Romantically Challenged (26 page)

The first message was from someone named Bill asking Noah to call him when he got a chance. “My brother,” Noah mouthed, as if Bill were actually on the line. The second message was a voice I recognized. “Hey, it’s Ron. I just called to let you know I have to pick Chris up in Glendale tonight. I can either come get you beforehand, or you can catch a ride with Jean. Let me know what you decide. Ciao.”

“Who’s Jean?” I asked. I hoped it came off sounding casual. My heart had nearly stopped when I heard the name.

If Noah thought it was weird that I’d asked, he didn’t let on. “A friend of mine and Ron’s,” he replied. “We’re all going to a Lakers game tonight.” He must’ve thought I wanted to go because he added, “If they were my tickets, I would’ve invited you, but they’re not. Jean got them from his boss. They’re great seats—center court, five rows up, practically celebrity alley.”

Noah said
his
boss. That meant Jean was really Gene. That also meant Joe wasn’t lying about what he’d overheard. He just misunderstood. I should’ve realized it had to be a misunderstanding. Joe wasn’t that vindictive.

Although if Jean was really Gene, why wouldn’t Noah want me to know about him? It didn’t make sense. Maybe Noah knows I’m on to him and he just said
his
boss instead of
her
boss to throw me off the scent. That would also explain why he’s been so nice to me today. He feels guilty for being the lying, cheating snake that he is. I was dating Scumbag all over again.

Noah handed me my cappuccino and I followed him into the living room. He turned on the stereo and sat down on the couch. This time it was Sting. He must’ve changed the CD this morning. Maybe Jean had stopped by for a quickie before Noah called me. That’s something Scumbag would’ve done.

I sat down on the chair across from him.

“Don’t you want to join me on the couch?” he asked. “I promise not to fall asleep.”

“No thanks,” I said. “The chair’s more comfortable.” Should I confront him before or after I throw the cappuccino in his face? Probably before.

“Really? I never noticed.” Noah got up from the couch and squeezed himself into my chair. He was practically sitting on my lap. “It doesn’t feel more comfortable to me,” he said.

I slid out from under him and stood up. “I think I’m gonna go.” I needed proof before I confronted him. Otherwise he’d just deny it and I’d end up looking like a raving lunatic.

“Something wrong?”

“I’m just not feeling that great. It must’ve been all the powdered sugar and syrup on the French toast.”

“I think I have a bottle of the pink stuff in the bathroom. Do you want me to go look for it?”

“No, I just need to go home and lie down for a while.”

I retrieved my purse and walked out to the car, and Noah followed. When I opened the car door, he bent down to kiss me, but I pulled away.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said.

“Sure,” I said before I put the car in reverse and drove away.

As soon as I turned the corner at the end of Noah’s street, I reached for my cell phone and dialed Kaitlyn’s number. She picked up on the second ring.

“Are you alone?” I asked.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Can I come over?” I was really trying, but my voice cracked anyway.

“Of course. What’s wrong?”

“I’ll explain when I get there.”

* * *

When Kaitlyn saw me she gave me a hug and handed me a box of tissues. Then I filled her in on my last twenty-four hours.

“You’re completely overreacting,” she said.

“How can you say that? Noah’s cheating on me!”

“He’s not cheating on you. You’re not even exclusive. You’ve only gone out what, three times?”

“Four including today.”

“Okay, four dates,” she said. “That’s not that many. Why would you assume that he wasn’t seeing other people?”

“Because I’m not.”

“You are too. You just went out with Richie Rich a few days ago.”

“I told you, that’s over.”

“So because you decided three days ago to make your relationship with Noah exclusive, you think that means he decided the same thing?”

“Why are you taking his side? You’re my friend, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I’m on your side. That’s why I’m telling you this. I know you really like Noah and I don’t want to see you blow it with him over something stupid like him going to a basketball game with another woman. For all you know, this could be their last date too. Or maybe she’s just a friend.”

“If she was just a friend, he wouldn’t have said she was a guy.”

“The point is you don’t know and it could be nothing. You need to relax.”

“If he’s seeing someone else, I have a right to know.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not going to sleep with him if he’s sleeping with someone else.”

“But you’re not sleeping with him.”

“I would have if he hadn’t fallen asleep!”

Kaitlyn threw up her arms in disgust. “What are you going to do? Ask him if he’s seeing someone else?”

“I would if I thought he would tell me the truth. But he lied about Jean. Now I can’t trust him.”

“Then what? Hire a private detective to follow him around like some suspicious wife?”

“No, you know I can’t afford that. I’ll have to do it myself.”

“You’re not going to start stalking Noah!”

“Of course not,” I said. “We’re dating. I’m just going to casually bump into him at the Lakers game tonight. Then I can judge his relationship with Jean for myself.”

“You don’t have a ticket,” she said.

“Then I’ll buy one.”

“I’m sure the game’s sold out.”

“Then I’ll get one off a scalper.

“You’re going to spend $500 just to spy on him at a basketball game?”

“Do tickets really cost that much?” I had no idea.

“For a good game.”

Hmmmm. I hadn’t anticipated that.

“I have a better idea,” Kaitlyn said. “Why don’t you come with me and Steve to the movies tonight. Then tomorrow, when you’ve calmed down, if you still feel like you need to you can call Noah and ask him if he’s seeing anyone else. I’m sure if you explain to him how important it is to you, he’ll tell you the truth.”

Kailtyn had a point. I couldn’t think rationally on four hours sleep. I should go to bed early tonight, get lots of sleep, and confront Noah in the morning when my head was clear. Then I could really nail him to the wall.

Surprise

I’d already seen the movie that Kaitlyn and Steve wanted to see, so I went home and took a nap. When I awoke, I caught the tale end of
Suspicion
on Channel 11, then started clicking up the dial. I was into stations I never watched like the Golf Channel and the Soap Network, when I passed a basketball game. I clicked back. It wasn’t the Lakers game, but it gave me an idea.

I called Greg. “You’re a Lakers fan, right?” I asked. I could hear people talking in the background.

“Yeah,” he said. “Why?”

“Do they broadcast the home games too?”

“On cable. Which must mean you’re not already watching the pre-game show.”

“No. What channel is it on?”

“Thirty-eight.”

I clicked over to Channel 38. “We must have different cable systems. My channel thirty-eight is Spanish language news.”

“Look for Fox Sports West.”

I pulled out my cable guide. “I don’t think I have that one.”

“Too bad. You’re welcome to come over here and watch it if you want.”

I desperately wanted to, but I didn’t want to intrude. “It sounds like you’ve already got some people with you.”

“Just my buddy Mike and his girlfriend. There’s always room for one more.”

That was all the encouragement I needed.

I stopped at the grocery store on my way to Greg’s house and picked up a six-pack of Sam Adams. I knew I’d be welcome if I brought along beer. My timing was perfect. I reached Greg’s door just as the pizza delivery man was leaving.

The four of us ate pizza, drank beer, and watched the game. At half-time, Mike and his girlfriend went out for more refreshments and I stayed behind with Greg.

“So why the sudden interest in basketball?” he asked. “I didn’t think you were a sports fan.”

“I’m not, but I’m seeing a guy that is. He’s actually at the game tonight.”

“So what’s the plan? You pretend to like basketball to reel him in?”

“Something like that.” Greg didn’t need the whole story.

To my surprise, I caught a glimpse of Noah in the stands at the end of the third quarter. Of course I’d been hoping to see him. That’s why I was watching. But I didn’t really think I would. The gods were smiling on me tonight.

He was exactly where he said he’d be—five rows up and just to the left of Jack Nicholson. He was sitting between Ron and some guy I didn’t recognize. I didn’t see a woman, but they were only on camera for a second. I could’ve missed her.

The next time the camera panned Noah’s seats, I pointed him out to Greg.

“How did he score those seats?” he asked.

“They’re not his, they belong to a friend of a friend.”

“Well tell him to introduce me.”

The game was in the fourth quarter with only three minutes left when I saw the woman two seats away from Noah. If that was Jean, he sure wasn’t paying much attention to her. Maybe Kaitlyn was right. Maybe they were just friends and I’d blown the whole thing out of proportion. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Two seconds before the buzzer, Kobe scored the winning basket. The camera panned the cheering crowd, then froze on two men kissing.

“Only in L.A.” one of the announcers said.

“You got that right,” the other one agreed.

The two men stopped kissing and looked up. One of them pointed to the overhead television screen and waved. The other one looked embarrassed and sat down.  

“Isn’t that your boyfriend?” Greg said.

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

I could not believe my eyes. At least Noah was the one that looked embarrassed. Although not as embarrassed as I was.

I told Greg I needed to leave and ran out without even saying goodbye to Mike and his girlfriend. I tried both Kaitlyn and Simone from my cell, but I couldn’t reach either one of them. I was debating who to call next when I passed the twenty-four hour grocery store. I made a fast u-turn and screeched to a stop in the parking lot. The fruit popsicles in my freezer weren’t going to cut it tonight.

* * *

I was two-thirds of the way through the pint of Ben & Jerry’s Coffee Heathbar Crunch before I started feeling sick, but all I could think was how could I not have known Noah was gay? I missed all the signs—gay friends, extensive assortment of hair care products, not wanting to sleep with me. How could I be such an idiot!

But if he’s gay, why is he still dating women? Is it just about appearances? Is he really that insecure? I had to know.

I dialed his number and was still debating whether I should leave a message on his answering machine when he picked up the line.

“I was about to call you,” he said breathlessly. “I just walked in.”

“How was the game?” I asked.

“Good. Very exciting.”

“I know. I saw it on TV”

Silence.

“I especially liked the close-up of you at the end. I’ve never seen you kiss from that angle before. But then again, I’ve never seen you kiss a man before either.”

“It’s not what it looked like.”

“Really? You mean me and the other ten million people watching the Lakers game only thought we saw two guys kissing? We all had some sort of collective delusion?”

“Gene was excited and he kissed me. That’s all. It was no big deal.”

“No big deal! Noah you kissed him back.”

“He caught me off guard. I didn’t know what to do. After all, he was the one who invited me.”

“So what are you saying? You only kissed him because you didn’t want to offend him?”

“Exactly.”

Talk about denial. He made my mother look positively self-aware. “Noah, you’re thirty-six-years-old. Don’t you think it’s time you admitted you’re gay.”

“I’m not gay!”

I hung up. Dating was hard enough without adding closet homosexuals to the mix. Five seconds later the phone rang. I let the answering machine pick up. As soon as I heard Noah’s voice, I unplugged the phone and went straight to bed. Even with all the sugar and caffeine I’d just consumed, I fell right to sleep.

Moving On, Again

I was actually happy to go to work Monday morning. It would be a good distraction. I needed to think about something other than Noah. I planned on spending the entire morning researching right of publicity claims. Simone had other plans. She didn’t even wait for Rosenthal to leave for his therapy session before she came into my office.

“I’m so sorry,” she said.

“About what?” I hadn’t even told her about Noah yet.

“About Noah. Greg told me.”

That big mouth. “Who else knows?”

“No one, as far as I know.”

I hoped she was right.

We both heard Rosenthal coming down the hallway. He was yelling to Diane to tell whomever was on the phone that he’d call them back. It was too late for Simone to sneak back to her own office unnoticed, so I handed her some papers and picked up a pad and pen in the hopes that when Rosenthal walked by he would think we were discussing a case.

Ten seconds later, Rosenthal was standing in my doorway. “What are you two up to?”

“The Kirby case. The reply brief is due tomorrow and I wanted Simone’s opinion on the procedural issues.”

She handed the papers back to me and said, “I think you’re right on target. Let me know if you want me to read through the final draft.”

Simone stood up to leave when Rosenthal said, “Write it up as research. Clients don’t like it when they see a lot of lawyer conferences on their bill.”

“Sure Bruce,” Simone replied. She waited until he turned his back before she silently growled at him and left.

Rosenthal shut the door behind her and sat down. “So how’s everything going?”

“Fine,” I said cautiously. A closed door conference couldn’t be good.