Rock Bay 2 - Letting Go (25 page)

“It felt controlling.” Mason didn’t know anymore if he really felt like Drew had been controlling him or if he was living in the past.

“That was your problems speaking. Drew has never once tried to control you, and you know it.”

Guess Logan’s pretty sure which one it is. “Sure, he’s a little uptight, and he’s going to have to battle with his family for a while, but he’s

changed
his
whole life for
you
. Tell me that asshole Todd even changed a single thing.”

Mason shook his head. He didn’t even need to answer. They both knew that Todd would have never done anything to change.

“So Drew makes huge changes in his life to be with you, you love him, and he makes a couple dumb mistakes, one of which he didn’t know was a mistake because you never really told him about Todd, and now you’re going to end everything over it?”

When Logan put it that way, he did sound crazy. “I do love him, Loogs.”
He got another massive eye roll for that one. “I know you do, doofus. Your face looks about like his does when I’ve seen him at the coffee shop.”
“What should I do?”

Logan pushed him. “Go talk to him, dude! You have no idea how much you’re going to miss it. Miss him. Every day I wish I could have my relationship back. Every day. And not just with Carrie, but to have someone to kiss good morning, to hold, to cook for. It’s fucking lonely when you’re on your own. I don’t want it for me or for you.”

Mason leaned his head on Logan’s shoulder. “I feel so stupid. He’s going to think I’m an idiot after the big old fight that I caused. Maybe he could’ve been with a nurse, but he’s not going to want to mess with me if I’m a fucking lunatic.”

“Sure he is.” Logan chuckled. “He loves you just as much as you love him. Even if you’re a fucking lunatic.” Logan jumped off the couch and grabbed Mason’s car keys. “Go. Talk to him, kiss him into the ground. Or well….” Logan broke off. “Do whatever you need to do to get him back. Just don’t tell me about it, okay?”

Mason laughed and actually thought about going before he looked at the clock and realized it was too late. “It’s nine o’clock at night on a Monday. Just ’cause I don’t work tomorrow….”

“Who the hell cares? I’m telling you right now that Drew won’t. Go. Now. Go be in love.”

Mason stood, but waves of fear washed over him. He didn’t know what he’d do if Drew rejected him, and he had so many reasons to. Mason had acted like a moron, and Drew would have no way of understanding why. How could Drew understand when he’d never really told him about the past, just lashed out at him when it came to the surface?

“Let me go shower first. I look like the hospital threw up on me.”
Logan took a hold of his shoulders and steered him through the door. “No showers, no changing, no stalling. Go. See. Drew.”
By the time Logan was done talking, Mason was on the landing with the door to their apartment shutting in his face. Jesus, that was scary. He’d never been more scared. It had been hard to get away from Todd, but he’d been happy to do it, and before Todd, all he’d had was a series of good times with other club boys. Nothing like love. He’d never felt anything like he did when he was with Drew. Logan was right. Love was important. Even if Drew didn’t want him back, Mason owed him an explanation. Mason owed it to himself to explain to the guy he loved why he’d acted the way he did. He slid down the stairs on legs that felt like jelly. It had been a long time since anything had made him so nervous.

The drive to Rock Bay was excruciatingly long, but somehow too short at the same time. It always seemed to work that way. Mason drummed his fingers on his steering wheel, turned the radio off, on, then back off again when the DJ’s voice grated on his fragile nerves. He was both relieved and scared to find Drew’s car in its slot when he pulled up behind Drew’s building. Part of him had been hoping that Drew wasn’t there. He could’ve left a note… or run away, scared, and gone back home. But he wasn’t getting a reprieve.

The trip up the stairs was just like the car ride, both longer than hell and far too short. Next thing he knew, he was knocking on Drew’s door with a shaky fist. Better to get it over with. The door pulled open, and there was Drew on the other side in pajama bottoms and a T-shirt, hair disheveled, and those sexy glasses on.

“H-hi,” Mason started. He didn’t know what else to say.

 

“Hi.” Drew looked wary and worn out. “Do you want to come in?”

 

“Please.”

Drew stepped aside and made room for Mason to walk through the door. He had to brush against Drew to get in the house, though, and his smell, the warmth from his skin were enough to make Mason shiver in memory. He’d missed Drew so badly.

“What can I help you with?” Drew asked. His voice was a little cold, stiff. Sad.
Jesus, I hurt him.
Mason hadn’t really thought about that when he’d been having his righteous little fit.
“Drew. Shit.” He paused, unsure of how to continue. “I wanted to say I was sorry. I came here to apologize.”
“I’m sorry too,” Drew said. “It seems like we had two completely different ideas of what was going on between us. I wanted to build my life around you. It wasn’t just a bit of summer fun for me.”

Mason’s gut twisted at the idea of Drew sitting there for days, thinking Mason had just been playing around. He stepped forward to put his arms around Drew but Drew stepped back. Drew stepping away from him hurt like nothing he’d ever felt before.

“It wasn’t like that for me, either. I love you. I’ve never said that to anyone before. No one.” And he hadn’t. All those months and months with Todd and he’d never said it once. But it came easily with Drew. Drew was so easy to love. “I love you, okay? I’m sorry that I acted like an asshole. I’m sorry I didn’t come here sooner. I've missed you so much.”

“Mason….” It sounded like a rejection. And no matter how much he’d built that possibility up in his head, Mason couldn’t take a rejection. Not from Drew.

He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Drew’s waist. “I know I acted like a moron, and I’m sorry. So, so sorry. Someday soon I need to tell you about Todd, about my ex, then maybe how I acted will make at least a little bit of sense. But right now all that matters is how much I love you and how sorry I am. Please, babe.
Please
.” He squeezed tight, as tight as he could and laid his head on Drew’s shoulder. The smell, that wonderful familiar smell, made him shiver. It felt like years since he’d smelled it.

It was a long minute or so of squeezing and hoping and holding his breath, but slowly Drew’s arms crept around him as well. Mason was so relieved he wanted to cry. It wasn’t perfect yet, but Drew was willing to touch him.

“I love you too,” Drew admitted. That was enough to make a very relieved Mason burst into tears. “What? I’m not going to leave you. It’s okay.”

Mason snorted back unattractive tears. He couldn’t seem to stop more from coming. “I know, I was just so stupid… I thought you were going to say no.” He let Drew go to cover his face with his hands.
Stop crying, you moron.
Mason could almost hear Logan’s voice in his head. He sniffled loudly and tried to get control of himself.

“Okay?” Drew finally asked, when Mason’s breathing had calmed.

 

“Okay. Sorry, I just kinda freaked out there for a second.”

Drew chuckled and pulled Mason in toward his couch. They sat, arms around each other, and just held on. “You sure you’re going to be okay?”

Mason laughed quietly, still sniffing away old tears. “Yeah. I promise I’m not crazy.”
“And next time something happens that you don’t like, you’re going to tell me instead of breaking up with me?”
Mason squeezed him as tight as he could. “Yes. I promise I’m gonna try not to let my old stuff get into our relationship anymore. I can’t believe I did it in the first place. You’re nothing like my ex.
Nothing
.”

“Including rich. Logan told me a little about him. Said he was some bigwig surgeon. I’ll never have money like that.”

“Like I care. I want you just the way you are. Even if you hadn’t gotten some of your clients back, even if you were as broke as I am half the time, it doesn’t matter at all. I want
you.
”

“And I want you too. You know that, right? You know I was just trying to do what I thought you wanted?”

“Yeah. I do know that now. And I used to want to go to medical school, but I don’t anymore. Is that okay?”

“Of course.” Drew pulled him in as close as he could get and dropped a kiss on the crown of his head.

“So what now?” Mason had never done the big apology scene before. He had no idea how he and Drew just slipped back into the happiness they’d had all those weeks. Mason wanted that comfortable feeling back more than anything.

“So, I never ate dinner, and I’m starving. You want some pizza? I have one in the fridge I can warm up. I have a few new movies too.”

Thank you, babe.
Drew was going to let them go back to normal, no big talks, no mistrust. Mason knew they’d have to have the big talk about Todd sooner or later, but a night on the couch with pizza and a movie sounded like heaven after the week he’d been through.

“I’m pretty hungry too. Pizza sounds great.”

Mason looked at Drew, and Drew returned the look, and out of nowhere, they were both

laughing. Drew dragged Mason over his lap and rained his face with silly kisses, and they kissed and laughed and kissed some more until they were both out of breath and grinning at each other. As far as Mason was concerned, it was a perfect start to a real relationship.

Also from M.J. O’Shea’s ROCK BAY
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com
About the Author
M.J. O’S
HEA
grew up and still lives in sunny

Washington state, and while she loves to visit other places, she can’t imagine calling anywhere else home. M.J. spent her childhood writing stories. Sometime in her early teens, the stories turned to romance. Most of those stories were about her, her friends, and their favorite cute TV stars. She hopes she’s come a long way since then…
When M.J.’s not writing, she loves to play the piano and cook and paint pictures, and, of course, read. She likes sparkly girly girl things, owns at least twenty different colored headbands, and she has a little white dog with a ginger eye spot who sits with her when she writes. Sometimes her dog comes up with the best ideas for stories… when she’s not busy napping. She’s a relatively new author, but the great folks over at Jessewave.com named her as one of the new M/M authors who rock in 2010.

Visit M.J. at
http://www.mjoshearomance.com
or at her blogs,
http://mjoshea.com/
and
http://mjandpiper.blogspot.com
. E-mail her at [email protected] or follow her at Twitter.

From Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com
Table of Contents

Title page
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Also from M.J. O’Shea’s Rock Bay About the Author
From Piper Vaughn & M.J. O’Shea