Rock Stars Do It Forever (5 page)

“You aren’t—”

“
Don’t
, Chase.” She cut him off sharply, almost snapping. “I
was.
I fucked anything with a cock from the time I was sixteen, okay? Sure, I had fairly legitimate reasons. But that doesn’t change it. And I got good at pretending it didn’t bother me, to the point that I almost believed it. But I can’t pretend anymore. This doesn’t even really have anything to do with you. When I met you in Vegas, Anna had dared me to go celibate for two months. The dare was no physical male contact. No kissing, nothing. I couldn’t even go a day. I kissed you. Then I went home and did okay for a while, but then I got drunk and…well, bad things happened that I don’t want to go into with you just yet.”

“Jamie—”

“Shut up and let me answer the question.”

“’Kay.”

“I pretended a lot of things. I pretended I wasn’t in love with you. I pretended I was okay without you, that this between us wasn’t the most powerful thing I’d ever felt. And now…I can’t pretend. I just want the truth out there, good or bad.”

“So what is the truth for you?”

“I want you. Even still, in the middle of this whole heavy conversation, I can’t stop wanting you. I’m partially wishing I could let myself just stop talking and get you hard and take you. Ride you. Suck you off again. Let you do whatever you want to me. But…I can’t push away the truth that this thing between us is still impossible.”

“It’s not impossible. It’s just complicated.”

Jamie laughed. “It’s impossible, baby. It is. We were both broken up with less than twelve hours ago. I have no clothes but the ones on the floor over there. Everything else is back in Ian’s condo, including my car. I may be with you, now and in the future, but I still have to deal with Ian. I kind of ran out on him. What if he changes his mind and tries to tell me he wants to get back together, give it another shot? I wouldn’t do it whether I was with you or not, because my thing with Ian was nothing but a distraction from how I really felt. I knew that from the beginning, but that was another one of those truths I pretended not to care about.”

“I like it when you call me ‘baby.’” Chase rubbed her knuckle with a thumb. “I know what you mean, though. My thing with Tess isn’t as complicated to untangle, but it’s still there. She has a few things at my place back in Detroit, but that’s easy enough to take care of. My cousin can send them to Tess. The emotional thing is harder. I know…I know it’s hard. I know it’s tangled up and fucked up and complicated. But it’s not impossible. We just…we have to be honest and take things one step at a time.”

Jamie sighed. “Yeah. But none of this answers the original question. What do we do now? Is it wrong for us to be together like this so soon?”

“Wrong?” Chase shook his head. “Being with you can never be wrong, if you ask me.
Not
being with you would be wrong. Maybe we just stay like this tonight, just…sleep. Hold each other. Cuddle and shit.”
 

 
Jamie giggled. “You’re funny.”

“What?” Chase sounded confused. “How am I funny?”

She shook her head, giggling into his chest again, helplessly lost in laughter. “Just the way you said that.” She made her voice gruff and growly, at the bottom of her register, chin tucked against her breastbone. “‘Cuddle and shit.’ Like it would make you less manly to suggest we cuddle. It was just funny to me for some reason.”

“Guys aren’t supposed to want to cuddle. It’s not a manly word.”

Jamie laughed even harder at that. “Call it something else if you want, but you
like
this. Holding me. Not having sex or foreplay or anything. Just…being together.”

Chase turned his face to her hair, breathed deeply, clutching her against him. “Yes, Jay. I like it. I love it. Call it cuddling if you want. I’m secure in my manhood. Just don’t tell the guys I wanted to cuddle. Especially
before
sex.”

Jamie huffed, not laughing anymore. She turned her face up to meet his gaze. “I won’t tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me.”
 

His eyes bored into hers, and she felt warmth running from her cheeks down to her chest, filling her stomach with tingling anticipation. Their fingers were still twined together on Chase’s torso, his arm around her shoulders, but suddenly Jamie was much more aware of his body, of his desire, of her own need. She felt mercurial, being a raging tempest of desire one moment, then an emotional mess the next, and then back to wanting his body again, all within a matter of twenty minutes.
 

“I’m sorry I’m so back and forth on you,” she said.

Chase smiled at her, the kind of smirk that said he thought she was being ridiculous. “We’re both back and forth. That conversation wasn’t just you. I was thinking the same thing. You were just more willing to say it out loud than I was.”

“I still don’t know exactly what we should do.”

“
Should
do, or want to do?” Chase asked. “They’re very different things in this case, I think.”
 

“And that’s where my confusion comes from.” Jamie untangled her fingers from his and let her hand roam over his chest, her eyes fixed on his chiseled, beautiful face.

Chase put his finger to her chin and tipped her mouth to his for a soft, chaste kiss. “My desire for you isn’t going anywhere.
I’m
not going anywhere. We don’t have to do anything right now. We can just
cuddle
.” He grinned as he said it, tangling his fingers in her hair, cupping the side of her face.
 

Jamie twisted in his arms slightly so she was pressed against him. “Maybe we could just kiss a little bit. Make out like we’re teenagers.”

Chase smiled at her again, an indulgent, knowing smile. “Yeah. That sounds good. Just kiss.”

He pulled her face closer to his, their lips brushing but not meeting. Jamie moved to close in for the kiss, but he darted back out of reach, then brushed her lips with his again, his hand in her hair, eyes open and searching her face. She tried to kiss him a second time, and he evaded it again, this time touching her upper lip with his mouth, then her cheek. Jamie caught on to the game, grazing his lips with hers, waiting, waiting, and then when he moved to kiss her chin, she intercepted him, crushing her mouth to his and claiming
 
it, curling her hand around his head and holding him in place, stealing the kiss.
 

Chase sighed through his nose, softening into the kiss. Jamie smirked and pulled away, turning his game back on him. She touched her lips to the corner of his mouth, dipped her tongue against his lips, then darted away to hover near his mouth once more. He laughed and slid the arm that had been wrapped around her shoulders lower down, curling around her waist. Jamie unconsciously arched into his hold, turning more fully onto her stomach atop him, her weight more than half on his chest, the sheet tangled between them, a thin barrier between their skin.
 

Jamie shifted, pushing the sheet away so they were skin to skin, her left arm underneath her to support her weight. The fingers of her right hand skated over his bald scalp, down to cup his cheek as she moved in for a kiss, no games now in this one, only full passion, unrestrained. She slid her leg over his, toes digging into the mattress between his feet, shoving herself forward so she was directly above him, hips to hips, face to face.
 

The kiss opened up, heat breathing between them, igniting each of their desires. Jamie felt Chase’s need in his kiss, felt it in the way his mouth moved hungrily on hers, in the way his tongue speared into her mouth to taste her tongue, trace her lips and her teeth. Jamie’s heart began to thunder in her chest once more, the same lightning excitement at his touch thrilling through her body. His hand on her waist thrilled her, excited her. The prospect of his palm drifting down to clutch her ass excited her. His cock hardening between their bodies excited her. She needed this. She wanted it. She couldn’t go another minute without it.

The issues remained, but when he kissed her like this, so raw, so full of vulnerable hunger…nothing else mattered. She could give in to this now, or later. The hunger wouldn’t change. It would only increase. She’d been starved for this her whole life.
 

Jamie felt the truth in that thought and accepted it. She had been waiting for Chase all her life. She might not have known it, but the way he kissed her, held her, spoke to her…he was the thing that had always been missing, the element she had been searching for in all those other men, those other boys. Those
guys
. Chase was a
man.
He wasn’t just a guy. Jamie wasn’t sure what defined the difference, but she knew it was there, saw it and felt it. Chase was so much
more
than those other guys in her past had ever been.
 

He saw her, saw into her heart and her soul and her mind and knew her, completely. He might not have known the details of her life, but he knew
her
.
 

All this, in the space of a kiss.

Jamie pulled away and saw the fire in Chase’s eyes, felt it in the way his hands curled on her stomach. He was waiting for her to tell him what she wanted. She couldn’t speak, finding her words buried under a wave of need, a wildfire of hunger. She could only kiss him again, dipping down to touch her lips to his with aching, deliberate gentility, putting all of her heart into the contact of mouths. She felt her hair fall down around their faces, red curls framing their faces, curtaining them off from everything else.
 

She felt Chase’s hands rest on her waist, both of them now, holding her sides, fingers splayed to touch her ribs. He hesitantly, almost gingerly, smoothed his palms down to hold her ass, cupping and caressing. She arched her back, gasping into the kiss, loving that single intimate gesture with all of her soul and body in that moment. Chase captured her gasped breath with his mouth, touching her tongue with his, inviting her passion to higher peaks.
 

Jamie responded by shifting her weight to fully straddle him, her thighs on either side of his waist, forearms on the pillow next to his face. She felt the broad soft tip of his cock touch her inner thigh, and was filled in that single instant of touch with an inferno of want, flooding her belly with clenches of desire, her slit with slicking juices. She was wet immediately, and she let her thighs split farther apart, spreading her nether lips wider. Without breaking the kiss, Jamie slid down his body until the crown of his cock was nudging her entrance. Chase groaned and swiveled his hips into hers, mouth stretching open, breaking the kiss. He let out a long, deep, rumbling moan when she rolled her hips up to work his tip inside her.
 

He didn’t move to thrust in, though. She felt him stretch out his arm, grab the box from beside them, shred it open, and fumble a string of condoms out, rip one free. Jamie moaned into his mouth, then kissed his jaw, his chin, his shoulder, his throat. She couldn’t help herself. She writhed her hips, wanting so desperately to drive him deeper into her, but knowing she had to wait.
 

He moved his hips down and rolled the latex over himself. Jamie rose up on her elbows, moving so he was poised at her slit once more.
 

She met his dark, hooded gaze. “Please? Now?” Her plea was breathy and desperate, and she didn’t care.

“Yes, god, yes, now.” He took her by the hips, hands holding her tight and pushing her down.
 

Jamie buried her face in the hollow of his neck, exhaled, and impaled him inside her. “Oh…my…
god.
” Jamie heard the words escape from her as a sob of raw ecstasy.
 

She couldn’t take him in all the way. Not yet. She wanted to savor every second, every inch. She only slid him in to the groove beneath his crown, then stopped, panting. He stretched her, filled her. She bit his neck, arms wrapped beneath his head in an embrace, knees drawn up to spread herself wide.
 

“God…god
damn
, Jay. You feel so—so perfect. So incredible.” Chase’s voice was just as ragged as she felt, shredded by the potency of fulfillment after so long a denial.
 

At the sound of the nickname, Jamie clung to him even more tightly, then drew in a deep breath. She paused, breath held at the apex, torso stretched taut, hips drawn up…then exhaled once more and sank down onto him, slowly sliding his huge, incredible, soft yet iron-hard cock into her all the way, stretching her body down his until he was buried in her softness to the root, until they were joined fully.

“
Jamie…
” Her name emerged from his lips in a shuddering gasp, his head lifting from the pillow in a gesture of helpless intensity.

Then he thrust, once, slowly, and Jamie came. Without warning, without a breath to prepare, just a sudden tidal wave of clenching, ripping, juddering orgasm. Jamie sobbed into his shoulder and rode it out, rolling her hips on him.
 

“Yes, Jay, yes. Come for me.” Chase whispered the words into her ear, breathed them so softly she might have imagined them.

But Jamie heard his words, and now she couldn’t help but come even harder, lifting and lowering herself onto him in rhythmless abandon, sucking in deep, sobbing breaths and letting them out as high cries of climactic delight.
 

Chase fluttered his hips, rolling in and out in small thrusts, grunting as her inner muscles clamped down on his cock. Jamie felt herself clenching, every muscle contracting, especially her inner walls squeezing him mercilessly.
 

When Jamie went limp as the waves subsided, Chase rolled them over so he was on top. Jamie splayed her hands on his back, rubbed them up his neck to cup the back of his head, pulling his mouth down to her breast. He suckled her nipple and thrust into her, slowly and sinuously, one hand supporting his weight, the other fondling her breast.
 

“God, Chase. More.” She arched her spine, shoving her breasts into his touch, lifting her hips to meet his in a steady rhythm. Jamie clawed her fingernails down his back lightly, then clutched his ass and pulled him against her. “I need more, Chase. More. Harder.”