ROMANCE: Bear Naked Passion (Billionaire Bear Trio Book 2) (64 page)

Chapter 2

Summoned by my father, I walked into my apartment and started to sort out the boxes in their proper rooms. There was already furniture but it didn't feel homely yet. The lounge was smaller than I remembered from when I last viewed the place, but the bedroom was bigger so that was an even trade-off.

“You really should look into getting rid of some of these books,” my father said, bending over to slide the box across the room towards me. “Are you ever going to read any of these again?”

“I don't know, but I like having the option,” I said as I started to pick them out and slide them into the shelves.

“I feel like I'm ready for a nap,” mom said as she came in. She walked to the kitchen and set the plates and cutlery down, and then I heard the tap running. She came out and placed a glass of cold water in my hands. Sometimes I really love my mom. She tried the same thing with dad but he took it and set it aside. It wouldn't get drunk.

“Well, this is all rather lovely,” mom said in a lilting tone. I knew she didn't mean it, but I appreciated the lie. Of course this apartment wasn't as nice as my parents' house but it was
mine
and it represented the fact that I was an adult. After we sorted out the boxes I joined mom on the sofa while dad took the armchair. I've only ever known dads to sit in armchairs. Maybe it's because it resembles a throne. There was an awkward silence hanging between us, probably because I could tell that mom wanted to drag out the goodbye as long as possible. I knew that I was about to be submerged in idle chatter and I groaned inwardly, but I tried to remember that they were about to leave their only daughter in the big city and it was probably as scary for them as it was for me.

“You know you can call us whenever you like, and if you want to visit all you have to do is get on a bus.”

“I know mom.”

“And if you ever need any food I can arrange to have some sent to you.”

“Mom, I'll be fine, I know what I'm doing.”

“I know you do darling but I'm just saying that even though you're in the city you don't have to forget about us.”

“Mom...”

“Stop fussing over the girl,” my father interjected, “she'll be fine, and she's not that far away if we ever need to see her.  But this will be good for you, Tammy. I want you to know that I’m proud of you for taking this step. Too many of your generation are willing to live out of their parents' back pockets but I know you'll be a success here.”

“And will you have enough money to go on?” mom added, totally ignoring my father's request.

“Yes, Mom, and I'm going to pay you back everything you've loaned to me. I already have some interviews lined up and I'm sure I'll be able to find some work as a waitress to tide me over if I need it,” I said. Lines of worry creased mom's face.

“Mom, really, I'll be fine. This is a good thing,” I said, and tried to give her the most reassuring smile I could. I'm not sure if it helped.

They stayed for a while longer and offered to help me sort my things out but I told them that I wanted to get a shower and then settle into my new place by myself. The truth is that I just didn't want to have to sit through forced conversation. We'd exhausted every topic and we had already talked about what I was going to do in the city for the previous few weeks. I did ask them if they wanted another drink because I knew that it was a long drive back, and just before he left dad did eventually drink his water but they knew that they should leave me, and so it was finally time to say goodbye. 

I didn't really know what I should be feeling, after all I was going to see them again, and yet mom was so sad that I felt bad that I wasn't as sad as her. Time seemed to slow as her bottom lip trembled, her eyes became glassy, and then a choking sputter came out as she started crying. She flung her arms around me, so tight that I thought she would never let go, and all I could do was hold her. 

“I'm sorry, I just hate saying goodbye to my little girl,” she said, among sobs and sniffles. I looked at dad over her shoulder and he shrugged his shoulders. He walked up to us and joined in the hug, enveloping the two women in his life in his strong arms. I imagined that when he had married Mom and when I was born, he had made a vow to protect us from harm. He'd done a pretty good job, although there were just some things that he wasn't able to protect me from. The world was a big place filled with mean, nasty creatures, but I wanted him to feel like his princess was still safe.

Chapter 3

I shut the door and heard their footsteps echo back, until they faded away. When I turned around I looked at my new home and it suddenly dawned on my how alone I was. I walked the length of the lounge and looked out of the window. I pressed my hand to the glass and dragged my fingers down, looking out at the city. I could only peer through the apartment blocks next to me, and beyond those were more tall buildings. Lines of traffic snaked along the road, and above them all was the sky, in which the clouds seemed to be whizzing by at a hundred miles an hour, and all of a sudden I felt very small, as though I didn't matter at all. There were a million souls in the city and I was just one of them, like a drop in the ocean, and no one in the city knew me at all.

Home was the kind of town where everybody knew everyone's business and it was stifling, but as I continued to unpack I realized how sad I was that I wasn't going to be able to hang out with the girls again. They all said that they were going to come and visit but I wasn't sure if they actually would. When I needed a break I called up Britney, and smiled when I heard her chirpy voice answer the phone.

“Hey! How's the big city?” she asked.

“Oh, it's alright, I'm still unpacking and I'm aching all over,” I replied, reclining on the lounge, looking up at the ceiling and realizing that it looked grotty.

“Yeah but once you get everything sorted it'll all be worth it. Are you parents still there?”

“No, they left a little while ago.”

“I bet your mom was a wreck.”

“Totally, I'm surprised she held it together for as long as she did. I hope she's going to be okay.”

“I can pop in on her tomorrow if you like, just let her know that we talked?”

“Yeah that would be cool, probably set her mind at rest. I think she thinks that I'm in danger here, like I'm going to be robbed or something.”

“Nah you're badass, you can handle anything,” she said, and we both laughed. There was a moment's silence as the laughter faded away, and we could both feel the seconds ticking by.

“So I heard that Mandy hooked up with Cody last night,” she finally said. My breath caught in my throat but I tried not to give any hint of the tension I was feeling. “I just thought you should know since you and he...well, you had something going on, didn't you?” she added when I didn't reply.

“No, not really, we just flirted a bit that's all. Nothing happened between us.” As I lied painful images of the past flashed in my minds. Of his hands over me, sliding up my thigh, his wet lips whispering in my ear that I wanted it. That I wanted him. The heat and strength of his body next to mine in his car and my eyes turning away to look at the moon, tears in my eyes as I struggled to push him away but all he did was put his hand on his crotch and I felt the hard rod that he wanted me to feel and I felt sick inside and I wondered if I would always feel sick inside.

“I thought you two went up to the creek together? That's what Zooey said.”

“Well Zooey doesn't know what she's on about,” I said bluntly. I sighed and softened my tone, “look, I'm sorry, I'm just really tired and I still have a lot to do.”

“Yeah, it's cool, I'll let you get on. It was good to hear from you. Don't be a stranger, yeah?”

“I'll call you again soon, say hi to everyone for me.”

“Will do. Bye Tammy.”

“Bye.”

And that all seemed rather final.

After I finished talking with her I got back down on my knees and unpacked things from the box again, ignoring the sweat that had caked over my body. I tried not to think about home but it was all I could think about and I realized how little I cared about what was going on. All that small-town gossip meant little to me and I knew in that moment that I was a changed person.

When I finally got in the shower it was far later than I had imagined and all I wanted to do was sleep but I knew that I had to wash all the grime off me. I tossed the shirt into the bin rather than the laundry basket. The water sputtered out at first and I groaned, fearing the worst, but it soon flowed freely and steam filled the room. I always liked my showers hot, especially when I had been working hard. I slipped out of the rest of my clothes and let the water bite my skin as I climbed in, closing my eyes and surrendering myself to the heat.

I squeezed some gel onto the palm of my hand and started to rub it into my body, softly at first, but then I thought back to the conversation with Britney and then all the memories came flooding back again and I started to rub myself more vigorously, wondering if I would ever feel clean again. I remembered his aftershave and the way it had filled my senses, how the leather seat creaked under my weight as he fumbled and groped my breasts. I remembered the wild look in his eyes as he enjoyed the fear and panic and the control and it was strange because I didn't even think of myself in that moment, rather I thought of every other girl he had taken up to the creek and done that to. 

I stayed in the shower for a long time, just letting the water flow down my body, feeling its warmth like a cocoon, breathing heavily, almost trying to melt into the water and swirl around the sinkhole until I disappeared as well. But then I turned the shower off and there was silence all around me. I dried myself in silence, and then walked through to the lounge again. I picked up a book and turned the crisp pages until nothing went in anymore, and then I crawled into bed and closed my eyes. Far away I could hear my mom and dad going to bed at the same time as always, cuddling up together. I wondered if they had gone to my room and looked at it, and regretted not having another child because their only one had left them. Then I turned and buried my head in the pillow as I heard the endless traffic outside. My aching body sighed as it rested, and I drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 4

The first couple of weeks of my new life didn't go as well as I had planned. One of my interviews was canceled with no explanation, although I surmised that they had filled the position already, which struck me as unfair as surely everyone who was invited to interview should have that, right? I could have blown them away...

My other two interviews didn't go well at all. I was nervous. In one of them I was thirsty but declined their offer of water because I'm an idiot so my voice was cracking, and they interpreted that as nerves, which only made me more nervous. The other one was tanked from the very beginning as I called the guy by the wrong name, and I never recovered from that. But thankfully small diners always seem in need of waitresses so I got a job on the corner, although I quickly grew to hate it. I've never been good around people and to talk to everyone as though they're a friend is a skill I've long envied. A couple of the waitresses have it. They can make people fall in love with them at one look, and the size of their tips shows how much better they are at that then me.

I just take everyone at face value, and after what happened with Cody I feel paranoid whenever a man looks at me. Especially in the outfit they have me wearing, a garish top that's so low cut I'm afraid I'm going to spill out every time I lean over. I talked to some of the others about it but they just shrugged their shoulders and said that it helped them get more tips.  Being ogled for a living was never the dream and I want to get out of their as quickly as possible, but I need the money and it was only then that I appreciated what my parents did for me. While the freedom and the independence was great the bills and rent were not, neither was the paltry amount I had budgeted for food and soon after my sixth night of pasta and meatballs I was ready to run back home for a taste of mom's food.

But she never gave me a chance to miss her because she called every night, and I pretended that the situation was better than it actually was because I didn't want her to worry, but I had to resist when she asked to come and visit because I still wanted more space between me and that place. She told me that Britney had gone round, and indeed had been around there a fair bit. Seemed like she was becoming a surrogate daughter for them. I murmured as she told me, pretending that I already knew, but the truth was that me and Britney hadn't spoken at all. In fact I hadn't spoken from anyone at home other than my parents, and it's sad to admit but I didn't miss my old friends at all. For a time they were my whole world and we all promised that we'd be friends forever. I remember when we even made ourselves friendship bracelets, but mine must have been lost in the move.

It was sad in a way but I felt like I had moved on, and while in the city I was being reborn so my old life was no longer the life for me. But I still wasn't happy and much of it was due to the fact that my days were becoming endless and repetitive. I went to work and then came home to eat a lonely meal, and then I read a little or watched some TV. It was good to enjoy my own space for a little while but I missed the sounds of other people moving about. Above and below me I occasionally heard the sounds of people walking and I wished that I had the gumption to go and introduce myself to them but anytime I tried there was a barrier in my mind, and I ended up staying in my fortress of solitude.

Since I was sick of the food I was eating I decided to push the boat out and try and make something decent. I pored through a recipe book that mom had bequeathed to me and found a simple recipe that I could make with the ingredients I had, so I started peeling and chopping and mixing only to realize that I didn't have any salt. I looked down at the mess in front of me and knew that I had to either go and get some or toss everything away, but I looked outside at the rain and didn't fancy getting wet just for salt. The only thing to do was to finally introduce myself to my neighbors.

I stepped out of my door and left it on the latch, then knocked on the next door. I waited patiently, and knocked again, but there was no answer. I walked to the next door and the anxiety swelled up inside me, clawing at my soul, making it more difficult for me to bring my knuckles down against the door, but I did, and I almost wished that nobody would open up.

But someone did.

You ever see someone that you can't quite believe exists? Like they've been sculpted perfectly and they belong in Plato's world of forms rather than down here among us mortals. The door opened to reveal a raven-haired beauty with tanned skin and a wide, white-toothed smile. She was taller than me and had a slender frame with curves in all the right places, and she wore a tank top, which cupped her large breasts comfortably.

“Hey! What can I do you for?” she asked, leaning nonchalantly against the frame of the door, one long arm stretched up. I stammered a little, almost unsure of how to react in the presence of such a good-looking woman. Her eyes were wide and blue, her lips were full, and her long hair flowed down past her shoulders and rested against the curves of her chest. My eyes flicked down and then I felt ashamed at checking her out so I raised them to her eyes, and they were daunting. The whole universe was contained within them. They were so pure, so beautiful that it was like I had never seen another pair of eyes before, and the feelings erupting inside me were so intense that I could only look directly at her for a few moments, as though I was looking at the sun.

“I, um, hi, yeah, I just moved in next door and I'm trying to cook but I just realized that I have no salt, do you have any that I could borrow?”

“Sure thing, come on in, can I fix you a drink? I'm Lauren by the way,” she said, shaking my hand as I entered her apartment. I introduced myself in return, clasping the hand she offered. Her palm was warm and soft and it was like I was entering a whole new world. Where my apartment was stuffy and grimy hers was light and breezy.  Candles were flickering and the scent of lavender filled the room. Notepads were open on the couch, although I couldn't see what was being written. The door to the bedroom was open and I glanced in to see a neatly-made bed with white and pink sheets and a teddy bear. I kinda liked the fact that she still slept with a teddy bear. I got the impression that she was one of those people who still had an inner child.

I was afraid that mine had died.

She opened some cupboards. When she reached up her top revealed her skin and tattoos of stars weaving around her slender waist, and when she bent down her peach of an ass stared straight at me.

“I'm always forgetting where I put things,” she said, before turning and handing me the salt.

“Thanks,” I said.

“No problem, so where did you move from?” she asked. I told her, and hoped that I wasn't coming across as rude. I had this thing that whenever anybody tried to talk to me I gave short and blunt answers, even if I was interested in talking to them, although it didn't seem to faze Lauren and she carried on talking as though we were old friends. She would have made a good waitress.

“I'd always love to live in a town like that! How are you finding it so far in the big city?”

“It's okay, not exactly as I expected. I never realized how lonely it could seem,” I said, and I wasn't sure why I was being so honest with her but it felt like if I was going to tell anyone the truth it was going to be her. If you've ever met anyone who can seem like they gaze into your soul then you know what I'm talking about. There was no point having secrets from her because she knew everything about me already. She pouted and stroked my arm.

“That's a shame, well, feel free to pop over here anytime. Most of my nights are pretty boring so I could use the company, and between you and me everyone else on the floor is pretty weird,” when she said this she leaned in, put her hand over her mouth, and lowered her voice making it a secret that we shared. All of a sudden we were bonded by the shared burden of a secret.

“I'll keep that in mind, thank you, anyway, I'd better get back and get this salt in the pot,” I said, not wanting to leave her, but I had this strange fear that if I stayed then I would say something that would have ruined things. She looked disappointed, and I wondered if leaving was a mistake, but then she smiled brightly again and I wondered if anything could ever dent her spirits. We left with the promise that we would hang out soon, and unlike the goodbyes with my friends back home this didn't seem like a hollow agreement. But then, just before the door shut, a powerful need surged through me and I found myself possessed.

“You know, I've probably made more than enough for just one person, do you fancy coming over for dinner? I can't promise gourmet cooking...”

“I'd love to! Give me about half an hour to change into something more presentable and I'll come over,” she said, and my heart was racing.