ROAR (70 page)

Focus!

Patrick handed the red rose to Gunnar at the same time that Grant presented him with the white one Pamela had carried down the aisle.

Gunnar held up Sprite’s rose first. “This white rose represents the purity of your gift of submission as well as the unity of your coming together. The petals remain slightly closed, Sprite, to show that your submission has not yet come to full bloom. In fact, it never will. Submission is ever deepening and ever growing. Therefore, you will never reach a place where you cannot open a bit more for your Dominant, Roar.”

She found comfort knowing she wasn’t expected to know everything or to be perfect in her submission that. As long as her heart remained pure and on track—she could improve with each passing day.

Next, Gunnar lifted the other rose. “The red rose signifies Roar’s Dominance, his passion, and his desire to cherish and protect his collared submissive at all costs. The red rose is almost in full bloom to symbolize Roar’s readiness to accept the responsibilities required of him.”

With a twinkle in his eye toward her, Gunnar continued. “While traditionally, we might now have used the thorns of roses to shed blood, Sprite pointed out the inherent health dangers,” he winked at her, and Roar smiled remembering her tirade. His alpha submissive wouldn’t blindly follow and he’d better be willing to admit when he was wrong and cut his losses. “Therefore, we’ll only point out the significance of the thorns.”

Growing serious again, he said, “These thorns symbolize that the journey you have chosen in a lifestyle not accepted by many will not be an easy one. But there is never an easy path in this life. There will be slings and arrows you will have to fight off—but you will be able to defend against them side by side because of the commitment you have made to one another tonight.”

When instructed by Gunnar, Roar picked up one of the lancets from the tray and asked for her left hand. The nondominant one, she thought, as she prepared for the finger stick. It was so much easier being on the other side of the lancet or needle.

“Look at me, Sprite.”

She did so and a sense of peace came over her as she smiled at him with confidence.

I trust you, Master Roar.

“Deep breath,” he commanded. As she inhaled, she felt a sting to her middle finger, but his firm hold on her kept her from jerking away. Gunnar held the red rose in front of her, and Roar guided her hand to hover above it as he squeezed two drops of blood onto the petals of the red rose.

Gunnar explained, “Sprite has shed two drops of her blood on Roar’s rose to signify the giving of herself completely to him—body and soul.”

Picking up the remaining lancet with her right hand, she then held her left one out between them, going a little off script but moved to do so both out of necessity to keep his hand still and a deep need to send him an important message from her heart.

“Sir, please rest your dominant hand palm up on the back of your submissive’s hand.” He quirked a brow, but placed his warm, tanned hand against the back of her pale one. “Remember always, Master Roar, that I am here to walk beside you and provide support to you for the rest of our journey here on this earth, and again when we are reunited in the afterlife.”

His smile melted her heart.

As quickly as he had done, she lanced him, returned the lancet to the tray, and took his bloodied finger to guide it over the top of the white rose Gunnar held out to them. She squeezed two drops of blood onto the petals of the bud.

Gunnar said, “In having his own blood fall onto Sprite’s rose, Dominant Roar shows his willingness to accept injury and even death in order to protect and defend Sprite. His second drop seals their unity.”

Grant extended a thin red ribbon to Gunnar, who addressed submissive and Dominant. “Press your middle fingers together.” The instant they touched, a jolt of pure energy washed through her.

Gunnar tied their fingers together before Sprite pressed her entire palm and other fingers against Roar’s. “By pressing your wounds together, you allow separate blood to mix as one, binding you as strongly as your own family bloodlines. Sprite and Dominant Roar, you are now and forevermore the same flesh and blood.”

When she saw a tear trickle down Roar’s cheek, she lost control of her own, but didn’t care. She could be weak as well as strong with him and still be loved.

“Continue facing one another,” Gunnar began, “and repeat the following vows in one voice.”

They spoke their closing vows one line at a time:

I will cherish your love today, tomorrow, and forever.

I will trust you, honor you, care for you, and protect you.

I will always be open and honest with you

and eternally grateful for your unconditional, accepting love.

I will laugh with you and cry with you.

I will love you and only you, faithfully.

Through the best and the worst,

the difficult and the easy,

whatever may come, I will always be beside you.

As I have given you my hand to hold,

I give you my life to keep.

Gunnar beamed as he announced, “Sprite—or Doctor Pamela Jeffrey, as you are known outside these walls—I am pleased to announce you are now and forevermore the collared submissive to Dominant Kristoffer Roar Larson.”

As he untied their fingers, Gunnar said, “Roar, Sprite awaits you to seal this union in one more symbolic way. No, wait! That comes later.” He grinned. “First, seal it with a kiss.”

As if needing no more encouragement, Roar closed the gap and pulled her into his arms. His hand automatically went to her hair and pulled her head back, thrilling her. She didn’t worry about what would happen with her updo. It would be coming down tonight anyway.

He ground his lips against hers in a show of dominance she melted into. Holding onto his shoulder blades as he deepened the kiss, she opened her mouth to welcome him.

The pop of a cork made her jump, and the kiss ended as Patrick poured champagne from a magnum of vintage Dom Perignon rosé. He handed each of them a flute before passing one to the others present.

Still in officiating mode, Gunnar proposed the first toast. “I’m a firm believer that we make our own destiny and that happily ever after takes work. You two worked hard to find a unique way to unite despite hardships. Kris, you above all know that life is fleeting. Pamela, your compassion has led you to seeing the horrors and suffering around us, too.” She wasn’t sure where this was going, but hoped he’d reach the blissful part soon. “My hope for you both is that you will seek out joy-filled moments every chance you get.”

They smiled that he’d managed to end on a high note and clinked glasses. Roar raised his flute next, first addressing those in the room. “Thank you all for helping make this evening one to be remembered by us for the rest of our lives. Thank you for your support, Gunnar, through the dark times. Thank you, Grant and Patrick, for your trustworthiness and willingness to stand up with us tonight.”

When he turned his attention to her, Pamela’s heart nearly burst with love. “Sprite, when I placed that collar around your neck, you became the first and foremost person in my life. Yes, I’ll continue to be her guardian and husband until her body leaves this world, but Tori is receiving excellent care and no longer needs me the way you do.”

He took a breath. “From this moment forward, my home, my heart, my life are centered around the two of us. I’ll do everything in my power to see that not a day, not a minute even, goes by that you aren’t aware of my love and protection.”

They intertwined their arms before drinking from their flutes, gazes locked along with hearts. “I love you, Master Roar.”

“I love you, too, Sprite.”

P
amela broke down the last of the boxes she’d unpacked and surveyed the kitchen of her dreams—stainless appliances, granite countertops, and a drop-dead gorgeous view of the Red Rocks Park over the double sink.

Their wine rack was filled with what remained of the last of the bottles they’d shipped home from their Sonoma trip this past summer. They wouldn’t be taking many trips like that for the next few decades while paying off this place, but she didn’t care. They’d splurge on one big trip a year and be content to spend the rest of their time here.

Hard to believe that a month ago she’d been collared, and here they were setting up their home. Their offer had been accepted two days after they’d put it in. Preparations for the collaring ceremony had kept her so busy, she hadn’t even worried.

The house had modern touches and rustic charm, suiting both their tastes. They’d been taking evening walks in the neighborhood this week after she returned from work. She was happy the bulk of unpacking for the living areas was almost finished. They still needed to shop for furniture in the spare bedrooms.

She hoped to entice her mom back to Colorado for a visit sometime, although she was a little worried that all Mom talked about anymore was Heidi’s school. Pamela hoped she wouldn’t do anything rash like sign on to teach there.

Tori’s parents would need a room, too, when they came for visits. She’d enjoyed their enthusiasm for life when she’d met them briefly. How heartbreaking the loss of their daughter must have been, but clearly, they loved Kristoffer and wanted him to move on. She’d been welcomed by them into the family.

Pamela had recently learned the hard way how important it was not to leave anything unsaid or broken. A little more than a week ago, while watching the news, she’d found out the trauma center she’d worked at in Kunduz had been bombed—barely a month after she’d left. She’d lost two close colleagues and dozens of others. When Kristoffer had heard her scream, he came running from his office at the condo to see what had happened. So senseless, but the incident brought home the fact that no one was safe in a volatile place like that. So many humanitarian aid workers and their patients at the trauma center wouldn’t be returning to their families.

Don’t think about that, or you’ll start crying again.

That weekend, they’d held each other even closer. He’d pointed out how it easily could have been her in the bombing if her assignment had been postponed one more month.

If she hadn’t already sworn off future trips with the medical and humanitarian group, this would have made her do so.

Fortunately, they’d begun moving in right after the incident. That activity and her busy work schedule had helped keep her mind off the tragedy except for times like this when it crept back in.

This house and land had already become their oasis from the world. They were content to stay home except when one or both had to go to work. Kristoffer hadn’t been called to Breckenridge all week and had done the bulk of the moving and unpacking, but he’d left the kitchen to her this weekend.

Outside, he’d set up a bench near the trickling waterfall. As soon as she came home and changed into more comfortable clothes, her assignment was to sit there and journal for half an hour. She was to write down anything she was still worried about that might encroach on their time together and then let those things go until the next day. The exercises provided her with a great deal of solace.

By then, she and Kristoffer were anxious to explore other means of stress relief. She smiled as her pulse quickened merely thinking about them. She had the feeling he was scouting every inch of their six secluded acres, as well as every corner of the house. Kristoffer had pointed out a tree this morning on their walk that was hidden away and butted up against the privacy fence where he wanted to tie her up and have his way with her. Her body tingled with excitement.

Plenty of room to raise a family, too, if they were lucky enough to have children. They’d been blessed with so much already and shouldn’t be greedy, but having his baby would be the ultimate gift. As they’d agreed to attempt a natural pregnancy for a year, at least they’d agreed adoption was a viable option as well. Perhaps an orphaned child from Afghanistan or that region. A back-up plan took some of the pressure and anxiety off her shoulders.

No matter whether she birthed naturally or they adopted, the important thing was that their children would have doting parents and an extended family on both sides that loved them. They would carry the Larson name, like Pamela would as soon as the court approved her recent petition for a legal name change. She smiled remembering when she’d announced her decision to Kristoffer over dinner. There weren’t many things that could leave him speechless, but that had.

Oddly enough, even without any baby Larsons, they already had a cradle. When Kristoffer had cleaned out his storage unit, the only piece of furniture he’d brought into their home was a cradle he’d inherited from FarFar. For now, it was tucked in a closet in a spare bedroom. She didn’t want to see the empty cradle again unless they knew they would be able to fill it.

Noma rubbed against her leg, and she bent down to lift the fat cat into her arms and rub under her jaw where she liked being petted. They had their spoiled furbaby. When the tabby meowed, she realized this wasn’t a call for affection but food, and placed a handful of the special dry cat food that the vet insisted on. She first sniffed the food cautiously and then the air with great disdain.

“Sorry, Noma, but until you lose some of that excess padding, that’s all you get to eat. Doctor’s orders.”

As happened at least a dozen times a day still, her fingers sought out her collar, which rested warm around her neck and left her with the now-familiar sense of belonging, trust, and love. Kristoffer had made her his in the most important way that mattered.

“Where do you want this?” Kristoffer, who had been in charge of unpacking the remaining boxes in the living room, carried in her mom’s housewarming gift that had been special delivered yesterday.

The fluid jade carving depicted a tall man staring lovingly into the eyes of a much shorter woman, his hands framing her face in an oh-so-dominant pose. Water lapped at their lower bodies—although Kristoffer first interpreted them as flames. When she mentioned it reminded her of a water sprite in the arms of her Viking lover, he conceded the point.