Room at the Top (6 page)

“We
were
moping, but now we’re looking,” Austin assured him. He came clean. “We’re desperate, and I’m scared where we’ll end up if we don’t deal with this. We’re out of options. It’s not like there’s this huge pool of volunteers, you know?”

It was so easy to pour it all out to Patrick. Unfair to dump it on him, maybe, but Austin was past caring when Jay was like this.

“How about if you started looking in a bigger pool?” Patrick said after a long pause.

“Outside the area, you mean?” Austin studied the bowl of fruit on the counter. There was a brown spot on one of the apples, and he made a mental note to toss it out. They needed to eat more fruit. They bought it, but then they just left it in the bowl like buying it was enough to keep them healthy, and—

“Austin. Pay attention.” The familiar snap to Patrick’s voice make Austin jerk upright, his heart hammering. God, he’d missed hearing Patrick give him orders. “No, I don’t mean driving for hours and meeting up with someone who might be worse than Niall. I meant…would you consider someone who was straight if I could personally vouch for him?”

“Huh?” Austin felt confusion replace the brief spurt of happiness. “Why would a straight guy be interested in two male subs?”

“At least he wouldn’t place sex with you at the top of the list, the way Niall clearly did.”

“True.” It was something Austin had never considered; he’d never thought of anyone but a gay man as an option because so many straight ones, especially the older men who were experienced doms, tended to run toward homophobic. And even if they weren’t, they might be turned off at seeing two guys together, which was kind of the opposite of the point even if sex wasn’t part of the D/s dynamic. “That wasn’t a hypothetical question, was it?”

“Not really. I do know someone, and I think chances are he’d be a good fit for you and Jay. He’s straight, divorced, but he reminds me of, well, me in a lot of ways. I’d like it if you’d think about it, at least—and not because I think you and Jay can’t make it on your own. You can. I know you can. I could see that from the moment we met.” Patrick’s voice changed slightly. “I want you to go find Jay and talk to him.”

“What, now?” Austin had heard the command. He shouldn’t argue, shouldn’t question.

“Yes. Now, Austin.”

“Yes, Sir.” It wasn’t deliberate, the addition of the title of respect for his former dom. It just slipped out automatically.

The bathroom door was closed. It was hollow, though, so it didn’t allow for much in the way of privacy. Austin could hear water running into the tub as he knocked.

“Patrick’s on the phone,” he said to the door. “He wants us to talk.”

There were a few long seconds of silence; then Jay said, “Okay. Come in.”

Austin felt better when he turned the door handle and found it wasn’t locked, and better still when Jay smiled at him, even if it was tentative.

Sorry
, Jay mouthed at the same time Patrick said, “Put the phone on speaker.”

Austin did that, then walked over to the bath, a matter of two short steps. He sat down on the edge of it, holding the phone out so all three of them would be able to hear each other. Jay sat up, the wet ends of his hair clinging to his chest and shoulders. His nipples were hard, even though the heat of the water had stained his skin pink, and Austin wanted to run his fingers across them, transfer the beading of water to his fingers and taste it.

“Jay, I owe you both an apology. Not for moving away, but for neglecting to arrange a replacement for my…services.”

Jay leaned forward, the words tumbling out. “No way, Patrick. No apologies. We found you and we’re…we should be able to… We can take care of it.”

“It’s okay,” Austin said, stroking Jay’s head. “He knows we can’t. I told him.”

Jay turned his head to look up at Austin. “He shouldn’t be worrying about us!” he hissed.

“I can hear you even when you whisper,” Patrick said, a suspicion of a chuckle audible. “Jay, I just put forward a proposal, but it’s obviously something that both of you have to be fully on board with.”

“You’re coming back?” Jay said, the eagerness in his voice painful to hear.

“No. For a visit, maybe in the fall, but no. I can’t. Not yet.” Patrick sounded regretful but firm. “I think that you both trust me enough to go along with my idea of a new dom, so I’ll let Austin fill you in on that and you can call me when you’ve come to a decision. What I want to talk to you about is the way you two are doubting what you have.”

“We’re not.” Jay sounded hurt. He gave Austin an accusing look. “Did you tell him that?”

“I told him you came in here to sulk,” Austin snapped back. Jay was entitled to his space. Of course he was. But to just walk off like that was rude.

“I wasn’t sulking!”

“Boys.” Patrick sounded irritated, and that was rare enough to make them both go quiet. “God, if I was there, you’d both be yelping.”

“If you were here, we wouldn’t be fighting.” Jay’s voice cracked, and he struck the surface of the water with his hand, splashing Austin and the wall. “I need—I need so fucking much, Patrick, and so does Austin and we can’t…we tried to do it ourselves and it didn’t work—”

“You tried… No, don’t tell me. I can only imagine.” The irritation had gone now. Patrick sounded sympathetic—even if Austin suspected some amusement still lurked. “Trust yourselves. I do. Implicitly. You two are solid, rock solid, and this is just going to make you realize that.”

“No pain, no gain?” Austin said, using a towel to blot the water from his jeans.

Patrick laughed. “Well, you can’t expect me not to agree with that particular saying, now can you?”

“Who’s this new dom you’re thinking of?” Jay asked with a spark of interest Austin silently thanked Patrick for inspiring. “Someone we know from the group?”

“Someone
I
know,” Patrick said. “We met a few years ago, though he wasn’t active in the scene at the time. His wife needed to redecorate, and I supplied some nice pieces of Regency furniture from my store. We hit it off. Liam and I, not his wife. She wasn’t my type at all.”

“His
wife
?” Jay gave Austin a questioning glance, and Austin shrugged helplessly. “He’s straight?”

“I believe so. The redecoration was a last-ditch attempt to salvage the marriage, but it didn’t work. Liam’s divorced now, living in that new subdivision, Maplewood Estates.”

“I know it,” Jay said with a hint of scorn. “Cookie-cutter four-bedroom houses with double garages.”

“Yes, but Liam’s not… Well, if you meet with him, you’ll be able to see what he’s like for yourself.”

Austin was feeling desperate enough to agree to just about anything right then, especially since it was Patrick suggesting it. “We can’t just turn up and ask him to spank us. He doesn’t know us.”

“I’ve mentioned you to him from time to time, as it happens.” Patrick chuckled. “I may have even boasted a little about how good you were. Even so, I’m sure you’ll all have questions. Do you want me to give him your number and have him call you?”

Jay and Austin exchanged a look, and Austin could read Jay’s eyes so well that it gave him hope. Jay was desperate too, and wanted this to work. And Jay loved him. “Yes,” Austin answered for both of them. “Yeah, that would be great.”

Chapter Four

“Don’t freak out,” Jay warned Austin. It was a pretty funny thing to say, since the chances of Austin freaking out in any visible way were slim to none. Still, it was reassuring to hear the words out loud even if they were both unnecessary and pointless.

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed.” Austin finished tying his work shoes, straightened, and looked at Jay.

“If I am, I am. You can’t stop that.” Jay knew he was being perfectly reasonable, but it warmed him anytime Austin said something protective.

They were meeting Patrick’s friend Liam—well, calling them friends might be stretching it a bit—for coffee at a local bookstore. Jay suspected Austin had suggested the location because if it didn’t go well, it would be easy enough to distract Jay with all the lovely books. But it was also a good place to talk, in an older building with lots of comfortable stuffed chairs and couches tucked away into little alcoves while still being public enough to feel safe.

Before Niall, they would’ve probably agreed to go to Liam’s house to do this without thinking twice about it, but they were both more cautious now. Jay couldn’t decide if that was a good thing. On the surface, yes, but they’d lost something that night. If he started thinking about
that
, he was going to be all melancholy and mope, and this Liam guy would probably decide they were too much trouble.

“I can make it less likely to happen.” Austin put his hand on Jay’s face, cupping his cheek. “At least, I wish we knew what he was
like
.”

Jay had formed a mental picture from the little Patrick had told them: expensive suit, intense blue eyes, doesn’t smile often, dark brown hair, shorter than either of them would ever wear it but compared to Patrick, he had plenty, taller than either Jay or Austin. And Liam sounded intimidating.

Patrick could be stern. Jay had loved it when he was, though he’d never admitted it even to Austin, who probably already knew. But Patrick had never made Jay feel anything but safe. The phone call had been short, with Liam sounding distracted if polite.

“Patrick likes him,” Jay offered. Those three words were the mantra he’d been using to calm down, and they seemed to work on Austin too because he relaxed visibly.

“Yeah. True.”

“It’s going to be fine.”

Austin glanced at the clock and winced. “Unless we’re late, in which case, way to make a bad first impression. Come on.”

If Austin drove more than a little bit over the speed limit, it was understandable though out of character for him. His thumbs beat a nervous rhythm on the steering wheel as they waited for the one empty space in the parking lot to open up.

“Come on, asshole, let’s go,” he muttered under his breath.

Jay gave him a disbelieving look. “Relax, would you? You’re going to give yourself a heart attack.”

“Yeah, I know.” Austin took a deep breath and let it out as he pulled the car into the finally vacated space. “Sorry. Okay. I’m under control. I just, you know—”

“You hate being late. I get it. But if you’re worried about making a good first impression, this isn’t the way to do it.” Jay felt for Austin, he really did. He also knew Austin would blame himself if this didn’t work out, no matter what Jay said. “You’re amazing. He’s going to see that.”

Austin shut off the car and gave Jay a look of such warmth and love it took his breath away. “You’re the one who's amazing.”

Jay smiled. “Well, let’s get our amazing selves in there and meet this guy.”

He saw the man who had to be Liam right away, already holding a cup of coffee and reading the back of a bestseller he must’ve taken from the display beside him. It was good the man was distracted, because it meant Jay could take time to study him without being too obvious.

Liam was wearing a beautifully fitted suit, his hair looked newly trimmed, and his shoes had to have cost at least three hundred dollars. If you looked closely, smile lines were visible around his eyes and mouth, but on casual viewing the man appeared to be stern, professional.

Perfect.

“Is that him?” Austin said into Jay’s ear.

“Who else could it be?” Jay had never been very good at figuring out if someone was gay or not. It had led to one embarrassing moment in high school that he really wished he could wipe from his memory, though the guy he’d impulsively kissed hadn’t looked insulted or angry—just stunned. When it came to spotting someone who looked capable of bringing him to his knees with a downward twitch of a finger, though, he was pretty damn good.

Liam Thornton probably wouldn’t even need the finger twitch.

“Good point,” Austin muttered. “He’s very, uh, he’s…”

“Waiting for us,” Jay said, feeling like a kid caught sneaking candy. “Shit.”

Liam had glanced up, spotted them immediately, and frowned just slightly, as if he was trying to figure out why he was being stared at like a zoo exhibit. It made him look forbidding, and Jay found himself groping for Austin’s hand, needing something to ground him before he fucked this up by running away. Okay, maybe that wasn’t the direction he would’ve gone. The patch of carpet by Liam’s feet looked far more tempting, if totally off-limits.

“I don’t need to guess,” Liam said in an unexpected British accent, putting the book back and coming toward them. “Patrick e-mailed me some photos, so I’d know what to expect.” He offered his hand, and Austin shook it.

“Yeah. We weren’t sure.” Austin smiled. “I’m Austin, and this is Jay.”

“I didn’t realize you’d be so tall,” Liam said to Jay, who took his turn shaking hands. Liam’s was solid and strong.

Jay wasn’t sure what to say to that—should he apologize?—and ended up not saying anything. He managed to nod, though.

Fortunately Liam seemed comfortable taking control of the situation right from the start. “Austin, why don’t you grab some coffee or whatever, and Jay and I will get a table. I’m sure you’ll be able to spot us.”

Jay found himself alone with Liam, following the older man between long sets of shelves to a corner near a window where there was a love seat and a padded chair. A table nearby held a few stacks of books and several coasters, no doubt intended to encourage people to set their cups where they wouldn’t damage the wooden surface.

“Sit,” Liam said, and Jay did. He clasped his hands on his lap. It made him feel like a kid, so he forced himself to put them on his knees instead. “Tell me about yourself.”

Jay blinked at him. It was one of those questions open-ended enough to give him agoraphobia. “Uh…”

Liam waited for him to continue with a patience Jay appreciated. He had the feeling, though, that it was limited, and when it ran out, Liam would be expecting something more than a mumble. He reminded himself of just how much this mattered and tried again.

“I build dioramas.”

The words hung in the air, unsupported by any gleam of interest on Liam’s face, and Jay felt his throat close up. He looked around for Austin, but it took forever to get served here and Austin would be worrying about him and probably fumbling the order, dropping his change, spilling their drinks and needing to order more—