tacos I mean…I’m
still
treating you tonight.”

“But...”

“No buts.”  She gave me as stern
a look as she could muster with that cute, round face of hers.  “A girl
can take her friend out for a gourmet, extravagant dinner at Taco Del Mar,
can’t she?”

I laughed.  “Ok, but I owe you
one.  And you can at least let me buy you a Starbucks after.”  Susie
nodded as we crossed the street to the restaurant.

I knew Susie had readily agreed to
coffee after dinner, because she wanted to talk.  I didn’t talk much while
I was eating.  My friend knew me well enough by now to know there wouldn’t
be much dinner conversation, while I had food in front of me. 

“Wow…” Susie remarked as I polished
off four beef tacos with a huge side of rice and beans.  I’d even eaten
some of Susie’s salsa and chips, she’d so graciously offered.  Susie’d
told me a while ago she was in awe of my seemingly bottomless stomach.

“Oh my…that was
sooo
good!”  I patted my finally full stomach appreciatively.  “Thank you,
Susie!”

“Hey, I’m just glad you came out
with me tonight.  You ready to go get that coffee?”  That translated
to:  “Ok I’d like to talk to you now.”  Funny how this girl and I had
an unspoken communication after such a short time.

“Well, you’re lucky
Caelyn
had a work meeting tonight.”  My mother liked
for me to be home on the nights she was.

“
Yeeeeaaaaa
…” 
Susie let the mystery of her sarcasm hang in the air.  She flitted quickly
to her feet and was halfway to the door before I got out of the booth.

“Hey, wait up!”  I moved after
her as fast as the heavy meal would allow.

After we’d waited for our
beverages—there was an unspoken rule that we started no conversations until
sitting—Susie found two cushy chairs in a back corner. 

Her nose crinkled up in delight as
she sniffed at her Cinnamon Dulce Latte.  The drink suited her, with that
sprinkling across her nose.  It somehow made her even more endearing, like
you could trust her with any secret, maybe even your life.  I’d always
wanted freckles, so I envied her that perfect little dusting.  But my skin
was unmarked paleness.  I didn’t possess a single freckle or birthmark—not
even a mole. 

I sipped at my regular
coffee.  I was trying to learn to like it…drinking it made me feel more
like the adult I was becoming.  I still had to put in some sugar and a
hefty amount of cream.

“Honestly, Maura, I don’t see how
you stay so slim.  You eat like a lumberjack!”

“Good metabolism?”  I shrugged
my shoulders.  Must have been, because I hadn’t gained an ounce in the
last six months.

“Some of us are just lucky I
guess.”  Susie sipped thoughtfully at her drink.  She had her hands
wrapped around the cup, drawing in its warmth.  Fall was good for that, accosting
people with that first chill, prompting them to seek out all the warm things
that transformed it into cozy and comfortable.

“So, your mom had another work
dinner, eh?” Susie asked.  She had a funny look in her eyes.

“Yea…so?”

Susie leaned in, conspiratorially
close.  “You want to know what I think?”

“Well, I’m sure you’re going to
tell me, right?”

“I think your mom has a new
boyfriend,” she finished triumphantly.

“What?!  No!  You don’t know
how impossible that is!” I shot back.  I looked at Susie like she was a
mental patient, constructing a tale about the zombie apocalypse.

“Oh come on, Maura!  Think
about it…who schedules work dinners on the weekend?”

“Some of her clients come from out
of town.  They stay for weeks at a time.  There’s just no way…” 
My mind was reeling at just the idea.

“Well, that does sound reasonable…”
Susie seemed less sure of herself now.  Then she voiced her next thought.
 “But she didn’t do this in Pennsylvania!  You told me that she’d
just started working on weekends since you two moved here.  Don’t you find
that at all strange?”

Ok yes, but it’s a different
country and different clientele.  Vancouver’s a much bigger city…” But I
had to admit I’d started to mull over Susie’s suggestion.  She’d
successfully planted the seed of doubt. 

“Has she started dressing
differently?  Like better, you know?  Does she get her hair done a
lot, wear more makeup? Anything like that?”

I laughed at this.  “Oh you
don’t know my mother!  She always looks spectacular—her hair and makeup
are always perfect, and she’s always dressed up.  Millionaire clients to
impress, remember?”

“Well…has her mood changed at
all?  Is she forgetful, dreamy?  Happier?”

That word made me start. 
Could a man be the reason behind Caelyn’s upgraded mood?  No, it had to be
the new job, the change of scenery.

“Did I strike a nerve there,
Maura?”  Susie looked quite pleased with herself.

“Take it easy, Sue-lock Holmes,”
she giggled at that, “like I said, you don’t know my mother.  Ok…yes, she
has had a definite mood turnaround, but if you knew her the way I do, you’d
know that a boyfriend is, simply, an impossibility for her.”

“How long’s it been since she was
seeing someone?” Susie kept up the sleuthing.

“She never has,” I said.  My
voice came out weird and strained, because the conversation was bringing up the
whole Dad thing, in that raw spot reserved for him in my heart.

“So your Dad…?”

“Was the last guy she had in her
life, yea.”  I couldn’t help wincing.  I’d tried not to think about
my missing father.  The absence of Ron was sufficient to deal with.

“Wow…”  Susie’s face was
frozen in a mask of awe, “Now that’s true love!”

“Yes,” I answered softly, “and
she’s never stopped being miserable over losing him.  She’s only told me a
little bit about him.  Even talking about him hurts her too much. 
She doesn’t like love songs or romantic movies.  And I guess now, I know
how she feels.  I don’t think it’s possible for her to be interested in
someone new.”  I was speaking about myself at the end, as well as my
mother.

“Still,” Susie’s richly green eyes
were focused on some imaginary thought hanging in mid-air, “seventeen
years.  That is a very, very, very long time to be single, don’t you
think?  Maybe the move, the new surroundings have gotten to her
somehow?  Or maybe she just had to meet the right guy?  Isn’t it even
remotely possible?”

I pondered on all that for a
moment.  “Ok…remotely, infinitesimally possible,” I admitted.  “But
even if she is, there’s no way she’s going to tell me.  Well, not unless
it gets to a very serious point, anyway.”  I knew my mother well, and this
kind of thing would definitely be on a need-to-know basis, like if she were
getting engaged or something.  I knew her guilt over depriving me of my
father…I could tell she felt, at least, partly responsible…so she wouldn’t
bring a new man into our lives unless there was a rock-solid future
there.  “Guess I’ll just have to wait and see.”

“No you don’t!” Susie interjected,
a wild light in her eyes.  “You know where her office is right?”

“Yes...”

“The next time she has one of her
dinner meetings, we’ll go downtown after school and follow her.”  She
looked very gratified with herself.

I thought about her suggestion for
a couple of minutes.  “I don’t know…” I finally answered.  “That seems
pretty sneaky…and intrusive…and dishonest.”

“Ok, point taken, but
if
she
is seeing someone, who was the first one to be sneaky, intrusive and
dishonest?  Ok, not so much intrusive,” Susie chuckled.

The thought that
Caelyn
could be doing this behind my back started to make
me a little miffed.  Even if she didn’t want me to meet men she might
date, and that I could understand perfectly, she could at least be honest and
tell me she was dating again.  She had to know how much I worried about
her relentless grief over my father’s loss. 

“And you’ll go with me?” I asked
meekly.  I’d only been downtown once, to see my mother’s spectacular new
office.  She’d driven me. Given my summer, living like a hermit crab, I
hadn’t tried out the Skytrain yet.  Hey, any new thing was a bit scary.

“Of course!  We’ll just go
take an innocent peek.  Either we’ll find out your mom is telling you the
truth and has been schmoozing her fingers to the bone, or…well, you know the
alternative.”  Susie cut off at the end, seeing my pained expression at
the thought of that outcome.

When I got home, Caelyn still
wasn’t back, so I popped on Skype to see if Ron might somehow, magically be
available.  He wasn’t online, but Merina was.  She hadn’t been on
much lately, and every time I’d looked at her offline status for the past few
weeks, I’d gotten a knot of dread in my stomach that there might be a troubling
reason she was staying away.

Nervously, I clicked on the call button. 
Merina answered, but she didn’t look overly happy to see me.  The knot
doubled, tripled, making me feel nauseous, as always, when I felt this much
dread.  I tried to slow and deepen my breathing, so I could hold on to the
dinner gift from Susie.

“Hi Maura.”  Merina said it
timidly, like she was afraid her words were dangerous weapons.  The
trepidation that filled me made my blood icy in my veins.

Better to cut to the truth, and
whatever was bothering her in such an obvious way?  “Merina, I can tell
something’s wrong…and you haven’t been around for such a long time.  Just
tell me.  No matter how bad it is, it can’t be as horrible as being left
in the dark wondering, not knowing the truth.  Would you want me to keep something
from you about Shane, even if it
was
terrible?  Wouldn’t you want
to know the truth instead of feeling like an idiot for believing something that
was a lie?”

I was referring to that other girl,
I guess because Merina was the one who’d revealed her existence in the first
place, but then I had an even scarier thought.  “Oh my god, Ron’s mom…Has
something happened, Merina?”

“No, no!  She’s doing pretty
good, actually.  Shane and I went to see her yesterday.  She’s still
really weak and everything, but she’s better than she was even a week
ago.”  Merina had become a little more animated, telling me this news, but
once she finished, she dipped her head .  I knew it was to avoid looking
me in the eye.

“Come on,
Merina
,”
I sighed and bolstered myself up, prepared to hear the worst, “out with it
already.”

Merina
looked up, and she had a fire in her eyes now.  When she spoke, there was
fury in her voice, and she found her courage along with it.  “I just hate
to see you get hurt!  You’re too sweet to have someone treat you like
this!”