Authors: Mildred Colvin
After she rounded the corner of the house, a twig popped behind her. She knew before she turned.
“Chad.” She forced a smile. “I hadn’t seen this part of the house yet. Is this where most of the damage is?”
He nodded. “Kara’s bedroom. Amazing, isn’t it? That she’s alive, I mean. The tree could’ve crushed her. The broken glass could’ve cut her, or she could’ve been sucked out the window. She didn’t get a scratch and doesn’t seem to be affected by it at all, except she wants her mother.”
“God had His hand on her.”
He gave a short, bitter laugh. “Maybe, but why’d He take Jessica?”
“I don’t know.” She’d asked the same question so many times and still didn’t have the answers. Why did God take one and leave another? Why had she been left?
She stopped and faced Chad. “Maybe God didn’t take Jessica and Steve. Maybe He only welcomed them home.”
Chad stared into her eyes for a long moment as if trying to understand. Finally, he looked away and shrugged. “I guess it doesn’t matter. They’re gone and Kara’s still here. I’ve got to make a home for her and she hates me.”
“What?” That was the last thing she expected to hear him say. “How could she hate you? She’s a baby.”
He folded his arms and leaned back against the house. “Yes, a baby that screams when I get close to her.”
“When did you see her last?”
“Sunday. I go this coming Sunday afternoon.” He captured her gaze. “Will you go with me? Please, Amanda. I wouldn’t ask, but I really don’t think I can go through that again. Not alone. Please?”
She stared at the ground trying to decide what to say. What to do. He had no idea how much she wanted to hold his niece close and love her. She was Jessica’s baby and she’d loved Jessica like a sister. She would love her baby, too. She knew she would. How could she though? This was Chad. The man who had betrayed her with her friend. He was engaged to her, but he married Susan. Why had Susan married him if he’d done what she said? She wanted answers, but she didn’t want to ask the questions.
She looked up. “I don’t know—”
“Don’t answer now,” he interrupted. “This is only Tuesday. Why don’t you think about it? Pray about it if you want. I’m not trying to crowd you, Amanda. I’m only asking for help, and surely you know I wouldn’t if I didn’t need it. May I call you Friday evening? That’ll give you time to decide if you can trust me.”
“I don’t…” Her voice trailed off because she couldn’t honestly say she trusted him.
He grinned at her. “I’m not as bad as you think. Can’t we be friends? Maybe we can talk sometime. Get caught up on each other’s lives. I’ve got about a thousand questions for you. I figure you might think up a couple to ask me.”
Amanda sighed. “All right. I’ll give you my cell number.” If he had a thousand questions, she had a couple all right. A couple of thousand.
What would it hurt to have her curiosity satisfied?
Amanda spent Wednesday and Thursday looking for work. Summer jobs weren’t as easy to find as she’d expected. Seemed the high school and college kids had already snatched them up. She put in several applications, even making the rounds of the fast-food restaurants with little encouragement. After handing one more application to a prospective employer, she drove back to her folks’house in her mother’s car. She had enough money from the sale of her car and furniture in California to buy her own transportation, but she’d hoped to have some income before she did.
Relying on her parents had been one of the reasons she hadn’t wanted to move to Litchfield. Mom didn’t seem to mind having Dad chauffeur her to and from work, but Amanda minded. She needed a job soon. One that wouldn’t interfere with her school duties. She had orientation workshops later in the summer to attend and there would be lesson plans to ready for teaching. She’d need some time to prepare her classroom and materials. Which meant she’d probably only have a couple of months to work before preparing to teach. Just thinking about it both overwhelmed and excited her. She could scarcely wait until that first day of school.
She pulled down the street to her house when her cell phone played the default melody. Curious, she turned it on and answered.
“Amanda?” Chad’s voice set her pulse racing. He said he’d call Friday evening, not Thursday afternoon.
“Yes.” She wouldn’t let him know she recognized his voice.
“It’s Chad. You said I could call.”
“I expected you to call tomorrow.” She pulled into the drive at the house and stopped. “Am I wrong, or isn’t this Thursday?”
He chuckled. “I got lonely.”
“So you called my number?”
“Best number in my phone. Even has a picture.”
“You took a picture of me? In grungy work clothes with dirt all over my face and, I might add, without my permission or knowledge.” She couldn’t stop the pleased smile from spreading, although she’d never let him know.
“Oops, am I in trouble?” He didn’t sound the least bit worried. She heard the smile in his voice. “It’s a really nice picture and there isn’t any dirt that I can see. Just a beautiful woman.”
Now she did smile. “You would use flattery to get out of trouble?”
“I don’t know, I might, but I’m not.” His voice dropped. “I always thought you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen.”
He couldn’t mean that, not after what he’d done. His words, meant to flatter, had the opposite effect, dousing Amanda with reality. If he meant what he said, why’d he take second best? Why had he married Susan? She didn’t want to think about it, so she said, “Did you call to set up a time and place Sunday?”
“Then you’ll go with me?” The lilt in his voice held a bit of relief as well.
“If you remember, Jessica and I were very close at one time. I’m going for her. I don’t know that I’ll be any help, but I’m willing to meet you at the foster home and see what happens.” She opened the car door and stepped out. Her dad’s truck wasn’t in the drive, so that meant no one would be at home. Maybe she could start supper so Mom wouldn’t have to.
“Why don’t you stop at the farm? We can go from here so I don’t have to give you directions.”
His idea had merit. If she followed him from the farm, she still wouldn’t be riding with him, sitting beside him, trying to think of something to say. She unlocked the kitchen door and went into the house. She set her purse on the table and opened the refrigerator. “Okay, I guess that will work.”
“Great, can you be here around two o’clock?”
“Sure.” She closed the refrigerator and opened the freezer. She’d thaw a pound of hamburger. She could make spaghetti or something. She turned on the cold water and plugged the sink.
“Now that’s settled, how about a question-answer session? Or are you too busy? Sounds like you’re running water.”
She laughed. “I’m in the kitchen. Mom isn’t home from work yet, so I thought I’d thaw some hamburger to get a head start on supper. I’m about done for now.”
“Okay, do you want to ask first or shall I?”
Amanda dropped the package of hamburger in the water and headed toward the living room, totally intrigued with the idea of finding answers to questions that had badgered her for fourteen years. She’d gone to meet Susan that night to talk over a personal problem her friend had. They’d chosen a quiet city park off campus for the privacy it afforded. Susan was already there, but Amanda hadn’t known that until she rounded the hedge sheltering that corner of the park. Susan was with someone. Chad. Wrapped in his arms. Oh yes, the whys of that night would probably take up half of her questions. But she couldn’t ask them. Not over the phone.
She sat in her dad’s recliner and lifted the footrest. “You go first. I’ll save my questions until later.”
“All right if you’re sure, I’d like to know what your intentions are. Are you in the area for a visit or is this something more permanent?” Chad’s question was followed by a loud thump.
“What was that?”
He chuckled. “Already you’re asking questions and you haven’t even answered mine. I just found a box in Kara’s room that might have water damage. Looks like clothes in here. Maybe some Jessica had stored away. Figured I’d better check for mold. Now, how about you answer me?”
“I moved back. I’m looking for a summer job that’s flexible enough to let me prepare for school.”
“School?”
“Yes, teaching kindergarten. This will be my first year.”
“Is that right?” He sounded either pleased or amused. Amanda couldn’t tell which.
“I’m very excited, although I’m well aware of the attention to detail that’s required. I made up a checklist of things to do before the first day of school, and it’s three pages long.” She laughed. “I’ve already started preparing some of the materials I’ll be using. It’s kind of fun.”
“I’ve about forgotten my first year, but I’m sure I was excited. Fun? I’m not so sure.” He chuckled. “You’ll settle in and it’ll get easier with each year. At least that’s what they keep telling me.”
“So, you did go into teaching?”
“That was the plan, wasn’t it?” His voice roughened around the words that brought a flood of memories to her mind.
Her sophomore year of high school, she walked into the classroom where the FTA club, Future Teachers of America, met. That was the first time she’d noticed Chad. His dark good looks and ready smile drew her like a magnet. She slipped into the empty chair in front of him and said, “Hi.”
He was a senior, in the same class with her brother, when they started dating. Two years later, by the end of her senior year, they were talking marriage. He would teach high school history while she taught elementary. During their summer vacations, they’d travel.
She attended the state university in Springfield along with him through her first two years. Just before his graduation, they became officially engaged and would have been married that summer, if she hadn’t found him with Susan.
“Amanda?” His voice in her ear and the crunch of tires on the driveway outside brought her back to the present. “I’m sorry if I said something I shouldn’t have.”
“No of course not.” She let the footrest down and stood. “Listen, my folks just got here, so I’d better go. I’ll meet you Sunday at the farm. Bye, Chad.”
She hung up before he could stop her. She’d do this one last good deed for Jessica’s little girl, and then she was finished. No more Chad, no more farm, no Kara. She didn’t need any of them.
S
unday morning Amanda was surprised to see Chad at church. When he stood and thanked the people for helping him, she had to brush away a tear. “I can’t express the feeling I have when I think of the way you pitched in and helped a stranger in need. I couldn’t have done what you did. Thank you isn’t enough.”
After church Chad stopped Amanda. “I’ll see you this afternoon, right?”
His eyes held uncertainty and touched her heart. She nodded. “Yes, you did say around two, didn’t you?”
“Yes, and thanks, Mandy. I’ll be watching for you.” He smiled and walked away.
Two hours later, Amanda stopped behind a black extended cab truck. She hadn’t paid special attention to Chad’s truck before today, but the shiny exterior and clean, empty bed with the black, unmarred liner, told her he used it for highway and city driving. Dad’s truck had dings and scrapes from hauling anything from furniture to firewood and brush.
Chad stepped out the front door before she reached the porch. His smile came easy, but she recognized the tension in his posture and around his eyes.
“Hey, you ready to go?” He walked with her toward his truck.
“Sure, I’ll pull out first, and you can lead the way.” She started toward her car, but he stopped her.
“Mandy.”
She turned slowly back to him. “Maybe you shouldn’t call me that.”
His eyes darkened. “Maybe not, but I’d like to. Are you afraid of me?”
She gave a quick laugh. “Afraid? Of what? Of course not. I’ve never known you to be a violent person.”
“You know I’m not talking physical.” He held her gaze. “We need to talk. Not today and not over the phone. But soon. You and I have unfinished business. There are things I’ve never understood that I’d like to. Things I hope you can explain.”
Her head nodded, although she scarcely realized it. She wanted answers, too. She wanted him to tell her so many things. Over the years she fooled herself into believing she didn’t care. She avoided any mention of Chad or Susan. She left school, and refusing to listen to anyone, had gone as far as she could from Illinois. But not from the comfort of her faith. She met Jeffrey at church. And used him as an escape from her pain.
“Move your car out of the way and get in the truck with me. There’s no sense in taking two vehicles.” He stood and waited while she obeyed.
If he hadn’t been right, she might’ve held out, because truthfully, she was afraid of him. She hadn’t forgotten him any more than her heart had. Seeing him again brought them together in a way that seemed almost as if they’d never parted on one level, but had suffered a terrible separation on another. One that needed to be worked through before they could get on with their separate lives.
She sat in the bucket seat and leaned her head back on the headrest. Like Chad, his truck was neat and clean. He’d always kept his vehicles in good condition. He obviously hadn’t changed in that respect. She lifted her head and slanted a look toward him. “So, what do you plan to do with the farm once it’s back in shape? Will you live here?”