Rock Bay 2 - Letting Go (9 page)

the drama of a guy who’s just coming out, or not out, or in the closet for business. It’s just… too much. You, on the other hand, are holding your relationship hostage for some unknown reason. You want him back. He wants you back. You love him. Right?”

“Yeah. Listen, I gotta go. Are you coming up for the block party this weekend?”
Mason nodded to himself. “I told Amy I’d help her in the first aid booth. I’ll be around at least one of the days.”
“Cool. Maybe I’ll see you.”

“Call Tally.”
“Night, Mason.”
Lex hung up, and Mason dropped his phone to

the passenger seat with a sigh. It was different. Lex had to let Tally back in his life. Yeah, Tally had been with that Brock guy too, but giving some guy he didn’t even know a chance not to be a jerk, when he knew most guys were, was totally different than Lex forgiving the guy he was already hopelessly in love with.

Mason felt kinda weird in his apartment that night, the place where he always,
always
felt at home. He didn’t know what it was, but nothing was comfortable. Not his couch, or his usually awesome bed. Nothing seemed to fit. Mason didn’t have an explanation for his restlessness other than that conversation with Lex. It had made him think, about opportunities and the possibility of love. So he’d had a crappy relationship in Seattle. So Todd had been controlling. He was out of that situation. Maybe he was hurting himself by not even thinking about giving Drew a chance. Mason did the only thing he ever did when stuff was bothering him. He called Logan. It took Logan a few rings to get to the phone, but he made it eventually.

“Hey, ’sup?” Logan sounded out of breath. “Ummm, were you?” Mason didn’t finish the question. He realized he really didn’t want to know.

“No, asshole. I was on the treadmill. But I’ll be sure to call you next time Carrie and I are getting it on if you want to listen in.”

Mason coughed. “That’s okay. I can use my imagination. Or not. Sorry I interrupted your workout. I can call back.” He went to hang up.

“Dude!”

“Yeah?” He brought the phone back to his ear.
“I already turned all my shit off. What is it?”

“Well, shit.” Mason sighed. “Now I feel dumb. I don’t even know what it is, I’m just all weird today.”

“You’re so emo,” Logan teased.
“Fuck off.”
“Seriously. You unhappy? You want to come

home?”

Of course
. Mason had to smile at Logan’s tenacity on the coming home argument. “No, I’m good here. I just… well, there’s this guy who I thought I liked, then I sort of met him, and I thought he was probably a straight asshole, then I found out that was probably wrong too.”

“And?”
“And we have a mutual friend, but I just shot the guy down when—” Mason broke off. There really was no way of making it sound mature. “I just don’t want the drama, and this whole situation is sounding like drama.”
“Save the drama for your mama.” Logan snorted.
“Thanks. That was awesome. I should probably go.”
“Jesus, can’t you even take a joke? You
are
emo today. So what’s the deal? This guy is like some kind of pain in the ass, so you told his friend ‘thanks but no thanks’? Seems like the right thing to do if you ask me.”
“So how come I feel weird about it now?” “Starts with an
e
ends with
mo
.”
“Fuck off.”
Logan chuckled. “That’s two 'fuck offs’

today. What the hell. I usually only get those after a few beers.”

“I just feel all weird.”
“So talk to the guy?”

Mason sighed.
Maybe I am emo
. “I don’t know. Ugh. You know what? I think I’ll let you get back to your workout and just veg with some TV here for a minute.”

Logan chuckled. “Glad I could be of help. Give him your number. Or better yet, move home, and we can watch TV together every night.”

“When I’m not listening to you and Carrie getting it on in the next room all night?”

 

“Psshhh. Details.”

 

Chapter Seven

 

“I’
M NOT
an asshole, right? I mean, I know last
week and everything that happened don’t look so good. I just want a chance to get to know him.”

Mason stopped in his tracks around the corner from the nurses’ station. He’d only heard the voice once before, but it was
him
. Drew. Every cell on the surface of Mason’s skin remembered this guy, knew that voice.

“You’re not an asshole, hon. It just wasn’t the best of first impressions. You know that. Plus, you’re bi, and you’re not out. I know that would worry me if it was someone I liked.”

“I’m not asking for his hand in marriage, I just want a
chance
. One date.”

“I think you should back off.”
There goes Amy again. Momma bear.
“I don’t think Mason needs the drama of a guy who’s freaked out about who he is. I mean, yeah, you want him, but will you ever tell anyone?”

“I want to. I really do want to come out, I’m just—”

 

Amy shrugged. “You’re just what?”

Mason waited for a long moment. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to hear.
“I’m scared.” Drew’s voice was downtrodden. “I want to do it, get it over with, you know? I’m just a big fucking chicken.”
“Why? What’s the big deal?”

Mason couldn’t listen to any more. He was afraid of what he’d hear and annoyed as hell that he cared at all. Besides, he was lucky someone hadn’t already seen him snooping. He shuffled his folders as loudly as he could, backed up a few steps and came around the corner like he’d been walking full speed. Drew froze and stared, like Mason was some mythical creature that needed to be treated with the utmost wonder.

Those eyes kept staring, pale green and intense. Mason had to stare back at the eyes, the dimples, his hair that seemed to spike straight up no matter what Drew tried to make it to do, and the smile. Drew had the most
beautiful
smile.

“Hi,” Mason said quietly. He waved at Amy too, although he’d seen her a few times already that morning. There was something about Drew that made him do the dumbest things.

“Hi,” Drew said back. Mason didn’t remember feeling so awkward and tingly since junior high school. “Um, well, I need to get going. It was nice to see you, Amy. Mason.”

Drew cleared his throat and turned to go. He picked up his bag from the floor and knocked over the pile of folders that was on the corner of the counter. The folders slid down to the ground, and papers fluttered all over the place.

“Shit.” Drew leaned to pick up the papers at the same time Mason squatted down to do the same thing. They, of course, conked heads and ended up sprawled on their asses in the middle of the nurses’ station. Amy chuckled, other nurses stared, Mason felt like a moron. He scrambled to his knees and picked up the folders as fast as he could, shuffling papers into a pile to be sorted back into their correct folders at the earliest moment when hottie in the peacoat wasn’t there with his disconcerting gorgeous green eyes.

D
REW
walked away from the emergency room debacle muttering
moron
at himself. They’d exchanged a total of maybe five words with each other, ever, and he picked to say “hi” again?
Hi? Jesus Christ
. He nearly turned back, rejection, clumsiness, and all. He wanted to talk to Mason again, to hopefully burn another picture of himself in Mason’s brain that wasn’t Drew acting like a total idiot. He shook his head and passed through the glass doors to the outside. At that point, it would probably be better if he never saw Mason again. Seeing as though they had somehow managed to have the same friends, it didn’t seem likely.

Drew went home and changed into jeans and a comfortable T-shirt and hoodie. He slipped his feet into flip-flops and sank, with a sigh, onto his couch. What a day. What a couple of days. Sigh. He wondered about his harebrained scheme of getting Tally to warm Brock up for the big come out. Did he really think that shit was going to fly? Of course he did. Instead, he had nearly ruined Tally’s relationship—he refused to believe it was really over between the two of them—and made an ass out of himself. At the end of the whole thing, he was still in the closet, and nothing had changed. Except Tally probably hated him.

It was about time to fix that. Things hadn’t gone too badly with Lex, so maybe it would be okay. He already missed his newly formed friendship with Tally. They’d gotten along so well in the past weeks, Brock aside, and Drew didn’t want to lose it. Drew stood and grabbed his keys and his phone. He knew Lex was still up in his apartment, mostly recovered but resting for the block party the next day, which meant Tally was probably at the shop. Alone. That was exactly what Drew needed.

He was on his way there when he heard his name being shouted across the street.
Damn
.
“Hey, fucker. What’s up?” What, I’m interesting again, now that Tally’s a fag and out of the picture? God, I hate you.
“I’m going to get some coffee, then having an early night. It was a pretty long week.” Drew couldn’t believe he was actually talking to Brock. He wanted to punch the asshole right then and there. He looked away.

“You aren’t going to the Fairy Queen, are you?”
Drew shrugged. “They got the best coffee in town, and Tally is still my friend.”
Brock shook his head. “I should go get him like I got that other fag.” There was a round of congratulatory chuckling. Drew wanted to puke.

“That’s not cool, Brock. You could’ve caused permanent damage.”
“Would’ve been an improvement if you ask me.”
Asshole
. Drew so badly wanted to tell Brock exactly what he thought of him, but something held him back. Fear. Fear of being an outcast, of losing his business… of having people look at him the way he saw them look at Lex sometimes? Was it really that bad? No. It wasn’t.

“You know, Brock—”

“Blah, blah. Dude, you talk too much. We’re going to O’Toole’s. You down?”
Drew sighed. “Nope. Coffee. Home. Bed. That’s it for me tonight.”
“You’re still a loser.” Brock snorted and turned to head into O’Toole’s.

It didn’t escape Drew that Brock was free and hitting the bars with his pals just a few days after he’d assaulted someone with a glass bottle and knocked him unconscious. He’d heard around town that the whole thing was being regarded as a misunderstanding between Brock and Lex, at best, or silly boys brawling over nothing, at worst. Not a single person had called it for what it was. Assault. Plain and simple. It pissed Drew off more than anything. He wished he could do something about it.

Drew noticed his steps slowing as he reached the coffee shop. Yeah, he was nervous. What if Tally didn’t forgive him for getting involved in the Brock mess? What if Tally blamed him for breaking up the happy couple? Drew wouldn’t blame him for thinking either of those things. They were mostly true. He took a deep breath and pushed the glass door open. The bell rang, deceptively cheery, in the empty shop. Tally was behind the counter, cleaning up. He didn’t bother to look up, only called out that they were closed to get ready for the block party.

“Tal, it’s me.” Drew’s hands were shaking. It was the most nervous he could remember being for a long time.

Tally looked up at him, eyes measuring and quiet. Drew wanted to gag. He hated that about himself, how he always got so nauseous when he was nervous. “Hey, D.”

Drew didn’t know what happened after that. His mouth opened, and he was apologizing before he even knew what to say. Tally took it with his usual grace, admitting that he could’ve said no to Drew’s plan. Drew knew then and there that he had a real friend. He planned to be a real friend right back.

“Are you and Lex doing any better?” Drew knew the answer, probably even better than Tally did, but he wanted to test the waters. If he did anything for his friend, it would be to get the guy Tally loved back in his arms.

Tally shrugged. “He says hello. He asks about the shop. He told me he doesn’t need my help tomorrow.”

Ouch. What are you doing, Lex?
“Do you want me to say anything?”
Anything more.
Drew wasn’t quite ready to admit to Tally that he’d already been trying to get Lex to do something about how much he wanted Tally back.

Tally shook his head. Like Drew was going to listen. And then he asked about Brock. Looking back, Drew realized that was his mistake. Answering. He should’ve just grunted, said something noncommittal, not gotten Tally worked up. Instead he thought about Brock’s dumb face and got pissed.

“I can’t even look at him. What an asshole.”

That’s all it took. That and a few more sentences, and the next thing he knew, Drew was following Tally to O’Toole’s, trying to get Tally to see some sense. Going to kick Brock’s ass wouldn’t do any good. They might even get their own asses kicked in return.
Why did I tell Tally where Brock was? Why, why why?

Drew had to jog to keep up with Tally, who wasn’t much taller than him, but had anger fueling his steps. Drew was pissed at Brock, too, and the system that had him out drinking at O’Toole’s instead of in jail. He didn’t think getting in a fight over it was worth it, though. Then Tally could go to jail instead of Brock, not get off quite so easily, and then where the hell would he and Lex be?