Root (46 page)

“
You gave me hope, James. Even a
little is too much. I will lose Isobel. And she is all I have. My
sister. I am frightened, James. I don’t know what to
do.”

“
Have you considered …
counseling?”

She picked up a pine cone and threw it at me,
hard.

“
Counseling? Is this a
joke?”

“
I don’t know. They say it helps.
I’m just—”

“
You really are a stupid boy. Coming
here. For what? You think I would run off with you?”

“
Well, yeah … that was the
idea.”

“
Not without Isobel. And she is not
ready. She doesn’t know how to deal with Root when it comes. And
she won’t listen to me about it … not yet. I am afraid … when Root
comes … and it will come, I can feel it … she will be Reaped.” She
buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

“
I … I don’t know what to say.” I
never felt so empty. “Why can’t your sis come with us? We can just
pack up and go. Your dad … he’s not home. I saw him
leave.”

Her posture stiffened, and her face went
blank. “You saw my father?”

“
Well, yeah. I was watching the
house and—”

“
How long have you been stalking
me?”

“
Stalking? I’m not stalking. I just
got here this morning.”

“
Do not go near my father! He keeps
a gun by the door. A shotgun. Loaded. Did he see you?”

“
Um …no.”

“
You don’t understand what kind of
trouble it will bring if he finds out a boy is looking for me. He
will blame me.”

“
Blame you for what?”

“
For luring you. Attracting boys.
For being un-chaste. I am given to God … for life.”

“
What do you mean? Is that … what
you want?”

“
It does not matter what I
want.”

“
Of course it matters.”

“
No. I am to be with no other man …
forever … but God … and my father.”

“
What is that supposed to
mean?”

“
Please! Don’t make me explain
everything!” her face distorted in pain.

“
Jesus, Karla. You guys don’t need
to put up with this. You need to grab your sister and come with
me.”

“
Oh yes? And where would we
go?”

“
I don’t know … anywhere … away from
here. Maybe there’s an Occupy in London. In Rome they gave me free
food, a place to sleep.”

“
Occupy? Are you insane?”

“
Just as a start. We could find
jobs. Get an apartment.”

“
I can’t leave my
sister.”

“
I keep telling you, you don’t have
to. Bring her with us.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “It is not
possible. She does not … she will not go willingly. She is deeply
depressed, Unresponsive. You, of all people, should know what that
feels like. She has no control over her entry to Root. I fear the
worst. I was nearly Reaped my first time. If it wasn’t for Bern and
Lille….”

“
But why even mess with Root if we
don’t have to? We can fix things here … make things right … and the
first step is getting you and Isobel away from that
monster.”

A sadness crept into her gaze. “Oh? And how
will that work? First of all … Isobel would not cooperate. She does
not listen to me. And if we force her to come, she is a minor. The
government would come looking. She would give us up. You would be
arrested for kidnapping. Deported. Prison. And that is if you are
lucky and Papa did not find you first. Only bad things would come
of this. And that is why you must go.”

My head spun. “Your dad … he’s the one that
needs to go to jail. If he did that did that to your eye. Those
other things … why didn’t you report him?”

“
Impossible.”

“
Why?”

“
He is too well connected. Too well
respected in the Order. No one would believe me or Isobel. They are
loyal.”

“
Fuck that! I’ll report him … just
tell me—”

“
Stop it! That is just foolish
talk!”

“
What do you mean? He’s a criminal.
Grab your sister and we’ll go. We’ll work it out. It’ll all work
out.”

Karla shot to her feet. “Did you not hear
anything I told you?” Her voice cracked.

I took her hand. She yanked it
back.

“
Where is she? Your sis? She
home?”

“
She’s at school. But it doesn’t
matter, we are not going with you. Not now, not ever. And you … you
should go back where you came from … to Florida. I don’t want you
here. You had already ruined everything and now you have made it
worse. You must go away and promise never to contact me again. Only
that will break the curse.”

“
No way! Karla, I—”

“
Go!” she shrieked. “Go and never
come back! Promise me this. Promise me!” Her face blushed purple.
Her lips trembled. “You are my curse.”

I clammed up. Her eyes tracked mine with a
glare as glassy as a tarn and colder than the Cairn Gorms in a
sleet storm. The depth of the void behind them stunned
me.

“
Karla?”

“
Promise me!”

“
I can’t … I … I don’t want … I …
love you.” Tears distorted my view of her face, as if I were
peering through a wavy lens. They made it seem as if the world was
melting before me. I wanted her to take it all back, to change her
mind, to reach out and hold me, comfort me, tell me everything
would work out all right. But she did none of those things. She
just stood there and glared, arms folded. She could have passed for
a bronze statue.

I wheeled abruptly and started up the garden
stairs. I didn’t look back and didn’t even say goodbye as my heart
imploded into the blackest of holes.

Chapter 43:
Careening

I wandered like a drunk, careening from street
to street, bumping into people and brick walls, and neglected to
notice or excuse myself to either. I took little to no care
crossing streets, but through some curse of luck, suffered no
‘accidents.’ A bridge tempted me with the tumultuous current
boiling below it. What I really wanted was for Root to come to me.
So I bided my time and ‘surfed,’ but never had the pain of waiting
pressed so deep.

I spotted a sign for the train station and
tried to follow, only to find myself caught in a tangle of alleys
bounded by walls of brick and concrete stone that mixed and matched
building materials in a slap-dash fashion, as if the city had been
assembled a little piece at a time with whatever was lying around
at the moment.

A row of small cars were parked perpendicular
to the street here, crammed into every possible space. I passed a
TJ Maxx that made me wonder for a moment whether I really was in
Scotland.

I found the tracks and followed them to a
hangar-like structure overarching the main station. It had vaulted,
windowed ceilings to help remind travelers of the bad weather
outside.

The ticketing and waiting area reminded me of
a hospital with its white tile floors and barebones furnishing. On
second thought, if a provincial portal to Heaven had a train
station, it would probably look something like Inverness—humble,
unpretentious but gleaming with the promise of better
destinations.

A cheery train with a yellow nose and pulling
red-striped cars chugged away from the platform just as I wandered
in. I gathered from the board that it was headed for Edinburgh.
Just as well. I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave just yet, because if
I left Inverness now, it would be for good.

There were seats available here and there in
the waiting area but I had no desire to be around people, so I
crumpled myself into a ball behind a water fountain in the far
corner of the station, and tried to sort out the storm raging in my
brain.

So Karla didn’t want me in her life. That was
clear and that was that. I had no Plan B. So what was I supposed to
do now? I didn’t have enough money to get back to Florida, not that
I had any reason to go back there in the first place.

I guess I could find some menial
under-the-table job, landscaping maybe, where my immigration status
didn’t matter. That would enable me to scratch out an existence
somewhere here in the UK, where I could at least speak the
language. But to what end? What kind of life would that
be?

Back to Rome, perhaps? I had never felt more
alive than when I had been in Rome. But that was when I still
believed finding Karla would be its own award. I never fathomed it
would lead to a flat-out rejection.

So in short, I was in Limbo. I could do
nothing but coast on the fumes of my existence. If fate was
merciful, it would snuff me out without my having to lift a
finger.

I sank against the tiled wall, begging for the
roots to come and claim me. I hoped for a pod in the deepest,
darkest lair of the meanest, hungriest Reaper.

I waited and waited, but not the slightest
inkling of Root came to me. Were they toying with me? Would they
not be satisfied until I had been driven to the lowest of possible
lows. But why? Were they simply evil?

Maybe they would not come because I was still
too close to my dreams. Karla and Ardconnel Terrace were only a few
blocks away. Did they sense that I harbored some slight and
unconscious hope that she would reconsider and come looking for me?
Or that she would respond differently the next time I appeared at
her door? Was I cursing myself with some subtle and subliminal
optimism?

Maybe I had to get as far away from her as
possible to really make my depression sink its teeth. Root was my
only recourse other than death, and I was beginning to question
which might be the better option.

A security guard came by and rousted me from
my corner. He was good-natured about it. He just didn’t want me
mucking about on the floor. I had to show him my cash to have him
let me remain in the station. Otherwise he would have booted me out
the door like some bum.

I orbited around the ticket booth for a while,
while I clung to the desperate notion of going back for another try
at convincing Karla. Either that, or leaping onto the tracks in
front of the 4:55 from Aberdeen. Ticket or leap, it would be same
end result. Both would take me farther from Karla, so I did nothing
for the moment but pace and wander.

Of course, there would be another one of those
lone, young men hanging out by the coffee stand. There was one in
every station in Europe, after all. He was in his mid 20s, with
short hair. He looked bored, but his gaze seemed to wander
dutifully to every face that wandered past. But never mind him, I
wondered what people wondered about me.

I found a spot on a bench vacated by an older
woman who had gotten up to greet someone stepping off the Aberdeen
train. The security guard kept looking my way. Had he noticed that
I had yet to buy a ticket? I hoped he wasn’t going to hassle me
until I had the proof in my hand to show him.

I sighed and thought again of Karla, coming to
the realization that there was no way in hell I would be leaving
Inverness as long as she remained here. Wherever she was, that was
where I wanted to be.

I drew solace from knowing that at least she
was alive and healthy on this side of life. Things could be worse.
Though her home life might be terrifying, her will remained strong.
At least she managed to get out of the house now and then. She got
to feel raindrops, smell lilacs and eat fresh-baked
bread.

The more positives I defined for her, the
sadder I became, for the paltry life she led compared to what it
could be with me. And yet I was powerless to change it.

That guy at the coffee stand, he was looking
at me now and he had taken out his phone. He tried not to stare,
but I could tell that I was a person of considerable interest to
him. Looking at him out of the corner of my eye, I realized that I
had seen him before on the platform at Edinburgh when I had gotten
off the train by mistake.

I was struck with the urge to flee, but before
I could rise, I sank into that oaken bench and became one with the
wood. Its grain became the grain of my flesh as I plummeted into
Root.

Chapter 44:
Searching

I emerged into Root not swaddled in a
tightly-wrapped pod on the threshold of a Reaper’s lair as I had
wished, but laying free and naked in the cleft harboring Bern and
Lille’s cabin. I lay there panting, stunned as usual by the
transition. I knew that where one ended up in Root had a lot to do
with the state of one’s mind, but the logic of these re-entries
continued to elude me.

Bits of root twinkled overhead like stars
while a subtle glow built on one edge of the cavern. It was a nice
touch. I bet that was Lille’s doing.

The lone window of the cabin was dark. I
crawled my way to their doorstep, hauled myself up and rapped on
their door.

A light flicked on inside and spilled out the
window. The door opened. Bern stood there in a pair of satiny
pajamas, not at all fazed by the bare-butted kid staring back at
him. “Well … well! Look who’s back.”