Risky Business (28 page)

They're mine now.

Maybe that's how a man knew it was love.

He took a shower, thinking about Allison and love, about the pleasure he was going to give her that night. Maybe after he took her on the kitchen table, they could christen the couch or the reception desk. No matter where they ended up, as long as he was with her, he'd be happy.

He got out of the shower, toweled off, then she was there, standing in his bedroom door with a stack of papers in one hand and a baby monitor in the other.

He smiled at her. “You got on my boat. I'm proud of you.”

A shadow crossed her face. “We have to talk.”

“I don't understand,” Theo said. “How did the business never belong to Lowell? He paid taxes. He filed workers' comp.”

They were all questions Allison had asked Oscar after she'd gotten over the initial shock of the news. She was glad now, while explaining everything to Theo, that she'd been able to remember his answers, given all the random thoughts pinging around in her head.

“The corporate partnership filing is separate. Oscar said that the IRS doesn't have the manpower or interest in cross-checking state-level corporation paperwork every year to make sure the right person is cutting the check for the business's taxes. We might have never known the truth if we hadn't gone through the proper channels to make us both CEOs of Cloud Nine Inc., something I hadn't thought to do when Lowell handed over ownership to me. But with the two of us, I wanted to make it official and permanent.”

He was silent, but though he held her hand, she could sense him pulling away, retreating into himself. “So because we tried to do everything right and legally, we're being punished?”

“That's what it feels like, doesn't it?” She swallowed, determined not to lose it until she was alone. She'd already cried enough in front of Theo for one day. “I am so very sorry.”

He took his hand back and stared out the window at Cloud Nine. “We're losing everything?”

That's what she'd thought at first, too, so she could hardly hold it against him. But now she knew better. She wasn't losing everything. Far from it. Sure, she was probably losing her job and her house, but she had Katie and she had a whole new set of skills and confidence that she'd never had before. She might very well end up working double shifts as a waitress, with Katie being raised in day care, but she had faith that it would only be temporary as she continued to hone her business skills. She might still be scrambling for footing, but at least she didn't have a sick child and a mountain of debt like the Malones.

She was holding out hope that she would have Theo's love, too, in the long run, but the longer she studied his profile, the more doubt crept into her mind. Her eyes and nose stung at the thought, but she was nowhere near ready to give up on him yet. Not by a long shot.

“If you mean the business and Lanette, then the answer is that, for me, they're lost and I'm making my peace with that. For you, it depends. Shorty's grandson and his wife, the Malone family, aren't going to give this place up for free, not with the situation they're in. Presley and Oscar said I could sue the Malones for ownership, but I don't want to because they need this place worse than I do. They have a sick baby and Jeff Malone has been out of work for two years.”

She chose her next words carefully. “I'm considering asking them if I can stay on as an employee, maybe the secretary or the office manager, as long as I can have Katie here with me. If not, then I'm probably going to move closer to Niagara Falls and find work nearer to my family so—”

She jumped at the sudden scrape of his chair against the floor. Theo sprang from his seat and walked to the far side of the room, his back to her as he stared out the glass pane on the door. Her throat tightened.

“So they can watch Katie while I'm at work,” she finished in a thin, shaky voice.

She watched him until the weight of the silence was unbearable “Theo . . .”

“Does Oscar think they might be open to selling it?”

She purposefully hadn't mention Oscar's suggestion that Theo make an offer to the Malones to buy the business. She was certain that Theo would arrive at that conclusion on his own. After all, he'd been poised, financially and mentally, to buy Cloud Nine from Lowell, then her.

He had the means to singlehandedly save Allison and Katie from an uncertain and financially insecure future. But knowing what she did about his past, she would never breathe a word about him buying the business because it might be a short trip in his mind to him inferring that she wanted that for him because she had an agenda. She didn't. At least, she didn't have one about the business.

She refused to thrust herself into the same category as his parents and Noelle. Her agenda was to fight for his love, and she wasn't going to muddy it up by involving Cloud Nine and evoking flashbacks to the darkest times in his life. She wanted him to be her hero, yes, but by rescuing her heart, not her job.

“Yes. Oscar mentioned that they'd probably be open to either selling the business in its entirety or selling a percentage. I'm sure you and Oscar will weigh the pros and cons of those choices and figure out what's best for you.”

He said something in French, but she didn't have the heart to ask him to translate. It was time for her to say her piece and leave him to consider his choices.

“Here's what I want you to know, Theo.” She said it loud enough that he had to hear that she was speaking, even if he didn't want to listen anymore. “Cloud Nine was what I needed when I thought all was lost. I have no regrets. Not one. Because of coming to Destiny Falls, I made good friends; I have some basic business skills and a lot more confidence in my ability to take care of myself and Katie.” She stared at him, hoping he'd turn to see why she'd stopped talking. He didn't. “And because I came here, I fell in love with a great man.”

He didn't react to that, either. Her heart sank, even though she'd prepped herself not to expect him to reciprocate, at least, not tonight, after such devastating news.

“Theo, please look at me.”

He tore his gaze from the dark water beyond the window and looked at her, his expression sad and far away. So, then, he had been listening.

“You and I should talk about that later,” she said, “after you've had time to process everything. The exhibition game is still happening in two nights. The timing is terrible, I know. But that game, it's everything to this town and your team. I don't know how you're going to be able to concentrate on the joy of it all, but, please, you have to try.

“You all have this amazing opportunity to show the world how tough wounded vets are and maybe inspire other vets who are injured or have lost hope. It's a blessing. I'm going to the gala tomorrow night, and I'd still like to go as your date. You're going to love the dress I bought this morning.”

She stood, grabbed the baby monitor, and walked behind him. Leaning her face into his back between his shoulder blades, she rubbed his arm. “I'm going to go back to the house so you can be alone with your thoughts, but before I do, I need you to know something. I might have decided to give up Cloud Nine without a fight, but it's just a place. It's just a job. What I'm not willing to give up is you. I've fallen in love with you. And I'm not letting you go without a fight.”

He shook his head. “Allison—”

“No, please. Don't say anything yet. Just think. We'll talk tomorrow.”

She forced herself to step back away from his heat and strength and walked out the door, even though it was the hardest thing—leaving everything unfinished instead of pushing the issue of their relationship right then and there or begging for a kiss, for some kind of reassurance that he still cared for her despite all that had happened.

He followed her onto his back deck and held a hand out to help her over the rail. In silence, he walked behind her up the stairs to the office's back door. He held it open for her.

“Thank you for walking with—”

He snagged her by the hips, pulling her up against him, then he took her mouth in a rough, demanding kiss.

Tears welled in her eyes, relief that he still cared about her and fear that this was his way of saying good-bye. She grabbed handfuls of his shirt, hanging on, kissing him back. Then the kiss turned tender, sorrowful. His hand stroked her cheek, catching tears.

He ended the kiss, then tucked her face under his chin, resting her cheek on his chest, his arms tight bands around her. She still couldn't decide what he was trying tell her with his actions that he hadn't been able to express with words. It felt like good-bye. It felt like
I care about you, but I can't
.

A sob broke free from so far within her she hadn't known it was coming. She swallowed and held her breath, fighting for control over her emotions. She was tired of crying, and she didn't want Theo to see her this weak and needy.

She pushed against him until he let her go, then she pulled the door open and slipped inside without a word. She couldn't say good night to him, nor good-bye, nothing that acknowledged their parting. Still, she stood in the shadows of the main room, holding her breath, watching him stand at the door staring at his feet. Her heart pounded with hope that he might follow her inside. But any hope she had that he might take her upstairs and make love to her vanished when he turned toward the canal and walked away.

***

There were a lot of different kinds of pain, as Theo had discovered throughout his life. Physical pain, in itself, had a thousand different facets. Then there was the pain of betrayal, the pain of being alone. The pain of endless sleepless nights in faraway deserts trying to stay alive and keep your comrades alive, then the pain of attending funerals for those same fallen comrades, and the pain of being the lone survivor.

But nothing—not getting blown up in Afghanistan or attending his blood brothers' funerals, not even the realization too late of what it said about him that he'd pressured Noelle to have an abortion—compared to the pain of having the woman he loved stand before him and tell him with her eyes, and in so many words, that she didn't expect him to be there for her in her time of greatest need. It was a shocking, breathless pain compounded by the knowledge that it was all his fault.

Back on Lanette, he paced the cabin, replaying the look on Allison's face, replaying her words. He always thought that failure meant falling short when people trusted you to come through for them. But this, having someone he cared about not even expect him to attempt to try to rise to the occasion, that was a whole new level of failure.

After what happened with Noelle and then in the army, he'd deliberately structured his life reboot in Destiny Falls to prevent the vicious cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure that had plagued the first twenty years of his life. He didn't want to be beholden to anyone, and he made sure everyone knew it, including Allison.

It shouldn't have been a surprise that she hadn't expected him to help her now.

He kicked the couch. From the first night she'd sat on it, he'd worked hard to teach her not to count on him—and she hadn't. When she needed help moving her furniture into Cloud Nine, it was his friends who'd helped. When Katie had a fever in the middle of the night, she'd planned to take care of it on her own even though he was sleeping less than fifty meters away. Even after they'd gotten involved romantically, she didn't ask him for anything. When she'd needed a stand-in at the pool with Katie, she'd called Chelsea, her flaky sister. Anything she needed, she turned to others because that was how he'd told her it had to be, over and over again.

Yet, she loved him anyway. She loved him even though she thought she was going to need to fight for him, even though she didn't think of the two of them as a team, for better or for worse. It stung, that she thought that. It stung because it was his own damn fault for putting it out there that she wasn't even allowed to thank him, let alone need him, lest she drive him away.

What an idiot he'd been. He'd never felt so low, so unworthy of a person's love. When Lowell Whitley was arrested, then found guilty, Theo had thought he was going to lose his home and his job. He'd thought those were the most important elements of his life, his identity as a man. Only now, having lost both of those things, did he realize how inconsequential they were to who he was.

He'd realized today with Katie in the pool that he wanted, more than anything, to be the person that Allison and Katie counted on—for their happiness, their home, their security, their finances. Everything. Not her flaky sister or his friends, but him. Losing Cloud Nine and Lanette didn't change that. If anything, it made his resolve stronger because there was no middle ground anymore. No more helping her here and there as he got used to the idea of being accountable to another. No more comfort in the knowledge that the business provided for her basic needs, like income and a roof over her head. Moving forward, as he saw it, he had only two choices: a life with Allison or a life without her.

There was only one thing to do.

He got Oscar on the phone. “Hey, Oscar, sorry to bother you so late. It's Theo Lacroix.”

“Allison must have told you. I can't tell you how sorry I am about all this.”

“Yes, well, you and I need to meet. Tonight. I need a new contract proposal drawn up so I can show it to the Malone family tomorrow morning.”

Oscar was silent for a long beat. “You have a meeting with the Malones in the morning? In Cleveland?”

“Not yet, but I plan to be very persuasive.”

Oscar sighed. “I'll meet you at my office in an hour.”

In no time flat, Theo had thrown together enough clothes and toiletries in a backpack to tide him over, then added the paperwork Allison had brought that night, along with his digital recorder and glasses. He swung onto his bike, not bothering to lock up Lanette or even take one last look at it or the landing house. It hurt too much to see all he stood to lose.

Allison would hear him leave, but he couldn't face her. His thoughts were too dark, his pain too raw, his honor too compromised. He considered writing her a note, but his brain was bouncing in too many different directions for him to overcome his TBI.

He started the engine and took off like a bullet into the night, numb to the biting air, numb to the past and the impending hockey game. It was just him, the road, and a million fears and hopes looming over him like stars. All he knew was that if he expected Allison to have faith in him, then he first had to restore his faith in himself.