Road To Nowhere (7 page)

“Bring us half a gallon of vanilla ice cream while you’re at it,” Bill told the waitress, handing back the menus. He added, when the waitress was gone, “I should have asked for candles.”

“They don't have candles in a coffee shop,” Teresa said. “Besides, it isn’t my birthday.”

“But it is,” Bill said. He lifted his glass of water, indicating they were to have a toast. “You were reborn tonight. When I saw you up there under the lights, everybody's eyes on you, I knew you had at last emerged from your cocoon.”

He swirled the ice around in his water. “To the new Teresa Chafey! May she live long and prosper!”

“Do we have to bury the old Teresa Chafey so soon?” Teresa asked, laughing. “She wasn’t such a bad sort. She managed to catch Mr. Bill, after all.”

Bill turned to Rene. “Do I look like a caught man?” he asked.

Rene lost her smile for a moment as she stared at Bill. Her smile returned and she slowly lowered her head. “You look like a guy who does what he wants to do,” she muttered.

Teresa giggled. “Hey, he can do what he wants as long as he does it with me!”

Rene seemed embarrassed, which surprised Teresa. They were all just carrying on, after all. Briefly, she wondered what Bill and Rene had talked about between her acts.

“I was just kidding,” Rene said.

There was an awkward pause. “I was just kidding,” Teresa said. She glanced at Bill. “Am I missing something here?”

“No,” Bill said quickly. “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing.” Teresa smiled. “Nothing.” She reached over and took Bill’s hand. “So, I fulfilled my part of the bargain. Now it’s your turn.”

Bill blinked. “What?”

“Our romantic weekend,” Teresa said. “You said we could go on one after I was a superstar.”

Bill hesitated. “Sure. We’ll have to do that sometime.”

“Not
sometime
,” Teresa said. “Sometime soon.”

Bill shrugged. “OK.”

“How can you go away for a whole weekend?” Rene asked. “Your parents won’t let you – you know that.”

“I’ve gone away for the weekend with you,” Teresa said. “Remember that time we went down to San Diego together? I’ll tell them I’m going away with you again.”

Rene was doubtful. “Your mom would probably call my mom to see if we were really together.”

“I guess you’ll have to come with us, then,” Bill said to Rene.

Rene blushed again. “All right by me.”

“Hold on a second,” Teresa said, forcing herself to laugh this time. “We can work it out better than that!”

Bill was enjoying the scenario. “I think I could handle two girls at once.”

Rene caught his eye. She wasn’t blushing now. “Don’t fool yourself, Bill. There’s no way you could handle both of us at once.”

“Yeah,” Teresa agreed, although the word sounded hollow in her ears. There was something wrong with this conversation, but she wasn’t sure what. The possibility that Rene liked Bill, and vice versa, in a romantic way, never crossed her mind. Why should it? They had just met, and Bill already had a girlfriend. A girlfriend he loved.

Bill drove her home. Rene followed in her car. Rene honked as she made the turn that took her towards her own house. Bill laughed and honked back.

“It was great that Rene could make it to your opening night,” Bill said.

“I was happy to have her there,” Teresa agreed.

“She’s coming Thursday.”

“What?”

“She’s coming on Thursday.”

“I heard you. Why is she coming? I mean, so soon?”

Bill shrugged. “She wants to. Don’t you want her to?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“She’s fun to talk to.”

“Yeah.”

They turned into her apartment complex. Bill parked his car next to hers, but he didn’t turn off the engine. He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

“You were fabulous tonight,” he said.

“Thank you.” She ran her hand through his hair, her favourite pastime in the whole world. “Thanks for everything. I'd never have had a night like this if it weren’t for you.”

Bill squeezed her shoulder. “It’s late. You should get to bed.”

“Do you want to tuck me in?” she asked.

“I don’t think your parents would appreciate that.”

“Bill?”

“What?”

“Turn off the car. What’s your hurry to leave? I want you to kiss me.”

Bill silenced the car and kissed her. But maybe she was pressing the issue. It was late; he must have been tired. He kissed her as if his mind was somewhere else. She was the one to break their embrace, though. She took his right ear in her left hand and massaged it gently, which she knew he enjoyed.

“We would have fun if we went away together,” she said.

His eyes were sleepy. “What would we do?”

“Make passionate love.”

He chuckled. “Seriously.”

“I am serious.” She pinched his ear when he didn't show the pleasant surprise she expected. “Come on! Don’t you want to?”

He seemed confused. “Sure. We’d have to be careful, you know. I wouldn’t want you to get pregnant.”

She grinned. “Well, I don’t want to get pregnant either. But I’ve read that there are steps you can take to avoid that.” She paused. “Am I coming on too strong?”

“No.”

“Then what’s the matter?”

“I'm tired is all. I have to get up and go to school in five hours.”

“I have to go to school, too,” she snapped. “And I’ve done a lot more this evening than you.”

“Teresa.”

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.”

Inexplicably, in the midst of her euphoria, she felt her heart sink. It was fine to be a star, but she wanted to be desired. “Did you mean it?” she asked.

“Did I mean what?”

“That you love me?”

He sounded irritated – rare for him. “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it. Look, Teresa, let’s talk in the morning. I’m getting a headache.”

She opened the car door, suddenly feeling small. “OK. I love you, Bill. This is a night I’ll always remember.”

“I’m sure we’ll both remember it,” he said.

“He was already in love with Rene,” Teresa told Freedom Jack and Poppy Corn. “From that point on he was just trying to figure out how to dump me.”

“He still wanted to screw you, though, didn’t he?” Free asked. “I bet you he got his fill before dumping you. Am I right or am I right?”

Teresa hesitated and then lied. “You got it, mister.”

“It sounds like they liked each other from the start,” Poppy said.

Free turned. “You’re insensitive, did you know that? Here Teresa opens her heart to us and you’re rooting for the other guy.”

Poppy wasn’t fazed. She never acted as if she was. Not so long as she had a cigarette in her mouth. The inside of the car was as smoky as a barn on fire. Teresa rolled her window down. She had put it up so that they could hear her tale of woe better.

“He doesn’t sound like that bad a guy,” Poppy said.

“You just didn't know him,” Teresa said. “He was a user.”

Poppy took a deep drag. “We’re all users.”

“Candy sure used John,” Free said.

“Hah,” Poppy told him.

Free turned round once more. “How can you say that? You knew those two as well as I did. Once Candy was where she wanted to be, she never thought about John again. She dumped him like bad luggage. Just the way, I suppose, Bill dumped Teresa.”

“There are always two sides to every story,” Poppy said.

“Why don’t you tell us Candy’s side,” Free said.

“Where are we?” Poppy asked, as if it mattered.

“Thirty miles south of San Luis Obispo,” Teresa said.

“How are you feeling, Teresa?” Poppy asked.

“Fine,” Teresa said. She was not being absolutely honest. Her fever persisted. She must be catching a virus, she thought. Her skin felt clammy.

She found it odd Poppy was inquiring after her health.

Poppy sighed. “All right, I’ll tell you about Candy. If you get bored just let me know. Her life wasn’t all that exciting.”

CHAPTER FIVE

“Candy didn’t go off to Berkeley when John was thrown in juvenile hall, not right away,” Poppy said. “That was June, the beginning of summer. Candy had three months of loneliness to ponder what had happened to John. She felt awful about it, and she thought she was largely to blame. She thought if she had only eaten the cheat sheet as soon as that silly Sally had called for Mr. Sims, the whole fiasco could have been avoided. But then, at other times she wondered if that was true. She had known of John’s temper from the beginning, and almost, at the start of their relationship, she had backed away from him because of it. John really couldn’t control himself when he got mad. His first reaction was to swing out with his fists. Yet he had never once come close to hitting Candy, which was probably why she had stayed with him as long as she had. But sometimes Candy saw the incident with Mr. Sims as something inevitable. If John hadn’t hit a teacher in high school, he probably would have hit one in college. John had taken so much physical abuse from his stepfather, it was as if he had to get back at someone.

“Candy tried the best she could to see John while he was in juvenile hall. But her parents were way ahead of her. They spoke to the people in charge there, and Candy couldn’t even get past the front gate. They didn’t want their darling daughter associating with such scum. What a laugh. They were so excited about Candy getting into a good college that they had no idea it was all because of John. Candy tried to tell them that, but they wouldn’t listen.

“September finally arrived and it was time for Candy to head north to Berkeley. John wasn’t sentenced to three months, but fifteen weeks in juvenile hall. So he didn't get out until Candy had been at school for three weeks. John didn’t go home when he was released. Candy tried reaching him there and his parents said they didn't know where he was. She left messages for him to call her. Maybe John’s parents didn’t give those messages to John, or maybe John did get them and was too mad to call Candy. But the result was the same. Candy couldn’t get a hold of John and she had to get on with her life.

“She was a mess. She missed John terribly. The more time that went by, the worse she felt. They had been together almost two years. John was the only boyfriend she had ever had. Certainly, he wasn’t the kind of guy who was easy to replace. He had a temper, he was arrogant and tactless. But there was nobody with a bigger heart than John. He had worshipped Candy and would do anything for her. There was a lot of stuff between them that Free didn’t tell you about. Like the time John took her to the high school prom. He didn’t rent a limo and tux and show up at her door with a corsage in his hand. He got hold of a cement truck, and rented a clown’s costume instead of a tux. He made a crown out of tinfoil for her and sprayed it gold so that Candy was prom queen the moment she walked in the door. Now that may sound embarrassing, but Candy loved it. They were the centre of attention the whole night. And afterwards John fixed a bunch of potholes in the back entrance to the school. He really was a clown.

“But it was John, and not Candy, who stopped them from getting together again after he got out of juvenile hall. And I don’t care what Free says – that's the truth. Candy quickly started to drown at Berkeley. Do you know what a pre-med major requires? Tons of chemistry, physics, calculus, biology – not to mention the usual basic requirements. Candy was flunking out after the first month. Her classmates were way ahead of her from the word go. They had taken preparatory courses in high school. Candy had taken the same courses, but she had never done the work. She hired a bunch of tutors to help her, but they didn’t know where to start with her. They'd ask her things like, You don’t know what a derivative is? . . . You don't know what an acid base reaction is? . . . You don’t know what F equals MA means? Candy began to overload. Maybe she could have sat down and figured things out, if given more time. She wasn’t stupid. She just had never developed good study habits. All the stress made her freeze up. Plus she had no interest in the subjects she was taking. Free said it right when he said Candy’s parents wanted her to become a doctor. Candy wanted to be an artist, and in her entire schedule, just as in high school, she didn’t have one art class.

“The first semester Candy had to drop her hard classes so that she wouldn’t have to take Fs in them. She ended up with only six credits. She got Cs in both psychology and English. Her counsellor called her into his office, and it was all she could do to keep him from calling her parents. She promised to do better. The counsellor put her on a much easier schedule and told her to forget about going to med school – she would never get in. In a way she was relieved, but at the same time she was in shock. Her parents were paying for her tuition. If they found out the way things were going, they’d be furious. She figured they would probably cut her off. Then what? She would have to crawl home on her hands and knees and get a job at the local fast food joint. Panicking, she went to the administration building and managed to have her parents’ address changed to a P.O. box that didn't exist.

“Candy returned home for Christmas and gave vague answers about how she was doing. Her parents fell for it, for the time being. She spent most of her vacation trying to track down John. She went to his parents’ house but they wouldn't even let her in the door. All she got was John’s stepdad. He said he had no idea where John was. She went to his old job – same story. Her leads were in short supply. John had never been one to have friends. Really, that was the sad thing about John. She was his only true friend, and he had so many wonderful qualities, but people couldn't see beyond his abrasive personality. But what was equally true was that John had been Candy’s only true friend. When they had lost each other, they lost a great deal. Candy returned to Berkeley with a heavy heart.

“She did better her second semester. It would have been hard for her to do worse. But she had no major and was basically a young woman going through the motions of getting an education. She was in a paranoid state. The axe was going to fall soon, she knew. When it did, she didn’t want it to cut her whole head off. When her parents found out she was no longer pre-med, she, at least, wanted to be able to point out that she was still fulfilling her basic requirements. For that reason, she was afraid to take an art class. It was absurd. Sometimes she’d stop by a drawing class to see the quality of work being done by the students. I wouldn’t be exaggerating to say she was better than the teachers. Candy had talent, and it was all going to waste.