ROAR (57 page)

“But I also love you. Why shouldn’t we be allowed to express that love openly? Neither of us is religious, although most religious doctrines would agree with me that Tori died four years ago—or at the very latest three and a half, when she went from the coma to the persistent vegetative state.”

He dragged his hand through his hair. Perhaps he still wrestled with the decision he’d made. “Pamela, the moment I moved my ring, I pledged in my heart to cherish and love you for the rest of my life forward.” He smiled. “I’d go so far as to say you’re going to be the dominant force in my life, but I don’t want your alpha to misconstrue my words.”

She smiled through her tears. “I am also willing to pledge the same to you for the rest of my life.”

He knelt on one knee, and her hand flew to her mouth. What on earth was he doing?

“Pamela, I’d rather die than spend another night alone without you in my arms. Last night was pure hell for me.”

She trembled all over as her eyes filled with more tears. She wasn’t normally the weepy type, but her emotions were riding a roller coaster ever since California. “I cried myself to sleep last night, Kristoffer. I missed you, too.”

He reached into his left pocket and pulled out a jewelry box. The insignia on top seemed familiar, but she had too many tears in her eyes to read it.

“We’re eventually going to have to define what type of relationship we have—if for no other reason than to be able to explain it to others. But, while we can’t marry, I don’t plan to put our love on hold. Tonight, I am ready to show the world how important you are to me.” He opened the box and held it toward her. Inside were two identical silver bracelets consisting of a simple silver chain joined by the infinity symbol and a lobster clasp closure.

Forever
.

Each consisted of a simple silver chain joined by the infinity symbol and a lobster clasp closure.

“To symbolize the commitment I’m making to love you, Pamela, I want to ask if you will wear this bracelet as a token of our love.”

He’d found the perfect way to profess their love without using a traditional symbol of marriage like a ring. That he would honor their commitment in such a way left her speechless.

“I’ve been carrying this box with me since Big Sur, waiting for the right moment to share them with you.”

That’s
where she’d seen the insignia on the box—the jewelry store where he’d bought her the matching Big Sur jade earrings and necklace.

“I probably should wait until we drive back to Denver and are alone to do this, but…” A shadow passed over his face. He’d lost one love on a Denver highway and was afraid of losing her before he could do this. Oh, Kristoffer. The fear he’d lived with every time they ventured onto the road, worrying if the unthinkable would happen again, must be unbearable. She reached out to stroke his cheek.

He cleared his throat. “I can think of no better time than tonight, Pamela, to put this one on your wrist and stake my claim. And if someday you to decide to place the larger one on my wrist, I will wear it with pride and love.”

“I’m more than ready, Kristoffer.” She had been since California, but hadn’t been sure how they would manage to pull it off.

Setting the box on the deck beside him, he lifted the smaller of the two out and opened the clasp. She rarely wore rings or bracelets, because she couldn’t wear them in surgery. Some believed a wedding band should never be removed, and this was very much that type of symbol for them.

“Kristoffer, I feel I should tell you I’ll have to take it off to scrub and perform surgery. Will that be a problem?”

He gave her a funny expression then shook his head. “No. If you wore my wedding ring, you’d have to do the same, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes. It’s considered best practice to remove everything below the elbows to maintain a sterile environment in surgery.”

“Of course, you need to follow the rules your job requires. If I were a mechanic, I probably wouldn’t wear jewelry, either, for safety reasons.”

“Safety first!”
Oh, Christ!
Where had
that
come from? Well, she knew, but it was decidedly inappropriate in such a solemn moment. When he grinned, she knew he remembered her safe gesture squeeze toy Mister Safety from their scene in Sonoma. She wondered if he’d kept it afterward.

Focus, Pamela!

“Now, where was I?” He only sounded teasingly annoyed at her interruption. That he was able to find humor in life again and not be so serious was a good thing.

He held it by the ends and moved toward her left wrist, so she extended her arm and he secured it in place. He then raised her wrist to his lips and placed a kiss on the underside that sent tingles up her arm. The bracelet fit perfectly, slightly loose, but not so much that she would lose it. This simple, yet elegant piece of jewelry symbolized their commitment to each other and the world.

Kristoffer stood and kissed her lips next. “I love you, Pamela.”

He’d said it!

“I love you, too, Kristoffer, which is why I need to do this right now.”

Pamela knelt and removed the remaining bracelet from the box. Looking up at a very tall Kristoffer, she began, “Present to me your dominant wrist. Please,” she added with a smile, so as not to appear too bossy.

“I can see you’re going to be a handful. But you’re
my
handful!” He held out his right arm. She had guessed it would be that one, given that he wore his wristwatch on the left. While it was the same side he now wore Tori’s ring, she had no problem placing her bracelet around that wrist. He’d made commitments to them both.

He tilted his palm upward as if waiting for her to fill it—and his life. She hoped she would never disappoint him.

She met his gaze. “This bracelet signifies my acceptance of you—not only as my lifemate, but also as my love. While I can’t promise to control my strong alpha nature at all times, Kristoffer, please know you are the only man I’ve found to be worthy of my complete surrender in the bedroom—and in my heart.” She glanced down to place the bracelet on his wrist and kissed him in the same place he had kissed her, feeling his radial pulse beating fast against her lips.

She looked up at him again. “This bracelet will be the manifestation of my love for you and for all the world to see.”

“You honor me with your trust and love, Pamela. I will never make you regret entering into this commitment.”

“No regrets, no guilt. Remember?”

He nodded then smiled, caressing her cheek. “You know what it does to me to see you on your knees for me, don’t you?”

She nodded, unable to suppress a grin as her pulse quickened. “But my father is on the other side of that wall, so behave.”

“Wait until I get you home, Sprite.”

Home
. Another decision they needed to make. “I can’t wait, Sir!”

He helped her to her feet. As if on the same wavelength, he said, “Pamela, I want us to be together for the rest of our lives, starting tonight.”

He framed her face with his hands. Lowering his mouth to hers, they affirmed their heartfelt promises in a kiss free of reservations or regrets. Her stomach flipped in somersaults as he playfully tugged at her lower lip until she opened her mouth to him. Deepening the kiss, he held the back of her head. When it ended, they clung to one another, reluctant to pull away.

Until a neighbor’s dog barked, breaking the spell. They grinned at each other like teenagers caught necking on the porch. Well, the back deck, in this case.

Still trying to determine what had just happened, she said, “I think you’ve found the perfect way to honor us both. When did you decide to do this?”

“On our last morning in Big Sur, when I left the room while you slept in, I went shopping again. I’d had so much luck at the hotel jeweler that I went there.”

So he had purchased it after their most intimate time together—when she’d first admitted she’d fallen in love with him.

“I said goodbye to Tori the way I should have four years ago when we were in Sonoma that second night. During that walk on the beach two mornings later, I was determined to find a way to profess my love in a visible way, because I knew we were headed toward something permanent after that first night in Big Sur.” Permanent. She liked the sound of that. “So I asked the jeweler what were some traditions other than an exchange of rings where someone might make a commitment, and he mentioned love bracelets.”

“Love bracelets are perfect,” she said, looking down at his again. “I hadn’t heard of them before, but I tend not to keep up with the latest social or fashion news.” She reconnected with his gaze, basking in
that
visible sign of love, too. “So when did you decide to ask me here at my dad’s?”

He brushed his thumb over her cheekbone. “Pretty much the moment I met him this afternoon.”

Her eyes opened wider. “Wow! Kristoffer Roar Larson being spontaneous?”

“I seem to be doing that a lot lately. You’re a good influence on me, I guess.” He grinned. “But it wouldn’t have taken an observant man like your dad long to notice the two of us were more than close friends, as you told him, after spending a little time with us. You might have noticed that I can’t keep my hands to myself around you.”

She grinned back at him. “True, although you showed great restraint in front of them before and during dinner. I thought I’d go mad missing you touching me.”

His pupils dilated. What would tonight hold for them? She couldn’t wait, but needed to remain in this amazing moment.

“Of course, I was waiting for the right moment. I’d planned on it being tonight when we got home, but I’ve been carrying those bracelets in my pocket since I bought them. When we went through airport security in San Francisco and I was told to empty my pockets, I was afraid they’d ruin the surprise for you. Luckily, you were ahead of me retrieving your own things and putting on your shoes. You didn’t seem to notice.”

She smiled. “I assure you that I saw nothing.”

Kristoffer would always be a planner, which was fine with her, given the instability of her childhood and her career. She’d be able to count on him to be her rock and to always have a contingency—or twelve. That something as serious and significant in his life as this moment hadn’t been planned to the nth degree made her smile.

She admired the bracelet from several angles. “Well played, Kristoffer.” He definitely had the potential for pulling impromptu moments out of his bag of tricks when he wanted to.

Not to mention his bag of toys. Hadn’t he promised some play time tonight? And that he didn’t want to spend the night apart?

Kristoffer was a man of his word. His promises were as good as gold—or silver, in the case of her bracelet. No doubt in her mind, they would find a way to make this relationship happen, too, and be together for the rest of their lives.

Kristoffer sobered and took her hands in his to squeeze them, or hold on tighter. “Last night, when I visited Tori, I told her everything about us.”

“I love that you still talk with her like that.”

He shrugged. “I know some might think it strange, given that I know her soul doesn’t reside in the shell left behind. But I like to think her spirit visits there and that she’s aware of me from wherever she exists now.”

“I have no doubt she does. You two have a connection that transcends anything here on earth.”

She could never replace Tori, even after her body breathed its last, but as long as Pamela, too, had a place in his heart, she’d be happy.

“I know we’re both mature adults and that I didn’t have to ask your father for permission to be with you, but I wanted him to understand about Tori and why you and I don’t want to put our lives on hold until Tori passes. I assured him I’d love and cherish you and that I would never desert or harm you in any way. He said that’s all he cared about—and that you were happy.”

Standing on tiptoes, she grasped his shirt and tugged, signaling she wanted another kiss, and he obliged.

When their lips parted again, she smiled. “Do you think Dad and Monica are wondering if we’re ever going to join them again?”

“I apologized ahead of time, didn’t I? All I know is that we have a seventy-mile trip ahead of us so we’re going to be even more rude by going in there, saying our goodbyes, and heading home.”

Home
.

Before she could ask which home that would be, he added, “I’d like it to be to
our
home—my condo for now, at least.”

A grin spread across her mouth. “I thought you’d never ask. Oh, wait. You didn’t.”

He shook his head. “Brat.
Will
you move in with me?”

“I don’t want to spend another night without you.”

After one more kiss, they went back inside, made up for their manners by staying through a wonderful, quick dessert, and at last were able to say their goodbyes. To Monica, she offered, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help with Whitney’s wedding or preparing for the new baby.”

“I may come to Denver to do some shopping,” Monica said. “Maybe we can get together then, if you’re not busy with your new position.”

“I hope I get the job, but thanks for the vote of confidence. Anytime. Just let me know a little ahead of time. Bring Dad, too. There are some great new jazz clubs you two would love. Kristoffer and I have been trying them out one by one.”

At the door, Dad pulled her aside for one more hug and spoke quietly so only she could hear. “I like Kristoffer. A lot. You two are good together. I’m glad you finally found the right one.”

“Thanks, Dad. I couldn’t agree more.”

*     *     *

Back in Denver that night, with fireworks lighting up the skyline as if to celebrate his and Pamela’s new status, Kristoffer stopped by her apartment so she could pack some essentials. For someone who wasn’t particularly spontaneous—hell, far from it—he’d sure been full of surprises lately—because of Pamela.

Today alone started out with him introducing her to Tori’s parents over lunch and being given their blessing just before they headed through security to catch their flight.

That was nothing compared to tonight. They’d promised to commit themselves to each other for the rest of their lives, and now he waited as she packed her clothes to move in.