Romance: The Second Chance - Contemporary Romance (Romance, Contemporary Romance, Suspense Romance Book 1) (14 page)

             
A
hand shook her shoulder. It shook her gently out of sleep, back to reality; Abby opened her eyes.
Where am I?

Then it all came back to her. Melody. The heart attack. The hospital. Eli.

             
Eli...
She missed him. They’d been apart for less than a day and she missed him. Longed for him. She needed
his comfort now more than ever, but he was gone. And she’d sent him away. A coil of lead guilt dug a pit in her stomach, but she wasn’t ready to see him again. Anyway, she wasn’t sure her emotions were playing tricks with her again, trying to distract her from what
really
mattered.

              A brown cup plunked down in front of her face, and she instinctively reached for it.

             
Ouch!

              “Sorry,” Molly said. “I forgot to ask for sleeves.”

              Abby slurped the coffee as quickly as she could without burning herself. It trickled down her throat, warming her, really waking her up.

              “It's alright,” she said. “Thanks.”

              Molly walked around to the empty chair on the other side of the bed. The same chair Eli had sat in. “How’s she doin?”

              Abby… didn't know. Who knew how long she’d been asleep for. Frantically, she checked the now familiar screens and monitors, but quickly settled when she saw everything was fine. “Fine,” she managed. It was all she could say.

              “Well that's great then! Isn't it?”

              “What?”

              “It's been more than 48 hours.” Molly checked her watch. “Looks like it's been 56 or so by my estimation. Didn't the doctors say that the next 48 were the most critical? She’s going to be okay.”

              Abby blinked. And then it registered.
She’s right.
Yes, 48 hours. The doctors said 48 hours!
“What time is it exactly?”

              Molly glanced down at her watch again. “8:07 AM.”

              A huge smile came over Abby’s face, and then, without warning, tears. Exhausted, she slumped back into her chair and closed her eyes in relief.
Thank you. Thank you.

              “You okay Abby?” Molly asked. “Maybe you should get some sleep?”

              “Sleep? No, didn't you see? I just
did
sleep. No, I can't sleep now.”

              “Well, you have to get out of here. Go outside. Get some fresh air at
least
.”

              “No really I'm—”

              “I won't take no for an answer. Melody’s going to be okay. You can take a break now.  Come on.” Melody pulled Abby to her feet. Though she really didn't want to leave, it felt good knowing she had a friend who cared so much for her. Cared enough to bring her coffee, and show up when she needed her without even being asked.

              Abby went reluctantly, giving in to Molly's greater will. “Just let me check with the doctors on the way out.”

Molly raised an eyebrow.

“I'm not backing out, I promise. I just want to see what they have to say. See if anything's changed now that she's made it past ‘critical’.” They made their way to main doctors counter in the hospital wing, and asked for an update for Melody.

              They sat in plastic chairs as they waited, and only then did Abby realize how sore her back was from all that sitting and awkward sleeping.

              When Melody’s doctor arrived, and they both stood to hear the news.

              “Well, as we said before, the previous 48 hours were going to tell us a lot. Mainly being whether or not the heart was going to give up or fight to recover. I’ll be frank. We didn’t expect Melody to make it as long as she has. Usually when a heart is stressed like this at such an advanced age, it simply gives up. But Melody’s a fighter. We aren't out of the woods yet, but her chances of recovery are
significantly
higher now than they were when she first arrived, and excluding complications, I’d be willing to bet that she’ll be able to go home in the next week or so.”

              Molly screamed, delighted, something unintelligible that nonetheless got the whole room’s attention. Abby, on the other hand, was just trying to take it in, and thanked the doctor profusely for his dedication and effort. He smiled, and said it wasn't just him, but all of the nurses and staff working together. Then he congratulated them, said goodbye, and headed off down the corridor.

              “You hear that?” Molly said, grinning. “She's gonna be okay.”

              The room was spinning; words echoed in Abby’s ears. But once the words got through to her she finally understood them.

             
She's gonna be okay.

~*~

              The next few days didn’t change much for Abby. She still spent most of her time at the hospital next to Melody, although her grandmother had woken up, and was talking a bit. Mostly Melody was sleeping. She hadn’t talked to Eli since she’d yelled at him to leave. Hadn’t even made an effort to see him. When she thought of him a hopeless emptiness consumed her, and soon she couldn’t think of him at all; it was too painful, and she still wasn’t sure how to proceed.

              Anyway, she had Molly. Loyal Molly. She was there night and day, caring for Abby as much as she was caring for Melody. And asking about Eli.

              “You ever going to try and make up with him?” Molly asked.

              “I don't know.”

              “Well you should. You two were made for each other. I... I never told you this, but I was actually jealous of you two.”

Abby looked at her, surprised.

              “Not like I wanted Eli for myself or anything, just like... I don't know. Your love for each other, I guess.” Molly said as she had twiddled her thumbs. “I guess I always hoped someone would one day look at me like that. The way Eli looks at you.”

She couldn’t listen to this. It hurt too much. But Molly continued. “To look at someone the way that you look at him....” Abby’s head swung around again, and Molly met her eyes. “You can't hide it from me, Abby. I see it. You love him, and he loves you. That's something special. I’d hate for you guys to waste it.”

              Abby let out a deep breath. Trying to clear her thoughts and make sense of what her friend was saying. She wanted so badly to ignore Molly's advice, but deep down she knew that Molly's word were the truth. They
did
have something special.

              “It's not too late to change things,” Molly said. Molly—her friend, willfully ignored for so many years, now Abby’s only cheerleader. Doing what she could to fix a mess she’d had no hand in creating. The tears came forth, and Abby reached out to embrace her.

              “I have no idea what I did to deserve someone like you as a friend,” she said. The words came from her heart, and she knew Molly must have known that. Now they were both crying.

Now Abby knew what she needed to do: she needed to make things right. But how? “What should I do? I was so cold to him, so mean, when all he wanted to do was help. How could I possibly expect him to forgive me?”

              Molly pulled back, a hand on either side of Abby’s face. Her voice was kind but her words cut through Abby like needles.

              “By asking him, you doofus.”

             
I
t was cold out, and she’d forgotten her gloves; knocking on Eli’s door turned her fingers white and bloodless. Night had fallen. All the heat and moisture in the air had gone, leaving a bitter cold that threatened to freeze her fingers toes.

             
Nothing.

             
She knocked again, harder, and heard Rudy begin to bark and whine on the other side. Eli had to be close by.

              “Please open the door Eli! I really need to talk to you!” she yelled.

             
Still nothing.

             
“Eli please.... Are you really going to let me freeze out here?”

              A great cracking noise splintered through the door just before it inched open. A blast of warmth whooshed from the furnace inside.

              Eli stood just inside, Rudy whining behind him.

              “What do you want?” His tone flat and cold. She knew she had hurt him, which meant she also had to be the one to fix this.

              “I want to talk,” she said firmly. “Can I come in.” He stepped aside—reluctantly, it seemed to her—and held the door for her. Rudy leaped on her the moment she came through the door, but Eli closed it behind her with a thud that shook the whole house.

              He didn't wait for her to take off her jacket or her shoes; he headed straight back into the kitchen. She could hear glassed clinking together, and cabinets and drawers opening and shutting again. Her attention shifted to Rudy, and she knelt to pet him.

              “Would you like some coffee? Tea?” Eli called from the other room. She didn't like his tone, how sad it sounded, how tired, and knowing it was because of her only added to her guilt.

              “Tea would be great.”

              Abby and Rudy made their way to the living room, which was incredibly inviting as the hot furnace stoked the room with heat. She sat down on the couch and looked casually at some of the book that lay scattered on the coffee table in front of her.

             
Brave New World. Robinson Crusoe. East of Eden.

              Those books and others sat messily together, with no real order.

              “Been reading a lot.”

              His voice startled her. She hadn't heard him come in from the kitchen. He walked towards her, holding a mug in his right hand, and a smaller cup in his left. He handed her the tea cup.

              “Do you have any sug—”

              “Three cream, two sugars,” he said. “Just the way you like it. Unless your taste in tea has changed too.”

              The stab hurt, but she deserved it. She’d known this wasn't going to be easy.

              “Perfect.” She said. Offering a friendly smile. She could see the corner of his mouth twitch up slightly, but he forced back down.

              Silence fell on the room. The only noise was the crackling fire in the furnace, and the occasional noises Abby made sipping at the hot tea.

              “So... Melody's doing well,” she finally said. “She's been awake and even talking to us. The doctors say she'll probably be able to come home sometime next week.”

              Eli continued staring at the fire dancing in the furnace, “That's great news,” he said, this time with a hint of genuine happiness in his voice. Even if he was still angry with Abby, he couldn't hide his affection for Melody.

              Abby turned and look at Rudy, whose head shot up back her, hoping she would play with him. It made her smile, but it wasn't playtime right now.

              “Eli.” She stopped, unsure how to word it. “I'm sorry.” And that was all that came out. It wasn’t enough.

              He looked towards her, face wide and disbelieving. Mocking, even. “
Sorry?
We spend all this time together. Getting to know each other, confessing our hearts to one another, and then at the first sign of trouble you completely throw me over and treat me like I'm worth absolutely nothing to you, and all you can say is '
sorry'?
”

              His words hurt. She hadn't really thought about the repercussions of her actions, but now she understood—and felt even worse about what she’d done.

              “I guess I made a mistake then, coming here,” she said, standing up to leave. She just couldn't face him any more. She already felt like the scum of the earth, and his constant negativity made her feel even worse. The scum of the earth on the bottom of some else’s shoe.

              “Abby…. No, sit back down. Please.” His voice was strained, even through his forced politeness. “We need to work this out.”

Finally. Something they agreed on.

“I want you in my life, that hasn't changed. But I don't know if I can do
that if every time life gets hard you separate yourself from me. That is not how relationships are supposed to work, and I can’t be apart of one that does. We need to work together, and lean on each other when things get hard. But that requires trust—a trust that you broke. And now, honestly, I’m not sure what it will take for me to regain it. It's not a decision
I can just make. I want to, but everything inside of me is yelling that if I do, I’ll get hurt again, and I—I can't have that, Abby. I don't know how much more pain I can take.”

              And the worst part was, she understood. After all, she’d been lying to him, to everyone, the entire time she’d been here. Burdened by the scars of her past, desperately trying to keep them hidden and forgotten. But all that was gone now. and she knew what she needed to do.

              Abby stood up. Her breathing grew shallow, and short, and she struggled to stay composed. She braced herself, trying not to think and let her mind change itself.

              “There's something you need to know about me.” She said to him. Abby could tell Eli wanted to say something, but wisely chose to stay quiet. Right now, he needed to listen.

              “I didn't come her to visit my grandma.” Eli's face was now completely confused. “Well, I mean, I
did
, but it wasn’t the
main
reason I came, like I led everyone to think.” She took in a deep breath, and with it took hold of all the courage stored within her small body. “You’re not the only one who knows what it's like to trust someone, trust them completely, and have them betray you. Strip you of everything, from your sanity to your dignity.” She paused, but the tears were coming. Nothing she could do about it but go on. So she did.

“Two years ago, I left New York for a man I’d fallen in love with when I was younger. His name was Tucker. Looking back on it now... well, now I know what love is. And that wasn’t it. But I wanted to prove to myself and as my parents that it was, that I was an adult, that I could live my own life, you know? So I convinced myself it was love.
True
love. And I left, and moved to be with him. He was an addict, but I convinced myself I could fix him, too.”

              As horrible as it was for Abby to be saying this out loud, out in open for her own ears to hear, it also felt strangely good. As if weight on her shoulders was being chipped away, allowing her to breath and stand a little taller. She continued as wept.

              “He came home after work one day, and I immediately knew something was wrong. I… I was so afraid, I—”

              Abby couldn't go on. The pain, the terror, the memories, they were all too real! Eli stood up and made his way towards her. Holding her, comforting her, guiding her to sit back on the couch. She could feel his strength build inside of her. Giving her enough courage to continue.

              “He... he grabbed me, and threw me against the wall. I didn't know what he was going to do... then I thought he might try and rape me or kill me or—I don’t know. I reached for a picture and smashed it over his head, allowing me to escape from his grasp, but only temporarily. In our struggle the house caught on fire, the Fire Marshall said one of the curtains had fallen onto a candle in the living room.”

              She couldn’t have gone on without Eli's support. His strong hand holding hers. His other rubbing her back. Massaging and loosing up her tense, tired muscles. She was
so
tired. But this was the only way to freedom. The only way to truly heal and move on.

              “He left me for dead and—and I woke up on fire.”

              Abby closed her eyes, even the memory of it almost too much to take. The heat, the agony, all too vivid.

              Eli clutched her to his chest. Holding her close, protecting her. Her tears dripped onto his jeans, leaving dark circles on the fabric. He held her for... for years. For an eternity. And for the first time since that night, she felt completely at peace. Safe, in the arms of someone who fully trusted, someone she finally knew she couldn't live without. But did he feel the same way? He had just told her that she had broken his trust, that he didn't know how she could build it up again. She needed to show
him how much she
trusted him. Needed to show him the ugliest side of her, and see if he will stay.

              She pulled back. She was a complete mess, she was sure, but that didn't seem to matter to him. He always looked at her as though she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and she was starting to finally believe it wasn't just an act, but the
truth.
That was how he really felt about her.

              She reached down and began to spontaneously pull up her shirt and she pulled down her pants. Just enough to show him her greatest insecurity. The mark that fateful day had left on her. Her ugliest side. Her scar.

              He looked at it, blankly. She couldn’t read his expression.

              The moments ticked by excruciatingly slowly as he looked at the horrendous scar. She couldn't take it anymore. She
needed
his response.
Needed
to know what he was going to do, or how he would respond. Then...

              He turned to her. His face calm, and composed. He reached out for her face, and gracefully ran his fingers softly down her cheek. It felt good.

              He then began to slump down. Moving his head closer and closer to her scar.

             
No
, she thought. But he didn't stop. He continued down, his face inching closer and closer. Abby froze, horrified. And then it happened. His lips made contact with the disfigured skin. Carefully, smoothly, with as much focus and care as though he were kissing the royal hand of the Queen of England.

              Abby couldn't believe it. Why wasn't he disgusted? Why didn’t he push her away? Tell her he never wanted to see her again?

And then, suddenly, it all made sense.

              She was the one who was afraid of it. She was the one who was disgusted, and embarrassed by the wound. She was the one who let it control her, and dictate how she treated those around her. And by kissing it, by giving her the most vulnerable gift a person can give, to the one place that she was most vulnerable, he set her free. He saw her worst, and treat it as if it was her best. Showing that he loved
all
of her. Completely. Every inch. Showing her he didn't want to change a thing.

              Abby grabbed his head, pulling it up and placing his lips where they belonged, on hers. She kissed him passionately, wanting to share everything with him. To become a part of him, and for him to become a part of her. To become
one,
unified and bound.

              She kept kissing him, hard and relentless. Her hands moving up and down his chest and back. Pressing her body towards his. Wanting nothing more than to get rid of the fabric keeping them apart.

              She began to lift up his shirt, and undo his buckle. But he broke away, and the moment stilled, then died.

              “What are you doing?” he asked, breathing heavily, as did she.

              “I... I thought it was what you wanted.” She looked at him stunned... “Isn't it?... I mean... don't you want?...”